"The darkside of Heavy Iron - my inner thoughts

[juicyjay]

This was from a good friend of mine from other forums, i'm sure a lot of you know who he is already. It is so true, motivational, and funny lol, so I thought i'd post it up here



"The darkside of Heavy Iron - my inner thoughts
Want to be a freak? You're in luck. I'm drunk and going to tell you but let's face it. You don't really want this do you? Want to be a FREAK?

Really?

Want the girls dropping thier jaw when you walk in the room? Want the guys saying WTF when they see you? Want her down on her knees in front of you telling you how hot your abs look before she takes you in her mouth?

Really?

Yeah, most guys do but they don't want to work for it. Face it. Most guys are lazy, don't want to sacrifice and can't eat strict for a week. I'm not going to bullshit you guys in this thread. I will lay it all out but the truth is we don't really want it bad enough. We say we do until we are 45 minutes into our tenth cardio session that week. WE say it until our muscles hurt so bad there are tears in our eyes and we give up. We want it until we have to eat fish for the 4th time that day...I say I want it but I fucking love beer more, so I drink...I say I want to be a FREAK but I don't want to work for it. I'm 10 weeks into a blast and my will feels broken...I can't go on, or can I??? Do I really want this life? No time but time to train. Time to cook, Time to grocery shop, Time to tan. Fuck!!! Not fish and shakes again...FUCK my life.

I walk past the mirror and catch a glimpse. MY obliques are chiseled. My veins look like spider webs all over my body. I catch her looking at me at work, at the store, at the gym. Guys ask me what I'm on. I can't take it. i'm on a FUCKING starvation diet and a shit load of cardio but that's not what they want to hear. They want to hear what drugs to take...You PM me every fucking day. Same questions over and over. ITS NOT THE DRUGS DUMMY!!! Or is it??? Yes and no. Can you take the sides?

Really??? 2 fucking weeks from now you will PM me again whining. I can't sleep. I can't eat like this. I can't do that much cardio. I can't. I can't... THEN STOP PM'ing ME!!!! I can't help you. You don't fucking want this! Just admit it! You don't fucking want this. Its hard. It hurts. You have no social life. You are in the gym when your buddies are drinking beer. You are doing cardio when guys are lying on the couch. You spend your last $50 on protein powder and a bottle of prop. I know all this because I am you. I want it for 2-3 months then I give up. Fuck 10 sessions of cardio a week. Fuck eating fish. Fuck taking pills so I can sleep from all the insomnia from the tren.

Its ok. Get some sleep. wake up and pin. fuck I love to pin. Push in more oil. I love it. My lunches are packed. Off to work. Train after work. Get the pump. Here they come. What are you on??? Not this again... I'm on a crazy train. Fuck my life but fuck I look good and I can lift a shit load of weight. Go ahead. fuck with me. I will make fast work of you...The tren is in my head. Is she cheating on me? How much sleep did I get last night? 5 hours max. Pin some GH and prop and tren. Fuck, I need some caffeine. Ok, double espresso. Time to train.

So IF IF IF you can handle the work, cardio and diet not to mention the sides. Then what??? Drugs of course.

You want that freaky bodybuilder look and your g3netics are average like me???

Its actually quite simple but it takes a focus so strong and focused most give up in a few months if not sooner.

Fuck, where am I? Oh yeah the drugs. One word... Trenbolone. How lo0ng can you take it??? Don't cry to me in 3 weeks when you can't sleep. I don't give a fuck. I can't sleep either. Time for some Xanax. Maybe some whiskey. Most guys give up on tren right when its getting good. 9 weeks in and man your body is changing. The girls want you. Give me some Cialis, prop and more tren...How high can I go. 500mg tren per week and I look in the mirror. Who is this??? I don't even look the same. I need some mast. maybe some win, var, halo. Fuck I look like carved stone..;.lol, Im drunk but its all true. Do you want to be a freak? Man the fuck up and start working for it bitch.

Prop, tren and an oral is a good start. The question is HOW LONG CAN YOU RUN THIS??? Tren at 9 weeks 500mg per week and you are crazy. Eat, train, pin, sleep....over and over. Im feeling insane. just 6 more weeks. Its 4 months now..... Im sub 10% and huge. Not skinny. Huge and lean...How much longer can I go. I want to look like the guy on the cover of the magazine. REALLY??? Eat some more fish and do some more cardio...Fuck Fuck...

Do you really want to be a freak??? Really...?

Written by HeavyIron"

 

[juicyjay]

More...

"I walk past them every day at the gym. Same guys doing the same routine looking the exact same as they did 3 months ago. Talking during sets and even while doing cardio. It isn't work, it's fucking social time for them. I can't be social at the gym. I'm not built for it and I don't want it. I'm there to work, to train, to push my body beyond what the average guy can do.

A few guys are there working like a bulldozer at a construction site. Heavy ass poundage's, sweat running down and out of breath they push another rep. I see the pain in their faces and the strain on their bodies. My turn mother fucker. Time to WORK. I warm up imagining the set before I do it. The steroids are pulsing through my body. The tabs dissolved under my tongue. God how I love the taste of D-bol or Anadrol while walking in the gym. I have been pushing the caffeine and getting in the food. I'm ready. I don't pin pussy ass doses. I'm jacked to the max. A gram is child's play. I need to push in just a little more oil. 1,200mg, 1,500mg that week. Maybe a bit more. Fuck it, just fill the barrel all the way and shoot. I am making changes everyday. I don't want to be the same. I can't be the same.

The steel is cold in my hands. I pump out a few fast sets. Load the weight up. Maybe I will get 4 reps. Maybe 5. I look at the guy picking up a chick at the gym. He weighs a buck fifty. What a fucking joke. This isn't a bar its a fucking place of employment. I'm here to WORK. Fuck the chicks. I don't need a girl right now. I need to train. I lift the weight off and it feels heavy. I grind out 6 reps. Hell yeah! I'm just getting started. OH fuck. Here comes some guy telling me how good I look. Looks like he has never trained a day in his life. I ignore his questions and turn up my iPod. I'm trying to concentrate. Get the fuck away from me my mind screams. I have to be cool. Don't want to get kicked out of the gym....again...I feel rage inside me. Good. Channel it. Put it to use. Hit the set again. I don't want to be the guy who shows up and goes through the motions. I want to make changes. God the pain is bad tonight. Lactic acid is heavy in my muscles. Ok, enjoy the pain. Like it. Its good. Trick your mind. I like the pain. I want the pain. I'm grinding out slow heavy ass reps. It burns but I tell myself its good. My rest between sets is minimal. I have done 5 sets but the guy talking to the chick has done none. Fuck he is tiny.

I walk over to the next bench and load up some more weights. I see a monster walking by. He is covered in sweat. He nods. I nod back. Nothing is said. We are both in the same place. We are there to train not talk. He asks for a spot with one word. spot? I nod and ask how many. He says 5 reps. He pushes out 8 with a few forced reps. My turn. The night goes by slow. Its work. Its hard but I have a pump. Time for cardio. I take a piss and get on the treadmill. Bump up the incline and speed. The guy two machines down is walking like he is strolling through the park. He's reading a fucking book. Hell, I can barely read the numbers in front of me on the machine. I am feeling my lungs burn. Just 40 more minutes to go...Fuck my life. Ok, go to that place in your mind far away. I look down and 15 minutes has gone by in what seems like seconds. Good. Go to that place some more. I am absolutely covered in sweat. My shirt looks like I pulled it out of a bucket of water. I finally finish and get off the treadmill.

Its late and I'm hungry. I feel dizzy. I walk out of the gym. and go get some food. Everyone is obese. I can't believe how fat everyone is. They are pigs. I am in a world of fat people. How can these lazy fucks stand it? I feel hate. Why do I hate these fat asses? Its weird but I feel like yelling at them to wake up. The girls are looking at me again. One stops me and touches the ropes for veins in my arm and says nurses must love me when they draw my blood. Its funny but she is right. They do say that. I'm a freak. Its exactly what I want. I'm walking art. My art. My sculpture. Its who I am....Just another day...a day of work to become a FREAK."

 

[juicyjay]

haha, I think the guy who wrote that must have been having some trensomnia. good read, should be on Oprah's book list

I can relate: this last prep I got about 4hrs sleep each night MAX no matter what. had to use ativan and finally got about 5 lol. resorted to rum and cherry coke zero for quite some time because it was so bad. you either truly want it, or you don't, i fuckin DO! I would never spend my last $50 on whey and prop though, as I have a family to take care of, and well, financially, i'm not in that position thankfully. He isn't either, he just added that for the shock and awe factor I think lol. I like his style of writing he uses, it's literally like you hear his thoughts. His little mini-articles are always very motivational too and make you wanna pop some halo, get in the gym, and KILL IT right at that moment. :headbang:

 

[Knight9]

Awesome stuff. Heavyiron is aas forum royalty.

 

[ajdos]

Love it, written 'honestly'.

 

[earch]

nice read indeed, making me get back on that morning cardio

 

[blaze918]

Cool post hardcore

 

[GND123]

so true. i was once 195lbs/5% bf. didnt want to do alot of gear, shot up 1.5ml prop EOD thats it.

7meals a day all chicken and broccoli.
fast paced workout + cardio after working in the heat all day.
no social life.
everything was cooking meals and cardio.
then id get home from workout eat. do situps situps situps.
went on for about 8-10 months.
i remember waking up alot STARVING. id eat a spoonful of ANPB and go back to bed.

i could never go back. it will drive you MAD. literally.

 

[Jizzmo]

good god, when i read this im glad i dont get angry or trensomnia...

otherwise i think anyone on here has the same mindset. fuck, i need some freaky veins aswell. my vascularity sucks :banghead:

 

[method2madness]

Awesome read! How many times have all the true competitors and true bodybuilders had all of these same thoughts? I know i have

Peace,
M2M

 

[GeNeTiKFiGhTR]

Amazing. I loved every bit of if and it's so true. I was actually eating fish as I was reading it lol!!


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[maldorf]

The only thing he needs to add in there is about some of the health problems that will pop up for the serious user. The story isnt quite complete.

 

[Calpoly]

I read this like a year back. one word, awesome. Gives me chills everytime

 

[raw33man]

a meathead post honestly !

There is more into life than bodybuilding guys... don't let the muscles fool you that you can get RESPECT and girls, you will but to a certain point

this is what life is about

Fabulous Life Of Filthy Rich Billionaires - YouTube

 

[Sieve]

I give it 7/10 just becouse I didnt like some parts

 

[tmuscle]

The only thing he needs to add in there is about some of the health problems that will pop up for the serious user. The story isnt quite complete.

probably because they didnt see it coming

 

[jay_dub]

I can almost relate to every single word he wrote in the second post.

And I found this funny because its so true, the amount of times I've heard this before...

"One stops me and touches the ropes for veins in my arm and says nurses must love me when they draw my blood. Its funny but she is right. They do say that."

Good stuff.

 

[AlphaMaleDawg]

Hits close to home with me too. HeavyIron is a very good forum poster and I used to go to him for help when I was new to this. He posts in a few places

 

[MR. BMJ]

HeavyIron is a great guy!

 

[tkav1980]

The writing is brilliant. It's a coherent but chaotic insight into the mind of someone in the gym to pray to the gods of iron, with pain,sweat, and blood. It's poetic, violent, and sublime. I love this post man. It's chilling when you know exactly what he's saying about the pain used as inspiration that most people will never get to experience.