Im ashamed of what I have become.....

[zephyr22]

Let me start by saying I love BB. Secondly I think I have made some awesome gains in the last 4 weeks. Biggest Ive been and leanest in about 3 years. Now back to my problem. Ive been on and off a pain killer called tramadol (ultram). Now the problem lies in the fact that my family doctor put me on it for my right shoulder pain (nerve impingement). This stuff works great for the pain without making me feel spaced out like a narcotic would. However I decided about 8 months ago to get off it due to just seeing how I would do without it. Bam withdrawl like a mofo. Then I later read on the net how tramadol can be physically addictive. Well here I am agian on it for my shoulder pain. I just feel like a damn addict or something. I just dont like to feel like Im dependant upon something or anything for that matter. I feel ive lost the war of addiction. I tell ya what wouldnt wish this shit on anyone. I know Im not on GHB or cocaine or anything like that. I just wish sometimes I was a stronger person. THis shit has got me feeling in the dumps. I have been on SSRI in the past like effexor. I didnt like the way it made me feel. Also getting off that shit was pretty bad also. I just feel out of control even though I am productive etc......Thanks.

 

[lynx]

Sorry to hear about the problem with the pain medication. It seems that your doctor should have told you that you could have gotten addicted to it. Is he doing anything else for your shoulder? If not, it sould like he's just treating the symptoms and not the problem.

I had some major problems with my shoulder and I had hear of a treatment called "Active Release Technique." I found a chiro in my area to work on me and I am doing great (with my shoulder, I'm going to him with my hip flexors now)! You might want to look into this as a possible treatment (my doc said that it helps pinched nerves as well). To find out more about it you can go to www.activerelease.com. Also to see if there is someone in your area that does this treatment.

I hope this helps a little.

 

[MrJuiceHead]

i have read similar problems with guys that work out, one of them sayed i just deal with the pain, i dont know how sever your pain is or how his was. if you can go without the drugs than do it

Good luck

 

[zephyr22]

actually I have...

I have had an MRI etc... I have severe subscapularis tendonitis with a pinched nerve. I was told by my orthopedic surgeon that this could only be helped by antinflamatories and quit lifting weights. I wont stop lifting. So the alternative he gave me was motrin and tramadol.

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Zephr22

I just read your post. I think you are imposing some rather godlike demands on yourself! I have read some of your other posts and I realize you are a scientific thinker with a real interest in medicine etc. Let's see if this helps you feel a little better about your situation.

Feel free to tell me when you think I am wrong or right! Anytime someone feels really bad I look for the self defeating belief or something along the lines of, "I should" "I must" or "I ought to" type commands and the hurtful belief that lies behind it. From reading your post, I think this is basically what I get- feelings of WORTHLESSNESS AND SELF-HATRED.
EXAMPLE: because I didn't follow my promise to stop taking pain killers as I SHOULD HAVE DONE, I am a STUPID WORTHLESS PERSON! Considering how important it is to stop, I am really NO GOOD for continuing to take pain killers.

See how damb perfect you have to be? What the hell are you, a human? Exactly! Step two: Zephr22 lets see if we can support this (self-hurting) belief you have! Are you really a worthless person because you haven't stopped taking the pain meds? How can you prove the validity of your belief?

EXAMPLE: In what way am I a STUPID, WORTHLESS person because I didn't follow my promise to stop taking pain killers, as I SHOULD HAVE followed it?
How does this stupid act of taking pain meds make me NO GOOD?

ANSWER: In no way am I as a total person STUPID AND WORTHLESS because I keep doing a potentially harmful act of taking pain medication. My act is foolish, but that hardly makes me a WORTHLESS FOOL! I am only a PERSON who is now acting foolishly and may act less foolishly in the future and who does MANY other INTELLIGENT things! IT, this stupid act of taking pain killers is of little good, but I am not IT. I am I, and I have the potential to do many good acts and many bad acts. I also have the ability to exchange my bad deeds for good ones. So let me see now how I can stop taking these pain medications!

What I am attempting to show you is how rigid (oughts, shoulds, musts) thoughts and demands you place on yourself can make you feel bad! Hey, brother, you are just a man! It's okay to be human once in a while. It may even help you empathize with others when you come across someone who has encountered the same issue. I can tell you are driven to succeed. Just be careful of the SUPERHUMAN DEMANDS you place on yourself. Those unrealistic beliefs can cause you to feel miserable if you let them trap you.

I am no specialist in addiction. What I can say is it sounds to me like you are a normal guy who was in pain, went to the doc, got some meds and now are expiriencing a nasty side effect! You are still a good man. Find someone who knows how to get off that stuff and make a list of alternatives. I'd try the ART, for sure. I know two people who were all screwed up and couldn't even lift their arm. Now they are lifting pain free. Keep searching, Zephr22!

 

[Armageddon]

Bro look into the ART therapy. Anti-inflammatories are over rated and so are surgens. I've been there with pinched nerves, tendonitis, bursitis. It al sucks, and they all say not to work out and take this pill it will fix it. Horse shit! My chiro says to work out LIGHT, stretch, ice, occasionally come and get adjusted. I've ranged from 3 visits a week to once a month, just depends on how well I take care of myself. Find a good chiro or let me know what state your in and I may be able to get a reference for a good one for you.

 

[zephyr22]

I hear you on this.....

Yeah I hear you on the ice light training etc.... I have tried many things to help with it. Me and my Doc went through many treatments. Now it comes to this. Its strange as soon I miss a dose I get really depressed feeling. I know this sounds off the wall but A freind I had said he went through the exact same thing. He didnt want to tell anyone because he thought he was going crazy since it wasnt a narcotic etc... If you look at tramadol it has some seratonin increasing qualitys like a SSRI for depression. Only thing is that Tramadol works much faster and does not last long like a SSRI like paxil does. All I can say is I need to get off this stuff and never go back on but Im scared of feeling like poop. I havent talked to my fiance about this because she wouldnt be able to really help me other than emotional support. I really appreciate all your guys help. Thanks.

 

[Armageddon]

Some support is really better than no support at all.

 

[astrolifter]

I know the feeling

Let me start by saying I love BB. Secondly I think I have made some awesome gains in the last 4 weeks. Biggest Ive been and leanest in about 3 years. Now back to my problem. Ive been on and off a pain killer called tramadol (ultram). Now the problem lies in the fact that my family doctor put me on it for my right shoulder pain (nerve impingement). This stuff works great for the pain without making me feel spaced out like a narcotic would. However I decided about 8 months ago to get off it due to just seeing how I would do without it. Bam withdrawl like a mofo. Then I later read on the net how tramadol can be physically addictive. Well here I am agian on it for my shoulder pain. I just feel like a damn addict or something. I just dont like to feel like Im dependant upon something or anything for that matter. I feel ive lost the war of addiction. I tell ya what wouldnt wish this shit on anyone. I know Im not on GHB or cocaine or anything like that. I just wish sometimes I was a stronger person. THis shit has got me feeling in the dumps. I have been on SSRI in the past like effexor. I didnt like the way it made me feel. Also getting off that shit was pretty bad also. I just feel out of control even though I am productive etc......Thanks.[/QUOT

How ironic for me to stumble onto this thread.

I've been battling tramadol addiction for almost 3 years, using on average of 18-20 pills a day up until a month or so ago, when I cut it in half and stayed with that for around 3 weeks. I've also been on paxil for 2 years. Now its been a week since i've last taken it and the withdrawals are horrible, feeling like crap, profuse sweating, shakiness..etc. The worst is at night, I toss and turn until 7 to 8 am and then sleep off and on until the early afternoon when I have to go to work. My paxil dose has been cut in half. That will be the next to go. I feel your pain, tramadol is no joke!

 

[Bench]

I understand your pain with the withdraws and the addiction. I was in a severe ATV wreck on 9/21/03 and was put on pain meds. At my peak I was using 240mg of oxycontin ED, 60-120mg of morphine sulfate ED, and 6-10mg of hydro-morphine a day. Did I need that much? NO! I became an addict and felt like shit about that. I was using it for the pain but mainly for the euphoric feeling from the narcotics. Finally I said I had enough of it and went could turkey and that was one of the worse hell I have been through coming clean. I didnt sleep for days, severe sweating, shakes, etc. It went on for a few weeks and all I could think about was taking some narcotics to feel better but luckily I was strong enough to resist it. It was one of the toughest things I have done, but I did it. Maybe in your case instead of going cold turkey talk to your docter about wheening yourself off the meds, that should make the withdraws easier. Once I was done with the withdraws I started to feel better by the day, both physically and mentally. It was tough but in the long run you will feel much better. Be strong, you can do it. Good luck and if you ever feel like talking about it and are down dont hesitate to PM me. Take Care.

Bench

 

[zephyr22]

Well Ive been cutting the doses down...

I Hope I dont have any serious side effects like not sleeping, shaking and crapping etc.... I have not yet. I have myself on a 5 week taper system I devised. I work 12 hour shifts and really cant afford to miss work due to no sleep. Thanks everyone for your support. Also take it from me never take tramadol as it is satan in a pill. Heck I thought I was one of the only people haveing a problem with this. I guess im not alone. Later.

 

[full_belly]

YOU sound sensible in your approach zepher, cold turkey is rarely the amswer. it can be life threatening, i my self became two hourly user of gbl(solvent that converts to ghb) thenmy doc put me on XANAX. even worse, 6 months off now. you need to tell your fiance .........
going thru what you are in secret subconciously makes you feel guilty.

Someone once told me if you have an addiction, (any) it rules your life and colours yoiur thoughts..

u said your fiance could only give emotional support, man i wish i had that during my dark days.

i respect your strength