Broke Up With My Girl

littlemack · Feb 23, 2007

So I broke up with my girl the other day. I've mentioned her and her little girl quite a bit on this board. My heart was just not in it anymore, and as I explained to her I gave and gave and gave until my heart was empty, sad, and alone. This is just in my nature to give like this and be too supportive. Right now I don't know what I'm feeling to tell you guys the truth. The little girl was like a daughter to me and my heart is really torn apart over that. I dated this girl for about 2 years. She's moving out this week, and has moved the little one back to her old school. Little Kaylee asked if I would still be in their lives as a friend and I am so glad that I can be there for her. I don't know what else to say guys. There is more to this story, but don't feel like sharing in an open forum.

balla06 · Feb 23, 2007

im sorry to hear that mack, break ups r never easy to deal with, and really when ur heart is totally involved. also the little girl, that must be rough but i cant say much bc ive never gone thru that but i can imagine but like u said at least u still get to be a part of the little girls life ya know.... i dont know the whole situation and what totally happen, but sometimes a heart jus falls outta love and there is nothing u can do about it..... some ppl do things that push others away and they dont realize they r really draining ur heart for what its got

with me i look at things like this, i know the man above has the perfect one for me, my wife. and until she comes along, ill date around and fall in love and let it go on and learn and have fun and make memories as long as it can but when god says its time to let go i let go.... everything happens for a reason my friend and if it doesnt make sense right at the moment or a month or a year after, somewehre later down the raod it will all become clear to u, thats when u can look back and smile about what happen and not be upset and bitter with the outcome of things

keep ur head up big dog and let the good lord guide u and take care of u, its all u can do on things like this.... the rain never last forever bro and time heals everything, jus be tough and and jus know that somethin better is goin to come along for u, somethinthat is meant for u

best of luck bro, wish i knew more info to maybe say more to help u out but i hope this brings u up a little

stay up brutha

later on

buffbabeca · Feb 23, 2007

littlemack- im sorry u are going through this but if ur heart wasnt in it then u did the right thing.... nothing is worse then trying to "fake" it. glad u can still be in the lil ones life. i will pray for ya sweetie.

BOOMSHAKER · Feb 23, 2007

As we talked before brother, you sound like a good person. If you can try to be there for the littel girl. She doesn't have much else in the world right now so be the best friend that you can be to her. With a little attention and love this young girl may just turn out to be a better person then her mother. I believe you can be that male figure for her. Even though your not her biological dad, that doesnt matter, the little girl really looks up at you. I know you'll do the right thing by her bro! Be strong, and I'll keep you in prayer!

littlemack · Feb 24, 2007

Thank you everyone

I really want to be there for little Kaylee. She is only 8 years old and recently told her mom how mad she was at her b/c she has had 5 dads in her life and named every one of them. I wrote Kaylee a letter today to give to her mom and am attaching a copy for you to read. I hope I did ok with it. Miss Noni is her sitter and takes care of her at times. Little Kaylee is staying with her while her mom is recovering from this terrible breakup. Thank you everyone.

To Kaylee

I want to tell you so many things.

Little Kaylee. I love you very much. There are so many things that I did not get to tell you before I left. I know you are very confused right now and all alone. You are and always will be a daughter to me. I am very sorry that I have walked out of your life for a while. My heart will always hurt thinking about you and how losing you is one of the most tragic and hurtful things I have ever been through. You are so young and innocent and you deserve so much love. I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. My leaving was not your fault. Sometimes parents don't get along and they need a little time to work on themselves. I hope that I will be able to continue to see you and spend time with you and I promise that I will do my best to be your friend and I will always be your best friend. You can call me anytime you want to. Anytime you want to talk, I will be here for you. Your Mom is going to put you back into your old school at Smith and you will be around all your old friends who you love to see so much. I know you missed them, and I know you were sad when we moved out to the country and you had to go to your new school. I am so sorry that I made you move like that. Please do not be mad at me ok. Your real Dad has not wanted to see you, but I will always be here for you. You can call me anytime you are sad and I will pick you up anytime that you want to see me. I will take you to the old apartments if you like so you can see your old friends. I will take you to Gatti-Town anytime you want, and look forward to taking you surfing this Summer. My mom and Dad and sister Sarah will always be here for you to. They all love you very much too and Sarah will want to see you the next time she is in Corpus. Right now I need a little time alone b/c I am very sad inside, but I want you to know that you made my heart smile every single day. Even though it can be hard to wake you up in the mornings, I loved tucking you into bed every night and kissing you on your forehead and watching you fall asleep. I loved playing video games with you and playing with our cat MJ. I loved helping you with training and teaching you how to exercise. I loved our walks out to the island together. I must go now b/c I am too sad to write you, but I will see you real soon ok. You can have Miss Noni call me if you ever want to talk to me or see me. Please memorize my phone number XXX-XXXX. I will never change it and I will never move away from you and you will always be the daughter I never had. I love Kaylee. You are my princess and my angel.

I am so sad about this and right now I am in tears. I haven't cried since my best friend died when I was 5 years old. Never cried once at a funeral and right now I can not stop the tears...

buffbabeca · Feb 24, 2007

LittleMack- about brough tears to my eyes when I read that, you are a good man and i know that lil princess will understand. i can only imagine how special that lil girl is. i will pray for some peace and healing in your life. if u need a friend to talk... PM me.. i know you dont know me but im a good listener.

emily

littlemack · Feb 24, 2007

Thanks Em. I just had a phone conversation with little Kaylee. She was so happy to talk to me and I told her how much I love her and that I would be taking her out to Pizza soon when I get over my whooping cough. I'm also going to take her surfing which is something that I taught her to do last Summer. You should have seen the sparkle in her eyes the first time she stood up on a board and road a wave. I almost cried then...but...ha...I'm a tough old man. I'm feeling so much better now. I just needed to talk to her and tell her some things that I didn't get to say to her the last time we were together. Crystal told me that it would be a long time before she ever let another man into little Kay's life. Kaylee's Dad abandoned her. I'm the only Dad she's got now and it looks like I will get to stay in the picture! I am so happy about that.

buffbabeca · Feb 24, 2007

LM- that is awesome and you are a good man to stay in her life.... a lot of gusy would make a clean break from the whole situation. i know it will be hard at times because you are used to tucking her in at night , etc but just remember you did the right thing. u CAN be a part of her life without having to "fake" having your heart in it with her mom. im proud of you and i dont even know you... wish there was more men out there like ya.

littlemack · Feb 25, 2007

Any of you know what it takes to be able to legally adopt a child? I have been thinking about doing this lately and talked to my ex and she told me she thought that would be great and that we'd talk more about it later. I don't know what the situation is with Kaylee's real dad. I know my ex has full custody of the little girl and is collecting child support from him(which he doesn't pay). I don't know if I could adopt her, but I would like to if it is possible and have both my ex and I be her parents and legal guardians. I know you guys probably think its crazy, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as a daughter and I want to help her through life however I can.

oldfella · Feb 25, 2007

littlemack said:
Any of you know what it takes to be able to legally adopt a child? I have been thinking about doing this lately and talked to my ex and she told me she thought that would be great and that we'd talk more about it later. I don't know what the situation is with Kaylee's real dad. I know my ex has full custody of the little girl and is collecting child support from him(which he doesn't pay). I don't know if I could adopt her, but I would like to if it is possible and have both my ex and I be her parents and legal guardians. I know you guys probably think its crazy, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as a daughter and I want to help her through life however I can.

Lm my heart goes out to you. This is a tough situation for sure. I think you are such a careing person to look after little Kaylee. As far as adotion it is a matter of going through the process I believe. If there is no real opposition to the adoption I would think it to be reasonably straight forward. You will prove to the agency that you love her like your own and that you will provide her with a loving environment. After reading your tear jerking post there is no doubt in my mind who she should be with!! Stay strong bro and keep your head up. Do all that you can for this little angel so she will grow up with love and care in her life. Go for it!!

strongmind · Feb 27, 2007

Hey littlemack,

I feel ya on this, I really do. It hurts bad and you're thinking of ways to heal the hurt, YOUR hurt. Although I believe your intentions are so completely in the right place, I really need you to stop and think about what this might do to Kaylee in the long run. She's already had a dad (or several "dads") walk out on her and now you are, for all intents and purposes, OUT of the picture. It's confusing for her. And in the long run, for you too.

Giving her the chance to develop a loving relationship with a man who WILL stay in her life and in her mother's forever is the best gift you could give that little girl. And it seems a little unfair to YOUR future wife and kids to have this connection with an ex... you see where I'm going with this?

You do seem like a stand-up guy and I can tell you really want to do the right thing here. Unfortunately, the "right thing" is usually the hardest thing to do, and in this case, it may be to make a clean break. Now I'm not saying walk away and never look back. I'm saying you should give VERY serious thought to this adoption idea. If you're not going to marry her mom, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. I know you want Kaylee to know that you care for her and love her deeply, but there are other meaningful ways to show her this.

Good luck,

Natalie

littlemack said:
Any of you know what it takes to be able to legally adopt a child? I have been thinking about doing this lately and talked to my ex and she told me she thought that would be great and that we'd talk more about it later. I don't know what the situation is with Kaylee's real dad. I know my ex has full custody of the little girl and is collecting child support from him(which he doesn't pay). I don't know if I could adopt her, but I would like to if it is possible and have both my ex and I be her parents and legal guardians. I know you guys probably think its crazy, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as a daughter and I want to help her through life however I can.

littlemack · Feb 28, 2007

Thanks Natalie. I really do appreciate the advice and there is a lot of truth to what you are saying. I completely agree with you on this. Its hard to do the right thing sometimes you know.
Anyway, thank you very much and I will continue to try and be strong.

I have my first date tomorrow. A lunch date with a woman who I've met recently. I am very excited about this, and it is funny but I seem to subconsciously be looking for women who are very much opposite to my ex. The girl I'm going to lunch with is very confident, very independant, has a successful career and is a very positive person. I don't think I should be dating one person exclusively for a while, but I miss the companionship of a woman and so I thought I would date around and take things real slow until I'm ready again.
Thank you all!

IslandGirl · Mar 1, 2007

Your letter to Kaylee brought tears to my eyes! You seem like such a genuine person and for whatever reason you and Kaylee's mom did not work out...there is someone out there for you.

Good luck on your date tomorrow.

strongmind · Mar 9, 2007

littlemack said:
Thanks Natalie. I really do appreciate the advice and there is a lot of truth to what you are saying. I completely agree with you on this. Its hard to do the right thing sometimes you know.
Anyway, thank you very much and I will continue to try and be strong.

I have my first date tomorrow. A lunch date with a woman who I've met recently. I am very excited about this, and it is funny but I seem to subconsciously be looking for women who are very much opposite to my ex. The girl I'm going to lunch with is very confident, very independant, has a successful career and is a very positive person. I don't think I should be dating one person exclusively for a while, but I miss the companionship of a woman and so I thought I would date around and take things real slow until I'm ready again.
Thank you all!

No problem. So... how did the date go???

JustWannaBeHuge · Mar 17, 2007

Hey LM, sorry to hear that things didn't work out with your girl.

My advice on the adoption thing is this, don't do it.

Like SM says, this little girl needs a permanent male in her life, and I think that if you go ahead and do this, in the long run, it's just going to confuse the child even more, and to be honest, it may even cause resentment to her mother. That is just my opinion on it though, take it as you will.

Think about everything in this picture. I'm saying take a minute and back up, look at all the concequences of the actions that you would take. I don't just mean the positive things, like you being a good guy and helping this child out, but all the negitive things that could go wrong also.

I'm honestly not trying to sound like an ass or say anything bad, I'm just saying right now, you're emotions are mixed up from the break up, I'm sure you love the little girl, maybe even as much as if she were your own child... but let your emotions calm down before you make any legal decisions that could affect you and this girl.

again, that's just my advice, take it for what it is.

Rob