completely insane from drugs.

[brownbanana]

What do you call a schizophrenic on a desert island?









normal

 

[Samson250]

I can see some people are starting to post the "it's all in your head just take 3 deep breaths!" Which is as ignorant as a non competitive bodybuilder like me telling Phil Heath what he needs to do and how to come in this year. Super ignorant of me to tell him that with zero experience myself so if you don't have first hand knowledge through yourself or a loved one with anxiety than your suggestions mostly make you look really ignorant. Not calling anyone out I just see this in all kinds of threads. It's like my saying I have cancer and you telling me just to smoke a joint or work out more lol thanks but I'll stick with Doctors and therapists judgement and I don't need 5 different doctors to diagnose me. I don't understand the thinking in suggesting that. "Well Doctor the first 4 doctors I saw all confirmed I have cancer but I need to hear it from 5 of you" please. Some of us chime in just because we have nothing better to do or anyone else to talk to. I'm just as guilty sometimes. We wake up every morning and first thought is "what can I make a thread about today" and it really doesn't matter if it's a subject I even care about so long as people read it and pay attention to me because nobody else in my real life does"

 

[ALLEX]

I can see some people are starting to post the "it's all in your head just take 3 deep breaths!" Which is as ignorant as a non competitive bodybuilder like me telling Phil Heath what he needs to do and how to come in this year. Super ignorant of me to tell him that with zero experience myself so if you don't have first hand knowledge through yourself or a loved one with anxiety than your suggestions mostly make you look really ignorant.

FWIW, I've had bad anxiety and panic attacks and proper breathing helps a ton.

Not 3 deep breaths. Consistent breathing exercises...

I could have the worst anxiety episode right now I'd refuse to take one of these pills... I've seen what they do first hand and it's not pretty.

 

[brownbanana]

I can see some people are starting to post the "it's all in your head just take 3 deep breaths!" Which is as ignorant as a non competitive bodybuilder like me telling Phil Heath what he needs to do and how to come in this year. Super ignorant of me to tell him that with zero experience myself so if you don't have first hand knowledge through yourself or a loved one with anxiety than your suggestions mostly make you look really ignorant. Not calling anyone out I just see this in all kinds of threads. It's like my saying I have cancer and you telling me just to smoke a joint or work out more lol thanks but I'll stick with Doctors and therapists judgement and I don't need 5 different doctors to diagnose me. I don't understand the thinking in suggesting that. "Well Doctor the first 4 doctors I saw all confirmed I have cancer but I need to hear it from 5 of you" please.

From what I understand, it is in your head. neurons communicate via electrical within themselves, but communicate via chemical with each other. yet the mind communicates with other minds via symbols. the only one I have heard that really does have a chemical imbalance is bipolor(sorry bro, thats a tough one). i thought they usually prescribe lithium and if that didnt work klonopin (which did work for me to balance my moods.

 

[lntense]

Because of the addictive nature of many alternative medications! SSRIs tend not be abused like the others.

Try coming off an SSRI after years of use. I think your opinion will change.


They are addictive and you become dependent on them. Not in a recreational abusive way, like with benzos. It's the effect on neurotransmitters.


Then there's the sexual side effects.. I would rather take .5mg of klonopin any day of the week than be reliant on an SSRI.

 

[Samson250]

FWIW, I've had bad anxiety and panic attacks and proper breathing helps a ton.

Not 3 deep breaths. Consistent breathing exercises...

I could have the worst anxiety episode right now I'd refuse to take one of these pills... I've seen what they do first hand and it's not pretty.

Ok Man that's cool.

FWIW the worst anxiety attack "I" ever had put me in the emergency room and I would have smoked Crack if they told me it would make it better.

I think it's a frame of reference thing

 

[Samson250]

Try coming off an SSRI after years of use. I think your opinion will change.


They are addictive and you become dependent on them. Not in a recreational abusive way, like with benzos. It's the effect on neurotransmitters.


Then there's the sexual side effects.. I would rather take .5mg of klonopin any day of the week than be reliant on an SSRI.

There isn't an ssri I haven't taken long term Plus had to withdraw from. I've taken all you can name at one time or anotherI don't remember saying it wasn't difficult to impossible if you actually read my words. Jesus

If YOU can take kolon. Or xanax without abusing them good for fucking you. I and many other addictive personalities on the other hand don't have that luxury.

 

[brownbanana]

FWIW, I've had bad anxiety and panic attacks and proper breathing helps a ton.

Not 3 deep breaths. Consistent breathing exercises...

I could have the worst anxiety episode right now I'd refuse to take one of these pills... I've seen what they do first hand and it's not pretty.

so you have had a panic attack? because you think you are going to die. i wish i had xanax when i had mine. i ended going to the ER, but it turned out it was a panic attack. it felt like there was a rope around my neck, and someone was pulling it tighter and tighter.

after a few more, I did learn how to breath, but that is because the motherfuckers kept happening. But I dont blame people for wanted the drugs. panic attacks are terrifying.

you can feel them coming, before they hit, is when you start breathing. it really is a sort of meditation, rather than just breathing.

 

[lntense]

There isn't an ssri I haven't taken long term Plus had to withdraw from. I've taken all you can name at one time or anotherI don't remember saying it wasn't difficult to impossible if you actually read my words. Jesus

If YOU can take kolon. Or xanax without abusing them good for fucking you. I and many other addictive personalities on the other hand don't have that luxury.

I was referring to your "words" that alternative meds are more addictive. Addictive and dependence kind of go hand in hand.(I would say I'm addicted to testosterone) Then I provided the reasoning behind my view. A good majority of doctors could care less, or are just unaware. There's a reason those drugs are pushed so heavily, $$.


No need to get your panties in a wad.

 

[maldorf]

The flip side for me with the Prozac is that 10mg has a very nootropic effect on me and no side effects. Improved mood and sleep energy and generally much more focused and driven. I've played with dosages in the past and anything lower than 10mg gave me nothing and anything much more than 15mg gave me side effects. I guess 10mg is what we would call the sweet spot (for me at least).

Works well for my wife as well. She is so much better to be around. Really changed our relationship for the better. Miracle drug almost for her.

She tried another drug before that and she felt like a zombie on that, said she had never felt worse. Seems the drug really does have to be prescribed right.

 

[Cinder]

I haven't responded much in this post I made.

it's only because I see that I don't have to. I see that
I'm not alone. Your experience helps more than you know.
So thank you...

 

[KillerStack]

The fact that doctors even prescribe SSRIs for anxiety is beyond me.

Why? They are often very effective. Not immediately like a benzo but they have "cured" many a person with panic attacks. They worked for me, the worst panic attacks went away though I still had bad anxiety. They cause withdrawal symptoms but nothing like benzos. Know tons of people who have dropped them fairly easily but not so with benzos. I can cold turkey them and don't really suffer psychologically in the immediate, just very light headed etc. The panic attacks come back but it takes weeks. To me it's no mystery why they prescribe them, the cost to benefit ratio is good if dealing with severe anxiety, at this time there's not much else except the tranquilizers. Certainly I would never recommend benzos to anyone if here is any way at all to cope without. Maybe at the very start of anti-d treatment since it takes time for them to start working.

At the same time I'm not criticizing your protocol at all, if it works, great.

I do think I would have "needed" benzos when I first experienced panic attacks in my teens. It would have been good to kill the attacks immediately because the repeated experiences caused long term psychological wounds, so to speak.
This was over 20 years ago but I remember getting a lousy 10 tabs of 2mg Valiums that did nothing and then the doc refused to script more.

I could have the worst anxiety episode right now I'd refuse to take one of these pills...

I don't know about you but I would have done ANYTHING to make the pain of a panic attack go away, I would have taken any pill if it promised relief, I might even have taken something that would kill me as long as it stopped the attack. It's hard to know how someone else experiences these things but for me the panic attacks were... well, can't even put it into words. Yes I would easily have smoked crack like Samson250 said. Luckily I managed to hold on for the weeks and months it took for the antidepressant to take full effect.

 

[method2madness]

Yeah it's actually life threatening to randomly come off it I learned the hard way. Those without a history of seizure become at high risk for them. I take it strictly for mood stabilization 250mg x2 daily. It's not well known for mood disorders but as a last resort my Dr. and I tried it and sides aside it's working for me. Experienced same sides you mention though absolutely plus anger issues. I was intolerable. Also poor decision making like jaywalking a busy intersection at rush hour and getting hit by a truck breaking my legs. Just got back on my feet from that actually.

The real killer is I had landed the best job of my life for Kelloggs making six figures as a machine operator and loved it. LOVED IT! The 12 hour days 7 days a week month after month made it hard to control my issues and I was suspended pending termination. They paid for my therapy for a time but I wasn't fully protected by the union and I'll never be asked back. It's broke my heart. I can't hold a job more than a few months but I refuse to go on disability

Withdrawal from my mega-high dose of depakote threw my moods completely out of whack until the lower dose took effect and I was finally able to rest post surgery. I'm sorry your dealing with what you're going through brother. Have you talked to a psychiatrist to see if there is some sort of behavioral modification training to add along with your medication?

 

[Elvia1023]

Why? They are often very effective. Not immediately like a benzo but they have "cured" many a person with panic attacks. They worked for me, the worst panic attacks went away though I still had bad anxiety. They cause withdrawal symptoms but nothing like benzos. Know tons of people who have dropped them fairly easily but not so with benzos. I can cold turkey them and don't really suffer psychologically in the immediate, just very light headed etc. The panic attacks come back but it takes weeks. To me it's no mystery why they prescribe them, the cost to benefit ratio is good if dealing with severe anxiety, at this time there's not much else except the tranquilizers. Certainly I would never recommend benzos to anyone if here is any way at all to cope without. Maybe at the very start of anti-d treatment since it takes time for them to start working.

At the same time I'm not criticizing your protocol at all, if it works, great.

I do think I would have "needed" benzos when I first experienced panic attacks in my teens. It would have been good to kill the attacks immediately because the repeated experiences caused long term psychological wounds, so to speak.
This was over 20 years ago but I remember getting a lousy 10 tabs of 2mg Valiums that did nothing and then the doc refused to script more.



I don't know about you but I would have done ANYTHING to make the pain of a panic attack go away, I would have taken any pill if it promised relief, I might even have taken something that would kill me as long as it stopped the attack. It's hard to know how someone else experiences these things but for me the panic attacks were... well, can't even put it into words. Yes I would easily have smoked crack like Samson250 said. Luckily I managed to hold on for the weeks and months it took for the antidepressant to take full effect.

Exactly. Anyone who speaks like that hasn't had a really bad panic attack. Yes breathing techniques can be great but not when you are hit with a severe attack. I take my aas but I generally stay away from painkillers etc. The last thing I would want to take is an anti-anxiety pill. It's weird as I was always carefree and happy (still am) but they hit me out of nowhere. I did used to party a lot so no surprise as I have messed about with brain chemistry over years. But still it hit me out of nowhere. I was never someone who stressed about anything at all.

I only had a few attacks then basically walked around in a severe daze for weeks. The SSRI and it's only 10mg citalopram made a massive difference to me. The panic attacks I have had were severe. I would have taken anything for them to stop. I would like to think I am strong minded but it hit me out of nowhere and I didn't want to leave my room for weeks. But I understood staying in like that would make things much worse so I made an effort to go out. My head would spin and I couldn't focus on anything. I suffer from tinnitus and I think everything is related. They also gave me Diazepam but I never liked that as I would feel too out of it but sure when an attack was about to hit they were useful as they were fast acting. I remember being in work out of it on those so I never used to like taking them and only used a few.

So sure when you feel like you are going to suffocate because you can't breathe it's not good. I couldn't even shut my door. Nothing is fun about being a grown adult crying your eyes out sat on the floor thinking you are suffocating in front of your parents and them not having a clue what to do

 

[ALLEX]

I don't know about you but I would have done ANYTHING to make the pain of a panic attack go away, I would have taken any pill if it promised relief, I might even have taken something that would kill me as long as it stopped the attack. It's hard to know how someone else experiences these things but for me the panic attacks were... well, can't even put it into words. Yes I would easily have smoked crack like Samson250 said. Luckily I managed to hold on for the weeks and months it took for the antidepressant to take full effect.

Perhaps mine wasn't that severe. Doctor said I had agoraphobia too. I kept calm, sat on the floor and waited until it was manageable. Strange times...

 

[Samson250]

Have you talked to a psychiatrist to see if there is some sort of behavioral modification training to add

Thank you very much for the thoughtful words of encouragement I really appreciate it a lo!
Yes to the BM training question, definitely. We work on it regularly. Thanks again.

 

[Samson250]

No need to get your panties in a wad.

I see that I'm not alone. Your experience helps more than you know. So thank you...

I think for me this is one of those threads I take more seriously and personally because of how close it hits to home. Even on an "anonymous" forum admitting I'm bat shit crazy and being understanding of everyone's opinions about what that's like isn't easy.

Just want to clarify some points. First, I have been a heroine junkie and taken SSRIs like are listed in this thread and honestly there is a good argument SSRI withdraw is worse. Heroine is more intense but short lived compared with SSRIs which can take weeks and are very unpredictable. Lithium was hard. You Effexor guys I sympathize with a lot that shit HURTS to get off of. I've been prescribed them all and that's no exaggeration plus many drugs aimed at addressing schizophrenia. The sides were so bad on most of them I refused to take them after a time. They put me into a coma and for whatever reason my brain refused to adjust like they usually do. I'm sometimes prescribed xanax and other benzodiazepines in emergencies with the understanding I will abuse the shit out of them right away so they are temporary scripts. Wanna talk sexual sides of these meds? I haven't had sex in over 8 years! Haven't had it in my 30's! Partly what brings me to PM I can't finish but shooting hrt levels of test with viagra keeps it up and hard. I guess I'm trying to say I'm not "pro" SSRI meds at all there just isn't an alternative for a case like mine.

My case as I said is Type 1 bipolar. Type 2 is the more common and mostly depressing but my case is the more severe and even then I stand out as a special case due to the severity and difficulty treating. I have participated in several studies as finding a living test subject isn't easy due to the suicide rate which is above 90% in cases like mine. I lack the constitution for suicide unfortunately. Not a day goes by I don't wake up and wish I could do it rather than live another day like this. I try and look at the good things and work with children and adults with severe mental disabilities sometimes to remind myself what real problems are. I haven't held a job more than a few weeks in years. I'm often unbearable so friends and family keep a distance. I text a lot! Haha don't see many people in person. I don't date or have a significant other and have resigned myself I likely never will. Just how it is. I can't hold myself together let alone a relationship. Thank god I never had kids.

Allex.. You've had it right all along. I used to be on this board under a different profile named nosmas. In my mid to late 20s I started to manifest the first major manic shifts in mood and personality. Even though I was taking several medications I started going off the rails at times and a counselor from the board recognized what was going on. The mods got together and I was banned for my own protection since I didn't seem to recognize what was happening. The mods and even Big A were very kind and loving but insisted I needed to get help. It took years to get diagnosed even after that. My wife hngrygrl and I split up and I've been alone and working on my stability ever since. It's still an issue even now and although I can recognize triggers and precursor issues before they get to bad I still have a hard time. For instance this profile Samson250 had 2 posts between 2012 and 2017. What am I at now over 60? All in the last few weeks so it's still something I have to watch and I know the mods are to! I love it here though. Sometimes you pricks are my only friends it feels like haha

Anyway that's all I'm gonna say but want to say thank you again to OP and the other bros who told their story on this thread.

 

[brownbanana]

Check out other doctors man. I know some doctors would have diagnosed me as schizophrenic but i choose doctors who I knew would understand me. Alot of it is how you look at this world. Majority of people see this world purely as physical but it is wrong. That we are just machines. That you can boil it down to physics. There is a book called: "The Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness". It will give you an idea what I am pointing at. That being said, if the drugs ain't working, then maybe they aren't the problem. Seek psychotherapy, there is more going on inside of you then just chemical processes.

As for sex, It is essential. It is more than just pleasure. Not having sex at your age and for that long is poison for you.

Given all the shit I have been through and I have had my fair share. I only get prescribed adderall. Everything else, i have taken care of through therapy. It works, granted, I see one the best psychologist in southern United States.

 

[KillerStack]

Perhaps mine wasn't that severe. Doctor said I had agoraphobia too. I kept calm, sat on the floor and waited until it was manageable. Strange times...

I would like to think I am strong minded but it hit me out of nowhere and I didn't want to leave my room for weeks. But I understood staying in like that would make things much worse so I made an effort to go out. My head would spin and I couldn't focus on anything. I suffer from tinnitus and I think everything is related. They also gave me Diazepam but I never liked that as I would feel too out of it but sure when an attack was about to hit they were useful as they were fast acting. I remember being in work out of it on those so I never used to like taking them and only used a few.

So sure when you feel like you are going to suffocate because you can't breathe it's not good. I couldn't even shut my door. Nothing is fun about being a grown adult crying your eyes out sat on the floor thinking you are suffocating in front of your parents and them not having a clue what to do

That's usually what happens when you have panic attacks and especially repeatedly. You get agoraphobic, you start to avoid crowds because you don't want to embarrass yourself in public. I also forced myself to go out and interact with people but to this day if I have been anxious I can be uncomfortable in situations where there is no "exit", where I can't withdraw.
When people first experience panic attacks they think there is something physically wrong and they go to the ER because they think they're having an "heart attack" or whatever. Then you learn what you're experiencing is not dangerous and you're not going insane but knowing that doesn't help much in the midst of an attack. "It's only in your head" some will say trying to be helpful, well no shit, that's the worst place to have pain.

This shit will humble the strongest man. My friend only had one attack, at 50 years old while doing an MRI for his shoulder, which he botched not being able to go through with it. He said he'd rather shoot himself than go in that machine and panicking again. Now he has trouble going to the dentist, riding elevators etc. I then told him of my past and he was uncharacteristically empathetic saying, "bro, let me know if you get panic attacks again, I will get you some diazepam from my bro because I know how horrible it is". Sometimes I think everyone might benefit from experiencing it once. Even doctors treating the syndrome. Because it's hard to empathize without that experience. It's not just being overly melodramatic for attention.

 

[bonein]

99.9% of people in this world have no clue what a real panic attack is. People get a little anxiety and say they're having a panic attack. It's frustrating because it downplays what a TRUE panic attack is or how bad and debilitating anxiety can get for the people who truly get it. No offense but if you think you've had a panic attack and you not once thought about calling 911, you're dying/having a heart attack, and not thought holy shit give me anything in the world to get this shit over with, then you have probably not had a full blown panic attack. You don't just have a panic attack and sit on the ground and go namaste and take some deep breaths lol. I was so insanely lucky when I had my first one I was with my doctor and I carried around a pill container on my keychain with one of each of my meds at the time. Luckily I had a xanax and I needed it in me so bad I chewed it up in my mouth and put it under my tongue and near my gums like a dip. Tasted so bad but I didnt give a crap. Literally about 12 mins after taking the xanax I just stopped shaking and could breath again and felt normal again. Like a switch had been flipped, my Dr was even impressed how it was just all the sudden over. If I was on my own, I would've no doubt called paramedics.
Anxiety everyone gets for sure, its just how much do you get and how much can you healthily handle.

And for the dude who try to make comments like well actually it is all in your head because the chemistry of neurons...bla bla bla. Dude mental health is so unknown its really sad actually. Like for example drs dont know the cause of many mental health problems so they are just forced to treat the symptoms of those disorders, so you're going to be on meds for however long those symtoms persist, with many people being on those meds for life for their certain condition. Also, lots of mental health drugs are prescribed for uses they were not created to treat. Many people get prescribed drugs intended to treat other conditions that they dont have, yet they do work for their symptoms. So if you think mental health is like a broken arm where there is a clear cut way to go about fixing it, youre so wrong.