i wish i could just get over it

[22son]

i realize this isnt as serious as some of the other guys problems that actually got married but none the less it has screwed me up. i was with a girl for a few months and im not one to jump into things but there was somthing differetnt about her i never cared so much about another person than i did her. i would of done anything for her and i did until i realized it wouldnt do anygood. i mean she is the one that came on really strong in the first place. it actually made me uncomfortable but i over looked it because i liked her. she said things like she was going to marry me someday and that we would have lots of kids and all of that. which i didnt want at the time but i really did want to be with her and all of a sudden out of no where she just flipped. she just didnt talk to me anymore or anything the only answer i could get out of her as to whey was i dont know. i just dont get it. i never cared so much about another person but i was willing to do anything for her and she knew it and just threw it away. i feel like a fool for everything i did for her.which i did a lot. i guess i just want to know how she could just change like that. since she wont tell me why sorry if it is stupid but its really screwed with my life latly since i really thought she was the perfect girl for me. and im also sorry that ive had a few drinks before writing this but it makes me feel better. thanks for your help

 

[brocksamson]

hey man, just look at it as a learning experience. She obviously wasnt being honest with you about how she really felt. Learn and move on to better things

 

[triathloncoach]

`Be me careful

That's why people don't rush in. But you'll recover.

Believe me, you are not alone. Not by a long shot. Just be confident your heart will heal. But not right away.

 

[juicy j]

I am sorry to hear this bro, I have been there and it is true, you are not alone. I agree with a previous poster, use this as a learning experience and hopefully it will help you make better decisions in regards to dating in the future. It was apparent by your statement that things were just weird and she came on strong, trust your instincts next time, I wish I had in the past!

 

[22son]

thanks a lot guys. it helped a lot to just unload that ive been keeping it to myself and it was just driving me nuts. the worst part of it is we live in a smaller town so just about everytime i convince myself that i am over it i run into her somewhere and it just all comes back. but ive definately learned from it i dont exactly know why i ended up liking her so much because i could tell from the beginning that somthing was off with her but for whatever reason i ignored it. so its all on me lol o well plenty of others out there i guess. thanks again guys

 

[BUSDRIVER]

your first mistake was doing too much for her. Believe it or not but girls dont want a guy like that, especially when they are young. You probably called her all day, always was with her, always showed up where she was, etc. You have to be a little bit of a challenge for them. you should have acted like you didnt care so much, she would still be chasing you. But let this be a lesson to you- dont go all overboard in the first few months. Dont listen to your mom- girls dont go for the sensitive guy who smothers them and is always doing things for them and just will never just leave them alone or go away.

 

[DrivingForward]

Now that I'm dating again...

I find that I have the best luck ignoring women... not returning phone calls... being reluctant to come over.. etc.

Frankly, I'd rather hang out and watch TV than "cuddle" anymore. I really just have zero desire, other than to fuck a couple nights a week. Funny what the failure of a long term relationship will do to ya.

I once bought a young woman (at her request) a very large diamond, a new bmw, and gorgeous condo... She eventually flaked out "from the pressure". Left one day unexpectedly with only a note on the kitchen counter.

Now I simply treat women like they're less appealing than a day old cup of coffee and they call non-stop. They(There are several) offer to drive over to fuck and then leave, or beg me to come see them. One even got a set of breast implants because she said she wanted me to be more attracted to her. Being a total prick seems to be the way you get results.

Women in the US have significant psychological problems in my humble opinion.

 

[ripped45]

Now that I'm dating again...

I find that I have the best luck ignoring women... not returning phone calls... being reluctant to come over.. etc.

Frankly, I'd rather hang out and watch TV than "cuddle" anymore. I really just have zero desire, other than to fuck a couple nights a week. Funny what the failure of a long term relationship will do to ya.

I once bought a young woman (at her request) a very large diamond, a new bmw, and gorgeous condo... She eventually flaked out "from the pressure". Left one day unexpectedly with only a note on the kitchen counter.

Now I simply treat women like they're less appealing than a day old cup of coffee and they call non-stop. They(There are several) offer to drive over to fuck and then leave, or beg me to come see them. One even got a set of breast implants because she said she wanted me to be more attracted to her. Being a total prick seems to be the way you get results.

Women in the US have significant psychological problems in my humble opinion.

i sure as hell dont understand it but this has been my expeirance too. i married a chick and gave her everything she wanted including getting her hooked up in a badass job through my connects and treated her like a queen only for her to turn on me for no reason.i will be damn if im ever that nice and trusting again

 

[Theanswer]

I dated a girl for 8 years. Well, 6 years...and then we were off & on for a couple more. Anyways, I havnt seen or heard from her now in 8 months. I loved this girl more than life itself, and was just always scared/hesitant to take that next step...but we had finally both gotten to a point where we were financially & emotionally ready for that, or so I thought, and she had been saying "I'm just ready to do this, once and for all, and give u everything & make this thing work"...so, I fell in, head first! It was finally going to happen, and I was finally going to make the move. Well, after about a month of talking about getting back together, one day she just plain disappeared! She vanished, phone went straight to voicemail, blocked on all social network stuff. And, comes to find out...she moved to Europe with a pro hockey player. Cold witch man! I've since "moved on". I moved across the country to Arizona now, got a new gf that I couldn't be happier with, and seems like couldnt be more perfect for me. But, I feel like I'm still very much in love with this other girl, who I've spent my entire adult life thinking I was going to marry really. I sleep next to my new lady every night, but a couple times a week I dream about the old one and wake up all f'd up in the head, and spend the next day trying to avoid the current lady, which she by no means deserves! I don't know what else to say, or what advice to give...but it came to a point where I knew she really was gone, and that I had to move forward. Ive found a new girl, & couldn't be happier with her...but unfortunately, 8 years doest die so easy, and I spend a lot of my time saying just what ur thread title says "wish I could just get over it"..,just be thankful you only gave her a few months, take it as a lesson learned, (It's a lesson I think all men learn at some point, and it hurts more than AMYTHING you could ever imagine sometimes, but good to get out of the way) and hold ur head up and move forward! All we can do!

 

[ajdos]

Im sorry a lot of women are just like this, hiding behind the fact they are emotional as a 'make it ok' for this kind of behavior changing their minds like changing ones socks.
Jack Nicholon's character Melvin in "As good as it gets" said it best-when asked how he wrote female characters so well he replied "I think of a man...then I take away reason and accountability"
SO TRUE.

 

[Magnolia5]

It does hurt at first and does for awhile. But in time it goes away. I know it sounds cliche but it's the truth.

 

[Problem]

Things like that happen all the time. Some people are scared of commitment, maybe she went back to an ex or any other reason and you probably never know.. only solution is to move on and get over it with time, it's her loss, she's not the only girl in the world..

Good luck brah