Hi guys. I don't know who else to talk to in my life so here I am. I've been dealing with depression for a few years and now anxiety has set in. I never knew what people meant when they suffered from these things, but now I do, unfortunately. I used to think this happened to people with weak minds, and my attitude was that people need to just suck it up. It's crazy to me though because it's in the mind and it's like I can't overcome it no matter what I do.
I was addicted to pornography for many years and this is the first year in a long time I have been free of it. I was hoping all this would lift when porn left, but it didn't. I've talked to my pastors, spouse, friends, and it's like no one can help me. It feels like I haven't been joyful in so long I don't know what that even feels like. This feeling is as if there's a weight placed on my every day and I have to carry it. Many times it feels like it's directly on my chest or the front of my head. It's like there's a net over my brain and it's for me. It's hard to describe. I understand why people cut and hurt themselves now. Sometimes I beat my head just to have some relief. It's my only escape.
Can anybody relate to this? This is no way to live. I pray and ask God for help, but it still remains. I don't understand.