holy shit yet, MASSIVE changes in terms of how I am outside of the gym when cruising. Difference in physique is honestly not that dramatic, which is a surprise. I was blasting 750 test + other stuff then took 4 weeks off injecting (it's sustanon so pretty long clearing time) and just doing 150mg/wk now. I think I've been off my blast for 6 weeks now and I've got another 4 to go. This is the first time since 2017 I've gone to legit trt dosage, before my "cruise" was to just drop any compounds other than test, leave test around 500mg, and keep training super hard.
Here are some changes I'm noticing
1. I feel way more anxious and prone to overthinking on cruise dose. Much less confident and self assured. My gf does something I wouldn't even notice before and suddenly I'm overanalyzing every single word or body language assuming we're a pindrop away from breaking up or something.
2. My digestion is massively improved. 0 need for any antacids or ppis, which usually I take around twice per week and its okay.
3. When I feel anxious, bored, tired, or otherwise have any negative emotion, I reach for ice cream. When I'm blasting, I never do this. If I feel anxious or negative emotions, I want to go to the gym or do some cardio outdoors on my bicycle or masturbate/have sex and feel better. I even briefly considered drinking alcohol after about 6 months no booze, been wanting to quit permanently not for physical health reasons but because I think it's very unhealthy to reach for as a substance to feel better or to numb emotions that you're "supposed" to be feeling or to alleviate boredom.
Now on a cruise I suddenly understand normal people who go to junk food for psychological emotional comfort.. . Maybeit's not because they're week, it's just their brain chemistry compels them to find comfort in these ways and on steroids my brain chemistry compels me to do physically active things.
4. I feel far less cognitive reward for exercising. Of course I still like going to the gym and training, but it's not this amazing euphoric experience I'm looking forward to or thinking about all day like when I'm blasting hard.
5. Most surprisingly, almost no change in my day to day look and no change in libido. Moderately softer/smaller, but still decent vascularity, stil decent pumps.
I think a lot of us underestimate how much these chemicals are affecting our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. But I also think they're actually doing a lot of good in many cases. I remember seeing a paper looking at testosterone monotherapy for unipolar depression and it was more efficacious in a dose dependant response even up to 600mg/wk, which is well into bodybuilding dosages. They didn't try higher but I wouldn't be surprised if it became still more efficacious.
We demonize these drugs and talk about how they're going to kill you or give you alzheimers, but man in some cases I legitimately believe that being on AAS can actually improve men's mental health in some cases. Obviously not when blasting 500mg/wk of tren or whatever...