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Divorced

SuperHeavy27

Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
105
Hey everyone,
I don’t post a lot here, but this has been my home in one way or another, as a lurker or member, since I started bodybuilding 8 years ago.

I not so recently (13 months) ago got a divorce with my wife of 6 years. I know it was not the longest marriage, but we were so in love, I even quit my job, packed two duffle bags and moved to be with her. It was all really great.

Despite her very mean at the end, lying, trying to fuck me out of money and assets.... i feel so UN EASY, ANXIOUS, and SAD... it’s like those feelings are in the back of my head whatever I do and wherever I go. I had no family and not many friends where we lived, so I went home for a bit and stayed with my mom and dad and sister/new born. It was nice to have people who cared about me.

But now I’m back, and all can think abut is good time we had.. it really paralyzes me the anxiety and un easy feelings


I know the things I did to contribute to the divorce and owned up to them, but she never did.
I won’t get into them that’s not the reason for this thread


But anyone go through a similar stage of sadness? I don’t think I’m depressed I just feel un easy and anxious. I have been away from the iron ever since as we used to work out together. And I would just get really upset going back to the gym.
I just started going back this week since moving back, but I joined a different gym so I don’t feel so sad.

How did you guys overcome these feelings? Time? Meeting a new woman? I’m not ready for that yet I don’t think
 

little slice

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Joined
Mar 3, 2014
Messages
12,652
sorry to hear about this brobro


I imagine what would help you move on is to choke down some 'hard-to-swallow' pills



it's not what you want.. but it's what you need.
 

XstarchildX

Banned
Joined
Oct 23, 2015
Messages
1,557
Gosh, man. I'm truly sorry to hear this. I can relate as I was in a long relationship and loved this girl. She left me and moved on and well.. I didn't. It took me quite some time, but I eventually found someone else, fell in love, and got married.

LS's advice is sound. You need to let it go. I know that you're experiencing that awful sinking feeling in your stomach reading this right now, but it's the cold hard truth. EVEN if you got back with her, it would be awful. She is no longer bought in, and likely never will fully commit again.

I hope this helps, at least in the long run.
 

SuperHeavy27

Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
105
You two are both right, I’m sure the emptiness will subside slowly. Thank you little slice I know that your blunt advice is what I need to do.
 

Vlad The Impaler

Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 4, 2017
Messages
187
Up your dose. Get jacked and tan and get on tinder. That's what I would do anyway

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 

MAD_SCIENTIST

Active member
Registered
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
506
You two are both right, I’m sure the emptiness will subside slowly. Thank you little slice I know that your blunt advice is what I need to do.

Hi SuperHeavy27. It will get better. You may have already heard this saying, "to get over someone, you need to get under someone."
Take care.
MS
 

pesty4077

Moderator/ Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Staff member
Moderator
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
9,428
Hey everyone,
I don’t post a lot here, but this has been my home in one way or another, as a lurker or member, since I started bodybuilding 8 years ago.

I not so recently (13 months) ago got a divorce with my wife of 6 years. I know it was not the longest marriage, but we were so in love, I even quit my job, packed two duffle bags and moved to be with her. It was all really great.

Despite her very mean at the end, lying, trying to fuck me out of money and assets.... i feel so UN EASY, ANXIOUS, and SAD... it’s like those feelings are in the back of my head whatever I do and wherever I go. I had no family and not many friends where we lived, so I went home for a bit and stayed with my mom and dad and sister/new born. It was nice to have people who cared about me.

But now I’m back, and all can think abut is good time we had.. it really paralyzes me the anxiety and un easy feelings


I know the things I did to contribute to the divorce and owned up to them, but she never did.
I won’t get into them that’s not the reason for this thread


But anyone go through a similar stage of sadness? I don’t think I’m depressed I just feel un easy and anxious. I have been away from the iron ever since as we used to work out together. And I would just get really upset going back to the gym.
I just started going back this week since moving back, but I joined a different gym so I don’t feel so sad.

How did you guys overcome these feelings? Time? Meeting a new woman? I’m not ready for that yet I don’t think

Try being with someone 20 years and getting a divorce. Although I initiated it, it was still rough in the beginning. What I did, was keep myself busy and hang out with close friends. My bucket list was to travel Europe and that is what I did. I had the time of my life and I was by myself traveling.

Swore I never get married again and end up traveling to Romania and meeting my current wife. I been with her 6 years now and the relationship is very good. My advice is don't try to substitute another woman for your wife and don't try to get serious with any at first. If I showed you the beautiful women I met and party with, you wouldn't believe it and I am not exactly young or GQ looking, LOL.

Get that Bucket list out and do some things off it. Traveling and meeting new people is also cool. Last time I was in Romania, I met an online guy from Ireland that we will talk about Cryptos all the time. I thought that was cool. Keep yourself busy is my advice.
 

MonkeyBoy

Active member
Registered
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
807
Time heals all wounds, you can't make the pain go away but over time it gets easier.

I like the bucket list idea, keep busy. Whatever you do, don't turn to drinking or pitty party for you....come out of this a better person. Look at yourself, everyone can learn from past mistakes and I am sure you were not perfect neither was she but you can't control her but you can prepare for your future so when that next lady comes in, you are the man of her dreams.

Sorry to hear....time will make it get better...I promise
 

Bigorexia

Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 5, 2017
Messages
224
Sorry to hear bro. I am also divorced and it's a horrible experience no matter how you cut it.
Things to get better with time

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk
 

Mr OZ

FOUNDING Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 24, 2002
Messages
778
when i got out of a long term relationship and I felt the way you did it just took some time before I started feeling 'good' again.
If i could go back and speak to myself again I would tell that person to start doing things that make you happy (gym, reading book, whatever it is)

I started surfing and it was the best thing I ever did, I just wish I started earlier as I would have been able to concentrate/have fun with that
 

Rastaboy

Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 13, 2009
Messages
59
Not to kick a dead thread but I recently went through a divorce, we were together for 12 years, highschool sweethearts and all that. I loved that girl with everything I had and then some. Maybe everyone is different, but myself I came to the sad realization that I'll never love another woman quite the way I loved her. I've since met another woman and love her the best way I can. Which has helped the pain tremendously, and I'd never admit it to her but when I smell the perfume she used to use or I hear a song we would listen to or fuck to, it still makes me feel so sad inside.

I guess my point is, you'll never really be quite the same. If what you felt was real, you carry those scars for the rest of your days. Time makes it hurt less, being held by another woman helps too. But like the others have said the best thing for you is to let go as best you can. Remove the things that remind you of her so you can stop the feeling of having your heart ripped out of your chest all over again.

But you owe it to yourself to do your best to be happy. Whatever that means for you do it. And FYI, from my experience meaningless, mindless sex helps a bit at first but in the end caused more pain for me.

Good luck and stay strong bro
 

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