Oh man...
we seen TONS of these fuckers when we go play paintball. We usually get together a couple times per 6 months and shoot the hell out of a box of paint or two, and there is always some fat fucker in a pair of cammies so tight his face is beat red from the Blood pressure, and here he is running around like he does this every day. Stops, shoots, pants, runs,stops, pants, shoots, then drinks a two liter of coke in between games. Also: because they are so fucking fat, sometimes their fat actually ABSORBS THE IMPACT OF THE PAINTBALL AND THE DAMN THINGS ROLLS OFF THEM WITHOUT BREAKING. It's like they are wearing their own ballistics gel!!!