spartan995
Banned
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2015
- Messages
- 478
In summary I'm a 35 year old married man with 3 children. Been with my wife since 1999. My wife has borderline personality disorder. We just recently called a divorce. I walked in on her crying. As the typical knight in shining armor I went to consolidate the damsel in distress. Asking her why she is crying. She said that if she dies our children will hate her. Most of our fights are about how much I hate her and this one was about how my negative perception of her will rub off on our children if she dies prematurely. I'm seeing a counselor who said I shouldn't engage her on these things. By consolidating her immaturity Im just enabling her victimization. Of course walking away just feeds into her distorted perception of reality. So the next cycle of emotions is anger and why I want to leave her. Which is true I do. Anyways to make a long story short she starts figuratively cornering me pressing me with statements like "Are you in or out" either you are fully invested in this marriage or you are out and we will sell the house tomorrow. Fair questions considering that I want out but she is basically calling a bluff and putting me into a corner. My typical response is to people please and tell her how much I love her. But after 15 years of losing myself I decided to say OK I WANT OUT. Called her on it. It felt so good to say this but afterwards I have all the mixed thoughts. Its about time I stood up for me but the other half is like I take it back I don't want to hurt you.
Anyways just had to vent this out. I started recording our arguments and journaling my thoughts because a BPD woman can have your head spinning. On top of it my wife is a psychiatrist which means she can have my male mind twisted and turned.
my mom has borderline personality disorder. I cannot imagine having a spouse with it. It is a never ending cycle that seems unbreakable. Good luck brother..ultimately you need to be happy.