Need my brothers opinions

[MAINEVENT]

I would like to start out by saying although I check out a lot of boards, I consider this my home board. You all have always been helpful and provide great insight when someone is in need of help. Im in a dilema my brothers and was needing a little guidance.

To make a long story short, my past year has been one of laughter and sorrow. My girlfriend became pregnant after only dating a few short months, then we lost the baby. I loved her anyway and she was my dream come true so I married her a few months later. I moved to where she lived (2 hours from where I work) because she had a house and I lived in an apartment. I have competed in 2 shows all while driving 4 hours total a day only 4 days a week, but worked 12 hour during those days.

My dillema is this, we are at a point of where I cant continue to drive any more. 16 hours of my day is taken up, my business is down due to not fully being mentally into it and we are up in the air. Im in a position to where my education only allows me to do one thing really and be able to make money to provide the lifestyle that I'm accustomed to. My wife doesn't want to move back (she's from my hometown) due to a very bad childhood and poor memories and the last thing I want to do is make her miserable.

I'll be flat out honest (no flames please), Im a chiropractor. To work for someone you dont make shit, to start your own business like some of you know requires years of constant work.
Im in a position where I dont know which end is up. Im not sure if Im making it harder than it needs to be.

What would you do? I know it sounds like an easy decision but if you're like me, anything left unresolved drives me fucking nuts. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks for listening brothers.

 

[Got Juice]

hey man sounds like you are in a bad spot. it seems like you are really trying to work with your wife on the whole matter. 4 hours a day is a little extreme for driving to work.

you said that she dosent like your guys hometown. would it be possible to move an hour closer, and still be an hour from your hometown? that would save you 2 hours per day.

i dont know the whole situation, but i hope you guys can work this out beacuse it seems your are crazy over this girl, and it would be stupid to split apart over something like this.

Take care,

Todd

 

[Renegade]

Well bro, I'll be hones w/u too, I'm one of the younger members on the board, but in real life, my advice is often saught... besides man, I can't just leave u hang'n, I feel for u're situation bro. If u ask me, honestly, I would say... do whatever it takes to make u, and u're family happy together... And I think this decision is not only up to u, and the members of this board, but upto u, and u're spouse... take a nice loooong talk w/her, put everything down on paper, and make a choice. People screw up choices all tha time, even if u screw this one up... now u know it was a decision u and u're spouse made, and hopefully next time around u'll make a better/wiser desision as a family.... Maybee it's b/c I'm young(19)...But what's there to flame about a chriopractor, I think it's a very respectable job title!
Light'n up bro, sorrow is never the answer... stay clear minded and focused, that way u can always look on tha bright side of things, and make tha best decisions.
Peace,
Mo

 

[MAINEVENT]

not that gifted with writing

Thanks guys. Im not that gifted when it comes to putting thoughts to paper/screen. I should clarify a bit. Its not that she's saying she doesn't want to move back but when you love someone and feel their vibes even when she's trying to hide it you can tell. We've talked about this long and hard to the point where I think she would like to kick me in the nuts (j/k). As far as moving in between that is something that would have been great but the town is a hillbilly/redneck scary town. I live in Columbus now and commute to the boarder of OH/WV. Not alot there. I guess more than anything I'm petrified to start my own practice. There is a lot more to opening an office than setting it up and watching the people come in. More than anything it feel good just to write it out and for someone's outside opinion/experience help a little. Everything is like a smorgasborg sp? in life, you pick and choose what you want to little to and put the puzzle into your life how you see fit.

Thanks for the responses guys, and Renegade although you are 19 your thoughts show you much more mature. Thanks

 

[big-al]

You and your family really need to decide on this one. One thing to remember you can always start a new business but your family is always there. If your relationship is as good as it seems your wife will support whatever decision the 2 of you make. Starting a business of your own can be scary and you may have hardships at first, but it can also be very rewarding to watch a new business flourish. Good luck at whatever you decide.

 

[vitor]

Hmm

Why dont you do this. During sunday-friday why dont you live in the hometown where your work is and come home on the weekends. Also meet half way 1-2 nights for dinner and drinks, visit etc. Since you dont have kids yet this seems like a great option to keep everyone somewhat happy. There has to be give both ways, I mean seems like she isnt giving, and you are. 50/50 my friend. My question is who's job makes more money and puts food on the table/pays the bills, or will pay the bills when you do have a kid.??? Marriage counciling might help as well.

 

[xcelbeyond]

As others stated, started a new business can be difficult but rewarding in the end. I'd consider setting up a practice and have other doctors work out of the office (not be psrtners) - maybe newly graduated ones. If you set up a thriving business and you're the only one there, it can become more of a pain, just more money than working for someone else. If you can make a "little bit" from several other's efforts you'll be helping them and providing more freedom for yourself.

xcel

 

[doug1]

not to take away from your wife's childhood memories or sound like some kind of redneck, but your wife needs to get over it! my wife of 8 years would follow me to the ends of the earth to be with me. to choose between bad memories(she can control what she thinks about) and paying the bills and having food to eat, etc.etc.etc... not very difficult. i don't know how firm she is about not moving, but if it is extremely firm than the depth of her love is very much in question.

 

[boing]

I would take the plunge and see if you can put together a plan to open a practice where you live.

If you want to be with someone it is not worth screwing it up because of work, and the stresses that you have are due to juggling to many balls in the air. Sooner or later one will come crashing down.

Find a location set up a business plan, financially it may be tough for a while but Columbus is OK wealthy town to afford a Chiropractor. It could be the best thing you have ever done!

Boing "the English_Bulldog"

 

[LATS]

HEY BRO,
starting your own biz is never easy. and to be honest it never will be. you must just take the plunge. but, do your homework. if you decide to move a little closer, do a demographic of all areas in between. find out were the least competition is that still has a decent population. that being said, i do not know much about your wifes situation. this is not a flame but, i do agree with doug1 on this. if you can provide a better living moving back , then she needs to take a deep breath and face her past. i would just sit down with her and explain all the advantages to it. one thing i can tell ya (being old like excel lol) is you can not run away from the past... better to face it and be a better person for it. what ever you decide good luck bro...

 

[MAINEVENT]

responses appreciated

Guys I appreciate your responses. I would like to emphasize though that my wife has not put up an opposition to moving back so much as Im trying to make the wisest decision for the future. You can only make so much and do so much when your contracting off of the owner. Also its a very boring town and if any of you know how smaller towns go (gossiping, etc.) you cant get away from people sticking your nose in your business. And most importantly the gyms are pathetic. LOL. However when it comes to paying bills, etc. I know thats petty and the last one would/should worry about. As you can tell no kids....YET!

What we have decided to do unless I change my mind again is to move back and give it a year. If were not happy then we'll move somewhere and start a business. Personally I've always wanted to open and health and fitness clinic. Chiropractic, one on one training, rehab, nutrition and nutritionist etc. So maybe that will be in the future. Thanks again for all your help. Lats if you wouldn't mind helping a brother out I would like to talk about your business experience in owning a gym to see if that could be a possibility as well.

 

[slide]

Re: responses appreciated

What we have decided to do unless I change my mind again is to move back and give it a year. If were not happy then we'll move somewhere and start a business. Personally I've always wanted to open and health and fitness clinic. Chiropractic, one on one training, rehab, nutrition and nutritionist etc. So maybe that will be in the future. Thanks again for all your help. Lats if you wouldn't mind helping a brother out I would like to talk about your business experience in owning a gym to see if that could be a possibility as well.

Hey bro,

Tough spot you're in. I don't know how happy you'll be in a year by moving back, but I wish you the best. I think you have your mind-set on starting the business, but haven't talked to the right people/found the "perfect" spot (if there is such a thing---Location, location, location). I'm sure there are more than a handful of successful businessmen (and women) on the boards who could offer up some advice.

Again, best of luck and keep the lines of communication open! Take care!

---slide---

 

[Willy]

Patients

As we get older the finacial side of life gets easier, being in business for myself has made all the difference in the world for me.

 

[doug1]

if you truly do want to start your own business than you should probably do it before you have children. i have two kids of my own and the last thing i will say on my death bed is "i should have spent more time at work". kids spell love t-i-m-e. there is NO such thing as "quality" time spending 2 min a day with your children.

 

[LATS]

hey mainevent,
if you want to talk about the gym biz give me a holler at my pm. ill do what i can to help ya with your questions..

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Tough one, but dude whatever you do..keep the woman happy! If she becomes unhappy, you will soon follow. I would start my own business, it is tough, but you will be unhappy working for someone and thats a double whammy! Good Luck