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Boyfriend issues now he's an ex

cynderella

New member
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Joined
Jan 1, 2015
Messages
5
I was dating a man who is incredible and we made it threw a year but with many ups and downs. When I met him he had just left his wife, I struggled threw that. I even took him back after he chose to try to reconcile with her under the stipulation that we would be over if he chooses her. I have tried to be the gf he wanted who was loving and adored him. I let my guard down as best as possible. I felt the whole time that he was either hiding something from me or he wasn't all in like I am. 5 mnths in we got pregnant and were both so excited but by the time we hit 8 weeks I miscarried and lost our baby. I went threw a huge depression and still struggle with it. It caused me to lash out be hurt feel less of a woman and plain out saddened. I pushed him away and we tried to stick it out. Things got bad. We went back and forth for sometime. He told me that he was getting back with his wife and I removed our babies burial site from his property. The thought of him taken his ex back and living happily like I didn't exist and our baby didn't happen killed me, little did I know that was his attempt at making me leave him alone and wasn't his real agenda. I have tried to explain how I felt and why I did what I did but I also understand how badly it hurt him and it pains me I caused more pain then I ever wanted to. Anyways we again tried and tried every time.... We bickered and couldn't talk. He assumed and I assumed. Recently I set up an appointment with a counselor for couples counseling to help us communicate better. I honestly feel like the love is there the want was there (maybe until yesterday for him) an this was just what we needed but I feel it's been to long of an on going problem for him that because of a huge fight last night we had its over and I know I took things to far.... I sent a pic of slit wrist and said goodbye he thought it was mine and when I didn't answer his calls called 911. I said my sorries and explained I just wished I wasn't to chicken to go threw with it and said sorry again I think I caused to much damage, but damn it who doesn't when they just want to love someone so much and feel so pushed away no matter how hard they try? I know this last time it was me and I know I have issues for feeling that was in any way ok to do to him but with things that led up to this I just wanted to end it all I tried so hard last night to look amazing for him and he made a joke calling me a whore and said things were weird between us making our night worse then it should have been. I was so hurt. Is this just over and I need to move on, is there any hope? How can I save this? Please anyone... I don't want it to be over with.

He's very narcissistic and I was told that's just how they are they have to control everything and project their own insecurities onto others to feel better about themselves... Is this what he may have been doing to me and why I feel like I'm nothing to him and he is my everything?


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1. Don't fuck with married men

2. Realize that you are the type of asshole that would send someone slit-wrist-pics in order to manipulate them

3. Take responsibility for your fucked up choices.

4. ???

5. Profit
 
Thank you,
1. He wasn't with her but coming out of one.
2. I know I am and he is as well, he threatened to shoot himself several times and OD as well. I understood how he felt and only showed concern not hate that it was to the point death felt a better option. I used his tactic to try and make him understand my pain which did backfire and make me a huge asshole I agree.
3. I've said my sorries idk what more to do.
4. ???? I love him
5. No profit from loosing a loved one

Thanks for your honesty


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I know it doesn't make anything right but I made that stupid choice about the wrist pics while under the influence of alcohol hence the impaired judgement and manipulation tactic I went for. I agree Im an asshole


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Sounds like a very unhealthy relationship between two unhealthy people who shouldn't be in any relationship. He needs help, you need help. This relationship will never work and it's better to except that and the pain now then drag it out to an inevitable, painful end.

Let me ask you something. What made you create an account here on a BB forum to ask for relationship help? I mean that's fine and all but it's not usually a first post.


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He is an avid body builder and he isn't on this site, that I know of. I wanted to ask people with his mentality... Where I wouldn't be in his space. We both met at the gym and this is a huge part of both our lives. He worries more about his diet and workout then me... I was hoping maybe anyone who thinks like him can shed light on things. It wasn't always this bad. It's stupid spats that start it. I tell him something makes me upset or feel bad and he's on the defensive. I try when he tells me how I make him feel to listen and understand say sorry and avoid it again. When I do I get told I twist his shit around I always blame him.... All kinds of things. Before I met him I was ok single for awhile and getting my stuff in order. Now I feel all crazy and someone Im not and he thinks I'm a person Im not nor ever been. Your probably right better now then any longer down the road. Just hurts. I was hoping here someone could tell me if the anabolic steroids cause long term issues and problems with anger or hormones... Etc Im sorry


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I'm sure some guys on here may be offended when you assume they have the same mentality. Not every BB or aas user is an asshole. Sure, maybe some things can cause aggression but that's usually a trait that was there before. I don't know you or him or even the entire situation but I know from my own experience unhealthy relationships don't get better on there own. Honestly, if I was you, I would seek out some professional help and stay single for a little while. It really can help. I've been in a relationship before that was a roller coaster ride. Thought it would kill me if I lost that girl. But now I look back and see it was the best thing I ever did, for me and her, getting out of it. I needed help, she needed help. Insanity= Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.


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I wasn't assuming all were his mentality but I was saying I'm seeking people with his mentality for opinions. I was out of them for awhile before he wasn't thou. We both saw shrinks and we had couple counseling starting on the 12th we just didn't make it till then and we should have tried to sooner. We tried different approaches and still yes the same results... We both feel we are going insane so I guess your right.... Thank you and sorry to anyone who was offended


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The only thing in life anyone can control is themself. Be the best person you can at any given time or situation..it's all anyone can do. As much as it obviously pains you ...you need to let go. Step back and look at it with your head and not your heart.

The suggestion of being single for a bit is wise. Work on being who you want to be and leave others out of it for awhile.

Best of luck
 
I can tell you this relationships is a two way street. You need someone who thinks of you more than themselves and the other way around also.
It is never perfect and we all make asses of ourself,but you two need to sit down and find out what each one expects from this all.Only the truth!
Then take things with small steps and if it doesn't work,don't torture yourself.
GET OUT!
I am glad you where to chicken to kill yourself cause 10 years down the road your life may be completely different and satisfying .

Try only when you can see him putting as much effort into your relationship.
If this isn't the guy you where meant to be with,then look at it this way. You saved your whole life pure pain,and there is a guy out there waiting to meet you and treat you good as well as you treat him.
 
Last edited:
I ith his mentality for opinions. I was out of them for awhile before he wasn't wasn't assuming all were his mentality but I was saying I'm seeking people wthou. We both saw shrinks and we had couple counseling starting on the 12th we just didn't make it till then and we should have tried to sooner. We tried different approaches and still yes the same results... We both feel we are going insane so I guess your right.... Thank you and sorry to anyone who was offended


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His and your mentality sound unhealthy. I don't think it has nothing too do with steroids or the BB lifestyle. You said he puts his BB lifestyle in front of you. That did not send a red flag on how he thinks of you in a relationship? If you are both seeking shrinks, it would appear you both need to take care of yourselves before ever attempting a relationship. I say go back to being single and work out your issues. If you stay in this relationship, it might get worse. I hate to think how worse.
 
His not the guy for you. Hard to believe at this moment of time but healthy happy relationships aren't hard work.

Cut all ties off completely. Move on. Give it time and you'll get over it and when the time is right you'll prob meet someone that far exceeds this relationship
 
:yeahthat:
 
I find it interesting that you can spell narcissistic but the proper use of "threw" vs. "through" is foreign to you.
 
It's over, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.

Get to the gym!




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I am glad you where to chicken to kill yourself cause 10 years down the road your life may be completely different and satisfying .

I don't even know who you are OP, but this is a relief to me as well.
Please please please, from the bottom of my heart, do not ever do this.
I understand that these kind of situations can be very painful. You are not alone. I'm sure that you know you are not alone. But try getting as much support as possible...and if you need more support...come to this forum!!

There are so many genuine people here. Feel free to voice anything that's on your heart at anytime.

Warm regards,

Trinity
 

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