Got an issue w/ a hotty i'm trying to get sober

[Gators]

A friend of mine is 37, red hot, and about through a nasty divorce, but has hit the booze hard, and i'm trying to get her into AA. We slept together earlier when we had dinner one night, next thing i knew it was 3 am and we were still going at it. Since then she's taken a nose dive w/ the booze and ambien to sleep. She's vulnerable right now, and i told her i'm not into this to get her in bed again, and i really am not, i just want to see her get some help, she needs a friend also. She's now coming out of the deep depression funk, and wants to spend more time together, and i know where she's going, she wants to bump ugly again. I'm conflicted, I wasn't remotely interested when she was so depressed, but now that she's normalizing, i admit the thought of her naked in my bed is quite appealing, i'm quite conflicted...

Any input, other than the "F her",

 

[EasyEJL]

Do you think that turning her down would cause her a self esteem hit?

 

[Gators]

That's one issue i'm struggling with to be honest, she has some issues other than alcohol...

 

[triathloncoach]

Huh

It's great to help people, but aren't you recovering as well? Are you concerned that she is going to take you down with her if you get too involved? I know the last thing I'd want in my life is a big drinker. I'd start drinking with her in no time flat.

 

[Gators]

It's great to help people, but aren't you recovering as well? Are you concerned that she is going to take you down with her if you get too involved? I know the last thing I'd want in my life is a big drinker. I'd start drinking with her in no time flat.

I'm getting her to AA into the hands of competent sponsors, they're waiting on her to finally come. No, there will not be much of relationship, it's primarily texting, and there won't ever be much of a relationship, but hey, we're human, we both like sex, and we were very compatible in bed... I'm not going to be around her if she's drinking...

 

[EVERLAST]

tic, tic, tic...

timebomb.
She will freak out or she will not.
Either way... you care.

I specialize in crazy hot chicks...
sex with crazy hot chicks is the best!
I got hooked on it...for real.
so be prepared or you will end up like me....
I went that route and lost a BIG part of myself trying to "help"somebody.
Sometimes the hardest thing is to let somebody else have their own way.

She must be the one to initiate her own sobriety...

 

[notsobig32]

so gatoirs, let me get this right she is recovering too????

Ok, from experience, recovery alone is HARD. Do you know how close i came to venturing back out into my addiction last week?

Just be careful, save your own ass first and help when and where you can. If she is gonna drink around you or anything, its not gonna work. She has to understand that you are in the fellowship to be a better human being and she needss to support it. She doesn't have to be involved but she has to respect. Just bec careful buddy. Your sobriety isn't worth it.

 

[Gators]

I hear ya Everlast and NSB, both of you make great points, points i already know, but needed to hear again. I'm thinking if she gets into AA and works on sobriety, then maybe, but until she truly is ready, i'm staying in the background. It's tempting because she looks unbelievable naked and is quite aggressive, and actually when sober is fun to be around, she also was my daughters teacher last year

 

[notsobig32]

I hear ya Everlast and NSB, both of you make great points, points i already know, but needed to hear again. I'm thinking if she gets into AA and works on sobriety, then maybe, but until she truly is ready, i'm staying in the background. It's tempting because she looks unbelievable naked and is quite aggressive, and actually when sober is fun to be around, she also was my daughters teacher last year

when you qualify the statement with, WHEN SOBER, she drops quite a few points in the 'rating' system. Know what i mean. If she is an alcoholic she can;t succcessfully drink. Just don;t let yourself get drug down bro.

You got out of one relationship and are rebuilding your life, thats what you need to focus on.!!!!!

 

[Gators]

when you qualify the statement with, WHEN SOBER, she drops quite a few points in the 'rating' system. Know what i mean. If she is an alcoholic she can;t succcessfully drink. Just don;t let yourself get drug down bro.

You got out of one relationship and are rebuilding your life, thats what you need to focus on.!!!!!

yeah, but a little freak every now and then is just right

 

[notsobig32]

well, being a single guy......a little strange goes a long way....well no it doesn;'t it leads to another and another.

but seriously, do whats right for you bro.

Ya know who would ever think BB'ers would have these many damn emotional issues with women etc?

 

[thebrick]

She must be the one to initiate her own sobriety...

Agreed. Many times when you try to pull someone out of a deep hole, they end up pulling you in instead. Take care of yourself first my friend.

 

[Gators]

i brought this subject up at AA mtg last night (minus the sex option part) and i got alot of great into, basically i'm just telling her when she's ready to stop, i'll help her via AA, and recommending a counselor, and that's the extent of it, i can't be sucked into her crazy world...

 

[EVERLAST]

As the official King of Fools...

As the Official King of Fools, Lost Causes and Broken Dreams...
I'd like to say..that
Yes, it is really nice to sink into a hot, crazy woman at about 38-42, coming out of a bad divorce. They are free and getting some strange and it is GOOD to them! They are acting out that freedom. They are becoming their own dream of being a single hot woman.They are convinced about what they want and dont want. They are usually upfront about it.
GOD that is incredibly hot to me.
I am like a bee drawn to a flower....

more like that Pepe Le Pew skunk chasing that cat cartoon.

Just be careful man. You are so vulnerable right now in ways you may not be aware of. I was. Man I got so fu^%$## up over this one chick. I am still sorting out the mess in my head. You spend a decade with one chick and then go to trying to nail a good percentage of the local girls and you can lose connection with who you are as a person. Get a real hottie and she becomes the WORLD to you. Lose sight of your goals and start trying to see things as "our goals". Helping her and she is helping you. Its natural, its easier...
Its easy cause youre used to being a team.

Give your self the gift of time. Get you as a person "gelled up" and sober.
Get your goals established and work towrds them.
If she is "your girl" and its "meant to be"...then nothing you can do will screw it up. If shes not then what does it matter how or when she rolls off.

So watch out cause I traced it back to the about that point where I stepped through the tripwire and it all blew up.

 

[Gators]

I hear ya, and understand, i'm very guarded, coming off a 19 year marriage, sobriety, and financial stress can be overwhelming, but i've been grinding my ass off, got some investors lined up and deal should be done in 2 weeks, worst of the divorce is behind me, and i'm still sober, going to meetings almost every night, working the steps, etc... I'm keeping my guard up, been about 2 mths of chasing strange, so got some sport screwing out of my system, i'm working hard on me, and every week one or both drop by to get their weekly breeding I'm not going to do anything w/ crazy one until she's sober and got her wits together better, then i might see if it's still as fun but right now i feel i would be taking advantage of her, and i cant and won't do that

 

[kineticenergy]

i brought this subject up at AA mtg last night (minus the sex option part) and i got alot of great into, basically i'm just telling her when she's ready to stop, i'll help her via AA, and recommending a counselor, and that's the extent of it, i can't be sucked into her crazy world...

i can't be sucked into her crazy world..
it sure is fun at 3:00am though