Lost my wife...

Electromass · Jun 3, 2018

james caan said:
My wife as some here may know had been dealing with on going health issues, which was made worse by her diabetes. My wife was a lifelong type 1 diabetic, and towards the end her diabetes seemed to be more, and more out of control with constant highs and lows. She had been losing a lot of weight, and didn't have any sort of appetite. She was pale, face started sinking in, and she needed a walker to get around. I loved her so much that I didn't care, I was there for her no matter what! I didn't care how skinny she looked, I didn't care that used a walker, I didn't care that she started to need to wear an adult diaper..
Because she was the love of my life. Two weeks ago I was leaving for work, and I got her some ice water (she was always thirsty), she said how cold it was.. She told me she loved me, to drive safely, and to have a nice day at work..12 hours later she was dead. I can't explain with words how much pain I am feeling. I'm blaming myself for not being home when she needed me. I feel like maybe if I were there, I would of noticed something sooner, and could of saved her life. At
this point I just want my life to end, so I can be with her again. I see no more point on going on. I know I shouldn't think this way, and people tell me how loved I am, and to stay strong...but how do you stay strong, when the love of your life, is dead at 42. I'm just lost, I don't know any more, I don't know what to do.

Very sorry to hear about this bro...it’s something I think about the older I get.
You have my condolences.

JBMuscle · Jun 21, 2018

Will be praying for you brother. I am so sorry to hear this.

bigbreads80 · Jun 21, 2018

No words can ease your pain. Just try to remember- if you end it now, you will NOT be with her. That's my belief anyways. You will be going to a very different place, far away from her. Live your life now for her and make her proud. You dont want to end it not being the man she loved. There is no peace in that. I dont know her, but I'm willing to bet she wants you to he happy her. How you live your life from here on out is how you honor her memory .

Thaistick · Jun 22, 2018

That's horrible and I hate that you are in so much pain. She obviously knew you love her and would want the best for you. It will get better, it may take a long time, but it will. You won't forget her or the love you have for her. Take care of yourself and seek counseling, please.

D2 · Jun 23, 2018

Deepest condolences... Stay strong bro!

j4ever · Jun 27, 2018

Truly sorry for your loss brother, I am more than sure that your wife would want you to live a long happy life, stay strong my friend and keep your head up, hopefully you will be back to update us.

sora · Aug 8, 2019

my condolences,everything will be better.

maldorf · Sep 9, 2019

How are you now?

I see you posted on another thread on 7-30. I hope you are doing ok and recovering somewhat emotionally. Do you have kids too?

I hope that the days and night are getting better for you and that you feel like she knew just how much you loved her. The fact that you were out working hard to support her means a lot, and you were just doing what had to be done.

12high · Sep 23, 2019

My condolences brother. Horrible. I dont post alot on here but I kinda know what you're going thru and there's no easy way around this. I can relate somewhat and the pain is incredible. Hang in there and take each day, one by one and keep pushing. As stated above, I also hope you are ok.

Syndicate · Sep 23, 2019

Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling, but remember that your wife would wish you the best and that the struggle of life is worth living with her memory continuing forward.

Cherish the moments you had with her.

Cherish life and fragility inherent in it.

Grab life and run with it.

Its hard right now, but it will fade and make you stronger, don't punish yourself with what if scenarios. The reality is that life is what it is, for better or worse.

felixx · Oct 1, 2019

So sorry for your loss. Read this article earlier and I remembered this message after reading your post: "The memory of people we love becomes a treasure when they are gone. Treasures are valuable, keep them safe." I don't know how it is losing someone you love like that, but I hope you do have other loved ones to help you through this painful time.