Embarassment giving specimen...

[Pekkerwood]

I the only one slightly embarassed when dropping off a specimen for fertility testing as a part of HRT?

I drop off my "package" this morning at the doctor's office. One of the three young ladies behind the counter asks me "Is that your specimen?" I thinking "Yeah, who elses "specimen" would I be bringing in?" She then asks "Was this gathered within the last hour?" Well, yes, however she says this in a voice loud enough that the four ladies waiting in the office now know they have a masterbater in their prescence, who in fact committed this vile act upon himself within the hour, and just maybe didn't even wash his hands!

She now takes my specimen which I have "harvested" earlier (Thank you pictorial review of "Friday Night Lights" cheerleaders, and hands it to the other young lady for inspection. Now what exactly are they looking for and how will I be judged? Volume? Thickness? Color?. I thought the examination of this specimen would be more scientific in nature involving autoclaves and microscopes and the like rather than a couple of young ladies smacking gum and comparing mine with what they may have swallowed Saturday Night!. Either way I began to feel inadequate, not knowing what the "Norms" are.

Maybe I am being too paranoid. Maybe I was off the charts good, and they were wondering whethe to save some of my "seed" to use on themselves should they wish to get pregnant with a good looking, intelligent, humble guy. This further raises a new set of issues. If they do this will I be responsibe for support? Can the kid even get into a good college with the competition these days? I better stop this now as I am still on heart medications from last year and it is not good to worry.

Pekkerwood

 

[drwost]

My experience was when we arrived at the clinic, there were about 25 people in the waiting room. We registered at the desk and the secretary reviews the info and hands the 'cup" over to me and explains what is needed. So I ask where am supposed to go? I wasn't about to do it in the waiting room. She points to a door and says the bathroom is there. The bathroom! right there off the waiting room! Everyone knows what I am to do...will they judge my time? and then all the other worries about volume etc.

 

[Diet Coke]

that's kinda a funny story though if you think about it.

anyone remember the fertility doc that impregnated 1000's of women with his own seed?
It was in the news some time ago he switched the samples from the donors they selected to his stuff and whooooooola........he's got 100's of off spring....if not 1,000's they think...

 

[thebrick]

that's too funny Pekkerwood. Geez, it could have been worse though... maybe she could have got on the intercom and proclaimed "Sperm check on aisle 3! Sperm check on aisle 3!" (click) …or 3 nurses behind a desk could have held up score cards? 8! 5! 10! (applause!) See you in the finals!

 

[Metal]

U had to rub it out yourself?

At my clinic, I would have taken 1 or 2 of those ladies into a room and have them aquire the sample themselves.

 

[JuiceRoad.com]

that's too funny Pekkerwood. Geez, it could have been worse though... maybe she could have got on the intercom and proclaimed "Sperm check on aisle 3! Sperm check on aisle 3!" (click) …or 3 nurses behind a desk could have held up score cards? 8! 5! 10! (applause!) See you in the finals!

thats some funny story. If a guy has paralysed hands then can nurses do this for him?

 

[wrought]

how will I be judged? Volume? Thickness? Color?

Nothing that complicated.....

 

[scott123456789]

I have a similar story. I had to take a Urine Drug test and I had trouble going. I had to take a 3 hours psych test later that day for a new job etc and it was giving me stage freight. I drank 3 bottles of water. The nurse spoke loudly so everyone in the waiting room could hear her. She said i was having some trouble etc and I needed to CUM int he glass. There were all mothers with kids in the waiting room. I just had to pee not CUM She said I had to fill up to a mark on the urine specimine container. I proceed to FILL THE WHOLE THING TILL THE TOP. The Nurse said in a loud voice. WOW. He filled the who thing. The woman in the waring room thoguth that I Ejacu lated a lot and smiled at me. Hee Hee.

 

[Pekkerwood]

Brick: That is about what it felt like.

Wrought: I believe that would be the ultimate judge.

I guess the it was uncomfortable just because I had not done it b4. I mean give the specimen. I have done the extraction process b4...once....back in high school.

 

[Dr.S]

I the only one slightly embarassed when dropping off a specimen for fertility testing as a part of HRT?

I drop off my "package" this morning at the doctor's office. One of the three young ladies behind the counter asks me "Is that your specimen?" I thinking "Yeah, who elses "specimen" would I be bringing in?" She then asks "Was this gathered within the last hour?" Well, yes, however she says this in a voice loud enough that the four ladies waiting in the office now know they have a masterbater in their prescence, who in fact committed this vile act upon himself within the hour, and just maybe didn't even wash his hands!

She now takes my specimen which I have "harvested" earlier (Thank you pictorial review of "Friday Night Lights" cheerleaders, and hands it to the other young lady for inspection. Now what exactly are they looking for and how will I be judged? Volume? Thickness? Color?. I thought the examination of this specimen would be more scientific in nature involving autoclaves and microscopes and the like rather than a couple of young ladies smacking gum and comparing mine with what they may have swallowed Saturday Night!. Either way I began to feel inadequate, not knowing what the "Norms" are.

Maybe I am being too paranoid. Maybe I was off the charts good, and they were wondering whethe to save some of my "seed" to use on themselves should they wish to get pregnant with a good looking, intelligent, humble guy. This further raises a new set of issues. If they do this will I be responsibe for support? Can the kid even get into a good college with the competition these days? I better stop this now as I am still on heart medications from last year and it is not good to worry.

Pekkerwood

Did she taste it for consistency and texture?

 

[Paul Bunyan]

Thanks for the laugh guys. hahahahhahahahahahahaha


PB

 

[GoneForever]

It would have been awesome if you brought in a water gallon filled with glue or something creative to look like spooze. Just have the cap kinda half on/half off and slam it on the table so little bits fly all over the waiting room.

 

[hotttsauce]

I the only one slightly embarassed when dropping off a specimen for fertility testing as a part of HRT?

I drop off my "package" this morning at the doctor's office. One of the three young ladies behind the counter asks me "Is that your specimen?" I thinking "Yeah, who elses "specimen" would I be bringing in?" She then asks "Was this gathered within the last hour?" Well, yes, however she says this in a voice loud enough that the four ladies waiting in the office now know they have a masterbater in their prescence, who in fact committed this vile act upon himself within the hour, and just maybe didn't even wash his hands!

She now takes my specimen which I have "harvested" earlier (Thank you pictorial review of "Friday Night Lights" cheerleaders, and hands it to the other young lady for inspection. Now what exactly are they looking for and how will I be judged? Volume? Thickness? Color?. I thought the examination of this specimen would be more scientific in nature involving autoclaves and microscopes and the like rather than a couple of young ladies smacking gum and comparing mine with what they may have swallowed Saturday Night!. Either way I began to feel inadequate, not knowing what the "Norms" are.

Maybe I am being too paranoid. Maybe I was off the charts good, and they were wondering whethe to save some of my "seed" to use on themselves should they wish to get pregnant with a good looking, intelligent, humble guy. This further raises a new set of issues. If they do this will I be responsibe for support? Can the kid even get into a good college with the competition these days? I better stop this now as I am still on heart medications from last year and it is not good to worry.

Pekkerwood

I have no idea how ya did it!!!!! I need lit candles, mood lighting, just the right music ..... lol! I would walked outta there with icing all over my face, go up to the desk and say, "I missed, can I have another container and magazine" and start licking my fingers ...... Man That Is So Gross, But Yet Funny!

 

[MAINEVENT]

that's too funny Pekkerwood. Geez, it could have been worse though... maybe she could have got on the intercom and proclaimed "Sperm check on aisle 3! Sperm check on aisle 3!" (click) …or 3 nurses behind a desk could have held up score cards? 8! 5! 10! (applause!) See you in the finals!

LMAO.

Pekk: Good thing the lady behind the counter wasn't the lady from the gym.....now that would have been hilarious.

 

[Turk]

I remember going to a hopsital apointment (very kindly didn't send me the letter, just called me to ask if i could be there in an hour), turned up and was asked 'did you bring your specimin?'
*confused look* 'wha?'
'We need a specimin, one second' *rumaging behind the desk with me wondering what the hell kind of specimin do they need, i have something wrong with my brain, wtf?*

So she produces this jar and directs me down to the toilets and says to leave it on the side when i'm done, so i stand there trying to force something out (because i went before i came, don't want to be sat around ages needing to go), and then find where the hell i'm meant to leave this damned sample.

Turns out i'm in the female cubicle, i wander out confused, look around a bit, find the mens and its gigantic stack of samples (ewwwww), and try to balance mine on 'the side' before making my way back to my damned apointment.

Its a damned shame the nurse was so hot, because its hard to be suave and sophisticated wandering around with a cup of urine.

 

[James]

Hahahhaha, funny shit man... I hear ya though.

When I had mine done almost a year ago... I lived a ways away from the hospital.... so she gave me the cup and I was like WTF am I supposed to do? Well being the shameless grunt that I am, I collected the specimen in my car in the hospital parking lot... I think I still had a bead of sweat dripping on my forehead from the session as I dropped off the specimen at the front desk about 15 minutes after she gave it to me. I can only imagine what she was thinking lol.

 

[edge250]

you shoulda just peeled the label off a jar of mayonaisse and handed it to her, lol.

 

[Tyrone]

Hahaha!! Funny ass story Pekkerwood!!

 

[scott123456789]

It was really funny when the nurse assistent said I have to cum in the spec jar to at leasta certain level for the test. The woman in the waiting room heard her. The Nurse really meant pee for the drug test. It was so funny when I can out and she said I filled the speciamin jar to the top. She said WOW. The smiled and smirks from the people int he waiting room. I think they must have thoguth I was Peter North.

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Holy cow.

I think that would suck. I actually get embarrassed about crap like that.