how can i tell her with the least amount of tension or dammit how can i say it without being a total dick?
You cant and you wont. What I mean is you will feel bad regardless of how well you lay it out.
Will it be bad? Well...
You will at the very least…
Break her heart in ways you have not dreamed of that will affect her and your son for the rest of your life. She will go through many emotions from hating herself to hating you. Your child will become a pawn in the middle of the game forever played by you both.
.......maby...........
He grows up with mom who resents you and influences him. You use your son to hear about who mommy is dating these days or how the new step daddy treats them. Or maby mommy turns to God hard from all the pain over this and your son grows up to find himself in front of an abortion clinic at seven years old on Saturday morning protesting against something he knows nothing about. Lets not forget its hard on you to.
Know matter what you will be their for your son you say…
......maby............
You see him on weekends if your lucky and you become a full on alcoholic drunk to dull the senses from all this pain. He grows up putting you to bed after you pass out or explaining to employees of resteraunts his daddy is sick and that’s why he is beligerant and acting beyond strange. You end up found dead and penniless from years upon years of drinking yourself through self hatred. Then your son tells you at twenty he is in love with someone other than his wife and the cycle continues. There is no quick end to this story. You will continue to live together for sometime whether you are married or not and Hell awaits you both.
OOOOO….. Starting to feel like you’re the bad guy? Do you feel guilty?
............maby...........
You might decide you don’t deserve to live for the pain you have caused her…her father, mother, family, every person who was at your wedding, everyone. You might hate yourself so much you decide to give up on life. Turn to hard drugs. Do anything you can to inflict on yourself just a pinch of the pain you caused her. Might be her that ends up in a mental hospital for observation, might be you. Ever been to therapy? Has she? If neither of you do it’s a good chance little Jr. will. How do you feel about anti-depressants? You don’t like it when she takes your money? I got news for you Jr. she gets it either way except if you divorce and dont pay you get locked up.
Don’t tell me the ex is not in your mind. Lets turn this thing up all the way for a minute.
...........maby..........
Bring your ex into your marriage. Make her part of not just your life but both your lives. Let your wife see her every day. Go off to spend time with your ex and leave your wife to baby sit your son.
It is not your fault you have feelings. Nor that you cant control them. But you have to understand that for yourself rather than it be told to you. Do you want to live another day with someone when you have feelings for someone else? Can you live with the decision to leave her all be it for the good of everyone involved?
You are asking for advice on what is best for you. I want you to ask your self what is best for your son. You two fucked this thing up Jr. so what does he get for it? You and your wifes problems arnt jack shit to what he faces depending on the choice you make right now. Why did you marry her if you knew she wasnt the one? Can you hear her cry herself to sleep for months wondering why she wasn’t enough for you. What is your answer to her if she asks Why? Will you stick around to find out or make a quick dash for the exit so you dont have to be thier for that? What about when you get with your ex or next marriage and fall out of love again?
I wont tell you to be a man like the others... You may not have been raised by one to know the difference. You may only know a man from a life of father figures and Bill Cosby. My point is...you may not know what that means just yet. This problem of yours may be how you learn to become a man, or maby the man you dont want to be. You have a wife and child and they didnt get to your house by magic stork and they dont leave that way either. Do the right thing. Only you know what the right thing is. Maby you stay together, or maby you dont, but you have to go down a tough road. You are not the first nor the last Jr.!
.gif "IP Gear")
