Psychological addiction to steroids?

[IcyChill]

I know there is no way you can be physically addicted but what about when your mind keeps telling you to do another cycle when you really don't want to in the first place. I have only done four cycles so far but i always told myself after every one of them that i wouldn't do it again, but i just keep doing it. I really don't want to do anymore, the reason being that i get some big ass stretch marks every time and they really don't go away and for some reason i just get really pist of every time i look in the mirror and see them. Part of me is telling me enough is enough and the other just never wants to stop getting bigger. Kinda of like when you want to stop smoking marijuana but you just end up smoking it again and again and again. I just feel like my mind is really fucked up and i dont know what to do.

 

[gelatine]

You can get psychologically addicted to just about anything. You need to take a step back and decide what you really want, because it sounds like you're ambivalent right now. If you want to stop, just stop buying the shit and stop going to gear friendly sites until you have it under control.

And unfortunately, the stretch marks are permanent, but they'll fade away to be barely noticeable over the years.

 

[Diesel City]

There are three voices always competing for your attention.

1. Yours. (Loud and self serving)
2. The world's (Loud and telling you it's ok to be self serving)
3. Gods (This one whispers and is always right)

You already know which one to listen to.

 

[mexbeast]

well whos's in control you or the gear? if you want to keep using go with real mild stuff like winny no more than 25mgs aday or masteron/primabolan at no more than 300-400mgs aday that way you make gains yet dont get the strech marks or atleast you souldnt, but stay away from test,dbol,a-50s and even deca!

 

[BigCracker]

Just before my 21st b-day I decided to do a cycle of Sustanon 250mgs/wk and 30 mgs of D-bol/day. I promised myself I'd only do one cycle. I kept that promise. I just changed compounds and stayed on almost non-stop for 21 years.

 

[hompie]

Just before my 21st b-day I decided to do a cycle of Sustanon 250mgs/wk and 30 mgs of D-bol/day. I promised myself I'd only do one cycle. I kept that promise. I just changed compounds and stayed on almost non-stop for 21 years.

huh ??

 

[ubermensch]

he only did one cycle, it just lasted 21 years

 

[ubermensch]

i've done just about every drug out there and hardest one for me to stop was steroids. i have no desire to use another recreational drug again but i miss being on. took dea knocking on my door for me to actually come off.

 

[dece870717]

Big ass stretch marks would come from 2 things that I can think of. You either gaining too much muscle too fast which might be a sign of you would have been able to gain just as much naturally and shouldn't have started using them yet OR 2 don't use high aromatizing steroids and adding 20lbs of water for no reason stretching the hell out of your skin.

 

[musicmann89]

self control...

 

[Trenman]

What's addictive is looking good. Just ask the women who spend countless dollars on facial creams or botox injections. Technically, it has nothing to do with steroids, per se.

 

[Trenman]

Now, is having a normal testosterone level addictive? You betcha. See, most men do have below normal levels due to pollution. They get on a cycle, and the very first thing they notice is they feel better.

 

[ubermensch]

addiction: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

 

[sundance]

AAS are definately mentally and physically addictive .No offense most of you guys that have replied have very little experience in taking AAS .I can tell by the way you are commenting .Most of you younger guys could probably get good results just from a good year round diet with a good workout routine .Something else you do not understand is you probably have high test and hgh levels already .Some people reach their natural genetic weight at different ages .If you look at most of the top pro bodybuilders .Most of them are at least in their 40,s and have probably been training since their early teens if not younger .I am a ex-world champion kickboxer .I am 59 and I am very addicted to AAS I have been trying for the last 7 to 8 months to drop back to a HRT dose of test .But I have not been able to do it .My health is very bad as a result of my body not being able to adapt to just one shot of 250 mg of test e .When before I could just barely maintain my strength and weight at 700 mg a week of test prop .I had to take at least 1400 mg a week of test prop to get just decent results .I just started legal HRT today with 75 mg of androgel .I do not think it will help me much .I have some tren a pellets in the process of brewing .Plus I am waiting for my order of test prop and anadrol powder to come in .I should never have come off as old as I am .I am afraid I am going to die if I do not start getting back on some quick acting gear .I have not been this small built since I was 15 or 16 .
I am sorry if I offended any of you .One day you will be a old man like me and still want to get up and get that opportunity to compete for a world title.Especially if you are like me and only draw a small disability social security check .If I could thought I could get back up and fight that world title championship mma fight I would do it in heart beat .It would beat the hell of the small monthly check I get now .I think I better stop commenting before I get myself in trouble .I wish I could help some of you .Maybe I can get my health back and compete in the masters in a powerlifting meet even if my total is only 300 lbs .I can easily do more than that now since I tried to get back into just doing the basic 3 lifts with light weights to try to start getting my strength on Monday.At least for just a normal non-competive old man my age .

 

[dieselbuilder]

i've done just about every drug out there and hardest one for me to stop was steroids. i have no desire to use another recreational drug again but i miss being on. took dea knocking on my door for me to actually come off.

Sounds like a story I would like to hear....just curiosity, not trying to pry brother.

 

[jplmain]

Gee! I wish I got stretch marks from gaining muscle. When I use aas I hope for a few pounds count your blessings you can grow.

 

[ubermensch]

i will tell story after i get sentenced, probably not best to talk about it until then. i will tell the story though in couple months so maybe help someone from making some of the same mistakes i did.

 

[IcyChill]

Its just ridiculous the amount i have all over my body. The worst is on my shoulders. I also have them going all across my biceps, and top of forearms,(where you would get blood tests done) pecs, traps and back. When my retard friends see me with just a tank on they say i either : look like i shoot to much heroin (from the stretch marks near my forearms) got hit with a whip all over, or got mauled by a tiger, bear, or a very large animal. fuckers. But anyway i was thinking of just getting them covered up with tattoos. I know for a fact its my fault for taking too much gear when i was younger and not wanting to wait to reach my potential, but even now after every cycle come more and more stretch marks.

 

[iprimate]

addiction: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

That isn't an adequate definition of substance dependence or even substance abuse and it falls far short of the DSM-IV-TR definitions of substance dependence and substance abuse. In brief terms, DSM-IV-TR requires three or more of the following criteria to be met to arrive at a diagnosis of substance dependence:

(1) Substance tolerance;
(2) Withdrawal;
(3) Substance is taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended;
(4) Persistent desire or unsuccessful attempts to reduce or control substance use;
(5) Large amount of time is spent in activities required to obtain substance, use the substance or recover from its effects;
(6) Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are foregone or reduced because of substance use;
(7) Substance use continues despite knowledge of harm caused or exacerbated by the substance.

 

[iprimate]

I know there is no way you can be physically addicted but what about when your mind keeps telling you to do another cycle when you really don't want to in the first place. I have only done four cycles so far but i always told myself after every one of them that i wouldn't do it again, but i just keep doing it. I really don't want to do anymore, the reason being that i get some big ass stretch marks every time and they really don't go away and for some reason i just get really pist of every time i look in the mirror and see them. Part of me is telling me enough is enough and the other just never wants to stop getting bigger. Kinda of like when you want to stop smoking marijuana but you just end up smoking it again and again and again. I just feel like my mind is really fucked up and i dont know what to do.

The quantity and extent of stretch marks on your body is unusual but it is unclear that you have a substance dependence issue. Gelatine's use of the word ambivalent is accurate and Trenman's highlighting of the aspects of AAS use that can lead to the sort of ambivalence you describe are also accurate. AAS are unlike drugs of dependence in that they yield a tangible, lasting benefit i.e. bigger muscles and as Trenman pointed out big muscles in turn produce benefits: sexual attractiveness, feelings of physical security, improved job performance (in some cases eg. security guard, bouncer) and improved marketability of self (in some cases eg. male model). Contrast this with the usual drugs of dependence, at best they produce a euphoria that lasts for a hours and feeling of malaise inevitably follows the high and you have nothing to show for the use of the substance.

What you describe in relation to AAS is an ambivalence. You want to be more muscular (which is intrinsically good for men) but you don't want the stretch marks. What drives you to use AAS again is the benefits that come to you from being muscular and a desire to enhance or maintain those benefits. Everytime you win a fight, prevent a fight because of your size, score sex etc. your use of AAS is being reinforced (there is no such benefit to drugs of dependence other than the ephemeral high).

The solution to your problem -- as I see it -- is to resolve the ambivalence by either weighing the consequences of the stretch marks against the benefits of continued AAS usage OR by learning to use AAS without getting stretch marks.

If there is something peculiar about your skin such that it lacks normal elsaticity then you will have to make a choice between AAS or stretchmarks. If you like being big because it makes you more sexually attractive then you will have to weigh that against the ugliness of more stretch marks. Both muscularity and stretch-mark-free skin have a subjective value to you which only you can determine. Which is more important to you? I am not trying to be rhetorical, it could be that muscle mass is the more important to you, I don't know.

The alternative approach to resolving the ambivalence is to try to use AAS without forming stretch marks. Perhaps as others have suggested you are retaining excessive amounts of fluid or you are too young (under 21) to be using AAS and are on a growth spurt.