- Joined
- Feb 5, 2014
- Messages
- 75
Get ready for a long story, I gotta give you guys background but this is driving me crazy.
About 13 years ago I met this girl, from the first time we talked it was just overwhelming, never felt anything like that before... apparently never had she.
I was young and dumb, I knew it was such an intense feeling but I shrugged it off as being "love". After two years I ended things, I had a lot of demons back then and was hanging around a bad crowd etc. and she was a good girl from a good family etc..... it hurt like hell to do it but I felt I would ruin her and she'd be better off away from me.
Years went by and we both dated others. Every few months I would hear from her, I don't know how she'd find my new numbers but she'd always call to check up on me and see how I was doing. I wasn't doing good, but lied, I was dating a lot of crazy girls and still living that life. It tore me up hearing her voice cause I still cared so much for her so I just snapped at her, told her I couldn't stand her and to stay out of my life etc.
She's a persistent one though, about a year later she found me and still tried to get a hold of me to see how I was. This is now recent. We made ammends, well it was basically me apologizing for being such a dick, I told her she could be my friend. She told me the reason she was so persistent all these years was because I changed her life in a way she can never forget, she sent me pictures.... it was all the stuff I had ever given her, cards etc.... she told me even after moving on, she would never part with that stuff because it meant the world to her.
She's married now. I'm in a long-term relationship. Her husband seems like such a good guy, my girl is such a nice person too but I've never experience that intense passion I did for that other girl.
I'd be lying if I said I never stopped thinking about her, at the time I took it for granted but a decade later I really think I loved her. We just speak online to this day..... it's crazy, it just feels like we have some kind of unbreakable bond or something.
Someone slap some sense into me, is this just crazy talk??? I never believed in that "one true love" stuff but this makes me wonder. I also don't know what to do..... we just talk and bring back old memories to each other but never cross that line. Her guy is a good dude, and my girl is the sweetest person ever..... I don't want to try something and hurt either of them..... I also feel it's unfair to everyone I've been with that my my heart and mind have always been with my ex.
Is this normal what I'm feeling? You guys think it's ok if this girl will always have my heart? I can't speak for her, but I have this huge gut instinct that the feeling is mutual. I feel like at some point in life we're just going to end up together by chance or something...... but I don't want to push anything, I'm happy I just got the chance to feel such strong love.... I'm just really confused and overwhelmed.
She's been so persistent over the years, after all the hell I put her through that I'd feel terrible pushing her out of my life.... I know she wants to just have a hold of me, know I'm ok etc. I feel the same.... I like just having her within reach, i'd be crushed if she got in an accident or something and I never found out.
In my life or not, she's still always in my mind and honestly, she stole my heart long ago. Is it healthy for us to be in contact though? She's such a damn good person... I'm a bit of a scumbag, I came from a bad family, had a lot of issues etc., as much as I want it my responsible side doesn't want her to get too attached.
About 13 years ago I met this girl, from the first time we talked it was just overwhelming, never felt anything like that before... apparently never had she.
I was young and dumb, I knew it was such an intense feeling but I shrugged it off as being "love". After two years I ended things, I had a lot of demons back then and was hanging around a bad crowd etc. and she was a good girl from a good family etc..... it hurt like hell to do it but I felt I would ruin her and she'd be better off away from me.
Years went by and we both dated others. Every few months I would hear from her, I don't know how she'd find my new numbers but she'd always call to check up on me and see how I was doing. I wasn't doing good, but lied, I was dating a lot of crazy girls and still living that life. It tore me up hearing her voice cause I still cared so much for her so I just snapped at her, told her I couldn't stand her and to stay out of my life etc.
She's a persistent one though, about a year later she found me and still tried to get a hold of me to see how I was. This is now recent. We made ammends, well it was basically me apologizing for being such a dick, I told her she could be my friend. She told me the reason she was so persistent all these years was because I changed her life in a way she can never forget, she sent me pictures.... it was all the stuff I had ever given her, cards etc.... she told me even after moving on, she would never part with that stuff because it meant the world to her.
She's married now. I'm in a long-term relationship. Her husband seems like such a good guy, my girl is such a nice person too but I've never experience that intense passion I did for that other girl.
I'd be lying if I said I never stopped thinking about her, at the time I took it for granted but a decade later I really think I loved her. We just speak online to this day..... it's crazy, it just feels like we have some kind of unbreakable bond or something.
Someone slap some sense into me, is this just crazy talk??? I never believed in that "one true love" stuff but this makes me wonder. I also don't know what to do..... we just talk and bring back old memories to each other but never cross that line. Her guy is a good dude, and my girl is the sweetest person ever..... I don't want to try something and hurt either of them..... I also feel it's unfair to everyone I've been with that my my heart and mind have always been with my ex.
Is this normal what I'm feeling? You guys think it's ok if this girl will always have my heart? I can't speak for her, but I have this huge gut instinct that the feeling is mutual. I feel like at some point in life we're just going to end up together by chance or something...... but I don't want to push anything, I'm happy I just got the chance to feel such strong love.... I'm just really confused and overwhelmed.
She's been so persistent over the years, after all the hell I put her through that I'd feel terrible pushing her out of my life.... I know she wants to just have a hold of me, know I'm ok etc. I feel the same.... I like just having her within reach, i'd be crushed if she got in an accident or something and I never found out.
In my life or not, she's still always in my mind and honestly, she stole my heart long ago. Is it healthy for us to be in contact though? She's such a damn good person... I'm a bit of a scumbag, I came from a bad family, had a lot of issues etc., as much as I want it my responsible side doesn't want her to get too attached.
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