O/T For Those That Read my Parasite Cleanse May Get A Kick Outta This

[xcelbeyond]

Can anyone relate to these?

Ghost Poopie:
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie:
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie:
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie:
This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie:
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Poopie:
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Poopie:
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Poopie:
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Poopie:
Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie:
The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie:
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump):
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid Poopie:
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie:
It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Poopie:
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!!
The Dangling Poopie:
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

 

[xcelbeyond]

In my parasite cleanse post, I was referring to the Spinal Tap Poopie!

 

[jerrywear]

AND THAT WAS FUNNY.

YOU DA MAN

 

[Tempest]

Clean Poopie:
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
.

Usuallly with the clean poopie you get no splash either, perfect entry. It's like scoring a 10 in a diving competition!

Temp

 

[Kahn]

There are the pasties where you wipe until you consider going in your ass to get it clean so you can stop wiping. There is the anaconda that is one solid turn so long it went over the S trap on its own and is gone. You have the fearsome backsplash that shoots about a c of cold bowl water directly on the anus and it slams shut so hard its uncomfortable because you were not done. I hate the curlies that go straight into the butt hair and you know the rest(gotta wash that ass). Sometimes the rooster is cool. It flies out your ass with pressure and does nothing because its all water. Kinda leaves you dumbfounded. Was that really a shit? There are the normal, when the fuck did I eat that shits that are funny. Before these low volume flushing units came out, you really had something to be proud of if you shit so much it broke the water level. Nowadays its no big deal. The unprepared turtle heads are terrifying. Thats when you think its a fart and a turd bum rushes the asshole and slams into it but only the turtle heads makes it out. Then it feels like a table leg. Sometimes you get concerned when you push one out and it stops, then it comes more like its getting formed as it goes and you have to wait. It puzzles you to the point you have to check it out and you see the rest rings around it. Things that make you go hmmmm. My personal favorite is the freight train. Its over before you know it and you're clean as a whistle.

 

[Paul Bunyan]

Kahn you are one sick bastard! But you made me laugh so it's all good.

PB

 

[Ang]

Theres the ever classic cousin to "pop a vein in your forehead" the pop a vein in your anus dump damn hemroids

 

[Kahn]

Oh theres more but I can't remember all my shit categories. I do it because it makes people uptight. I talk about sex, rubbing one off and farts and anything gross. Then I make fun of the pussies that get running their mouths about it being gross. I think a flabby ass or a gut is worse(unless you're bulking of course). Farting is cool though. I tell people you can know whats going on inside by the way they smell. Then I warn them not to go fart sniffing but pay attention to their own. I think they go fart sniffing though. Sick fuckers.

 

[xcelbeyond]

It's only gotten worse

Today I went from spinal tap to let's try and give birth! We went far beyond lincoln log, more like a full grown Pacific NW Douglas Fir. I wasn't worried about popping a vein in the forehead - more like don't have a heat attack

It took me 10 minutes of using the plunger to get it unstuck. I really DIDN'T want to call the plumber. What do you tell them the problem is? I just gave birth to a record size tree?!?

 

[Kahn]

Thats where the bodubuilding mentality went against you. You know the mind muscle connection? You have to have the mind colon connection with visualization techniques working for the Sequoia(sp?) shit. Watching lamaz(sp?) classes on TV help me through these. Its all about breathing and knowing when to push.