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Spouse using steroid use against me when convenient....

UriahSon

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My spouse and I rarely rarely argue. Typically over the last 4 years I would say we might have a pointless argument once a month, but I have been back on cycle for 5 weeks (small test p cycle) and anytime it is convenient she brings it up and blames steroid use.
I am a full time student and veteran, I pay all bills for my wife and 2 kids, and for the last 3 months I have been doing 90% of the cooking/c;eaning (she recently began cleaning again). I workout only at night once everyone goes to bed to not interfere with their day and until a month ago I worked 3-8am 7 days a week to be there as much as possible. My wife does not work or go to school right now, but we do have a 2 month old baby and I believe it is more post par tum.
I have zero hobbies, i do not go out, i do not drink, I have been out in public once in 5 years to see some iraq battle buddies recently. I went out for 2 1/2 hours and came home at 930. She was pissed and told me I am selfish and unbelievable. She made me feel terrible for what was a very beneficial experience for closure to my Iraq issues.
This morning she was telling me that we were arguing and I was just standing there thinking, wtf... I am happy as hell. Ive been up for an hour cooking the family breakfast and she just woke up mad at me. She again informed me that the steroids have changed me.
I am a very calm and gentle person and I have no doubt that I am a good person. I think at most on steroids I may sigh out of frustration more, but that is all I have noticed.
anyone can chime in on this? have similar issues? advice?
 
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Bro..... been there man. I know how you feel

"we are all contenders...... it's striving to become Champions that sets us aside"
Asylum
 
Thank you brothers for response....
I have considered hiding it, but thats tough. One- I do not want to lie to my wife, she is the only person I have ever been an honest person towards. two- She was always supportive of my usage and even my pin pusher at times.

Maybe I will come off (lie) and see if things improve. I really needed support from her and believed I had it when I married her.
 
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You need to tell her to deal with it and stop making accusations with bullshit because its not going to change and it's not that If she can't deal with an argument here and there tell her she's full of shit and to grow the fuck up using that petty ass shit to argue with you.


As soon as my wife use to say that shit, I wouldn't talk to her or simply ignore her or leave the house. Simple she can go FUCK herself.
 
Well speaking from experience, maybe she'll mellow out after she hits menopause:) If they are bitchy, naggy and whiney they always will be.
 
It sucks because I was married before and this was the type of behavior I left for. The ex would switch between saying I am crazy from ptsd to steroid use anytime she did not get her way. My current wife knew about the ex being crazy and slowly I seem to find myself back in that same situation.
I do not believe it could ever be as bad as the first wife.... she would call the police claiming I hit her believing she would gain more out of the divorce. I gave her everything anyways to speed up the process and I have never in my life even considered resulting to violence ( i was abused as a child). But people/women do not understand what kind of impact their negativity can have on someones psyche.
The fact that my wife believes or at least says I am selfish and all these things really f's with my head.
 
I work 2 jobs and help around the house. I do not share my steroid use because it is not her decision and it does not affect her. No rage no temper nada. But when they start feeling entitled I remind them who is the head of household and let her know that she can take over any time. That usually ends the convo. Good luck brother.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
 
id say be on your best behavior, because you are at her mercy.



sorry if this is too real, but that's how it is.






edit: go to your doctor and get a script PRONTO
 
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Isn't that the truth. Early on even into a few years down the road, my wife always brought up steroids as the problem. Things that were completely her fault or other things like the kids would do something bad and I would say something and then get the look from her. Like duh wife you do it too whats the look for!?
The big fights always reverted to steroid use and how I'm the changed person. I think as little slice said, you have no choice as to be on your best behavior and prove her wrong.
It isn't until she starts using them too that she will stop blaming them.
 
I feel ya...my ex wife had a friend who worked at the VA..she lri ted out my psyche notes and gave them to my ex. E en though I was stolen property the court accepts them which resulted I. Me having supervised visits with my kids..ive never been arrested no history of violence..my crime was being a veteran with ptsd
 
Isn't that the truth. Early on even into a few years down the road, my wife always brought up steroids as the problem. Things that were completely her fault or other things like the kids would do something bad and I would say something and then get the look from her. Like duh wife you do it too whats the look for!?
The big fights always reverted to steroid use and how I'm the changed person. I think as little slice said, you have no choice as to be on your best behavior and prove her wrong.
It isn't until she starts using them too that she will stop blaming them.


a good wife will forgive her husband when she is wrong.








with regards to OP, I meant he should be on his best behavior, because she could absolutely destroy in him court, and take more than he ever thought he could have possibly lost.



if he follows my advice and gets a script, this will definitely help things out
 
a good wife will forgive her husband when she is wrong.

















with regards to OP, I meant he should be on his best behavior, because she could absolutely destroy in him court, and take more than he ever thought he could have possibly lost.







if he follows my advice and gets a script, this will definitely help things out


Agreed. Not only could she ruin him in court but she could ruin his personal life as well. Telling family/friends these things could really destroy someone's reputation. I would hate it if that happened.
 
i dont know op be careful. and be leary of internet armchair lawyers.

excuse the typos
 
Your not alone brother. Most women are the same. Always throwing shit in your face when they get mad and bringing up old shit. My wife blames my mood on AAS when she knows I'm on. I do have a script for test but that doesn't matter. Oh and she gives me most of my shots. Women are emotional and men are rational. Fact. Not much you can do unless you want to be single. The world we live in. Wish we knew then what we know now. Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I feel ya...my ex wife had a friend who worked at the VA..she lri ted out my psyche notes and gave them to my ex. E en though I was stolen property the court accepts them which resulted I. Me having supervised visits with my kids..ive never been arrested no history of violence..my crime was being a veteran with ptsd

yep... the system is not protecting us. My ex called the police repeatedly claiming abuse and terrorist threats. Took a lot of time and money to get off my record... even 3 days in jail.
I appreciate the comments. I truly am always on my best behavior. As a practicing secular Buddhist I live by that notion.

One thing is certain... If my marriage should ever fail it will not be on my part and I will forever be free of the bonds of "relationships". Suddenly I understand how a monk can abstain for years on end.
 
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Sounds like your a good dude to me. Is she planning on going back to work after the postpartum recovery? A good portion of this recent stuff may be attributed to hormonal inbalances caused by the pregnancy. Give it some time to get better and if not I recommend counseling so she can hear from a third party how good she has it and how irationale she is being.
 
Sounds like your a good dude to me. Is she planning on going back to work after the postpartum recovery? A good portion of this recent stuff may be attributed to hormonal inbalances caused by the pregnancy. Give it some time to get better and if not I recommend counseling so she can hear from a third party how good she has it and how irationale she is being.




good call, women love this stuff
 
Thank you brothers for response....
I have considered hiding it, but thats tough. One- I do not want to lie to my wife, she is the only person I have ever been an honest person towards. two- She was always supportive of my usage and even my pin pusher at times.

Maybe I will come off (lie) and see if things improve. I really needed support from her and believed I had it when I married her.
I have been saying this on this board for a decade so one more time won't hurt. Don't tell anyone. Not even your wife and ESPECIALLY a girlfriend. It is not lying to keep some personal things to yourself. It is your business and yours alone. Do you tell your wife what color and texture your last bowel movement was or if your urine was clear or yellow? Do you tell her every dream you have at night? Or if you looked at another woman's tits? Being married doesn't mean you can't also have your own personal life. That's the beauty of marriage. That you both live separate lives but come together as one. I'd get a script like LS said or just stop telling her that you even use PEDs. If she asks, avoid the answer by saying, "You know better" or "What do you think?" Whatever you do, get to a point where she doesn't even ask you anymore. It's nobody's business but yours. How many horror stories have we heard of wives and gf's threatening to rat you out or using it as ammunition against you? Too many. Many people who are married and deeply in love disagree with me on this and that's cool. For myself, in my relationship, it's sorta known but never discussed - and certainly never brought up in an argument.

good call, women love this stuff
Women love being told they're wrong? LOL! I hope this was sarcasm because I have seen many women get so mad they just walk out. They know when they're being deadbeats. Having a professional tell them will just make the woman take it out on him. What you would want is a counselor that is smart enough to make her think it's all about her (which in a real way, it is) so it keeps her ass in the chair, while simultaneously making everyday life a 50/50 task between the couple.


All of that being said, this 90/10 marriage you have going on now is doomed. You must be a team in order to make a marriage last and work. It doesn't always have to be 50/50 at every moment. Maybe you will eventually need her and it will be more like 40/60. The point is that it all averages out to 50/50 or better yet 100%/100%. Those are the relationships that not only last but are better for health, standard of living, cleanliness, financially, etc.

Good luck. Some good advice in this thread. It does my heart good to see us helping each other in here, truly.

Peace

OTH
 
I have been saying this on this board for a decade so one more time won't hurt. Don't tell anyone. Not even your wife and ESPECIALLY a girlfriend. It is not lying to keep some personal things to yourself. It is your business and yours alone. Do you tell your wife what color and texture your last bowel movement was or if your urine was clear or yellow? Do you tell her every dream you have at night? Or if you looked at another woman's tits? Being married doesn't mean you can't also have your own personal life. That's the beauty of marriage. That you both live separate lives but come together as one. I'd get a script like LS said or just stop telling her that you even use PEDs. If she asks, avoid the answer by saying, "You know better" or "What do you think?" Whatever you do, get to a point where she doesn't even ask you anymore. It's nobody's business but yours. How many horror stories have we heard of wives and gf's threatening to rat you out or using it as ammunition against you? Too many. Many people who are married and deeply in love disagree with me on this and that's cool. For myself, in my relationship, it's sorta known but never discussed - and certainly never brought up in an argument.

Women love being told they're wrong? LOL! I hope this was sarcasm because I have seen many women get so mad they just walk out. They know when they're being deadbeats. Having a professional tell them will just make the woman take it out on him. What you would want is a counselor that is smart enough to make her think it's all about her (which in a real way, it is) so it keeps her ass in the chair, while simultaneously making everyday life a 50/50 task between the couple.


All of that being said, this 90/10 marriage you have going on now is doomed. You must be a team in order to make a marriage last and work. It doesn't always have to be 50/50 at every moment. Maybe you will eventually need her and it will be more like 40/60. The point is that it all averages out to 50/50 or better yet 100%/100%. Those are the relationships that not only last but are better for health, standard of living, cleanliness, financially, etc.

Good luck. Some good advice in this thread. It does my heart good to see us helping each other in here, truly.

Peace

OTH

just out of curiosity how would one hide such things? lol

I am way too open about all my weird shit, the way I see it it is me and if I want someone to know me they are gona have to take the good with the bad.

I like to get all the bad or controversial things out of the way first! lol

yes I have had it hurt me and used against me in the face of le, but....
what do you do?

no way to really hide regular sup n drug use....

hard enough to deal with me being me, hiding some me shit with a person I want to spend time with sounds much worse.

not suggesting its bad advice as I do not think it is, just curious...

;)
 

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