Ayone else feel this way??

[IRON37]

Sorry to repeat the same rants that have probly been said countless times before..but i just cant figure some things out. Does it ever seem like some people avoid you just because you are bigger than them or something? Im really not trying to sound full of myself, but Ive seriously wondered this sometimes. Like when my friends will go to the beach to mess around and play football or whatever everybody is invited but they wont ever tell me until afterwards. I know there was girls there.. do they feel inferior or think I would try to get all the attention or something if my shirt was off? Even when certain people go to the bar or whatever I feel like they leave me out so they can try to look the biggest or most good looking or whatever. To be honest it really hurts my feelings when I feel like they puposefully ignore me for something stupid like that.


Im not a guy that thinks hes a "pimp" or tries to start fights or any of that stuff Im actually pretty calm and quiet. I always thought I was pretty polite to everyone too. I cant think of any other reason for them not wanting me to go besides them being insecure or whatever... some friends huh? lol. Hell I know everyone is a little insecure about something but I think I have some serious perception issues from the past because of what Ive mentioned and even relationships. If a girl is ever attracted to me I automatically assume it is just because she likes muscles and not me. And then I worry if I get a little out of shape or whatever that she wont be so impressed. Anyone have to deal with these thoughts? I wonder sometimes if Im just being over paranoid

 

[MAD_SCIENTIST]

Sorry to repeat the same rants that have probly been said countless times before..but i just cant figure some things out. Does it ever seem like some people avoid you just because you are bigger than them or something? Im really not trying to sound full of myself, but Ive seriously wondered this sometimes. Like when my friends will go to the beach to mess around and play football or whatever everybody is invited but they wont ever tell me until afterwards. I know there was girls there.. do they feel inferior or think I would try to get all the attention or something if my shirt was off? Even when certain people go to the bar or whatever I feel like they leave me out so they can try to look the biggest or most good looking or whatever. To be honest it really hurts my feelings when I feel like they puposefully ignore me for something stupid like that.


Im not a guy that thinks hes a "pimp" or tries to start fights or any of that stuff Im actually pretty calm and quiet. I always thought I was pretty polite to everyone too. I cant think of any other reason for them not wanting me to go besides them being insecure or whatever... some friends huh? lol. Hell I know everyone is a little insecure about something but I think I have some serious perception issues from the past because of what Ive mentioned and even relationships. If a girl is ever attracted to me I automatically assume it is just because she likes muscles and not me. And then I worry if I get a little out of shape or whatever that she wont be so impressed. Anyone have to deal with these thoughts? I wonder sometimes if Im just being over paranoid

Iron: Sometimes I feel that way also. If your friends are insecure, let them be. You don't need that. Don't surround yourself with that type of energy. Take care.

MS

 

[eroc613]

Yes, I can't make or keep friends that aren't muscular. I guess that's why all my friends are bigger than me. Choices are limited.

 

[kid1dakota]

Just to play devils advocate.Sometimes our type are very critical and demand perfection from ourselves. times without realizing we are that way with others also.Also the competition in which drives us turns others away.Unfortunately I have learned this the hard way.Just some food for thought.Then again maybe they are painfully jealous,lol.

 

[FordTurboDiesel]

I'm no where near as big as some of you fellas, but the best thing I did is start hanging out in a few hot spots I like by myself. Got to know some regulars here and there and became friendly with some bartenders. You can always network through them.
I love going out and doing shit. Having friends around seems to limit my good time out though. Some have become baggage to me just cause they don't know how to act or socialize like an adult in public.

I guess my issue isn't so much size as it is I have the, "asshole" look to me. Takes people A LONG time to warm up to me because of that.

Try frequenting a place or two by yourself. It's amazing what going out by yourself and showing some self confidence, and non reliance on other people will do for your social life.

 

[Thewhite9t]

I think you need some bigger friends... j/k.

I am sortof big, but I'm more of a powerlifter/explove lifts kindof guy to help me with my athletics, but I know what you're saying.

I havn't really run into this issue as far as events and going out and whatnot, but I have noticed that no one ever wants to work out with me anymore. None of the guys I used to work out with are my size/strength anymore and they always blow me off now when it comes to the gym. Sometimes it's really obvious.

Also I work out in a gym that isn't really hardcore at all, there is only me and one other big guy (who is wayy big he must be like 315 and muscle). When I start working out the numbers always start dwindling in the weight section.

I mean lifting is just like everything else, you gotta take the good with the bad I guess.

9T

 

[IRON37]

Just to play devils advocate.Sometimes our type are very critical and demand perfection from ourselves. times without realizing we are that way with others also.Also the competition in which drives us turns others away.Unfortunately I have learned this the hard way.Just some food for thought.Then again maybe they are painfully jealous,lol.

yeah that is a good point. Maybe Im just unconsciously competitive or something lol. I dont think Im too critical of others, but that is also something to consider I guess :st:r-wars

I'm no where near as big as some of you fellas, but the best thing I did is start hanging out in a few hot spots I like by myself. Got to know some regulars here and there and became friendly with some bartenders. You can always network through them.
I love going out and doing shit. Having friends around seems to limit my good time out though. Some have become baggage to me just cause they don't know how to act or socialize like an adult in public.

I guess my issue isn't so much size as it is I have the, "asshole" look to me. Takes people A LONG time to warm up to me because of that.

Try frequenting a place or two by yourself. It's amazing what going out by yourself and showing some self confidence, and non reliance on other people will do for your social life.

Dude youre right. It seems like I meet totally different people when Im out on my own. It is hard for me to warm up to people too.. Im not huge by any means but some people later admitted they were scared of me at first LOL. Instead of feeling cool about that it really frustrated me. I guess that just means you have to build your personality with your frame. People have alot of misconceptions usually it seems..

I think you need some bigger friends... j/k.

I am sortof big, but I'm more of a powerlifter/explove lifts kindof guy to help me with my athletics, but I know what you're saying.

I havn't really run into this issue as far as events and going out and whatnot, but I have noticed that no one ever wants to work out with me anymore. None of the guys I used to work out with are my size/strength anymore and they always blow me off now when it comes to the gym. Sometimes it's really obvious.

Also I work out in a gym that isn't really hardcore at all, there is only me and one other big guy (who is wayy big he must be like 315 and muscle). When I start working out the numbers always start dwindling in the weight section.

I mean lifting is just like everything else, you gotta take the good with the bad I guess.

9T

Yeah man I hear you. I ran into a buddy at the gym that I used to go to the fire academy with, we were being cool and shooting the shit. Than later on I was working out on my own and took my sweater off down to just my npc tank top and his facial expression changed and he bolted out of there and never came back. Again..dont know if Im just being paranoid or what. Me personally, I love training with bigger stronger people. it makes me motivated to keep up . Crazy people these days lol.. guess im one of em

 

[FordTurboDiesel]

IRON...
You said it man. People have a LOT of misconceptions. I am guilty as well.

Like I said. Size isn't my problem. I just have a "crazy bastard" look to me.

 

[Trainwreck80]

Not trying to be a jerk or anything but with all due respect maybe they just don't like you that much. Do you consider them to be "good" friends or are they mere acquaintances?

 

[ssdark1]

well, all my friends are long time friends so its not an isssue with them but it is when it comes to making new friends. its not that im huge or anything, but i think i have that cocky bastard look to me. maybe i am a little cocky, but i always treat people with respect so IDK.

 

[IRON37]

Not trying to be a jerk or anything but with all due respect maybe they just don't like you that much. Do you consider them to be "good" friends or are they mere acquaintances?

lol Ive considered that seriously. I consider them good friends because Ive known most of them over 15 years, went to school together, played in sports together, etc. The only thing that changed was I did "stuff" to get alot bigger than them and am known for that. Some of them have even done "stuff" too but you wouldnt know by looking at them. Guess I just need to accept things change and people do too. I hate to let go of old friends but I guess they dont have any problem forgetting me lol.. bastards. I can only imagine how some of the pro bodybuilders must feel. Its like youre an outcast but a small celebrity at the same time. Maybe I need to date a psychologist? lol

 

[Chuckblonde]

i fucking hate when someone (friend or not) does an impression of me and puts there elbows up like if they had big lats. i cant stand it. i make a concious effort keping my elbow at my sides and not being like the douchebags who walk around flaring their lats.

 

[Trainwreck80]

lol Ive considered that seriously. I consider them good friends because Ive known most of them over 15 years, went to school together, played in sports together, etc. The only thing that changed was I did "stuff" to get alot bigger than them and am known for that. Some of them have even done "stuff" too but you wouldnt know by looking at them. Guess I just need to accept things change and people do too. I hate to let go of old friends but I guess they dont have any problem forgetting me lol.. bastards. I can only imagine how some of the pro bodybuilders must feel. Its like youre an outcast but a small celebrity at the same time. Maybe I need to date a psychologist? lol

Maybe you should try talking seriously to them (or the one(s) you're closest to) about this and see what they say. Have you tried this yet? And I don't mean jokingly, but a serious conversation.

 

[willpwr82]

i fucking hate when someone (friend or not) does an impression of me and puts there elbows up like if they had big lats. i cant stand it. i make a concious effort keping my elbow at my sides and not being like the douchebags who walk around flaring their lats.

"AIR Lats" lol we used to call a guy that name who worked out with us in the gym at the company I used to work for. "nothing but air" between those arms and sides

 

[VitoBrata]

I'm not that big but alot of people tell me that there is something intimidating about me. I cannot tell you how many people (especially girls) have told me that they were shocked when they got to know me what I was really like.

I'm married now and don't really care a whole lot about going out/friends ect, you know who your freinds are when you have kids and move 24 miles away. Shit most of my "boys" have never even been to my house, in 4 years!

But I started thinking about his actually a week or so ago, about the "something about you is intimidating" thing. I started to look at people that I see in public places, especially the gym and looked for people that gave ME that kind of feeling. Like they were the type of person that is kind of intimidating, would ignore you if you said "hi" to them or whatever. Whenever I see someone like that lately I have made an effort to figure out what exactly was giving me that feeling about them. I noticed that usually they tend to avoid eye contact, kind of just ignore everyone around them, overall just behave just a little different than most people. There really is a way that you carry yourself that kind of puts off a, not so much "I'm a badass" but just a "don't approach me" kind of aura.

I realized that I do many of these behaviors when I don't know someone. Much of it is actually out of respect for them, for example women, I tend to avoid eye contact, avoid looking at women because I don't want them to feel like I'm checking them out, looking at their ass while they workout, I really don't look because you know people can see you in the mirrors when you can't see them b/c I see women looking at me when I'm lifting in the mirrors, but I don't look, out of respect and to not be creepy.

But the thing is, that behavior that I intend to not be creepy, IS what's creepy. Or intimidating b/c the people that do that to me give me that same feeling. So I have been trying to act different, say hello to people I don't know, carry myself more like other people..

Try that, I'll bet you will find it's the same thing. As far as your friends, my friends leave me out of all kinds of stuff, I guess I piss them off or whatever sometimes, I just don't care anymore, my new concept is just meet more and more people and have more and more friends.

 

[Thor]

HOLY CRAP BRO !

Sorry to repeat the same rants that have probly been said countless times before..but i just cant figure some things out. Does it ever seem like some people avoid you just because you are bigger than them or something? Im really not trying to sound full of myself, but Ive seriously wondered this sometimes. Like when my friends will go to the beach to mess around and play football or whatever everybody is invited but they wont ever tell me until afterwards. I know there was girls there.. do they feel inferior or think I would try to get all the attention or something if my shirt was off? Even when certain people go to the bar or whatever I feel like they leave me out so they can try to look the biggest or most good looking or whatever. To be honest it really hurts my feelings when I feel like they puposefully ignore me for something stupid like that.


Im not a guy that thinks hes a "pimp" or tries to start fights or any of that stuff Im actually pretty calm and quiet. I always thought I was pretty polite to everyone too. I cant think of any other reason for them not wanting me to go besides them being insecure or whatever... some friends huh? lol. Hell I know everyone is a little insecure about something but I think I have some serious perception issues from the past because of what Ive mentioned and even relationships. If a girl is ever attracted to me I automatically assume it is just because she likes muscles and not me. And then I worry if I get a little out of shape or whatever that she wont be so impressed. Anyone have to deal with these thoughts? I wonder sometimes if Im just being over paranoid

I feel like that a LOT too, and that same shit happens to me most of the time as well, and I am really mellow and polite myself. I always am wondering WTF ?!

 

[617ricky]

I really don't think "friends" would ditch you like that, and not wanna be around you just cuz you're big, or think you're gonna steal the girls or whatever - unless they're some real sketchy dudes.. Friends want the big cool kids around, cuz if they're gonna attract girls, good chance the friends will benefit from it as well.. And the little big mouths tend to feel tougher with the big guy chilling, lol.. Jumping to the conclusion that it's your size and looks that's putting your guy friends off, I'd say really isn't the case.. I mean it could be, but I'm just thinking back to years ago when I was always out at the clubs/beach and whatnot..

 

[Hungry Hungarian]

One thing we guys immersed in this culture forget to realize is that we are still 'freaks' to the average joe. Im not huge by any means but at 225 I'm fairly larger than most 'normal' people. I'm real carfeul not to talk about training, dieting etc around people unless they bring it up first. Have you ever been around someone who has just started training and thats ALL they talk about...whether its to impress you or simply because theyre excitied about their new hobby...either way it gets annoying doesnt it? I just try and be careful not to overdue witht the bodybuilding thing so i dont make other people around me feel uncomfortable or inferior.

 

[AZBodyZone]

i fucking hate when someone (friend or not) does an impression of me and puts there elbows up like if they had big lats. i cant stand it. i make a concious effort keping my elbow at my sides and not being like the douchebags who walk around flaring their lats.

Bro i totally feel you, i have like the shortest fuse ever (typical italian temper) and it takes so much when i see someone mimic me and the way that i walk, to not rip their damn head off. i just see it as others insecurities

 

[Stewie Griffon]

Sorry to repeat the same rants that have probly been said countless times before..but i just cant figure some things out. Does it ever seem like some people avoid you just because you are bigger than them or something? Im really not trying to sound full of myself, but Ive seriously wondered this sometimes. Like when my friends will go to the beach to mess around and play football or whatever everybody is invited but they wont ever tell me until afterwards. I know there was girls there.. do they feel inferior or think I would try to get all the attention or something if my shirt was off? Even when certain people go to the bar or whatever I feel like they leave me out so they can try to look the biggest or most good looking or whatever. To be honest it really hurts my feelings when I feel like they puposefully ignore me for something stupid like that.


Im not a guy that thinks hes a "pimp" or tries to start fights or any of that stuff Im actually pretty calm and quiet. I always thought I was pretty polite to everyone too. I cant think of any other reason for them not wanting me to go besides them being insecure or whatever... some friends huh? lol. Hell I know everyone is a little insecure about something but I think I have some serious perception issues from the past because of what Ive mentioned and even relationships. If a girl is ever attracted to me I automatically assume it is just because she likes muscles and not me. And then I worry if I get a little out of shape or whatever that she wont be so impressed. Anyone have to deal with these thoughts? I wonder sometimes if Im just being over paranoid

like most big guys you are most likely polite, well mannered, educated, respectful. you dont feel the need to start fights, etc.

problem is OTHER people have stereotypes about big guys, as well as about many other things. its nothing you have done personally. how many times has someone told you, after getting to know you. 'wow you are way different than i thought you would be'

i experience the same thing. being italian and somewhat large eveyone thinks i am going to talk like rocky balboa and have an IQ of 75. girls assume i am an egotistical man-whore, a player. guys when drunk sometimes try to start fights with me, as if taking out the big guy might make them appear tough.

my solution: i dont go out anymore and i meet girls online. i ignore people who stare or make comments when i am in public.