dealing with depression/anxiety/panic attacks/jealousy ect...from missing someone

[flexmaster]

i dont know what to do. my girl and i broke up right before she left to study abroad in mexico. we are more or less back together now (the only real reason we're not is the distance). sometimes i find myself getting SO depressed about her being gone. shes been gone for a little over 5 months now, and still has about another 5 until she comes back. sometimes its all i can do to try and stay calm and controlled, but sometimes i have panic attacks where i cannot breath, my mind and heart start going a million miles and hour, and i cannot focus. i get jealous sometimes about her being around certain guys, and i used to say something about it, but now i just keep it inside and hope everything turns out ok...and trust she'll be faithful. i am going to go down and see her, probably over spring break (last week in march)...but with school just starting again on monday, and being around all these girls all the time and everything, i just miss her so much more. last term was really hard on me...i had major issues going on and things werent really going very well between her and i...but they are better now...basically, i just want to know if anyone has gone through something like this before (been seperated from a loved one for extended period of time) and how you dealt with the various feelings you had...


also, i am sorry for constantly making threads about this in here, im sure they get old. i just dont know where else to get some good solid advice from good people.

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Hello, Flexmaster!

Flex, don't worry about posting on this subject or any other for that matter. This forum is here exactly for what you mention. This is a forum to share our problems with each other! The board members always seem to help each other out here and I think it's very beneficial.

Your posts are not boring. When you think about it most of our problems come down to three areas: Love, sex, and money! We all have some expirience in those areas if we are alive, so don't worry about anything. Post away!

We've got a good group here and as I've said before it's really a group counseling situation.

Flex, I think you've made some good changes. For example, the fact that you aren't acting jealous and saying things on the phone that might cause damage to the relationship is a very good thing. After all, you seem to want this girl to have a closer bond with you!

Here are some suggestions I have. Before you speak, ask yourself, "Is what I am about to do or say going to bring us closer together or farther apart?" If the answer is yes, CONTROL your behavior. Do not say of do those things!

Sounds as if you've been following that advice. That's good. Keep it up.

Ask yourself, "Whose behavior can I control?" You know the answer to that one. Your own. Don't worry so much about what she's doing or who she chooses to be around. That is not up to you. It's a lot of wasted effort.

Try this exercise: Place a can of pop on the left side of your kitchen table. Now, with the awesome power of your mind and it's limitless capacity for worry, WORRY THAT CAN ACROSS TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR TABLE!

See the futility of worry?

Find some positive ways to view this time apart. You are in control of your thoughts! What is positve about being away from someone you love?

Here are some suggestions:

#1. You have time to build your body into a lean muscular machine. You can shock her with your mind blowing improvements! When you show up to visit that would be fun.

#2. It gives both of you time to see if this relationship is all you hope it will be. If she finds someone else or does something you don't like, then you'll know she wasn't the right person for you. That's good to know.

#3. You now have a golden opportunity to build up your G.P.A. Without a girl friend around you'll have more time to hit the books hard. This can only make your future brighter if the relationship works out. You'll be able to get a job!!

#4. You've mentioned that you are a Christian. You can spend some time in Scripture making sure you are the best man you can be in a moral and spiritual sense. That is something you are in control of, Flex. That can only make you a better choice for a girl looking for a man to spend her life with. Do the best you can in thought and action and leave the rest up to God.

Let me know if any of this sounds good.

I hope some other members jump in here as well. Help our pal Flexmaster out!

 

[flexmaster]

Sigmund Roid, thank you

some of the things you said i already knew, but i definately needed to hear someone else say it (i think you knew that ). i have been doing suggestions 1-4 pretty much since she left...and they have helped to distract me in a sense from my worries. i think the best 2 peices of advice you have given me are:

1- to think about what i am going to say/do beforehand, if it will not bring her and i closer, then dont say/do it.

2- the only thing i can control is myself, and the way i react to things. i cannot control other people or situations (for the most part). i can not help it if something i view as "bad" happens to me, but i can control how i view it and how i react to it.

i really love this girl so much, we have so much fun together, she is SO beautiful, she is so trustworthy and honest...she just seems so perfect, i think thats why i am scared to lose her (again). im sure its the same way you feel about your wife, but its so new to me, ive never felt like this...i feel like im in the clouds(from my feelings for her) and being smashed in the dirt at the same time(with my worries).

 

[maxsupplements]

flex... its all normal..

hey bro,
thought you could use some input... what you are going through would be normal.. considering the situation.. i personally dont know if i could go through with something like this, but knowing myself, and the trust issues i deal with, i cannot do long distance relationships.. BUT THATS JUST ME.. i have been burnt too many times to allow these types of relationships..
so, with that said, remember all you can do is control your own actions.. thats all.. dont outlash and say things that would hurt the relationship.. just hold your tounge, and try to trust she is making smart decisions with your relationship and you in mind..
and above all.. you are a following christian.. pray for her.. pray for her strength in this time in her life.. and also, pray for your own strength that He will keep you strong and faithful yourself.. we are all human and fall short of the glory of God, but remember this verse. "Without Him I am nothing, but with Him I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." Phil. 4:13

you can make it through this. and whatever happens KNOW that its in GOD'S timing.. not yours. not hers.. but HIS... so, turn these thoughts and things that bother you so much over to Him and your worries will dissipate into thin air!
take care..
Hambone

 

[JETHRO TULL]

FLEX....IT'S PRETTY NORMAL SOUNDING TO ME.

WHEN YOU FIND A GOOD THING....A GUY WANTS TO KEEP IT CLOSE. MOST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP [LYNX] WAS SPENT WITH HER 5 HOURS AWAY. SHE WAS IN SCHOOL FOR 5 1/2 YEARS, THEN I WENT BACK LAST YEAR.

OF COURSE I GOT TO SEE HER EVERY 2-3 WEEKS...SO YOU'VE GOT A HARDER SITUATION THAN I DID. I WORRIED SOME AT TIMES AND IT WAS GOOD TO HAVE HER TELL ME THINGS. [THAT SHE LOVED ME AND MISSED ME ETC...] I ACTUALLY THINK YOU ARE OKAY. JUST DON'T DWELL ON STUFF MAN. STAY BUSY.

IS SHE LETTING YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE MISSES YOU WITHOUT A LOT OF PRESSURE FROM YOU?

I GAVE MINE A LOT OF ROOM BECAUSE THERE IS AN AGE DIFFERENCE OF 10 YEARS....MY ONLY REQUEST WAS NO DRINKING AND TO CALL ME BEFORE SHE DECIDED TO HAVE SEX WITH SOME OTHER GUY. I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. NOT BE A CHUMP THAT WAS THE LAST TO KNOW. I WANTED TO BE TREATED WITH SOME RESPECT...THAT WAS ALL.

LUCKILY SHE NEVER GAVE ME CAUSE TO WORRY MUCH AND THROUGH HER ACTIONS SHOWED ME MUCH LOVE. I KNEW JUST HOW IMPORTANT I WAS TO HER.

FLEX...YOU SEEM LIKE A GREAT GUY AND IF THIS GIRL IS A GOOD ONE FOR YOU... FEELS AS STRONGLY FOR YOU AS YOU DO FOR HER...I THINK SHE'LL SHOW YOU.

I THINK GOD PUTS A BUNCH OF THEM OUT THERE THAT WOULD WORK FOR US, SO DON'T FREAK IF THIS SITUATION DOESN'T WORK OUT. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT SOUL MATE STUFF...WHAT IF THAT ONE PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU IS CHINESE AND YOU NEVER GET A CHANCE TO VISIT CHINA?? LOL... NOW THAT WOULD SURE SUCK!

YOU AREN'T BORING ME EITHER. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING THIS FORUM.

 

[flexmaster]

hey bro,
thought you could use some input... what you are going through would be normal.. considering the situation.. i personally dont know if i could go through with something like this, but knowing myself, and the trust issues i deal with, i cannot do long distance relationships.. BUT THATS JUST ME.. i have been burnt too many times to allow these types of relationships..
so, with that said, remember all you can do is control your own actions.. thats all.. dont outlash and say things that would hurt the relationship.. just hold your tounge, and try to trust she is making smart decisions with your relationship and you in mind..
and above all.. you are a following christian.. pray for her.. pray for her strength in this time in her life.. and also, pray for your own strength that He will keep you strong and faithful yourself.. we are all human and fall short of the glory of God, but remember this verse. "Without Him I am nothing, but with Him I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." Phil. 4:13

you can make it through this. and whatever happens KNOW that its in GOD'S timing.. not yours. not hers.. but HIS... so, turn these thoughts and things that bother you so much over to Him and your worries will dissipate into thin air!
take care..
Hambone

thanks maxsupplements, i have been trying to pray for her any time i feel bad about things. the long distance thing has bee really hard, but to be honest, i think it has brought us that much closer together. we've had to learn to communicate through email, IM, and the phone...which might sound easy, but i had no idea how much more difficult it is when you cannot physically be there, especially for such a long time. i appreciate your input bro, thank you.

WHEN YOU FIND A GOOD THING....A GUY WANTS TO KEEP IT CLOSE. MOST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP [LYNX] WAS SPENT WITH HER 5 HOURS AWAY. SHE WAS IN SCHOOL FOR 5 1/2 YEARS, THEN I WENT BACK LAST YEAR.

OF COURSE I GOT TO SEE HER EVERY 2-3 WEEKS...SO YOU'VE GOT A HARDER SITUATION THAN I DID. I WORRIED SOME AT TIMES AND IT WAS GOOD TO HAVE HER TELL ME THINGS. [THAT SHE LOVED ME AND MISSED ME ETC...] I ACTUALLY THINK YOU ARE OKAY. JUST DON'T DWELL ON STUFF MAN. STAY BUSY.

IS SHE LETTING YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHE MISSES YOU WITHOUT A LOT OF PRESSURE FROM YOU?

I GAVE MINE A LOT OF ROOM BECAUSE THERE IS AN AGE DIFFERENCE OF 10 YEARS....MY ONLY REQUEST WAS NO DRINKING AND TO CALL ME BEFORE SHE DECIDED TO HAVE SEX WITH SOME OTHER GUY. I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. NOT BE A CHUMP THAT WAS THE LAST TO KNOW. I WANTED TO BE TREATED WITH SOME RESPECT...THAT WAS ALL.

LUCKILY SHE NEVER GAVE ME CAUSE TO WORRY MUCH AND THROUGH HER ACTIONS SHOWED ME MUCH LOVE. I KNEW JUST HOW IMPORTANT I WAS TO HER.

FLEX...YOU SEEM LIKE A GREAT GUY AND IF THIS GIRL IS A GOOD ONE FOR YOU... FEELS AS STRONGLY FOR YOU AS YOU DO FOR HER...I THINK SHE'LL SHOW YOU.

I THINK GOD PUTS A BUNCH OF THEM OUT THERE THAT WOULD WORK FOR US, SO DON'T FREAK IF THIS SITUATION DOESN'T WORK OUT. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT SOUL MATE STUFF...WHAT IF THAT ONE PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU IS CHINESE AND YOU NEVER GET A CHANCE TO VISIT CHINA?? LOL... NOW THAT WOULD SURE SUCK!

YOU AREN'T BORING ME EITHER. I LOOK FORWARD TO READING THIS FORUM.

JT, i look up to you a lot. you are one of the people on here that i really respect and value your opinion whenever i hear it. yeah, she says she misses me, and that she cant wait for me to come down there and see her. she even made a list of things she wants to do (which isnt really like her) and she said she's got some suprises on there for me. since we have been doing better (the last 2 months or so) we have talked every night, before she goes to bed. if i really sit down and think about everything i know everything will be ok...but heres what gets to me...she has told me that nearly every guy is interested in her. and even though she is honest and says she basically has a bf, and doesnt want to date anyone, they still come after her. i HATE the idea or her going and hanging out with someone, and him thinking its a date, and trying shit with her, which has happened a few times. and she loves to have tons of friends so...i dont know. i guess its just one of those things i have to deal with. i get so pissed about it though

 

[Simone]

A girls point of view

Long distance relationships can be very tough. If you trust yourself being away from her then you should trust her. If she hasn't given you any reason not to believe that she has been true to you then give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure that she cares and misses you as much as you miss her. I do know from experience that pretty girls have miserable friends and misery loves company. Hopefully your girl has kind and true friends who will not fill her head with shit. Trust her don't ride her, call her but do not be overly jealous. Be confident not needy because no one wants that. If she sees that you can live and function okay on your own she will want to see you all the more. It will be okay, you will be okay no matter what.

Try this; when things get out of control or your mind starts to play tricks on you say to yourself "I can't control everything " 20X by the time your done you will feel much better

good luck and stay strong!

 

[flexmaster]

Long distance relationships can be very tough. If you trust yourself being away from her then you should trust her. If she hasn't given you any reason not to believe that she has been true to you then give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure that she cares and misses you as much as you miss her. I do know from experience that pretty girls have miserable friends and misery loves company. Hopefully your girl has kind and true friends who will not fill her head with shit. Trust her don't ride her, call her but do not be overly jealous. Be confident not needy because no one wants that. If she sees that you can live and function okay on your own she will want to see you all the more. It will be okay, you will be okay no matter what.

Try this; when things get out of control or your mind starts to play tricks on you say to yourself "I can't control everything " 20X by the time your done you will feel much better

good luck and stay strong!

thanks simone...i will try doing that when i feel crazy.LOL

about the comment about her friends...well, she has one really good friend down there named Des, and from what i know about her she seems like a good girl. i think things will be ok, but i will just have to wait and see to know for sure i guess.

 

[Phidias]

Well even if i find it hard to sound clever now that Sigmund Roid has exposed his take on the situation (and given you, as always, really precious advice)... here is my .02: DO NOT STRESS OUT! It's not a one night date, your relationship is a long time one. What i want to tell you is: you mean A LOT to her. See: when you broke, why did she come back if it wasn't for love?

Guys in Mexico? Sure she can be tempted. But only temporary. Maybe she will meet smart, good looking, friendly, funny ones... but nothing that you don't possess. Why would she go elsewhere when she knows deep inside her heart that YOU, Flex, match all those points? The same she needs to find in a lifetime partner, those she already discovered when you were living together in the U.S. Your relationship worked... SHE KNOWS IT. Why taking the risk with another man?

Don't panic, trust her, and much more important be sure of yourself. Don't overanalyse things and let her live those 5 months in Mexico. Calling on the phone or emailing 10 times a day will only bore her: show your love with some kind words here and there, but don't make her think you cannot live without her... there would be no more desire from her side.

Love is the greatest feeling on earth. But it isn't supposed to kill you...
So... TAKE IT EASY Flex. And take care of YOURSELF (even if i know the only thing you presently care about is your Girl...

 

[Kaiser]

As my wife Simone stated, "I cant control everything" does work most of the time for me and was told to me years ago from a great psychologist. Everyone has their weak points though. I used to feel the same way you do, but now it is far and in between. I had my heart broken when I was younger a couple of times due to the girls cheating, doing drugs the & the whole nine yards. The next few statements, I am not sure my wife Simone knows, so sorry honey ahead of time, lol... This is not to say this is what you are going through but there is a moral to it so here I go. Anyway, I was dating a girl years ago, and I was really unhappy at some of the things she did to me, but I kept dating her out of weakness. I then was in a bar and saw a good looking bartender. I started talking to her and found out that she was 5 years older than me, just my type. (I like women older than me). Anyway, I got her phone number and we proceeded to make plans to go out on a date. I called her the next night to plan out where we were going to go for our date and we got to talking. She asked me if I was dating anyone, and due to the fact that I am not a liar, I told her the truth, "Yes, but I am not happy in the relationship, so I am looking for something new. I just dont want to be alone." At that point the tables turned. She said, then I am going to do the best thing for you right now. I am not going to go out on the date with you tonight. In short she said I had to be happy with myself before I could be happy with anyone else. With this advice, I stood tall, took the pain, and broke up with the thorn in my side I was dating. Yeah, I cried a alot, and forced myself not to call, but in the end it was all worth it. I spent 8 months in pain alone and by myself, finding my inner self worth. The pain subsided eventually. My relationships from then on took a change for the better. I was able to please a woman mentally, to stand strong against opposition and stand by what I thought was right, but most of all be happy with myself which projects upon all people you meet from thereafter, even in business. In the end, she was right. I never did date her, but I did run into her a few years later as the new me and thanked her when I was about 24. I am now 35.

In short the moral: You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.

Like I said, the "I cant control everything" 20 times does help certain personalities. Hopefully yours too. It's not the actual wording that does it, its that by the time you get to 15 out of the 20, your mind drifts from its original problem.

Good luck and be strong brother, and I hope this helps. As a side note, thank you for your kind words about our problem. We very much appreciate it and you are a class act. A girl should hold you like china.

 

[flexmaster]

Phidias

Well even if i find it hard to sound clever now that Sigmund Roid has exposed his take on the situation (and given you, as always, really precious advice)... here is my .02: DO NOT STRESS OUT! It's not a one night date, your relationship is a long time one. What i want to tell you is: you mean A LOT to her. See: when you broke, why did she come back if it wasn't for love?

Guys in Mexico? Sure she can be tempted. But only temporary. Maybe she will meet smart, good looking, friendly, funny ones... but nothing that you don't possess. Why would she go elsewhere when she knows deep inside her heart that YOU, Flex, match all those points? The same she needs to find in a lifetime partner, those she already discovered when you were living together in the U.S. Your relationship worked... SHE KNOWS IT. Why taking the risk with another man?

Don't panic, trust her, and much more important be sure of yourself. Don't overanalyse things and let her live those 5 months in Mexico. Calling on the phone or emailing 10 times a day will only bore her: show your love with some kind words here and there, but don't make her think you cannot live without her... there would be no more desire from her side.

Love is the greatest feeling on earth. But it isn't supposed to kill you...
So... TAKE IT EASY Flex. And take care of YOURSELF (even if i know the only thing you presently care about is your Girl...

thank you so much phidias, it really helps to see your perspective on things. i will take all those things you said to heart, and do my best to do them. i hate it when i feel like this, and i want to be happy so bad. everything you said, from her and my past(not just a one date, but a longer relationship), to the way you imagine she feels about me and our relationship is spot on. i needed to hear some of the things you said, thank you.

 

[flexmaster]

kaiser

As my wife Simone stated, "I cant control everything" does work most of the time for me and was told to me years ago from a great psychologist. Everyone has their weak points though. I used to feel the same way you do, but now it is far and in between. I had my heart broken when I was younger a couple of times due to the girls cheating, doing drugs the & the whole nine yards. The next few statements, I am not sure my wife Simone knows, so sorry honey ahead of time, lol... This is not to say this is what you are going through but there is a moral to it so here I go. Anyway, I was dating a girl years ago, and I was really unhappy at some of the things she did to me, but I kept dating her out of weakness. I then was in a bar and saw a good looking bartender. I started talking to her and found out that she was 5 years older than me, just my type. (I like women older than me). Anyway, I got her phone number and we proceeded to make plans to go out on a date. I called her the next night to plan out where we were going to go for our date and we got to talking. She asked me if I was dating anyone, and due to the fact that I am not a liar, I told her the truth, "Yes, but I am not happy in the relationship, so I am looking for something new. I just dont want to be alone." At that point the tables turned. She said, then I am going to do the best thing for you right now. I am not going to go out on the date with you tonight. In short she said I had to be happy with myself before I could be happy with anyone else. With this advice, I stood tall, took the pain, and broke up with the thorn in my side I was dating. Yeah, I cried a alot, and forced myself not to call, but in the end it was all worth it. I spent 8 months in pain alone and by myself, finding my inner self worth. The pain subsided eventually. My relationships from then on took a change for the better. I was able to please a woman mentally, to stand strong against opposition and stand by what I thought was right, but most of all be happy with myself which projects upon all people you meet from thereafter, even in business. In the end, she was right. I never did date her, but I did run into her a few years later as the new me and thanked her when I was about 24. I am now 35.

In short the moral: You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.

Like I said, the "I cant control everything" 20 times does help certain personalities. Hopefully yours too. It's not the actual wording that does it, its that by the time you get to 15 out of the 20, your mind drifts from its original problem.

Good luck and be strong brother, and I hope this helps. As a side note, thank you for your kind words about our problem. We very much appreciate it and you are a class act. A girl should hold you like china.

thanks kaiser...i can really relate to your story. i dont want to get into it too deep because frankly its not worth the time, but i was cheated on twice by a girl 4 1/2 years older than me(when i was 18/19). i took her back both times, then like 2 days after i took her back the second time i broke it off for good and have never regretted it for a second.

i will try that advice you gave me about saying "i cant control everything" 20 times...i think it will work well for me. also, thank you for your words about being happy with myself, i have been working on it...thanks bro.

 

[bleeder]

Similiar traits

I have been battling Anxiety and depression my whole life. It took me many places I did not want to go. Mainly from insecurity. Insecurity is a huge TURN OFF to the oposite sex and must be kept at bay. One must seek counseling (best if you see someone) to learn to be secure with one's self alone first. Ananlyze yourself write down the features that you have that are attractive to others and then be totally honest and face the one's that are not attractive and also hurtful to you. You may find yourself lying to yourself about your weaknesses and this will not help you. Take on the bogus ones first and you will see changes to how people are attracted to you. But for you.
The bizarre thing is insecurity feeds more insecurity. Instead of people having mercy on someone who is insecure they shun them like pests. They may like you and love you but they get sick of you. And so it feeds more loneliness and insecurity until you are willing to do anything to keep the relationship going. At this time you are vulnerable to abuse and un-faithfulness. Your partner may be attracted to stonger bad boys at this time. Even though they may be totally bad for that person they are attracted to the security of someone who dont give a shit about what other people think and are seething in confidence. YOU NEED BALLS OF STEEL at this moment.

Jealousy is a killer to a relationship. It spews in insecurity. It also violates the FREE WILL of another to be with who they want. If she is pursuing others then she has that right. It would be wrong to throw a fit here. One should ask if this is the right person for me even if my love feelings have built up a dependancy on that person.

Build yourself into a person who is one, a person who likes himself and if some else doesn't than the hell with them they can just stay away. This will jump start the confidence in you. Stop worrying about if she is sleeping with someone and ask yourself this. Do I really think she would do This? If the answer is yes. Give her her free will to do what she wants and decide if this is really the person I want to waste time on.
EVEN THOUGH WOMEN SAY THEY WANT A KIND SENSATIVE GUY TO LOVE THEM AND HOLD THEM, DONT BELIEVE IT. These same women that very same day blew off the advances of quite a few nice guys and fell for a bad guy who was soothing in confidence even though he did hurt her. Now she was hooked and insecure for him. I bet right now there is a ton of women saying bullshit to my last comment but if you watch them and I bet they dont want to face the truth. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST, I KNOW I AM ONE OF THEM. I am consistantly being told I am HOT but after a night of romance I continually hear that I am a nice guy and handsome but......... And that's that. A week later that chick is with a confident loser and having a horseshit life. But she still digs that bad boy. The more he cheats on her the more she comes running. This is not just that one woman either. I was able to get a whole group of 25 to 35 year old women to agree that I was totally right. Even though I dont want to be. I would rather be nice.

Bad Choices: Jealousy, Chasing, Pleading, Calling to much
If you chase they will run. If you stop they may turn around to wonder why you have stopped. At this moment to not collapse but keep being aloof. Alot of times if there was any spark it will send them to you.

Good Choices, Counseling, Security, Confidence.

 

[smiala]

Depression is one of those disorders which most people face in there life as some stage for one reason or the other. If it's children the pressure of studies gets over their head and if it's adults the pressure of work attracts depression. Rather than going on drugs, one should look for the reason behind there problem . Keeping your self busy and changing the schedule also helps sometimes to get over stress and depression.
The best way to get over stress, depression and anxiety is to take a break from your regular schedule, go out, and take good sleep. This helps in clearing the mind and try consulting a specialist who can suggest you as how you can get over your problem. There are various prescription drugs to get over anxiety and depression, but these should only be used in accordance with the instruction of a physician and going on anti depressants should be the last option.

 

[mace123]

Depression is one of those disorders which most people face in there life as some stage for one reason or the other. If it's children the pressure of studies gets over their head and if it's adults the pressure of work attracts depression. Rather than going on drugs, one should look for the reason behind there problem . Keeping your self busy and changing the schedule also helps sometimes to get over stress and depression.
The best way to get over stress, depression and anxiety is to take a break from your regular schedule, go out, and take good sleep. This helps in clearing the mind and try consulting a specialist who can suggest you as how you can get over your problem. There are various prescription drugs to get over anxiety and depression, but these should only be used in accordance with the instruction of a physician and going on anti depressants should be the last option.

Great first post bro! You bump a 3 year old thread to try and sell xanax and make money of peoples hardships. Your as stand up as they get...

 

[fajitas]

I have been battling Anxiety and depression my whole life. It took me many places I did not want to go. Mainly from insecurity. Insecurity is a huge TURN OFF to the oposite sex and must be kept at bay. One must seek counseling (best if you see someone) to learn to be secure with one's self alone first. Ananlyze yourself write down the features that you have that are attractive to others and then be totally honest and face the one's that are not attractive and also hurtful to you. You may find yourself lying to yourself about your weaknesses and this will not help you. Take on the bogus ones first and you will see changes to how people are attracted to you. But for you.
The bizarre thing is insecurity feeds more insecurity. Instead of people having mercy on someone who is insecure they shun them like pests. They may like you and love you but they get sick of you. And so it feeds more loneliness and insecurity until you are willing to do anything to keep the relationship going. At this time you are vulnerable to abuse and un-faithfulness. Your partner may be attracted to stonger bad boys at this time. Even though they may be totally bad for that person they are attracted to the security of someone who dont give a shit about what other people think and are seething in confidence. YOU NEED BALLS OF STEEL at this moment.

Jealousy is a killer to a relationship. It spews in insecurity. It also violates the FREE WILL of another to be with who they want. If she is pursuing others then she has that right. It would be wrong to throw a fit here. One should ask if this is the right person for me even if my love feelings have built up a dependancy on that person.

Build yourself into a person who is one, a person who likes himself and if some else doesn't than the hell with them they can just stay away. This will jump start the confidence in you. Stop worrying about if she is sleeping with someone and ask yourself this. Do I really think she would do This? If the answer is yes. Give her her free will to do what she wants and decide if this is really the person I want to waste time on.
EVEN THOUGH WOMEN SAY THEY WANT A KIND SENSATIVE GUY TO LOVE THEM AND HOLD THEM, DONT BELIEVE IT. These same women that very same day blew off the advances of quite a few nice guys and fell for a bad guy who was soothing in confidence even though he did hurt her. Now she was hooked and insecure for him. I bet right now there is a ton of women saying bullshit to my last comment but if you watch them and I bet they dont want to face the truth. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST, I KNOW I AM ONE OF THEM. I am consistantly being told I am HOT but after a night of romance I continually hear that I am a nice guy and handsome but......... And that's that. A week later that chick is with a confident loser and having a horseshit life. But she still digs that bad boy. The more he cheats on her the more she comes running. This is not just that one woman either. I was able to get a whole group of 25 to 35 year old women to agree that I was totally right. Even though I dont want to be. I would rather be nice.

Bad Choices: Jealousy, Chasing, Pleading, Calling to much
If you chase they will run. If you stop they may turn around to wonder why you have stopped. At this moment to not collapse but keep being aloof. Alot of times if there was any spark it will send them to you.

Good Choices, Counseling, Security, Confidence.

Wow, this is an an amazing post. I'm having similar issues currently and this is exactly what I needed to read. ( I know its old) Thank you soo much!!!

 

[Phidias]

EVEN THOUGH WOMEN SAY THEY WANT A KIND SENSATIVE GUY TO LOVE THEM AND HOLD THEM, DONT BELIEVE IT. These same women that very same day blew off the advances of quite a few nice guys and fell for a bad guy who was soothing in confidence even though he did hurt her. Now she was hooked and insecure for him. I bet right now there is a ton of women saying bullshit to my last comment but if you watch them and I bet they dont want to face the truth. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST, I KNOW I AM ONE OF THEM. I am consistantly being told I am HOT but after a night of romance I continually hear that I am a nice guy and handsome but......... And that's that. A week later that chick is with a confident loser and having a horseshit life. But she still digs that bad boy. The more he cheats on her the more she comes running. This is not just that one woman either. I was able to get a whole group of 25 to 35 year old women to agree that I was totally right. Even though I dont want to be. I would rather be nice.

Bad Choices: Jealousy, Chasing, Pleading, Calling to much
If you chase they will run. If you stop they may turn around to wonder why you have stopped. At this moment to not collapse but keep being aloof. Alot of times if there was any spark it will send them to you.

Good Choices, Counseling, Security, Confidence.

I have to agree with fajitas, that post of bleeder was/still is SOOOOOOO TRUE... and somehow that's sad...

Hope all is well for Flexmaster these days btw. If you read this, buddy...

 

[EVERLAST]

true

sux, but its true...

 

[J4CKT]

ROFL

Great first post bro! You bump a 3 year old thread to try and sell xanax and make money of peoples hardships. Your as stand up as they get...

My thoughts exactly! very pathetic... well said.