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Doggcraps humor

Tman2002

Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2003
Messages
535
I was just rereading some of his stuff and it cracked me up.

He loved ice cream and I said fuck it--get your protein in but pound down 1/2 gallon to a gallon a day before 6pm--he did and very quickly after that shot up up to 265 or so (with striations everywhere still). Moral of the story? I got no idea--dont follow that method

The largest pro bodybuilders in the last 10 years (outside of Paul Dillett who is a genetic alien and I think could grow off of mowing lawns)
 
LMAO hes one funny motherfucker. You gotta read some of his posts over on intensemuscle, sometimes i almost fall out of my chair at 5am at work when i read his shit haha
 
he cracks my shit up for sure, lol
frk
 
LOL yea DC is definitley a funyn guy. If you like go over to intensemuscle and read they have a post of favorite quotes by DC.


GR03
 
um ok?? :confused: :eek: :D
 
"i Don't Care What Some Buck Fifty Mag Guy Tells You, He Who Makes The Greatest Strength Gains Over A Period Of Time Will Have The Greatest Mass"

This sport is about extremes--using weights you havent used previously, taking in amounts of food to build greater muscle mass-in amounts you never have done previously, and doing the cardio to keep you at an acceptable offseason training bodyfat that keeps you happy. Get your act together and think this all out or quit your complaining and dreaming and take up tennis.

"I think there is a major problem when the easiest, cheapest and most potent things are right in front of people and they are off searching for substance B-737 undecylate in bulgaria"

"--If you weigh 200lbs and-if you were on the absolutely 100% perfected by science bodybuilding training program, if you were on the absolutely 100% perfected by science bodybuilding supplement program, and you were on the absolutely 100% perfected by science bodybuilding gh and steroid program ......and you ate like a 13 year old girl scout....YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE IN THIS SPORT MUSCLE WISE"
 
"If you double triple or quadruple your training weights in good safe form over the next year/s or so your basically (with diet) going to be double or triple your current muscular size. If your going to sit there and overanalyze this shit like its rocket science (which it isnt I dont care what anyone tries to make it out to be) and worry about things that really arent going to add up to pounds of muscle mass, then blame yourself when you never get there."

"I want you guys to feel you way thru all this and pick and choose what exercises work best for you rest paused--you know alot of them that I like but hell if seated cable rows for 12-20rp feel like it destroys your back--be my guest (BUT IF I HEAR OR SEE ANY OF YOU DOING ANKLE KICKBACKS FROM A LOW PULLEY ATTACHEMENT WITH A FUZZY ANKLE BRACELET ON FOR HAMSTRINGS DC STYLE--IM GOING TO BUST YOUR ASS ON IT IN AN OPEN FORUM)"

"middle of the nite)--if they get hungry they either eat like 6 or i have them make a zero carb protein drink in water at meal 6 and put it in the bathroom so when they get up in the middle of the nite to urinate they down it (Just dont be so groggy you piss in the shake and down it-lol)"

"I see the problem right off the bat--why are you eating like its 4 weeks out from a show when your in offseason gaining mode? Egg whites and chicken all day--you might as well go on tuna and rice cakes. This is offseason my man, red meat, steak, hamburger, whole eggs etc etc (mcdonalds, wendys, burger king--eat as many double burgers as you can (hold the mayo) so many burgers you cant eat the fries)---I look above and it looks like you start your carb cuttoff at 10am? Broccoli, Cauliflower, Salad for your 3rd 4th and 5th meals? Chow down!!!! trust in your cardio on off training days and your carb cuttoffs. Your 182lbs and your eating what a 160lb guy eats."

" I dont think Im asking for much--5 worksets "

And theres been many a time I pussed out like a blatant candyass at 17-18reps because I couldnt take the pain anymore---those are the times i go home and put on a girlscout uniform, do a little needlepoint and cry myself to sleep.

"Trust me skip, Ive dieted down twice for shows (before pulling out due to overwhelming work priorities) twice before and it doesnt get much better than whats seen. True story-Im walking out of the gym one day and this mother (no not a MILF JIM!)and her 2 little boys are there--one says"wow your big make a muscle!"--I pulled up my sleeve and flexed the pipe and the kid goes "Flex!"....I said "I am!"....him:"no your not"....me"yes i am!!!".......I walked away with my tail between my legs and decided at that point forward if I ever get asked that question again, Im going to drop my sweats and hit a quad shot, I dont care if its in church."

"Or the constant complaining like "christ i used to incline press (*yea with a 8 inch bounce and your partner pulling up 40lbs of it) 225x6 and now with controlling the descent I was only able to do 185 x 8 first time out---well shucks Bucky welcome to the world of lifting correctly to actually gain muscle mass. Guess what? Im going to make you so strong in such a short time that your old poundages will be a distant memory and even better you're training partner wont be getting bigger biceps spotting you and you wont be cheating your ass off doing it. "
 
Im having a good time readin through that post and pickin out the good/funny ones haha

"Note to self: things to do

1)Website
2)Write that book that everyone wants me to write so all this stuff wont be so jumbled up
3)Send xmas cards to everyone I refused to train because I know I pissed off alot of people (its 100% my way or no way with the people I train personally or I walk)
4)Never train legs with MassiveG or Ill be fetching 45's all day long for him. I feel my quads are one of my better bodyparts but i might feel like Frank Zane standing next to Tom Platz comparing thighs--I dont need the ego hit
5)Look for any loose change that might be hidden in Silverbacks back double bicep shot
6)Get my Trueprotein.com business partner to stop freebasing Ion Exchange Whey protein CFM in his office.
7) Finally get the penile extension so my wife can throw horseshoes at me (some kind of fetish she has)
8) make sure those pictures I took when I was young and needed the money for "Loins Ablaze" magazine never make it to the viewing public.
9)finish up the damn articles Im supposed to write for the various bbing mags and outlets
10)Watch babygetoboys move from Detroit to Southern California and then live my life vicariously thru him as he "tags more ass than a cattle prod"
11)Gather everyone together in this forum to perform an intervention to confront Inhuman on his addiction to protein. The scraping up of roadkill "Dante Im upping the protein bro" on route 405 near Lake Forest Drive in Irvine has got to stop!
12)Finally get down to growing that mullet I want to grow--a certified "Kentucky waterfall"
13)hook this computer up right so the toilets stop flushing everytime I hit the tab key
14) find out who this Doggcrapp guy is and starting DC training myself
15) trade in my 13 awards for "Muscle Mayhems idiot of the month" to chad for a t-shirt
16) make sure i dont get bitchslapped by Richard Simmons
17) Ill take antiestablishmental totalitarianism and asian sluts for 500 Alex and I would like to buy a vowel
18) stop clogging the epilady when I shave my back
19) Get the owner of the all you can eat buffet down the street to somehow like me and welcome me there
20) Write my congressman to enact a law that arrests and prosecutes anyone that does a 2-3 inch range of motion leg press, hack squat or regular squat or that tells you they have "a nephew who is 19 and about your size or a little bit bigger and he benches 600 and has 27 inches arms".
 
"FH coined the phrase "clusterfuck" training and I have to just sit back and laugh when I see that post on bodybuilding.com "MY 5x5, HST, DFT, DFST, DC, Westside Hybrid" .....Huh? 6 months down the road how the hell do you know what actually worked and what didnt? Talk about overanalyzing your buck 63 ass off. "
 
TP4u good shit man, he has me rollin when i read that shit lol
frk
 
LMAO

"And theres been many a time I pussed out like a blatant candyass at 17-18reps because I couldnt take the pain anymore---those are the times i go home and put on a girlscout uniform, do a little needlepoint and cry myself to sleep."


Thats the best i've seen yet
 
"tags more ass than a cattle prod"

Gawddamn that's some funny stuff, I'm whiping tears from my eyes here, keep 'em coming....
 
# 7, 11, 13 . . . fuzzy ankle braclet, pissin in the protein drink, pussed out like a blaytant candyass, droppin pants and hittin a quad shot regardless of church ROFLMFAO! There are more funny assed ones on that board i just didnt search for them, maybe later. This is enough humor to last me for a few days!
 

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