Hey Guys,
I rarely come here for guidance, but I need some.
My GF of about a year crashed her car today. This was the third time in 5 months. That's right.
I've raced bikes and been involved in pursuits in my life, and driving with her scares me more than either of those. Last one was a rollover total of her car which she escaped with cuts and bruises. Not this time, this time, she ended up with a fractured wrist. Her total lack of instinct for self-preservation aside, I need advice.
Well, her wreck today caused her to get pins in her wrist, an hour surgery. She lives about 3 hours from me and is in hospital overnight. I can't get there as visiting hours are over and her family is with her, plus I can't miss work tomorrow. I'm a contractor and University Prof., so I'm needed tomorrow and all week there. I plan to get up to her place Wednedsay, come back Thursday night or Friday and stay the weekend.
Well, she thinks I'm a shithead now.
My thing is, ok she had a wreck...again. She doesn't change her behavior despite the damage it does and she wants me there to console her every time. I'll be there when I can, as I love her. But she's fine and nothing I can do ATM. I'm can't just drop shit every time there's a dilemma. I've got a job and I need to keep the roof up here.
Am I wrong? Should I come running every time she has a problem? I never have for anyone and never expected it from anyone. I just don't know if I'm way off. Military and LE, and a host of other experience made me a different person. Maybe I'm out of touch. I really don't know.
Any advice is appreciated, guys and gals.
Her driving should be a minor, minor part of your relationship, but regarless, when someone is in the hospital or a jail cell, the time to talk to them about the lesson is when they are out.
Her driving is indicative of a terrible pattern in her life and is not just incidental.
My thing is, ok she had a wreck...again. She doesn't change her behavior despite the damage it does
At the end of the day the time and effort we afford to our loved ones will far outweigh: Its about priorities and, in my opinion, this isn't even a close call. This is your girl and all that goes with that. Her driving should be a minor, minor part of your relationship, but regarless, when someone is in the hospital or a jail cell, the time to talk to them about the lesson is when they are out.
1. Any work missed
2. Money unearned
3. Petty pride battles
4. "Teaching a lesson" as some posters seem to imply
Its about priorities and, in my opinion, this isn't even a close call. This is your girl and all that goes with that. Her driving should be a minor, minor part of your relationship, but regarless, when someone is in the hospital or a jail cell, the time to talk to them about the lesson is when they are out.
I would be willing to wager that the current two opinions that this may have been a poorly chosen course of action are the two oldest posters in this thread. Coincidence or knowledge gained through living?
I have to agree with Peckerwood on this. If it were my wife, I'd be there regardless.
I suppose she is not your wife, and you are not really that committed to her, or are you? Just like Pecker said, "At the end of the day the time and effort we afford to our loved ones will far outweigh....
But you can fix this
best of luck...
i take back all i said, congrats on the 21 year old. do something nice for her.
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