PROM SHOUT OUT!!! TELL ME SOMETHING I DONT KNOW

[VNV]

I don't really know anyone on here but this part of the forum really entertains me (for lack of better words). I appreciate the pseudo support I read.

I'm bored with my job, but fear the excessive responsibility a new job would require of me. I've been here a while and it's comfortable.. Pay is whatever.. I'm a Unix admin by trade.

I love my wife, but I'm not in love. I can't be with her, can't be without her. We don't agree on anything other than we love our children (6 and 1.5). Different opinions on raising them, religion, politics, life, chores, everything.. We've agreed to disagree.. Two counselors said we should just go our separate ways. Till death do us part, man of word, word of honor. We married young at 18, had a baby, typical hardships associated with this type of life. I feel good about being here, I feel good that she hasn't had to work a day since we said "I do". I've done some things that I don't consider wrong, but she has a way of making me feel guilty about it. We split up for good..again..now we're back at it..again. I was mostly the issue until this last breakup, but since we've been back it seems she isn't all there. I'm not worried about another dude, I mean she is emotionally not there. But now I'm back and thinking WTF do I do now? I'm not really happy, but it's better than not being with my baby girls. I don't even know where to start to dissect the root cause of my problem.. But life didn't suck till 2nd-3rd year of marriage.

Money is becoming a problem. I'm not greedy but I feel I live VERY modest and yet don't have enough to do what I want. I can't save for my kids college, I can't go out to a nice dinner whenever I want. I can't even afford to overdraft. I was lucky to get into this line of work.. Every time I get an idea to make money it involves some sort of illegal activity, I usually follow through with the plan 75% of the time.

I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and I smoke about 3-5 grams of quality MJ a day. I hate it, it eats at me all day every day. I'm always worried about the consequences and the effects it has on me. Cigarettes make me hurt, physically. I quit for a few months and feel great and end up falling off and starting again, few months later im back to the aches. I think MJ has an affect on hormonal response, due to my previous heavy use all throughout my early teens til present my T is affected. I have a lot of symptoms for low T..

Sometimes I wish I could just reset my life and start over or at least to start back at 2000.

The same constant nag to quit, I have equal internal persistence for getting big. Like when I quit, I fall off. I start the gym, and end up having something force me to miss and then im out of my routine.. I still do a lot of learning but damned if I practice what I preach. Heh I even trained a friends fiance for her wedding and she would talk soo much shit how I would take cigarette breaks and only work out one of the days I would help her. Not that I look like I even know anything about training and nutrition. It wasn't that I didn't want to lift. I was there to help her and then I had to get back to my life.

I don't know if its depression, lack of commitment, starting life so early, lack of life experience...i'm 25 and burned out. I go with the motions so my kids needs are met, they are my rhyme and reason.

I have more to say but I guess I'm bored of beating myself up.

She should be working, and should have been all along. You're doing a disservice to your kids by not amassing as much wealth as possible, even if you makes you feel like a better man, like a provider, if she doesn't work. Have her work the weekends while you're home with the kids, or put them in daycare for a day or two a week while she works.

If you're smoking that many cigarettes and that much weed, you are NOT living modestly, and you CAN save money for your kids' college. Try to cut down to half a pack. Have her ration your cigarettes for you. And jesus man, cut your weed in half too--only a dub-sack a day. Don't go all out and try to completely quit at this point, you'll probably just fail. Shoot for a reduction.

I enjoyed reading your post though. Good luck with everyone.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I don't really know anyone on here but this part of the forum really entertains me (for lack of better words). I appreciate the pseudo support I read.

I'm bored with my job, but fear the excessive responsibility a new job would require of me. I've been here a while and it's comfortable.. Pay is whatever.. I'm a Unix admin by trade.

I love my wife, but I'm not in love. I can't be with her, can't be without her. We don't agree on anything other than we love our children (6 and 1.5). Different opinions on raising them, religion, politics, life, chores, everything.. We've agreed to disagree.. Two counselors said we should just go our separate ways. Till death do us part, man of word, word of honor. We married young at 18, had a baby, typical hardships associated with this type of life. I feel good about being here, I feel good that she hasn't had to work a day since we said "I do". I've done some things that I don't consider wrong, but she has a way of making me feel guilty about it. We split up for good..again..now we're back at it..again. I was mostly the issue until this last breakup, but since we've been back it seems she isn't all there. I'm not worried about another dude, I mean she is emotionally not there. But now I'm back and thinking WTF do I do now? I'm not really happy, but it's better than not being with my baby girls. I don't even know where to start to dissect the root cause of my problem.. But life didn't suck till 2nd-3rd year of marriage.

Money is becoming a problem. I'm not greedy but I feel I live VERY modest and yet don't have enough to do what I want. I can't save for my kids college, I can't go out to a nice dinner whenever I want. I can't even afford to overdraft. I was lucky to get into this line of work.. Every time I get an idea to make money it involves some sort of illegal activity, I usually follow through with the plan 75% of the time.

I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and I smoke about 3-5 grams of quality MJ a day. I hate it, it eats at me all day every day. I'm always worried about the consequences and the effects it has on me. Cigarettes make me hurt, physically. I quit for a few months and feel great and end up falling off and starting again, few months later im back to the aches. I think MJ has an affect on hormonal response, due to my previous heavy use all throughout my early teens til present my T is affected. I have a lot of symptoms for low T..

Sometimes I wish I could just reset my life and start over or at least to start back at 2000.

The same constant nag to quit, I have equal internal persistence for getting big. Like when I quit, I fall off. I start the gym, and end up having something force me to miss and then im out of my routine.. I still do a lot of learning but damned if I practice what I preach. Heh I even trained a friends fiance for her wedding and she would talk soo much shit how I would take cigarette breaks and only work out one of the days I would help her. Not that I look like I even know anything about training and nutrition. It wasn't that I didn't want to lift. I was there to help her and then I had to get back to my life.

I don't know if its depression, lack of commitment, starting life so early, lack of life experience...i'm 25 and burned out. I go with the motions so my kids needs are met, they are my rhyme and reason.

I have more to say but I guess I'm bored of beating myself up.

So is it safe to say that you are a pot-smoking stoner in a poor state of health both physically and probably emotionally (because of your own drug use) and that you don't have the balls to make a difference in your own pathetic life for the sake of your childrens' future?

If you're a Unix admin then you are not stupid. If you care as you say about your children then you are not heartless. I think you are probably run down and showing signs of depression because you are using a depressant every day. All that said though... why are you even on this board? This board is for athletes and competitors and people who are looking to better their health. What are you going to do here? Post an article on how to roll the worlds greatest joint?

I'm glad you found some entertainment here but this is the wrong board for you. You need to go to absinthe.com or something like that.

Either that or pull your head out of your ass. You think your kids aren't going to eventually pick up on this stuff? They hear and see clearer than adults. What is your behavior teaching them? You think they won't adopt some of the complete lack of enthusiasm you show? I know some computer scientists and not one of them is a "Unix admin by trade". That's a professional position not a trade. They all are good at setting up Unix boxes, be it Sun Solaris, SCO, or whatever but they do more than that. Maybe you should too. Setup a NAS box for on or offsite deduplication or something. Anything would be a start but this is a bodybuilding board, Chiba.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

So i'm going to wash my face off now, the booty cheddar smell is getting to me. It's a new day. Fuck the uncontrollable smoking of cigarettes, fuck the abuse of pot. Smile for fucks sake. Tell em I love em. Get my ass back on routine. I know what I need to do, if I truly want to be happy. Heh..u said SCO.

/action jackson

I hope you do. That would be great to watch. It would be great for your family and you personally as well. I wish you the best.

You're sig says "Last Man on Earth" - Time to start living up to that.

 

[nosmas]

Not to go O/T but........

You are ALL my friends. I love this board and all on it. A special shout out to Aqua and Buff...The girls are holding this place up on there shoulders right now without a doubt.
I have brought many feelings to the board, And sometimes, maby more often than not, they have been in the wrong place and time. Ouch works hard to keep this a forum of positive outcomes to often negative situations we ALL face and relate to. He deserves our thanks in more than words can express.
Myself personally. I need to take some time off from the boards in my current state and come back when I am strong like my ProMuscle brothers and Sisters. I have so many friends who have my back. I take you all with me every day in my heart and mind. I think about the things you have said, believe me I do.
I trust you all more than anyone I know in my daily life. So I ask your forgiveness for sharing off topics.
Thank you for being my friends and family. Thank you for taking care of me, regardless of my many faults. Thank you for watching out for me and keeping me in line. I hope to make my next post in a state of calm, ready, confident, focused, and positive state of mind.
I love you all my dear friends........
CHEERS!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

You are ALL my friends. I love this board and all on it. A special shout out to Aqua and Buff...The girls are holding this place up on there shoulders right now without a doubt.
I have brought many feelings to the board, And sometimes, maby more often than not, they have been in the wrong place and time. Ouch works hard to keep this a forum of positive outcomes to often negative situations we ALL face and relate to. He deserves our thanks in more than words can express.
Myself personally. I need to take some time off from the boards in my current state and come back when I am strong like my ProMuscle brothers and Sisters. I have so many friends who have my back. I take you all with me every day in my heart and mind. I think about the things you have said, believe me I do.
I trust you all more than anyone I know in my daily life. So I ask your forgiveness for sharing off topics.
Thank you for being my friends and family. Thank you for taking care of me, regardless of my many faults. Thank you for watching out for me and keeping me in line. I hope to make my next post in a state of calm, ready, confident, focused, and positive state of mind.
I love you all my dear friends........
CHEERS!

Well all that certainly sounded good. Tell me, do you actually believe the above or do you just expect us to buy it? Nosmas, either you have an unbelievable amount of wit and charm or you are just pathetic enough that people can't help but to continue to rescue your sorry ass like some puppy dog trapped in a burning building. 'Cause, let's face it - most intelligent individuals would have jumped ship on you a long time ago. But you still have a group of people rallying for you: this little cult following. Why is that do you think?

When I read the above, I think I know why. Bullshit. Plain and simple bullshit. You stroke someone a bit, give them a nice scoop of self-deprecation, apologize and give thanks profusely, and then sprinkle on a little comradery to boot ("...situations we ALL face") and everyone says, "Awww, let's help nosmas! The POOR GUY..."

Yes, I do try sometimes to keep things positive in here but I can't take credit. With genuinely good people, you can usually expect good outcomes - even in bad situations. However, a good person though you may be, nosmas, your situation is not a normal situaton. It's not the day-to-day headaches everyone experiences ("...situations we ALL face"). But given what I've already said, I see a positive outcome here with you for the reasons I mentioned above.

But please just don't insult my intelligence with your sappy, drippy, woe-is-me, bullshit because I just don't buy it. There's only one way you can show the people who care about you that you love them and yourself and that is with results. Anything else is just fluff.

Of course, you still run some risk either way because some people are just aching to save a cute little puppy from a burning building but what will they do when you get yourself straight and are just another dog like the rest of us?

...if you're lucky, some of them just might lose interest.

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

wow, OTH, the last few post of your's have blown me away dude. You're kickin ass and not taking any names...damn, I like the straight forward no BS approach you've been giving in the last couple post.

I'm about to make a post just so you can straighten my ass out some more lol.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

wow, OTH, the last few post of your's have blown me away dude. You're kickin ass and not taking any names...damn, I like the straight forward no BS approach you've been giving in the last couple post.

I'm about to make a post just so you can straighten my ass out some more lol.

Have you ever observed the behavior of a child on a high dive for the first time? I remember my son when he was five. Pacing back and forth. He knew there was no climbing back down that ladder with honor and he knew that overcoming his fear and jumping into that pool would be fun and exciting. So first you say, "Aaawww, it's fine, you're tough! You can do it. You love the water! Think how much fun it will be!" Of course, my girl is saying, "You don't have to jump! I'll help you down if you want! It's okaaaay..." But then, after a few agonizing minutes go by, you have too strip away all the emotional crap and say, "You didn't climb up that ladder to NOT jump off that board. Kid if you don't jump off that board, I'm coming up there and throwing you off!"

*SPLASH*

And now the smile on his face when he surfaced is burned into me forever. I can see it like I was watching it right now. Like a movie in my head. Now we go to the pool and see who can get 1 and 1/2's and doubles and gainers... it's sick!

Do you understand what I'm saying?

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

Have you ever observed the behavior of a child on a high dive for the first time? I remember my son when he was five. Pacing back and forth. He knew there was no climbing back down that ladder with honor and he knew that overcoming his fear and jumping into that pool would be fun and exciting. So first you say, "Aaawww, it's fine, you're tough! You can do it. You love the water! Think how much fun it will be!" Of course, my girl is saying, "You don't have to jump! I'll help you down if you want! It's okaaaay..." But then, after a few agonizing minutes go by, you have too strip away all the emotional crap and say, "You didn't climb up that ladder to NOT jump off that board. Kid if you don't jump off that board, I'm coming up there and throwing you off!"

*SPLASH*

And now the smile on his face when he surfaced is burned into me forever. I can see it like I was watching it right now. Like a movie in my head. Now we go to the pool and see who can get 1 and 1/2's and doubles and gainers... it's sick!

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yup I know exactly what you're saying. My daughter was scared to death of roller coasters and at first wouldn't get on it, we waited in line for like 20 minutes, then when we go to get on the coaster, she panics and says "no, i dont wanna get on now."

I *knew* she would like it, so I made her get on, throughout the ride she was holding onto my arm for dear life, after it was over, i look at her and she said "I wanna get on again!"

So I know exactly what you mean. Now she's waiting until she's 2-3 inches taller to get on the SuperMan one.

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Of course, my girl is saying, "You don't have to jump! I'll help you down if you want! It's okaaaay..." But then, after a few agonizing minutes go by, you have too strip away all the emotional crap and say, "You didn't climb up that ladder to NOT jump off that board. Kid if you don't jump off that board, I'm coming up there and throwing you off!"

It's interesting how much paternal and maternal instincts differ.

 

[oldfella]

It's interesting how much paternal and maternal instincts differ.

Now here's a topic that would make for interesting discussion. Not only paternal and maternal but simply male and female also. I think as males we tend to look at situation of potential danger a bit differently. Throughout history males have traditionally been the risk takers and females the more cautious approach. As men we do tend to borderline reckless from time to time in some of our antics. Women on the other hand tend sit sit back and then when it goes wrong they come in with "See I told you it was dangerous". "But you would'nt listen" LOL. I agree with OTH. Sometimes we all need a little push or more like a giant shove!!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

It's interesting how much paternal and maternal instincts differ.

It is different, but you have to be careful. Can you imagine in the diving board analogy, if my son were a daughter? It may have been my girl or wife saying "Don't be such a baby!" to her, with me saying, "It's okay sweetie, daddy will come get you."

So you see, it gets even more complicated. It would take a few volumes I'm afraid to tackle that monster. But fire away if you have an opinion! I'm really enjoying this thread. I hope you all see from some of the former posts that much of this is very cyclical. From Lmoe, to nosmas, to the story of my son. I hope you all see parallels in these stories/posts. For instance:

1. A person with a problem (fear, drugs, lack of motivation, whatever)
2. An enabler (someone bailing them out, "It's okay, you don't have to jump!" , "I don't care about the drugs, I still love you.")
3. The person with the problem NEEDs the enabler.
4. The enabler NEEDs the person with the problem.
5. Do people conciously or unconsciously screw themselves up on purpose so that someone will rescue them? All the time. They may not even know why - saying something like, "Why do I keep doing that?!?"
6. Do they feel valued and loved when someone rescues them? Sure.
7. Does the rescuer need to rescue someone? You bet.
8. Does the rescuer find some kind of worth in that act? You see where I'm going?
9. What happens when the person just doesn't need rescued anymore? People do things all the time to perpetuate this type of relationship. Sometimes to the point of criminal behavior.

Play these questions out in your mind and you will see that some relationships are very twisted (maybe even some of our own ). Sometimes it seems like a single person is having problems but in reality you can have many people with issues contributing to a problem. It seems awful to say that someone actually doesn't really want someone to get better but there it is. If that person actually does get better, "What if they don't need me anymore?" Parents, siblings, spouses, friends... We are all guilty of this at times. Because we all want and need to be loved. In fact we need it before our brains tell us we need it. We may think we know why we are doing something all the time but sometimes we have agendas and motivations that maybe we don't even know about. What all this leads to is environment and that's even another volume.

 

[hngrygrl]

OUCH!, ouch. I see what you are saying.

Because we all want and need to be loved. In fact we need it before our brains tell us we need it. We may think we know why we are doing something all the time but sometimes we have agendas and motivations that maybe we don't even know about. What all this leads to is environment and that's even another volume

 

[OuchThatHurts]

OUCH!, ouch. I see what you are saying.

LOL... whoops... after I typed that, I thought, "On NO!!!" hngry's gonna think I'm talking about her. I wasn't but nevertheless, all of us should continually examine our motives with deep consideration.

 

[hngrygrl]

very true. I once had a counselor last year ask me to really think about what I was getting out of my marriage. Was it taking care of someone and then holding it over their head? Was it being a martyr over past issues? was it just holding issues over ppls heads? or was it really love?

This is a great thread.

if it was my child I would either
1. say, its okay honey, you can climb down the ladder.
or
2. swim underneath the board and tell them that I would catch them if they would jump

I had a nurse tell me today that most ppl who work in health care can be terrible enablers. We want to take care of ppl and baby them. I'm very guilty.

I asked a person at work about good inspirational "self" books and she suggested "self matters" by Dr. phil. YOu guys have any suggestions??
TIA!
Lindsay----I'm not hungry right now, my mommy just cooked me nearly a lb of bacon and fried up some eggs. I'm stuffedgrl right now!! I LOOVE visiting the parents!!

 

[buffbabeca]

very true. I once had a counselor last year ask me to really think about what I was getting out of my marriage. Was it taking care of someone and then holding it over their head? Was it being a martyr over past issues? was it just holding issues over ppls heads? or was it really love?

This is a great thread.

if it was my child I would either
1. say, its okay honey, you can climb down the ladder.
or
2. swim underneath the board and tell them that I would catch them if they would jump

I had a nurse tell me today that most ppl who work in health care can be terrible enablers. We want to take care of ppl and baby them. I'm very guilty.

I asked a person at work about good inspirational "self" books and she suggested "self matters" by Dr. phil. YOu guys have any suggestions??
TIA!
Lindsay----I'm not hungry right now, my mommy just cooked me nearly a lb of bacon and fried up some eggs. I'm stuffedgrl right now!! I LOOVE visiting the parents!!

Linds - I HIGHLY recommend "your best life now" by Joel Osteen

 

[nosmas]

please don't insult my intelligence

Agreed!

Hungry is a BIG fan of the Godfather movies as am I. We change different quotes we call our favorites about once every few months. As it happens, this has been her favorite line for the last couple of weeks. I bet you put the biggest smile on her face with what you said.
At the time of writing my post, I felt it sincere and neccessary out of guilt. Looking back now, with a clear head and more focus. I believe you to be correct in you reply.
I am not ashamed to addmit I am only two hours out of a mental health facility I voluntarily entered. I stayed three days.
During one evaluation, this board came up once. I was asked what help I had reached out for in recent times. I mentioned the board. A serious disscussion inssued about if I should or should not continue on the board. The therapists reasoning was that although good intentioned (this forum in particular), it is still a "cult" (your words) that had an involvment in drugs (I had not the time to explain his narrow perspective and his lack of understanding that the sport, not the drugs was the common ground here). I was at first defensive and angry. "they are my peers you speak of sir!" but his point (and you must admit there is a paradox here) was in a way valid. He did not bash the board, only the concern that my involvment personaly is still a participation with a certain type of drug culture and therefore a possible trigger and or gateway if you will that I could use as a reference in terms of "well if I use this, the other is no big deal"
Then, his therapy session ended and he began to question me about AAS. He expressed an interest in bodybuilding. He stated he approved of hrt and was interested in knowing how to go about explaining to his doctor in an effective way to obtain a script. Do the injections hurt? he asked. Then he asked what worked best in terms of combinations. Then more specific questions like "have you ever heard of EQ?" "do you believe it to be effective?" Before long I got the picture. He needed a source. He told me familiar names of gym owners in the city known to use and or have association with people who can get AAS. He wanted to know how I got them. I would not tell him anything about obtainment or my own personal use, which fustrated him. I also would not name the board. I tried often to change the subject but he returned to the issue constantly. At that point...I requested a different therapist. He was difficult with my progress from then on. The prick was hittin me up for a source. I KNOW he was not trying to narc....he was hittin me up! I am sure of it. Thank god for such professionals.
Beyond that, the experience was difficult...but positive. I feel much better overall for it.
Anyway, OUCH. I am a bull shit artist at times. I believed what I was saying to be the right thing, but the underlying reasons are for sure as you said. Not so much for someone to save me. But for sure for the board members to not hold feelings AGAINST me, which was just as bad of a reason as the one you mentioned which in and of itself holds many truths.
Truth is what it needs to be about for me from here on in terms of the board and also in general with me. No more bull shit. It has been seen through by all of the members who know me. You. Oldfella. et al. Some of the smart ones have givin up on me already. You have been brutaly honest with me and I should in turn be honest with my posts.
Anyway,
cheers for now!

 

[OrDieTrying]

It is different, but you have to be careful. Can you imagine in the diving board analogy, if my son were a daughter? It may have been my girl or wife saying "Don't be such a baby!" to her, with me saying, "It's okay sweetie, daddy will come get you."

So you see, it gets even more complicated. It would take a few volumes I'm afraid to tackle that monster. But fire away if you have an opinion! I'm really enjoying this thread. I hope you all see from some of the former posts that much of this is very cyclical. From Lmoe, to nosmas, to the story of my son. I hope you all see parallels in these stories/posts. For instance:

1. A person with a problem (fear, drugs, lack of motivation, whatever)
2. An enabler (someone bailing them out, "It's okay, you don't have to jump!" , "I don't care about the drugs, I still love you.")
3. The person with the problem NEEDs the enabler.
4. The enabler NEEDs the person with the problem.
5. Do people conciously or unconsciously screw themselves up on purpose so that someone will rescue them? All the time. They may not even know why - saying something like, "Why do I keep doing that?!?"
6. Do they feel valued and loved when someone rescues them? Sure.
7. Does the rescuer need to rescue someone? You bet.
8. Does the rescuer find some kind of worth in that act? You see where I'm going?
9. What happens when the person just doesn't need rescued anymore? People do things all the time to perpetuate this type of relationship. Sometimes to the point of criminal behavior.

Play these questions out in your mind and you will see that some relationships are very twisted (maybe even some of our own ). Sometimes it seems like a single person is having problems but in reality you can have many people with issues contributing to a problem. It seems awful to say that someone actually doesn't really want someone to get better but there it is. If that person actually does get better, "What if they don't need me anymore?" Parents, siblings, spouses, friends... We are all guilty of this at times. Because we all want and need to be loved. In fact we need it before our brains tell us we need it. We may think we know why we are doing something all the time but sometimes we have agendas and motivations that maybe we don't even know about. What all this leads to is environment and that's even another volume.

To respond to the first part of your post.. I treat my daughters like you treat your son. Reason is I have no son, they don't have a big brother, I raised my little sister and she is tough as nails or at least it seems.

The second part of your post really struck me. It got me thinking about my relationship as a whole. For the last few years until these last few weeks i've been thinking about MY problem. Now looking back on it, my wife is probably much more unhappy than she leads me to believe. I don't know where to even go with this because we've been on and off so many times this past year that I think bringing up all the crap again is going to cause a meltdown.

I don't know if you read a few posts up, but I made a decision. I have curbed my recreational use from heavy to moderate. At the rate this week is going I've burned less buds this week than I normally do on a Monday. My cutting of ties was unlinking myself from people I do related business with. I actually got new responsibilities at work due to a co-worker leaving and it's making for new stuff to work on (though simple, it is new) and less time to dick around. Been back under the bar, 7AM sharp since your last post towards me.

You don't want me here because?? I smoke?? I don't think it's cool anymore, I think it's a problem. I'm working on it, and I appreciate your advice. I mentioned it to you, it wasn't pointed out to me. It was my own realization. We have a difference of opinion. I don't condone illegal activities, but I know enough to know sometimes you gotta do what you have to do. Do you use AAS? If so, you buy AAS.. If not you, quite a few of this boards members. It's just as illegal as pot, and probably parallel in terms of how bad it is for you. So what gives? Btw, I'm not a fuckin' hippie.

OTH, I like you a lot dude.. You keep directing this drug thing towards me when all I take in im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life. I don't even take tylenol, I don't take antibiotics, I don't even drink unless it's a special occasion and we don't have the kids.. We tend to celebrate WITH our kids, so it's sober rover.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

To respond to the first part of your post.. I treat my daughters like you treat your son. Reason is I have no son, they don't have a big brother, I raised my little sister and she is tough as nails or at least it seems.

The second part of your post really struck me. It got me thinking about my relationship as a whole. For the last few years until these last few weeks i've been thinking about MY problem. Now looking back on it, my wife is probably much more unhappy than she leads me to believe. I don't know where to even go with this because we've been on and off so many times this past year that I think bringing up all the crap again is going to cause a meltdown.

I don't know if you read a few posts up, but I made a decision. I have curbed my recreational use from heavy to moderate. At the rate this week is going I've burned less buds this week than I normally do on a Monday. My cutting of ties was unlinking myself from people I do related business with. I actually got new responsibilities at work due to a co-worker leaving and it's making for new stuff to work on (though simple, it is new) and less time to dick around. Been back under the bar, 7AM sharp since your last post towards me.

You don't want me here because?? I smoke?? I don't think it's cool anymore, I think it's a problem. I'm working on it, and I appreciate your advice. I mentioned it to you, it wasn't pointed out to me. It was my own realization. We have a difference of opinion. I don't condone illegal activities, but I know enough to know sometimes you gotta do what you have to do. Do you use AAS? If so, you buy AAS.. If not you, quite a few of this boards members. It's just as illegal as pot, and probably parallel in terms of how bad it is for you. So what gives? Btw, I'm not a fuckin' hippie.

OTH, I like you a lot dude.. You keep directing this drug thing towards me when all I take in im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life. I don't even take tylenol, I don't take antibiotics, I don't even drink unless it's a special occasion and we don't have the kids.. We tend to celebrate WITH our kids, so it's sober rover.

Look, there's a few big things wrong with this post. It all sounds good on the outside but this post is NOTHING like the post you made in here a week ago that described a much more unhappy and desperate situation. It's cool to make a post like the one you did before but then don't continue to perpetuate matters by bringing rec drug use and slang to my forum. Please show me that much respect. Now some of the problems you mentioned in your original post I believe were sincere but they will take some time to get through. Everything since your original post makes me wonder if you have any desire to change your behavior at all. I think your compass is off. I don't like to mince words or pick posts apart but look at what you just wrote:

"I don't condone illegal activities, but I know enough to know sometimes you gotta do what you have to do." - You gotta do what you have to do? Like dealing dope? So then yeah, you do condone illegal activities if you "have to" (whatever that means)

"Do you use AAS? If so, you buy AAS. If not you, quite a few of this boards members." - I am prescribed, by a licensed practioner, a moderate amount of AAS due to non-specific hypopituitarism. I don't know all the other members' particular circumstances.

"It's just as illegal as pot, and probably parallel in terms of how bad it is for you. So what gives?" - You are wrong. It's not more illegal than pot but try telling that to a police officer. AAS are used to treat medical conditions and are a schedule III drug available for prescription and marijuana is a schedule I drug which means that it is not available by prescription, that the potential for abuse is high, and that it has little or no medicinal value. You'd think possession of a schedule I would be a much more serious offense than a schedule III but in today's AAS hysteria, it certainly doesn't appear that way. (I realize that marijuana is being prescribed in very specific circumstances in certain areas)

"You keep directing this drug thing towards me when all I take in im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life." - Didn't you just reinforce the notion that you offered up that information freely? You said and I quote, "I mentioned it to you, it wasn't pointed out to me. It was my own realization." I think you directed this drug thing towards yourself. I think you're going to have to excuse me if I don't pat you on the back and say, "Hey man, it's cool. We all do a little drugs now and then to get by." Which, BTW, you also implied when you said, "im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life." - this implies you feel you need marijuana to cope? I have bullshit in my life. More than I care to think about. Do I need marijuana? You are self-medicating. It's a lot easier to go burn off a spliff instead of learning how to cope with life's problems instead of just putting them off until tomorrow. If you need an escape, take a walk or a hike. Climb a cliff (that's what I do). Learn an instrument. There are a million things you can do help relax and get away from stress that will make you a better person. A spliff ain't going to cut it.

You are defending the use of marijuana to the wrong guy. I never, not once, ever, and I'm probably older than you, have seen it help or do any good in anyone's life. Chronic users become apathetic bums. They talk a good game sure. They are very articulate in their reasoning but it's all flawed. Truth is, many of them are of above-average intelligence and choose to "dumb" themselves down rather than using their minds more productively. They don't become under-achievers but rather, NON-achievers. They do nothing. They contribute nothing.

I think you can do better than that for yourself, your wife, and your kids. Make it happen. This is not a board for recovering drug addicts! This is a fitness board with a counseling forum for people to discuss the general things in life that can get you down. These drug problems popping up recently need to go to a doctor in your area.

 

[OrDieTrying]

Look, there's a few big things wrong with this post. It all sounds good on the outside but this post is NOTHING like the post you made in here a week ago that described a much more unhappy and desperate situation. It's cool to make a post like the one you did before but then don't continue to perpetuate matters by bringing rec drug use and slang to my forum. Please show me that much respect. Now some of the problems you mentioned in your original post I believe were sincere but they will take some time to get through. Everything since your original post makes me wonder if you have any desire to change your behavior at all. I think your compass is off. I don't like to mince words or pick posts apart but look at what you just wrote:

"I don't condone illegal activities, but I know enough to know sometimes you gotta do what you have to do." - You gotta do what you have to do? Like dealing dope? So then yeah, you do condone illegal activities if you "have to" (whatever that means)

"Do you use AAS? If so, you buy AAS. If not you, quite a few of this boards members." - I am prescribed, by a licensed practioner, a moderate amount of AAS due to non-specific hypopituitarism. I don't know all the other members' particular circumstances.

"It's just as illegal as pot, and probably parallel in terms of how bad it is for you. So what gives?" - You are wrong. It's not more illegal than pot but try telling that to a police officer. AAS are used to treat medical conditions and are a schedule III drug available for prescription and marijuana is a schedule I drug which means that it is not available by prescription, that the potential for abuse is high, and that it has little or no medicinal value. You'd think possession of a schedule I would be a much more serious offense than a schedule III but in today's AAS hysteria, it certainly doesn't appear that way. (I realize that marijuana is being prescribed in very specific circumstances in certain areas)

"You keep directing this drug thing towards me when all I take in im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life." - Didn't you just reinforce the notion that you offered up that information freely? You said and I quote, "I mentioned it to you, it wasn't pointed out to me. It was my own realization." I think you directed this drug thing towards yourself. I think you're going to have to excuse me if I don't pat you on the back and say, "Hey man, it's cool. We all do a little drugs now and then to get by." Which, BTW, you also implied when you said, "im curbing as fast as I can without going mad with all the bullshit I have to deal with in life." - this implies you feel you need marijuana to cope? I have bullshit in my life. More than I care to think about. Do I need marijuana? You are self-medicating. It's a lot easier to go burn off a spliff instead of learning how to cope with life's problems instead of just putting them off until tomorrow. If you need an escape, take a walk or a hike. Climb a cliff (that's what I do). Learn an instrument. There are a million things you can do help relax and get away from stress that will make you a better person. A spliff ain't going to cut it.

You are defending the use of marijuana to the wrong guy. I never, not once, ever, and I'm probably older than you, have seen it help or do any good in anyone's life. Chronic users become apathetic bums. They talk a good game sure. They are very articulate in their reasoning but it's all flawed. Truth is, many of them are of above-average intelligence and choose to "dumb" themselves down rather than using their minds more productively. They don't become under-achievers but rather, NON-achievers. They do nothing. They contribute nothing.

I think you can do better than that for yourself, your wife, and your kids. Make it happen. This is not a board for recovering drug addicts! This is a fitness board with a counseling forum for people to discuss the general things in life that can get you down. These drug problems popping up recently need to go to a doctor in your area.

You're right, about all of it. I have nothing else to say really. I apologize for acting like an idiot on your board. Won't happen again.

 

[nosmas]

This is not a board for recovering drug addicts! This is a fitness board with a counseling forum for people to discuss the general things in life that can get you down. These drug problems popping up recently need to go to a doctor in your area.

I have been part of this problem (recently) and I will give my word not to bring up this subject again in the future.