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Lost my wife...

james caan

Well-known member
Nov 27, 2007
My wife as some here may know had been dealing with on going health issues, which was made worse by her diabetes. My wife was a lifelong type 1 diabetic, and towards the end her diabetes seemed to be more, and more out of control with constant highs and lows. She had been losing a lot of weight, and didn't have any sort of appetite. She was pale, face started sinking in, and she needed a walker to get around. I loved her so much that I didn't care, I was there for her no matter what! I didn't care how skinny she looked, I didn't care that used a walker, I didn't care that she started to need to wear an adult diaper..
Because she was the love of my life. Two weeks ago I was leaving for work, and I got her some ice water (she was always thirsty), she said how cold it was.. She told me she loved me, to drive safely, and to have a nice day at work..12 hours later she was dead. I can't explain with words how much pain I am feeling. I'm blaming myself for not being home when she needed me. I feel like maybe if I were there, I would of noticed something sooner, and could of saved her life. At this point I just want my life to end, so I can be with her again. I see no more point on going on. I know I shouldn't think this way, and people tell me how loved I am, and to stay strong...but how do you stay strong, when the love of your life, is dead at 42. I'm just lost, I don't know any more, I don't know what to do.
Brother, words can not express how sorry I am for your loss. I can only imagine the grief you are now feeling and how difficult it must be to get through each hour. Please do not give up on life. Your wife would not want you to. If you do believe in God and an Afterlife, then have faith that one day you will again be reunited with your mate. But it has to be at a time of God's choosing not your own. Please cling to family and friends during this difficult time and do not hesitate to see counseling, pastoral or otherwise. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers as I am sure many of your other brothers on Pro-Muscle will also. If possible, be grateful for the time you had together and find comfort knowing that she is now with the Lord and will be with you once again. My deepest condolences.

your brother in Christ,


PS Ask the Lord to help you, He will not desert you in your time of need.
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend and wife! I can’t imagine what sorrow you are going through. Just remember that your wife loves you more then anything and she wouldn’t want you to end it ! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! RIP

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So sorry to hear that. That is so sad to hear that. I will be praying for you and hope God eases some of that pain.
Please don't harm yourself. It won't bring her back and will only add to the pain your family is experiencing. The sun will shine tomorrow and it will hurt less with time. Just take it one minute, hour, or day at a time.

You have my sincere condolences and remember you're not alone in this.
So sorry brother! I have had alot of loss in my life. Be strong, your in my thoughts
I'm so sorry for your loss. Time will help heal your pain. Please honor her by living a full and rich life and keeping her in your heart and mind.

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Sorry man. I can't begin to undertand your pain. Her suffering is over. She is in a better place.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss. Death is something which will can child someones life in a second. Words won't help bring her back, but I promise you she wants you to keep living. You owe it to yourself and her. Yes, the days and nights will be painful, but overtime, you will heal. I've been there with the loss of someone very close to me.

Just remember, one days at time. Right now you are in a fragile state of mind. Just don't do anything you wouldn't normally due under normal circumstances.

Do you have a support system? Please keep us posted, don't want you to feel like you are all alone.
Sorry to hear.
Just know she's not suffering anymore
damn man.. sorry for your loss.

you dis the best you could have done....the best anyone could have done

she died knowing that without a doubt, you loved her more than anything else

take comfort in that, brother
Very sorry to hear this. My condolences.

Your wife would want you to continue living a happy life while keeping her in your memories; remember that.

I don't think the pain ever goes away, but her happy memories will overshadow the pain over time.

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Im so sorry to hear this .. God has you here for a reason give him a chance to show you . Take care
Very sorry to hear. You did everything you could and that's what matters.

That or losing a child would be one of the most difficult things to deal with I feel. You will get through it though!
sorry for your loss and don't blame yourself for not being home... I hope this doesn't sound cruel, because I don't mean it that way, but sounds a little bit harsh in my head... But had you been home and lets say saved her or whatever, she would most likely just be suffering and getting worse; so most likely you would've slightly delayed the inevitable...

That said, at least you can take comfort in knowing that she's no longer suffering. Just do you best to stay positive and stay strong, giving in won't do her any good and it certainly won't do you any good...

Just stay strong, pray, meditate or do whatever it is you do, when you need to find strength and you'll get through this... If you end your life, you'll just cause more suffering to those around you and you know you don't want that, you're too compassionate of a person...
This is unconditional love. Please stay strong; losing someone you love is not easy; it hurts; it’s depressing but think of how happy she wants you to be. she loves you and appreciates everything you did for her. she wants you to live and have the life she never had, I salute you my man for being there and supporting her. You’re a real man..

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Sorry to hear about your wife. She's in better hands now and not suffering. You can't blame yourself, it will drive you insane. Yes your gonna be in a slump for a little while and depressed. I've been there and many have. Don't let it discourage you. Look at old photos and relive teh memories you two shared together. Yes it's gonna make you cry and feel a certain way. It's normal and all part of the grieving process, let it all out.

Lastly, don't harm yourself. You've have a whole band of bros here by your side Feel free to reach out to me in a PM and we can exchange numbers if you need to talk. If not me , someone else on here or turn to a professional for counseling. My heart goes out to you
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and those who knew and loved your wife. I can't imagine or pretend to know the loss and shock that you feel right now.

But I do know this, she would want nothing more than for you to be happy and live your life to the fullest as if she was right there with you! She wouldn't want to feel sad, empty, or depressed. She would want you to enjoy every second of everyday to the fullest!

What you did for her and the unconditional love that you gave her are truly inspirational and she was blessed to have you to take care of her. I'm sure that she was very grateful to have you taking care of her and I know that had to make her happy and ease her pain tremendously during that time. She knew that she was loved by a dedicated husband and passed knowing that she was loved and appreciated! The care, dedication, and love that you gave her are what all of us would want and hope for from someone.

Going forward, DON'T ALLOW the depressing, condemning, or saddening thoughts to rule your mind! That is NOT who you are! But instead, think only on the GREAT, FUN, HAPPY, and FULFILLING times and memories that you had together! Keep your mind on those happy times and on the GREAT, EXCITING, and FULFILLING LIFE that is ahead for you! That is who you are and that is what she would want you to do and who she would want you to be!

You are not alone brother, we are with you! God is with you and for you!

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