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Ended 2 year relationship

ENJOYLIFE88

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I just recently broke up with my gf of two years. Probably the most passionate relationship I've been in. She was very good to me in some ways (loyalty, cooked for me, amazing sex all the time) but very disrespectful in some ways (lack of empathy, coldness, not handling her liquor and even getting violent and saying hurtful things at times when she would drink) I should of had the balls to leave her a while ago fellas but I was too immature to do it at the time. Its hard to leave a drop dead gorgeous, talented, intelligent woman that is really into you.

I'm 24, she helped me out a lot with my career and gave me the balls to become an entrepreneur. For that I am forever thankful. We said our goodbyes today and she started crying and kissed me. Im having some serious issues right now with moving on even though I feel like I am the one who ended it.

1. I am feeling guilty for leading her on with kids marriage after I already had doubts about her several months into dating. The red flags were there, my spicy senses started tingling, my friends and family saw it...I should of aborted mission...but I didn't. And I feel like while part of me did want those things from her, I never felt 100% confident in doing it with her and that I may of led her on.

2. I had big plans...wanted to buy a house for her, and now my whole life feels upside down. The area we were living in was great for raising a family....now that Im single Im thinking about moving to a new state possibly just to start a new life so I can grow as a person. What do you guys think of this?

3. I don't like the thought of her being with someone else, even though I feel sorry for the guy that ends up with her I do love her and like most of you brothers with your chick was always very protective of her.

Now so you guys can get a little more insight, she has SERIOUS childhood trauma/daddy issues and comes from a family with a lot of mental issues... so I feel like genetics and how she grew up may be a factor here. (the suicide attempts, the disturbing thoughts, lack of empathy, etc)

I truly believe she suffers from narcissist personality disorder and some possible borderline personality disorder....and lacks the ability to feel for other peoples feelings, and I know there is no changing a narcissist. When I told her the reasons why I left her, she just took it as me attacking her and not being "strong enough mentally" to handle her.

For example, when I would get mad at her for doing things like posting provocative things and showing off her ass on snapchat, she would say " Your immature and can't handle dating a hot chick". :rolleyes:

One time she was coming back from a bar I walked in unexpectedly and she had a guy on the couch! She wasn't doing anything with the guy or even in the same room as him when I walked in, but I flipped out and the guy got scared as hell. While it wasn't just the both of them alone there were 5 of her friends there with her ( I just happened to walk in when her other friends left and I confirmed this with her friends) I can't be with a girl stupid enough to have a guy over on a fucking couch! I don't care if your not cheating on me, its what it looks like. If a girl leaves me one on one in her fucking house, I assume she wants to fuck and I am fucking her plan and simple.

You fellas following my frustration here?

She will never change. She hates authority. And Im not some passive pussy thats gonna let a girl run a relationship and walk all over me. When I tried to put this chick in check, she would get confrontational and talk down to me. My only option was to shut up and take it, or leave the girl so I did. I should be happy this is over and that Im a free man honestly....but I'm not and I don't get it.
 
Last edited:

silverback66

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May 30, 2014
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Sounds like a mess bro, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Once you have that bond with someone it's hard to let it go. I can agree with you about the way it sounds like she treated you. It's unfortunate that it seems like it may have a lot to do with her upbringing and childhood issues which means it quite possibly will never change. That being said the only advice I could give is to make sure you feel like you did everything in your power to make it work before you move on..

Not saying anything directly about her since I don't personally know the chick, but in general, tolerating a relationship that isn't filling your needs will lead to a worse situation. I was with my ex for 2 years and I wasn't getting what I needed. She is a great girl, I love her to death, fun, cute and would have died for me. But because I wasn't happy I cheated, a LOT.. I knew she was great and didn't want to hurt her so rather than end it I just got what I needed from other places and I regret that with all my heart.
In the end she is still a fantastic girl and I know I missed out on something that could have possibly been fixed by talking to her and tryin to fix things so that I was getting what I needed from her.

I'm assuming you have tried to talk to this girl and express your problems. So if that's not working I'd say it's best to just move on.

You are young and not to sound like every old broken record, but there are other fish in the sea...

We have to have respect for ourselves even if others don't. So if she isn't treating you the way you want to be treated, express that to her. If she isn't willing to work with you to fix things then move on bro.

Good luck man.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
 

gungalunga

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The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.....go out and have some fun....you are young and have many good years ahead of you.
 

MonkeyBoy

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Sep 29, 2009
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You said she will never change....exactly!!! and its not your job got change her.

You don't owe her a thing, both people in any relationship know what can happen. IMO she is wreck. NO fukn way in hell I would put up with a girl who drank and turned into a bitch....no way!!!

The only thing that will make it easier on you is TIME. Yes, you could go bang some girls but not sure how you are, that could make you miss her more or not but either way, I am big believer in the only way to move on truly is time!!!!

Plus....I am sure you don't want to hear this but you are 24!!! Focus on you, be selfish and trust me....plenty of more girls to come you way!!!!
 

ENJOYLIFE88

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Nov 19, 2013
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Sounds like a mess bro, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Once you have that bond with someone it's hard to let it go. I can agree with you about the way it sounds like she treated you. It's unfortunate that it seems like it may have a lot to do with her upbringing and childhood issues which means it quite possibly will never change. That being said the only advice I could give is to make sure you feel like you did everything in your power to make it work before you move on..

Not saying anything directly about her since I don't personally know the chick, but in general, tolerating a relationship that isn't filling your needs will lead to a worse situation. I was with my ex for 2 years and I wasn't getting what I needed. She is a great girl, I love her to death, fun, cute and would have died for me. But because I wasn't happy I cheated, a LOT.. I knew she was great and didn't want to hurt her so rather than end it I just got what I needed from other places and I regret that with all my heart.
In the end she is still a fantastic girl and I know I missed out on something that could have possibly been fixed by talking to her and tryin to fix things so that I was getting what I needed from her.

I'm assuming you have tried to talk to this girl and express your problems. So if that's not working I'd say it's best to just move on.

You are young and not to sound like every old broken record, but there are other fish in the sea...

We have to have respect for ourselves even if others don't. So if she isn't treating you the way you want to be treated, express that to her. If she isn't willing to work with you to fix things then move on bro.

Good luck man.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

We left the relationship off Saturday with us agreeing to work on things. Sunday morning I woke up and ghosted her and she was left confused and upset as hell. Finally talked things out today but Im not going back. I just felt like there was too much bad history between us to make things work, and that no matter what I did it would never be enough. And the big thing like you said, knowing that she is never going to change. I am also upset about lost time....I would probably be further in my life right now if I found an emotionally healthy woman.
 

ENJOYLIFE88

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You said she will never change....exactly!!! and its not your job got change her.

You don't owe her a thing, both people in any relationship know what can happen. IMO she is wreck. NO fukn way in hell I would put up with a girl who drank and turned into a bitch....no way!!!

The only thing that will make it easier on you is TIME. Yes, you could go bang some girls but not sure how you are, that could make you miss her more or not but either way, I am big believer in the only way to move on truly is time!!!!

Plus....I am sure you don't want to hear this but you are 24!!! Focus on you, be selfish and trust me....plenty of more girls to come you way!!!!

Definitely not in a position to sleep with anyone else. She was great in bed...worried if I sleep with someone else and get disappointed Ill end up missing her more. lol
 

little slice

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'love' is nothing more than a chemical reaction inside your brain to drive you to reproduce.
 

tenny

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is that her in your avi....????

lol.
 

poopdawg

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Sounds like borderline personality disorder. Leave it and don't look back. Take it from a guy who married someone like this and later divorced.
 

shockmaster9000

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Dec 27, 2016
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This is female nature when left unchecked. Her looks have given her a free pass to stiff arm any responsibility or accountability for her attitudes and actions. They show you only the emotions they want you to see. A version of themselves they want you to see. Behind your back,, if you could see what they do and how they act, you'd never stop throwing up.

The only reason a few (very few) didnt turn out like this is because somewhere early on there was a good man with a backbone who taught them about respect and consequences.
 

el hereje

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This is textbook early 20s immature woman shit. Bottom line is you are better off without her and you don't owe her anything.
 

johnjuanb1

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She sounds like a self absorbed pain in the butt! You made the smart choice. To disrespect you by having a guy over on the couch is unacceptable. End of story!!!
 

NOSUPERMODEL

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Well...if that is her picture next to your name, I say just post every picture of here here and that will probably help you get over it.
 

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