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- Joined
- Jan 12, 2004
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- 1,855
one or two of these are repeats but they are still awesome!!!LMAO
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was
more "humane".
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap
from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't
you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name
cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this
man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris
out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world
that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact,
there are none."
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck
Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was
missing its chain and the back tire.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for
handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot
belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park
there.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper,
what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to
the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris? roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from
outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a
word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a
nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
you're welcome
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was
more "humane".
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap
from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't
you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name
cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this
man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris
out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world
that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact,
there are none."
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck
Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was
missing its chain and the back tire.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for
handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot
belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park
there.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper,
what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to
the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris? roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from
outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a
word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a
nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
you're welcome
