Unfaithfullnes, is their such a thing as one was still is?

[chgofirefighter]

This is super hard to explain so bare with me, my girl left to do her studies out of state, she was gone for 1 1/2 yrs. It was a long distance relationship, no excuse on my part but I did a big mistake by having some affairs in the process that she was gone, she found out and you probably know the rest of the story.


Can a relationship be saved on past mistakes, judgement errors and bad calls? Has anyone dealt with infidelity issues and have you worked through it, got counseling etc?

Did it saved your relationship, marriage etc? She prososed to me that I should put guarantees on a legal paper describing my flaws, bad calls etc she wants guarantees on paper such if I do a mistake she has the right to take my home, pension, etc, kids etc

 

[Ness]

Yes, a relationship can survive any trial if you BOTH put in the work.

However, you made some mistakes and while there are consequences; I would never do what she is asking. That is flat out insanity. Good luck.

 

[thebrick]

1) Can a relationship be saved after infidelity? Maybe. Under certain conditions.

2) If a woman asked me to draft and sign something like that, I would be outta there in about 1/2 millisecond.

Bottom line: no trust = no meaningful relationship

 

[xxsuprman22xx]

Even if you do managae to work it out...it'll always be in the back of her mind.

 

[chgofirefighter]

She left to school, returned during the holidays and broke up with me saying it was the best for me and her, then after some months passing she returns and start communication with me. Now how am I suppose to react to her actions? Yes, I had some relationship but it was her fault for breaking my heart returning and not even apologizing. In other words I was unsure of the whole ordeal so I kept up my fling until I was 100% sure of her and I saw some tears in her eyes it was then at that moment that I decided to STOP everything put myself together and work things out with her. In regards to the paper that she wants she just wants guarantees of my not cheating, being faithful and not to break our hearts again. Kind of childish but true. Today I made her realize that it was HER that brought some of the issues that happened, its was not all of my fault. But we all make mistakes and it takes 2 adults in working it out.

So I hope I shed a light into her bright little mind of hers, in the womans eye we "Man" are always at fault etc but thats not always the case..

 

[xxsuprman22xx]

lol how could you be unfaithful if she had broken up with you???

 

[Mr. Bear]

While the relationship can be saved, she is being ridiculous with her demands.. Maybe it's time to move on

 

[FeverishFlux]

All gf responsiblities end at the breakup. You're smoking something if you think you owe her something for moving on and getting giggety.
She didn't break up with you and not had someone else, don't fool yourself. Nobody is that self righteous to leave someone because it's better for them! Hope that she came back because you're the one for her, capatalize man. You are in control, never never never let her come back(after she ended it), with demands.
If she wants the keys back after leaving, at least let her work for them.

Personally, i'd never take her back. If she left, she'll leave again. The paper she wants you to sign is charmen, and you know what that's good for.

 

[brother_iron]

Even if you do managae to work it out...it'll always be in the back of her mind.

Agreed 100%, I dated this girl for a year and half before I left for Iraq. Got her a great penthouse in Dubai as I work 3 weeks on 1 off. She moved out with me for 6 months everything was fine. Took back to the states to be with her family ended up sleeping with her ex twice. I knew the guy, he was very manipulative and I really did trust her 100%. It was always in the back of my mind though after that, always. I never trusted her again and it led to one of the worse break ups I think in history.

 

[mooshue]

not to mention putting shit on paper doesn't do shit legally for her, unless you are married and it's filed as a prenup.

 

[QStorm]

1) DONT SIGN A DAMN THING, thats foolish.
2) she broke up with you, you didnt do anything wrong. she probably broke up with you so she could fool around without feeling guilty, now she is trying to throw it in your face and make you feel guilty.
3) there is plenty of other good women out there, let this one go man. 1 1/2 years? you have no idea where the hell she has been.
4) Be a man, dont let her set the rules dude, or she will rule you forever.

 

[triathloncoach]

Huh

You said girl friend right? Not wife. No obligations. Maybe you cheated on her for a reason. Maybe those reasons still exist