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Long time user FREAKING out waiting for bloodwork results

SlickNJ

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So- I’m a longtime member here and used to post under SlickNYC. Been using gear since I was 18 and I’m now 51 years old. For many, many years I’ve used pretty heavy doses ( 1000mg + of test 100mg tren/day ) was a common cycle for me up until a few years ago. I have been diagnosed anxiety/depression that runs in my family with both my father and sister being hospitalized multiple times. They are both on lithium and other meds and are unable to function or hold a job without them. Myself, on the other hand am able to function at my job but I have severe social anxiety that prevents me from living a healthy life. The steroids definitely haven’t helped and anytime I’ve tried to go off the gear I woukd be great for about 6 weeks and then crash abd end up basically “needing” the gear.
The reason I’m getting into this is to give you guys some background as to why I’m in this situation. Firstly, my gear use has given me high blood prsssure and gods knows have done what other damage. Secondly, my anxiety has prevented me from getting myself checked out to the extent of even refusing to get simple routine bloodwork. I know it sounds stupid and irresponsible and I just can’t explain this. I get super worked up thinking I’m gonna get bad news so I refuse to go get checked. STUPID.
Anyways, I had to go to the urgent care for Covid and they routinely checked my BP and it was sky high (175/110). I checked it a few times at home over the next few days and it averaged about 150/95. I had to find a PCP to get a Dr note for my job believe it or not- so I had an appt last Friday and the nurse checked my BP And it was 171/111. She ran and told the doc Who came in and asked me some questions. He took it again with the old school machine and said it was 150/90. He said not horrible but still high obviously. He gave me medication for the BP and had me do bloodwork in the next room because he was concerned about my heart rate which was like 110. It’s been 90-95 resting for the past week.
Anyways, my stress is that I’ve felt like shit for a long time and do have a few signs of kidney disease. I have bubbles in my urine- (not foam suds like a beer) but tons of bubble. Also cramp up like crazy all over which indicates an electrolyte imbalance. That plus the fact I haven’t had bloods done in 8 years and my elevated blood pressure likely caused some damage. I’m totally freaking out.
The reason I’m even writing this is that if there is anyone out there who is like me- I hope they choose to At least get regular bloods and examinations. I would like to hear from anyone else who suffers from anxiety/depression and how they felt the steroids affected them. Sorry for the rant guys and thanks to anyone who gets this far reading lol.
 
Go down to TRT 100-150mg per week.

What are your blood results?
 
Regardless of anxiety why wouldn't you just monitor your bp and take a bp medication years ago? You could have ordered a home monitor online and had it shipped to you. Well there is no changing the past only improving the future. Generally speaking tren is the worst thing for anxiety. If I took 100mg in 1 go I would 100% have a panic attack the same/next day. That's why I started using 10mg per day and upping by 1-2mg each day until I got to about 40mg per day and kept it there. Even doing it like that can be playing with fire for me but once I get to my max dose I usually feel great but definitely feel the difference (more on edge etc).

Any fluctuations in hormones can worsen anxiety and you have to be careful with what compounds and doses you use. Everyone is different but certain aas (tren, eq etc) are usually terrible for most anxiety sufferers. They can even cause severe anxiety in people who have never suffered from anxiety especially when using high doses. Knowing your age and your issues (anxiety, bp etc) tren should be totally off the cards for you now.

Do you do or take anything else that could be bad for your health? I would go on legit TRT and see what your blood tests come back like. That with the addition of bp medication should have you gtg in a relatively short time. Once you have your blood test results back you can work on fixing any issues you may have.
 
Go down to TRT 100-150mg per week.

What are your blood results?
Thanks for the reply. Waiting on the bloodwork to come back this week and stessed out. My blood pressure is high and untreated for years since I haven’t been to a doctor or had blood work in 8 years. Running a good amount of gear in my late 40s without monitoring my health is stupid. I woukd just get a panic attack anytime I was sent to get bloods and I woukd end up just not going back to the Dr. One thing that concerns me is that I was using gear that required a lot of volume. I swear it was almost like I could feel the toxins inside me the last few years. In my 20s and 30s I never felt any sides except sex drive issues. But from like 45 years old I would just end up getting sick after being on. Obviously the body can’t handle the same amount of gear or drugs like tren. But when I stop using gear and lose size it becomes a serious psychological issue. You walk around jacked most of your life it’s hard to adjust to looking smaller.
 
Regardless of anxiety why wouldn't you just monitor your bp and take a bp medication years ago? You could have ordered a home monitor online and had it shipped to you. Well there is no changing the past only improving the future. Generally speaking tren is the worst thing for anxiety. If I took 100mg in 1 go I would 100% have a panic attack the same/next day. That's why I started using 10mg per day and upping by 1-2mg each day until I got to about 40mg per day and kept it there. Even doing it like that can be playing with fire for me but once I get to my max dose I usually feel great but definitely feel the difference (more on edge etc).

Any fluctuations in hormones can worsen anxiety and you have to be careful with what compounds and doses you use. Everyone is different but certain aas (tren, eq etc) are usually terrible for most anxiety sufferers. They can even cause severe anxiety in people who have never suffered from anxiety especially when using high doses. Knowing your age and your issues (anxiety, bp etc) tren should be totally off the cards for you now.

Do you do or take anything else that could be bad for your health? I would go on legit TRT and see what your blood tests come back like. That with the addition of bp medication should have you gtg in a relatively short time. Once you have your blood test results back you can work on fixing any issues you may have.
Thanks for the advice and I know you are right. It’s one of the reasons I posted this is to really stress the advice you gave. I just hope it as easy as you just said and I am lucky enough to not be at stage 4 or 5 CKD. I mean look at Bostin Loyd and what happened to him at a young age. This guy also monitored his health regularly. I remember your handle and you have always been very helpful with advice and information. You have been telling people here to monitor their BP and health for years. I should’ve listened. Thanks again man l.
 
Thanks for the reply. Waiting on the bloodwork to come back this week and stessed out. My blood pressure is high and untreated for years since I haven’t been to a doctor or had blood work in 8 years. Running a good amount of gear in my late 40s without monitoring my health is stupid. I woukd just get a panic attack anytime I was sent to get bloods and I woukd end up just not going back to the Dr. One thing that concerns me is that I was using gear that required a lot of volume. I swear it was almost like I could feel the toxins inside me the last few years. In my 20s and 30s I never felt any sides except sex drive issues. But from like 45 years old I would just end up getting sick after being on. Obviously the body can’t handle the same amount of gear or drugs like tren. But when I stop using gear and lose size it becomes a serious psychological issue. You walk around jacked most of your life it’s hard to adjust to looking smaller.

If people get nervous in medical situations I would recommend getting blood work done through the post if possible. I would be fine getting blood work done at a doctors but I have always done it privately through a company online because it's hassle free and easy to do. I would try not to stress. Even if your blood work is terrible you will be surprised how fast you can get it back. Now if you have something more serious going on you can address that once you know what is going on. Although it's definitely your anxiety talking now so I would add in the bp medcation and try not to worry and see what your blood work states.
 
You are going to have to choose between health/longevity and looking huge. Both of them are not compatible. Firstly, you need to see what the blood work shows, then fix all the possible issues. After that, you should probably only do small cycles (ideally just TRT) and use less harsh compounds. At your age and having abused gear for so long, I would wise up and accept that you can't look huge all your life. The thing is, you should already have built a solid physique foundation and, maintaining on TRT or very small doses should not be as difficult as you may think.
 
Thanks for the advice and I know you are right. It’s one of the reasons I posted this is to really stress the advice you gave. I just hope it as easy as you just said and I am lucky enough to not be at stage 4 or 5 CKD. I mean look at Bostin Loyd and what happened to him at a young age. This guy also monitored his health regularly. I remember your handle and you have always been very helpful with advice and information. You have been telling people here to monitor their BP and health for years. I should’ve listened. Thanks again man l.

Boston never monitored his health until recently. Well he was worse because he got blood work done with Tony Huge and ignored it. Tony Huge was called asking if he was Boston and he said no (he paid for everyone and supplied his phone number). He was told to tell Boston to get to the hospital straightaway because his potassium was off the charts and he could drop dead at any point. He told Boston and he just shrugged it off and took some lasix and wasn't even bothered which shocked Tony. So he was aware of such things long before his confirmed kidney failure and still carried on the same path.

The difference for you is you can make changes. Let's just see what your blood work says first and you can address it when you know. Although if it isn't that bad you should still look at this time as a wake up call to make changes so you don't have the same thing happen 5 years from now. It's impossible to know without your results. If you haven't been pushing it recently chances are you are ok and you just need to make some changes and you can prevent some serious health issues. Get your bp in check and keep it there and avoid toxic drugs and you will already be on a much brighter path moving forward.
 
If people get nervous in medical situations I would recommend getting blood work done through the post if possible. I would be fine getting blood work done at a doctors but I have always done it privately through a company online because it's hassle free and easy to do. I would try not to stress. Even if your blood work is terrible you will be surprised how fast you can get it back. Now if you have something more serious going on you can address that once you know what is going on. Although it's definitely your anxiety talking now so I would add in the bp medcation and try not to worry and see what your blood work states.
Again, you are right. I can’t explain why I did what I did because it’s just not logical. No- I don’t do anything else that is considered unhealthy. Don’t smoke or drink. Anxiety obviously stressed the heart though. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope my bloods don’t show something really bad.
 
You are going to have to choose between health/longevity and looking huge. Both of them are not compatible. Firstly, you need to see what the blood work shows, then fix all the possible issues. After that, you should probably only do small cycles (ideally just TRT) and use less harsh compounds. At your age and having abused gear for so long, I would wise up and accept that you can't look huge all your life. The thing is, you should already have built a solid physique foundation and, maintaining on TRT or very small doses should not be as difficult as you may think.
You are right. First I’m praying for a 2nd chance. Then I will address trt through a doctor. I’ve accepted the difference in size - I don’t even know what clicked inside of me.
 
Boston never monitored his health until recently. Well he was worse because he got blood work done with Tony Huge and ignored it. Tony Huge was called asking if he was Boston and he said no (he paid for everyone and supplied his phone number). He was told to tell Boston to get to the hospital straightaway because his potassium was off the charts and he could drop dead at any point. He told Boston and he just shrugged it off and took some lasix and wasn't even bothered which shocked Tony. So he was aware of such things long before his confirmed kidney failure and still carried on the same path.

The difference for you is you can make changes. Let's just see what your blood work says first and you can address it when you know. Although if it isn't that bad you should still look at this time as a wake up call to make changes so you don't have the same thing happen 5 years from now. It's impossible to know without your results. If you haven't been pushing it recently chances are you are ok and you just need to make some changes and you can prevent some serious health issues. Get your bp in check and keep it there and avoid toxic drugs and you will already be on a much brighter path moving forward.
Nothing I can do now but deal with what comes next. Thanks for the encouraging words. I appreciate it,
 
Your experience has a question of the chicken or the egg theory

Steroids (especially hard androgens like tren) absolutely increase anxiety in people; they have a direct impact on our amygdala. You taking high doses of that for such a long time have probably exasperated the existing anxiety to a large degree which in turn has prevented you from addressing your health issues

I would be concerned not just with kidney markers on blood work but structural changes to the heart with such an elevated BP and high resting HR (prob due to an over-ramped sympathetic nervous system response from the gear)

Get professional help for your anxiety, go down to TRT, and address any/all health issues. You can reverse a lot of issues by pulling the breaks, and making lifestyle changes. Once certain things give out, you will forever be tied to a issue for the rest of your life which will both limit the life you live, and your lifespan.

P.S- Magnesium Glycinate at 500 mgs per day is tremendously helpful with anxiety
 
Your experience has a question of the chicken or the egg theory

Steroids (especially hard androgens like tren) absolutely increase anxiety in people; they have a direct impact on our amygdala. You taking high doses of that for such a long time have probably exasperated the existing anxiety to a large degree which in turn has prevented you from addressing your health issues

I would be concerned not just with kidney markers on blood work but structural changes to the heart with such an elevated BP and high resting HR (prob due to an over-ramped sympathetic nervous system response from the gear)

Get professional help for your anxiety, go down to TRT, and address any/all health issues. You can reverse a lot of issues by pulling the breaks, and making lifestyle changes. Once certain things give out, you will forever be tied to a issue for the rest of your life which will both limit the life you live, and your lifespan.

P.S- Magnesium Glycinate at 500 mgs per day is tremendously helpful with anxiety
This is my exact thinking. I’m also thinking about at this point is my high BP making my anxiety worse and will the meds help with anxiety as well as BP. I just started Metorolol ER At 25mg/day. The doctor seemed more worried about my resting heart rate but he doesn’t know about my use. Main concern right now is that I don’t have serious end stage CKD. After the blood results I will take things from there and that includes a cardiologist - I already have one,
You are also right about the chicken or egg with anxiety. Yes, it does run in my family but I tend to believe that if I never used steroids I would never have this anxiety/depression, I was fine even in my early 30s. Once I went over 1g test per week I was never the same.
 
Why haven’t you gotten any sort of medication for your anxiety? Zoloft changed my life!!!!!!!!! You need to get that under control and then definitely dive into your bloodwork!

Cage
 
Why haven’t you gotten any sort of medication for your anxiety? Zoloft changed my life!!!!!!!!! You need to get that under control and then definitely dive into your bloodwork!

Cage
I’ve tried many including Zoloft over a full year. Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, lexapro etc I also did TMS therapy which is magnetic therapy. It did help the first time but not the second course. During that time I never got the bloods I should have which might have helped with everything. I agree that the anxiety must be addressed since it is likely driving my heart rate and stressing the heart. I have excellent medical and I know there is no excuse to be In the situation I’m in. I actually have 2 bodybuilder friends who committed suicide in their late 20s abs early 30s. Both had depression and anxiety issues and you add that in with gear it’s just a bad combo for people like us. But again it’s all how you go about it and monitoring your health - both physical and mental. If you are healthy and live a happy life that’s the main goal.
 
Why haven’t you gotten any sort of medication for your anxiety? Zoloft changed my life!!!!!!!!! You need to get that under control and then definitely dive into your bloodwork!

Cage
Btw- I’m glad you found the right drug for your anxiety. Do you have any sides and does it kill your sex drive?
 
Working in the medical field, when people come in worrying about something I would say near 0% of the time does the person end up with the condition they are worrying about actually happen to them. Example; I'm worried my back pain is my kidneys and not my lumbar region...its never their kidney. Being an anxious person and the fact I convince myself I'm dying here and there I try to remember that what I'm worrying about medically is likely not to be my actual demise.

OP, the chances of you having a life threatening issue is probably pretty low. Likely you beat up your kidneys with high blood pressure and its a blessing that you are addressing it now. I agree with the above that a low dose of TRT would be wise while you sort things out. Make sure you are focusing on cardio near daily while you get that blood pressure under control. Lots of water and lots of vegetables are good ideas too. Beets work very well for reducing BP quickly, look it up.
 
Thanks for the encouragement and I pray you are right. I will be shocked if there isn’t some damage done. Mainly because I’ve just felt horrible for too long. Lethargic, overall malaise etc. I’m holding off on everything right now even the cardio, I’ll get the bloods back early this week so after that I will share the results and figure it all out. Best case will be a TRT dose of test gel. What do you guys think about hgh at 4iu?
 

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