O/T Why i fired my secretary..

[njpooldude]

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning...

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.




Saw this on another site, and figured id share the good joke..

 

[kid1dakota]

Awesome joke!!!

 

[violentmessiah]

AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Loved it! Great joke!

 

[SacToSD]

hee hee

 

[Newman]

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.

Well, what else to wear on your birthday, but your "birthday suit"???

Great Joke Pooldude!

 

[Phidias]

LOL! Funny! Well, no so much if you think about it...

 

[optgrowth]

pffft lol

 

[JJ-INSANE1]

Ha ha ha... well today was my birthday but if i had a secretary and she pulled that i would have been the dumb ass sitting there naked!


Good one bro. I will have to remember that.

 

[aeliop]

I don't get it.

I don't get it, why did he take off his clothes?

 

[njpooldude]

I don't get it, why did he take off his clothes?

he was stupid, and thought he was about to sleep with his secretary?

 

[Snuka]

good laugh

 

[lookatpicture]

hilarious

 

[Ashop]

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning...

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.




Saw this on another site, and figured id share the good joke..

Thats the best thing that happened to me today,,,thanks for the laugh,,,reduced some stress for me

 

[njpooldude]

glad everyone liked it..

cuz i friggen loved it

 

[Jasthace]

Nice one

 

[Chrysler]

Today is my birthday! Nice to be able to eat like shit all day and not feel bad about it.

Funny joke. I laughed.

 

[Curiousity]

Funny joke. Thanks. Here's another one:

******

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

[Phidias]

Here's another one:

******
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

LMAO!!! Damn that was good! HAHAHA!!

 

[Jasthace]

Awesome !lol

 

[pimpman]

heheh