I Love/Hate Bodybuilding!!

[bd868484]

I first got into bodybuilding thinking that if I am consistent, work hard, and stay knowledgeable then I would be able to achieve the look I wanted. Big and ripped but not a freak. I have never drank, I have no social life due to dedication to my goal. Little did I know that it would lead to. I start wanting to get bigger and bigger, better and better so I start to take steroids. I risk my health at 19, now 23, in the hope that someday I will be able to go onstage and possible win a show or just have confidence in public. I'm 6ft 275 around 16%bf. I mean I am strong in every bodypart but they just do not seem to grow. I can do the 150s on the incline for 10 and I have no chest at all. Can row 405 but not great back etc etc... Over this time span I have went from 185 to 275 currently and all I have to show for my troubles are no hair, horrible stretch marks, a resting hr of 100, acne, gyno, nerve damage from synthol injections in arms that did nothing for me, a ruptured disc in my lower back, and depression. Guys ask me all the time when Im going to compete, but they have no idea what I look like because I where a jacket to the gym no matter what and move big weight so they assume I look good. I am currently in college for exercise physiology and want to become a strength and conditioning coach and personal trainer, but have a hard time becoming committed to it because I feel like I have failed at it. I know that it sounds like I am whining or whatever but that fact is I just can't stand it anymore and just feel like giving up. I am at a lost for what to do and just wanted to say that I love the sport, but I hate it as well. After all the knowledge I have obtained the one thing that I have come to no for certain is that in bodybuilding GENETICS rule, if you don't have this no matter what you do, drugs, diet, weights, it doesn't matter. Yea you can look ok on the beach or whatever but nowhere near the top of the sport no matter what work you put in.

 

[Ironmanpits]

Not everyone has all the key items needed to look like a pro... be as good as YOU can be and thats all you can do. It seems unfair at times but I'm sure you can do other things better than most pro's. I realized long ago that I could be above average but not a pro so I just enjoy lifting ...but it is a small part of my life. Good luck to you.

 

[bd868484]

the thing that really gets to me is that if i had just a little more muscle fullness in like a couple spots I could compete and do well, but no matter what I do I doesn't happen but I keep going and going with that little bit of hope in my head. I am greatful for what I have, I am, but the drive in me just wants to be the best as Im sure its the same way in many.

 

[Big A]

It sounds like you lift more with your tendons than with your muscles - ie you don't have the mind/muscle connection worked out, because lifting the amounts you do, if you did them correctly where the muscles would fire properly, the muscles would be huge.

 

[Retriever]

It's the same for any sport really. Anyone can sprint 100m, but very few will compete in the Olympics. You have to accept you cannot be a pro bodybuilder but you can still be a great trainer or coach because you had to fight every inch of the way to get where you are now.

 

[supertrucker212]

I totally understand where you are coming from. People compliment me alot but when I look in the mirror I think I look good but still have a long way to go. Part of my problem is I compare myself to the pro's and have to beat it in my head that everybody is different. I am currently 5'4 190 and want to compete next year as a middleweight. Like you I struggle with my chest. I did bring it up this past year by going back to doing heavy bench presses, but it still lags behind. I drive my fiance nuts by eating every 2-3 hours. When I go deer hunting in the fall I am worried about being quiet in the woods while eating a protein bar. Regardless, I love the iron sport. My future father-in-law coaches high school powerlifting and I enjoy watching those kids lift. A few of them have noticed my physique and have come up to me and asked for advice which makes me feel good. Even if I only ever compete in NPC I figure that's better than alot of others look. Someone that knows me very well once told me that they can't imagine me not lifting. That statement right there tells me I'm at home. In the end only you can decide what's best for you. The only question I have is do you or have you tried different routines, diets, and cycles and noted what seems to work best. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find the right combination for both bodybuilding and life.

 

[bd868484]

i mean i can feel the muscles working and use a slow eccentric with a forceful controlled concentric and get a nice pump in all my muscle groups so I don't know about the whole tendon lifting thing. I mean thats the things that frustrates me is that I have alot of muscle but if just doesn't look good. My bi's are long but not big at all at the insertions, chest is full but no lower or inner chest at all. I guess that is where the genetics come in.

 

[bd868484]

another thing about competing. I could do shows and look good but I think I have unrealistic expectations. If I do a show I want to win and be confident that I can otherwise why do it. I just cant get the look I want out of my head so no matter what I look like its not good enough. Its ironic that I did a show a year after I started training at 18 totally clean and thought I was on my way to my dream. Now I have taken an adequate amount of AAS for years and I haven't competed yet.

 

[inoverdrive]

It sounds like you lift more with your tendons than with your muscles - ie you don't have the mind/muscle connection worked out, because lifting the amounts you do, if you did them correctly where the muscles would fire properly, the muscles would be huge.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1608/is_10_17/ai_80309866

 

[inoverdrive]

Here is some more good reading
http://bodybuilding.about.com/od/howtoachieveresults/a/mindovermuscle.htm

 

[Tom]

drop bodyfat

bro your 6' and 275 at 16% bodyfat...bet if you got down to 225 and 5% bodyfat you would be everything you've dreamed of. extreme muscle hardness and low bodyfat can make you look much heavier than you are.

 

[wizard of ozz]

Exactly what i was going to suggest !! I used to feel the same way until i dropped the body fat down quite a bit , then i was amazed at what i had acheived.

 

[Sampson]

You obviously have high standards, look on the positive side...... your only 23 years old, 6ft 275, your muscles are going to be growing and maturing for years to come, some guys would give their right nut for that

 

[mrsoul]

i think you suffer from a distorted self image. you said you have gone from 185 to 275 but haver made no progress. that sounds like major progress to me. i hate to hear you have already resorted to heavy drug use and syntherol at your age, i really think you are a beast that sees himself differently than others do. post some pics.

 

[mature muscle]

your not alone bro. first come to grips your not arnold and then just enjoy lifting take some pressure off of your self i have the same problem i now use only low doses of gear a cycle for me may be 250-test 200-deca EQ200 a week and what i get is what i get.as for strength a rather do the exercise correct with lighter weights if that what it takes. i have to just keep trying and accept that's who i am and that's the best you can do.i guarantee you still look better then your average coach potato.

 

[RBB]

Over this time span I have went from 185 to 275 currently and all I have to show for my troubles are no hair, horrible stretch marks, a resting hr of 100, acne, gyno, nerve damage from synthol injections in arms that did nothing for me, a ruptured disc in my lower back, and depression.

I read through your whole post and this is the one thing that really stuck out to me. Why are you sacrificing your health for a sport that you have admitted you will never compete in? That just doesn't make any sense, bro. It doesn't even make any sense if you are competing, in my opinion. If I were you I would lose some weight, start doing some cardio and get healthy. Stop worrying about bb'ing, it's not the only thing in your life, it's one small part. You need to get your priorities straight and put things into perspective.

 

[eroc613]

Think most guys want everything, right now. This sport takes decades to become pro level for some people. In four years time, your complaining to much.... either you want it or you don't. Most people dream of your progress. And your talking about genetics. just stay focused. (If it's what you really want)
Besides you don't have any idea what your development looks like, until you take off all that fat. Like someone said that's the unhealthly part. (Being a little overweight) A least get down to 10%bf

 

[inoverdrive]

I am currently in college for exercise physiology and want to become a strength and conditioning coach and personal trainer, but have a hard time becoming committed to it because I feel like I have failed at it.

I think if you look at most of the people in this field they are not all like bodybuilders. I have seen some that just look like your normal, average size person. Being a coach is like a teacher. You just need to know what your talking about.
I think that if most people your age would realize how much they could do with the natural test there bodies are producing they would be amazed. It does take time and patience. Like everybody is saying though, drop your bf levels. The more cut you are the bigger you look. Hang in there bro

 

[TestPolska]

Genetics will make or break you in this sport. Like Big A said mabye you need to reaccess the way you are moving the weight not just the weight you are moving. I figured out long ago there are strong guys and there are big guys, and it took me forever to realize the 2 don't always come hand in hand.

Mabye you are geared more towards something of a powerlifting nature. But if you don't have the genetics to be a pro, you have 2 options, one accept the fact and find another path that you CAN axcell at or you can chase the pros anyway...And who knows man? Mabye genetics aren't all they are cracked up to be?

You should really try to combat those sides you get from gear though. Espically that bloodpressure and heart rate. Dangerous stuff my man.

 

[phreak]

I first got into bodybuilding thinking that if I am consistent, work hard, and stay knowledgeable then I would be able to achieve the look I wanted. Big and ripped but not a freak. I have never drank, I have no social life due to dedication to my goal. Little did I know that it would lead to. I start wanting to get bigger and bigger, better and better so I start to take steroids. I risk my health at 19, now 23, in the hope that someday I will be able to go onstage and possible win a show or just have confidence in public. I'm 6ft 275 around 16%bf. I mean I am strong in every bodypart but they just do not seem to grow. I can do the 150s on the incline for 10 and I have no chest at all. Can row 405 but not great back etc etc... Over this time span I have went from 185 to 275 currently and all I have to show for my troubles are no hair, horrible stretch marks, a resting hr of 100, acne, gyno, nerve damage from synthol injections in arms that did nothing for me, a ruptured disc in my lower back, and depression. Guys ask me all the time when Im going to compete, but they have no idea what I look like because I where a jacket to the gym no matter what and move big weight so they assume I look good. I am currently in college for exercise physiology and want to become a strength and conditioning coach and personal trainer, but have a hard time becoming committed to it because I feel like I have failed at it. I know that it sounds like I am whining or whatever but that fact is I just can't stand it anymore and just feel like giving up. I am at a lost for what to do and just wanted to say that I love the sport, but I hate it as well. After all the knowledge I have obtained the one thing that I have come to no for certain is that in bodybuilding GENETICS rule, if you don't have this no matter what you do, drugs, diet, weights, it doesn't matter. Yea you can look ok on the beach or whatever but nowhere near the top of the sport no matter what work you put in.

wow. i am going to say some things here, and take it for what you will. after reading this:

all I have to show for my troubles are no hair, horrible stretch marks, a resting hr of 100, acne, gyno, nerve damage from synthol injections in arms that did nothing for me, a ruptured disc in my lower back, and depression.

IMO bodybuilding isn't to blame for your current situation- you are. it sounds to me like you have been impatient and reckless. i have watched this happen more and more over the past 10 years, as bbing drugs have become more easily accessible because of the internet. too many young kids are using too much, too soon and the textbook health problems (like what you mentioned) are popping up.

it may be a cliche, but bbing isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. and, like you said, if you don't have the genetics you will never be successful competing. and only a small percentage of the guys who are successful competing make any kind of money. there are lots of pros where i live, people who have physiques that you and i will never attain. you know how they live? personal training, scraping by every month. others resort to illegal activities to keep up their lifestyle. the biggest and most conditioned guy at my gym (pro) drives a kia spectra.

you say you have no social life- so not only have you comprimised your physical health, but your mental health as well. and for what? you NEED a social life bro. being social is necessary to be healthy.

it sounds to me like you are at a crossroads in your life, and better late than never. you need to evaluate what you want out of life, where you want to go and who you want to be as a man. your physique is a small component of who you are, and you can see what concentrating on only it leads to.

16% is alot of fat at 275. i am thinking you are fatter than that if your resting heart rate is that high. it sounds like you need to get off the drugs, get on the treadmill, and get serious about your diet. then you need to sort your life out.

train to look good and feel good. train to improve your health, not set it back. if you want to use performance enhancers in small doses then fine, just quit going overboard with them.

you are lucky because you are young and have time to sort things out.

i hope you don't take what i said as flaming you either. good luck to you.