My current problems

[machola]

first cut is the deepest

happens to everyone man. its hell when you go through it but you'll get over it in time. if you're like most of us its gonna be on your mind for a while but it will fade. im glad you realize what you did was wrong. my only advice is this, accept it, forgive, focus on your school, talk to friends and family. it will take a while for the first two but you can start trying to focus on school and talking to close friends and family now. after you accept and forgive you'll be ready to meet a new girl. good luck alecaf

 

[cjjrwe]

What Steele said, you have to put it behind you.

All of us have been through break ups, at the time it is difficult to look beyond the person, but you have to.

You have to do what is best for you, and that is staying away from her and the guys she dates, and definately do not let anyone egg you on, you are not around for their enjoyment. Put her, and her friends behind you, and move on.

I had a hard break up many years ago, but not as bad, we just went our separate ways and separate lives a year or two after high school. I missed her for a while and it was difficult to get back in the game, but that is what you have to do.

BTW, a couple of years later I met my wife, we have two children now and have been married 15 years, she is the right person for me and I am glad how things worked out. Move on and enjoy dating, you will know the right woman when you meet her, she'll be the one who loves you and does not treat you like this person has. Good luck.

 

[alecaf]

guys i just have to say that every single one of the replies has helped me so much. I know i am learning a lot more self control thru this, i have lacked that in so many areas of my life and im getting it back. I have been with friends more and more and i fell a little bit better everyday that goes by. I just wish there was an instant cure for this pain. Thank you guys so much for the replies and the help you've given me, I really appreciate it. It feels good to know that people out there have gone thru the same or similar situations. The only thing i cant stand is rejection, and ive been getting my fair dose these past weeks. I guess after this ill overcome my insane fear towards it. And again guys thank you.

 

[Designbuilt]

Enjoy your youth, now that you have it and are single.

I had a bad break up when I was about 22, It hurt pretty bad, because I was alone in another country and didn't really have friends there, until I made some, they helped me get over it.

Now that I'm married and have a son, I think back about those years and really all of my 20's and miss everything, even the bad.

But mostly being single. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy being married, but I really love women.

Take what you can from this experience and move on, you should be happy, so that other guy got her, so what? You already had her, now get another and move on.

Just get over this and start enjoying being single and your youth again and work on yourself, I always made the best gains right after a breakup and I focused on making money, etc.

Good luck.

 

[FordTurboDiesel]

I wanted to add this. Some may disagree, but it will help...the both of you.

1. You have to be prepared to walk away and not look back. This won't be something your doing to get back with her.

2. Get a card. Apologize for how you acted and wish her the best with her Friend.

It may sound INSANE to do such a thing, but this is what it does.

1. It gives you the opportunity to apologize and admit what you did was nuts and you realize it. At the least. It should give you peace of mind that you adressed it and you can move on. If it were me, I would feel like it's something that's hanging over my head.
2. By wishing her well, as hard as it is to do it (...and she probably doesn't deserve it) it will let her know your prepared to move on with your life. WITHOUT HER.

What I am telling you to do has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with your own conscience. It will help you let go as well.

It's probably not the normal, "GUY" thing. It won't make you look tough, but it will give you a little peace that you reached out, admitted going nuts was wrong, and that your making the choice to move on. It's all about you right now.

Ive done it a couple times and it does work. If you did do something like this...keep it very short and to the point. Don't even THINK of getting into emotions. E

Remember!

Emotions don't think. Regardless of any emotion you allow to think with, chances are, it will get you into trouble.
Think of the crazy things people do out of love....out of hate and anger...out of depression...

Good luck.
Something else...
It's Spring with Summer right around the corner. You know how many chicks are gonna want to meet you?
They're everywhere in the summer.

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Alecaf..........I went through some things when I was 22.

I am a Christian and wanted to wait until I got married to have sex. I met a girl and felt like she was great. We had a lot in common and she was super athletic. I ended up having sex with her and was lost in that haze of desire. Long story short, I put up with a lot of stupid behavior because I felt too guilty about having sex with her to break it off. Plus, I really cared about her.

We broke up when I was student teaching. She ended up getting passed around by some of the guys on the basketball team and then wanted to come back to me. I couldn't even look at her the same. I treated her with respect and love and then all I could think about was how she threw that away. I was friends with some black dudes on the team and they used to laugh about the dumb, white, Montana girls who they boned for a while, until they moved back to Chicago or wherever.

She fucked a couple of those guys. Like I said, I couldn't even look at her the same. She approached me in the weight room once and demanded to know "what my problem was" when I wouldn't lift with her or return her calls.

I said, "why don't you go ask the guys on the team what my problems is?"....

After some more drama she ended up slugging me in the face. Now this girl was 5'10 , blond, could touch the rim, had hurdle records in high school and had been lifting with me for two years...had abs the whole shot...she cracked me one. This was in a crowded college weight room.

I have never, never, been one for any scene like that. Trust me when I say my embarrassment and rage where VOLCANIC. She had no problems creating such a scene.

I left saying I was wrong to have thougth so highly of her. She then tried to nail me again. Things went badly at that point and I slapped her. I've never laid a hand on a woman. It made me cry.

I wouldn't take her back no matter what and she stalked me and threatened to kill herself and take my life for the next two years. She threatened a new girlfriend I had as well.

My advice- Wash her from your life. Stop thinking about those promises and nice things she said. You made a mistake. Nothing wrong with that...we all do it. Some other girl is desperately looking for a man to feel that way about her.

That girl putting you on speaker phone....Man, I wouldn't have a bitch like that in my life. That other guy just got a snake. She revealed herself and be thankful she did.

In another 10....yes....ten years at 32 I found one who REALLY meant those things and in spite of the fact that I had decided to remain a bachelor for life, I cannot. Now, we are all human and unlike some...I believe love IS CONDITIONAL. There are some behaviors I will not tolerate in someone who says they love me and I would not expect them to stay with me if I decided to become an asshole either.

You will rise above this. You mentioned your morals. I am a spiritual person as well. Try the church. I like a woman who has a higher authority than herself and what she happens to "feel" that day.

That's my long story. Don't know if it helps, but I am GLAD that I didn't end up with a girl that would bone four guys on the basketball team and then come to me crying. Screw that.

 

[notsobig32]

I am a Christian and wanted to wait until I got married to have sex. I met a girl and felt like she was great. We had a lot in common and she was super athletic. I ended up having sex with her and was lost in that haze of desire. Long story short, I put up with a lot of stupid behavior because I felt too guilty about having sex with her to break it off. Plus, I really cared about her.

We broke up when I was student teaching. She ended up getting passed around by some of the guys on the basketball team and then wanted to come back to me. I couldn't even look at her the same. I treated her with respect and love and then all I could think about was how she threw that away. I was friends with some black dudes on the team and they used to laugh about the dumb, white, Montana girls who they boned for a while, until they moved back to Chicago or wherever.

She fucked a couple of those guys. Like I said, I couldn't even look at her the same. She approached me in the weight room once and demanded to know "what my problem was" when I wouldn't lift with her or return her calls.

I said, "why don't you go ask the guys on the team what my problems is?"....

After some more drama she ended up slugging me in the face. Now this girl was 5'10 , blond, could touch the rim, had hurdle records in high school and had been lifting with me for two years...had abs the whole shot...she cracked me one. This was in a crowded college weight room.

I have never, never, been one for any scene like that. Trust me when I say my embarrassment and rage where VOLCANIC. She had no problems creating such a scene.

I left saying I was wrong to have thougth so highly of her. She then tried to nail me again. Things went badly at that point and I slapped her. I've never laid a hand on a woman. It made me cry.

I wouldn't take her back no matter what and she stalked me and threatened to kill herself and take my life for the next two years. She threatened a new girlfriend I had as well.

My advice- Wash her from your life. Stop thinking about those promises and nice things she said. You made a mistake. Nothing wrong with that...we all do it. Some other girl is desperately looking for a man to feel that way about her.

That girl putting you on speaker phone....Man, I wouldn't have a bitch like that in my life. That other guy just got a snake. She revealed herself and be thankful she did.

In another 10....yes....ten years at 32 I found one who REALLY meant those things and in spite of the fact that I had decided to remain a bachelor for life, I cannot. Now, we are all human and unlike some...I believe love IS CONDITIONAL. There are some behaviors I will not tolerate in someone who says they love me and I would not expect them to stay with me if I decided to become an asshole either.

You will rise above this. You mentioned your morals. I am a spiritual person as well. Try the church. I like a woman who has a higher authority than herself and what she happens to "feel" that day.

That's my long story. Don't know if it helps, but I am GLAD that I didn't end up with a girl that would bone four guys on the basketball team and then come to me crying. Screw that.

Wow,

amazing story JT, i have to say that it gives me hope that one day i will find myself ina fully functional relatiionship=-)

thank you for sharing!!!

 

[JETHRO TULL]

I don't mean to totally make her out to be evil.

I was student teaching and stressed out. She was always demanding that I come see her or it meant I didn't love her.

So I broke it off with her and began seeing another girl.

This is when she went off the deep end and started the slutty behavior that I detested.

She may have chosen to get around but at least I can say she wasn't a cheater.

When I found out what she was doing, I won't lie, it hurt because I thought she was so much better than that as a person.

I threw it in her face when she was trying to approach me in the weight room that day and many times thereafter.

I probably shouldn't have done that, because I think it drove her over the edge. She showed up at my room once and clawed her own face....just made a claw of her hand and drug it from her forehead, down her nose, lips and chin. That was a little spooky.

Two years of stuff like that. I just shudder thinking about it even now.

My dad even said, "Jethro, it's a good thing you didn't end up with her, she might have gotten angry and drown your kids just to strike out at you."