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Fat bosses in the workplace

qbkilla

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Some people are meant to be leaders. Some are not. I have wondered numerous times why my ex-boss was not nice to me and treated me differently. I had to go to therapy for it. Sometimes it’s just not you it’s them. I like to use Tom Brady as an example. People want to play with him. He’s a good leader and he has a good work ethic. Love him or hate him I feel like he brings out the best in his team mates and that’s what a good boss will do. Bring out the best in you.
What on earth did your boss do that you needed therapy for?
 

qbkilla

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That's just a reflection of how they could never have the discipline to structure food as a means of achieving a goal. Food is one of life's pleasures and "normal" people only view it as such. The idea of restricting or avoiding this pleasure brings out the insecurities in people who hit the drive-thru every day as they are slaves and can't control themselves. I've dealt with this too.

Some people also have a hidden agenda with food. They offer it to people in an effort to be liked, get something in return, or to get out of doing something. I worked with a guy who was always bringing in snacks for the staff so people would like him. He never did his work, but everyone lets him off the hook because "he brought in those cookies." I don't subscribe to that.

Anytime someone offers me food I give them the same answer:

"That's very generous of you, but I'm ok. Thank you."

I say that with a pleasant demeanor. If the person accepts that, and they should, everything is fine. Of course that's rare and I usually get responses like:

"Someone offers you food and you refuse? What kind of person are you?"

"Aw, come on, just have some."

"You never take anything from me. You don't like me anymore?"

So when this nonsense happens, I respond with:

"I was very polite in stating that I don't want any. If you can't accept that, that's your fucken problem."

I say that with assertion and walk away. Later on they always end up apologizing to me because they're insecure. None of that guilt and manipulation bullshit works on me. I see it coming a mile away and shut it down.
I agree with the part of offering food and people in general who try to be nice because they want a favor down the road. Specifically in the work place I hear the term "this person has my back, this person doesn't have my back."

Also if you deal with the public, co workers assume you will have their back when difficult situation arises and get offended when you side with the customer. If an employee does a shitty job and the customer is right, no reason to back them just because they work with you. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

Now a days many companies can not fire lazy people due to hr fearing a lawsuit. I also find it annoying when people at work claim they are "underpaid" supply and demand dictate wages. If your labor isn't valuable, develop better skills. If your field is underpaid, find a new job or field. Something , a good or service, is worth what it can be sold for. An hour of a lawyers labor could be worth 200 because people will pay that for it. An hour of stocking shelves may be worth $10 an hour because that is what companies will pay for it and just about anyone can fill that position.
 

maldorf

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Some people are meant to be leaders. Some are not. I have wondered numerous times why my ex-boss was not nice to me and treated me differently. I had to go to therapy for it. Sometimes it’s just not you it’s them. I like to use Tom Brady as an example. People want to play with him. He’s a good leader and he has a good work ethic. Love him or hate him I feel like he brings out the best in his team mates and that’s what a good boss will do. Bring out the best in you.
I had a principal that treated me and others like shit. We had a veteran teacher that was then serving as vice principal, been in the classroom for about 35 years. That principal was new, a d that first year he literally drove that man to a mental breakdown. He had to take medical leave. I quit there too at the end of the year.
 

Cito33189

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What on earth did your boss do that you needed therapy for?
There is a very long list. In the end it came down to a lot of self reflection. I have a constant need to know why. I feel a lot of people lack common sense as well. In the end I came to this decision, I thought long and hard. I said what makes someone successful compared to average or sub-par. To me it’s having standards for yourself and what you feel your willing to except as an individual. As a previous manager I knew what was taking place wasn’t good business practices and I finally resigned and in my resignation I wrote what I am experiencing is not meeting my expectations or standards.
 

maldorf

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There is a very long list. In the end it came down to a lot of self reflection. I have a constant need to know why. I feel a lot of people lack common sense as well. In the end I came to this decision, I thought long and hard. I said what makes someone successful compared to average or sub-par. To me it’s having standards for yourself and what you feel your willing to except as an individual. As a previous manager I knew what was taking place wasn’t good business practices and I finally resigned and in my resignation I wrote what I am experiencing is not meeting my expectations or standards.
That principal at the high school I worked for was principal there for only about 4 years and then left. He left to be superintendent at another district quite a bit away, so he had to move. It was just a stepping stone for him, he didnt give a damn about any of us. The local newspaper interviewed him that first year and he said that he loved the town and would be staying there for a long long time. LOL. After being superintendent for some time he left that and now works for the state. Seems shit does float to the top!
 

qbkilla

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That principal at the high school I worked for was principal there for only about 4 years and then left. He left to be superintendent at another district quite a bit away, so he had to move. It was just a stepping stone for him, he didnt give a damn about any of us. The local newspaper interviewed him that first year and he said that he loved the town and would be staying there for a long long time. LOL. After being superintendent for some time he left that and now works for the state. Seems shit does float to the top!
We usually agree but it sounds to me like this guy was a success (even if he was a jerk). To me any job I take is a stepping stone to a promotion and make more money. I owe my job nothing, they owe me nothing, I simply provide them a service and they pay me for it. If I want a promotion, I should try and excel beyond my peers so I get that promotion, and more money, not them. I feel like alot of people look at a workplace as some warm fuzzy feel good family, and if that is their expectation, then they become disappointed. I believe a job should be looked at like a transition between a John and a hooker rather than a lovlely marriage. Both parties use each other, neither should love the other, lol
 

maldorf

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We usually agree but it sounds to me like this guy was a success (even if he was a jerk). To me any job I take is a stepping stone to a promotion and make more money. I owe my job nothing, they owe me nothing, I simply provide them a service and they pay me for it. If I want a promotion, I should try and excel beyond my peers so I get that promotion, and more money, not them. I feel like alot of people look at a workplace as some warm fuzzy feel good family, and if that is their expectation, then they become disappointed. I believe a job should be looked at like a transition between a John and a hooker rather than a lovlely marriage. Both parties use each other, neither should love the other, lol
Well, if you had worked for the asshole you would have a different opinion of him. Be thankful you did not.
 

0893

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We usually agree but it sounds to me like this guy was a success (even if he was a jerk). To me any job I take is a stepping stone to a promotion and make more money. I owe my job nothing, they owe me nothing, I simply provide them a service and they pay me for it. If I want a promotion, I should try and excel beyond my peers so I get that promotion, and more money, not them. I feel like alot of people look at a workplace as some warm fuzzy feel good family, and if that is their expectation, then they become disappointed. I believe a job should be looked at like a transition between a John and a hooker rather than a lovlely marriage. Both parties use each other, neither should love the other, lol

just curious, what do you do for a living? Sales?
 

beast405

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No.
We are not picked on for being in shape. If anything in life, it helps us and gets us more attention.
You and your friend had one shitty boss who didn't like you guys, that is all.
You're overthinking this.
Agreed
 

qbkilla

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just curious, what do you do for a living? Sales?
Mental health/behavior. The most challenging part of my job probably dealing with behavior of co workers than clients, to be honest. One time my supervisor let me attend a seminar for dealing with difficult employees/co workers. I'm not really a supervisor myself but most who attended were and it was definitely a good experience to see the supervisor prospective on issues in the workplace vs the perspective we typically see in the workplace " the boss is bad and mistreats everyone." There are definitely bad supervisors, I've had a few. But more often than not I encounter negative, defiant , confrontational etc. Employees at the lower level than at the supervisor level. Both supervisors and lower level employees contribute to a toxic workplace. The most common issue I see in the workplace are little cliques, sometimes they gang up on the boss, sometimes the boss is part of the clique, sometimes people get promoted and become a boss because they are in the clique. Lol
 

VaginaBoob89

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Probably a work place culture thing. I cant speak to the kind of people lining up to teach in a country foreign (except for a single guy I know who is a straight up good dude and friend no questions asked so my sample size is 1) but I am assuming most are people trying to advance or stand out in their field taking a similar job to yours. If they are indeed fat or sloppy AND ambitious, you have your answer. Its probably not so much the fat part.
You're probably completely correct for my case. I can't believe this had not occurred to me before. Yeah these places are fairly serious; the types they attract are quite different than a random english teacher at an after-school tutoring center in Thailand/Cambodia. One way weaker people try to demonstrate their competence to advance is by obsessively picking at the shortcomings, real or invented, of others. I was the newest foreigner and the little indonesian bro knows better than to ruffle the feathers of the local Chinese teachers and make them lose face; it's possible in this case it had 0 to do with fitness or fatness.

But it's interesting that some of the posters i this thread have had what can essentially described as "fit-shaming" in this and other contexts. I remember long ago when I was 24 and fresh out of masters starting my first job at a company that makes risk management software my boss revealed to me that they googled my name and found my youtube channel where I had some lifting clips posted. They were super impressed with my squats as him and the boys were just getting into crossfit/fitness. It can just as easily go the opposite direction where people come in with a positive impression because of your physique, and I notice this with my high school students all the time.

I guess it's just part of having a hobby that manifests with very large physical changes to your body; you're going to stand out and sometimes its for better or for worse.
 

OuchThatHurts

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What on earth did your boss do that you needed therapy for?
After the Tom Brady remark, I'm not sure it was his supervisor.
 

pimpman

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Man some of you have so much unnecessary issues. Thank god I have never had a boss that's treated me bad because of my size. Actually they always joke around. Oh but if we looked like blank we get her. Or some kind of joke but in good humor.

Actually I hate to say this but it's true. I had a boss that was so obsessed with how I looked that he ended going to the gym with me for a while. And then kept going on his own and even started juicing. He was also a part time state trooper cop. Well that went south when his wife started banging me and after a year he found out. Because she wanted to leave him and have me move in with her and offer to pay all my bills. That I didn't have to ever work again. I feel bad for the guy. I was young and stupid. Not to young but young . but good thing they got back together till this day.

There is so much to the story but you all would think it's bs lmao you have no idea
 

maldorf

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Man some of you have so much unnecessary issues. Thank god I have never had a boss that's treated me bad because of my size. Actually they always joke around. Oh but if we looked like blank we get her. Or some kind of joke but in good humor.

Actually I hate to say this but it's true. I had a boss that was so obsessed with how I looked that he ended going to the gym with me for a while. And then kept going on his own and even started juicing. He was also a part time state trooper cop. Well that went south when his wife started banging me and after a year he found out. Because she wanted to leave him and have me move in with her and offer to pay all my bills. That I didn't have to ever work again. I feel bad for the guy. I was young and stupid. Not to young but young . but good thing they got back together till this day.

There is so much to the story but you all would think it's bs lmao you have no idea
Surprised he didnt kick her to the curb! My ex-wife cheated on me, that marriage was over the day I found out. Nasty to even think about sticking my member in that hole ever again.
 

method2madness

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I had a principal that treated me and others like shit. We had a veteran teacher that was then serving as vice principal, been in the classroom for about 35 years. That principal was new, a d that first year he literally drove that man to a mental breakdown. He had to take medical leave. I quit there too at the end of the year.
I had a very similar situation in my school about 8 years ago. Overweight principal tried bullying the faculty. Some took it and other veterans like myself brought it to the union and he eventually had to "revise" his managerial style. Guy was an overweight unprofessional douchebag on a power trip. He lasted two years in my district before getting tossed out.
 

maldorf

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I had a very similar situation in my school about 8 years ago. Overweight principal tried bullying the faculty. Some took it and other veterans like myself brought it to the union and he eventually had to "revise" his managerial style. Guy was an overweight unprofessional douchebag on a power trip. He lasted two years in my district before getting tossed out.
Our principal started in on me early in the year. He took me aside and told me that he has known teachers who's careers were ruined by their students earning low grades. Not so subtle way of telling me to inflate the grades, make my classes easier and lower expectations.

The guy had many personal miserable. Even the director of nutrition was in tears one day with me. The principal was smart though and kissed the ass of the superintendent, they were buddies.
 

OuchThatHurts

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Man some of you have so much unnecessary issues. Thank god I have never had a boss that's treated me bad because of my size. Actually they always joke around. Oh but if we looked like blank we get her. Or some kind of joke but in good humor.

Actually I hate to say this but it's true. I had a boss that was so obsessed with how I looked that he ended going to the gym with me for a while. And then kept going on his own and even started juicing. He was also a part time state trooper cop. Well that went south when his wife started banging me and after a year he found out. Because she wanted to leave him and have me move in with her and offer to pay all my bills. That I didn't have to ever work again. I feel bad for the guy. I was young and stupid. Not to young but young . but good thing they got back together till this day.

There is so much to the story but you all would think it's bs lmao you have no idea
I don't think it's bs. Sounds rough though. Glad they were able to salvage their marriage. Glad you escaped relatively unscathed. I almost ruined my own marriage carrying on like that. Life is messy. The juice messes with your behaviour. But it's been 25 years since I had a supervisor aka "boss"..

Truth be told? I've never interviewed for a job. Ever. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. I had two partners in my business. Prior to that, I had the job before I ever walked into the building. Come to think of it, I was never even a regular member here. On this board. I came on as a mod.

My last supervisor would talk shit in the winter, "If you get stuck in the snow, come get Jon. He'll just lift your car out." (he'd seen me do leg presses). He was just joking though but he knew. He also started going to the gym regularly. He couldn't even do a single dip at first. I had 2 wheels hanging from me for 20 or so. Even then, I was kind of like *his* boss. I took him under my wing. I even did my own yearly evaluations. He didn't know my people or understand their cases or my job. He'd just dump the paperwork in my inbox and my sec would bring me my mail every morning.

Now here, I'm retired. I'm 50 now but I like to think I still have some mileage left. No idea what I'm going to do. It just has to be more than I'm doing now. Thought about maybe starting my own hardcore gym. Everything here is this pansy-ass LA Fitness and Planet Fitness BS. But the failure rate is huge on gyms. They never last. You wind up with 20 or 30 yearly members. Maybe sell some drinks and clothes n' at ya know?
 

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