Relationship Advice Needed PLZ

[plane]

No contact, very simple - she has to now go search for other guys and realise they aren't as good as you and come back, if she doesn't - she's found what her brain deems as better at the time (which is very easy for female mind to do so) you haven't lost anything, please do NOT show her how hurt you are that will not help.

BTW she dropped you like a sack of shit and you're here singing her praises, re-evaluate, you did nothing wrong and you know it, have conviction in that

When you supposedly have this massive connection, she wouldn't dare break up with you; she would take your side with the situation regarding her boss. Little 'hurtful' words would also not be enough to severe the bond.

Its just not as real as it feels unfortunately.

 

[Muay Thai]

Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Underlying issues. I recognize myself doing some of the same as MT. So I empathize. As many have already stated, you have to take control of your life and recognize your self worth.
Do for self and your kids. The rest will fall into place.

thanks bro!

basically, I initiated a no-contact Friday, then sent a heartfelt email sat yesterday (which she read 5x ) but didn't respond. silence speaks volumes I have my answer.

I am practicing radical acceptance and doing much better. Detoxed everything even juice for a few weeks. ALL Supps also

I have a good psychologist i am talking to and have been talking to psychologists and studying psychology, espec relationship psychology, in-depth since I was a kid

Co-dependency is something I struggle with and my bio dad and my mom said it the same way and many others are. this recent relationship worked very very cohesively because the ex was also codependent so the constant stimulation was reciprocated, as she also worked from home. so i am going to look to hop on one of my buddies construction crews for a few days work per week during day, why not continue learning trades in process.

anyway, i think it's juvenile to read the email that many times and not reply to something simple. I conduct myself differently and more civilly ideally. more cohesively

regardless I have an old friend that I had a crush on and we have been catching some workouts in and its enjoyable. She wants to get the kids together to skateboard and go on a date too

If things progress which it seems like they are I Will be upfront about me just being recently in a relationship and upfront and transparent. I Dont have time to F around

I have been doing a grip of ranch work to occupy my mind which has been fun and formidable.

I was taking adderall every day and quit cold turkey also amongst a heap of other bad habits! dialing back in, my clients are getting ripped too. Thanks for all your responses.

 

[plane]

thanks bro!

basically, I initiated a no-contact Friday, then sent a heartfelt email sat yesterday (which she read 5x ) but didn't respond. silence speaks volumes I have my answer.

I am practicing radical acceptance and doing much better. Detoxed everything even juice for a few weeks. ALL Supps also

I have a good psychologist i am talking to and have been talking to psychologists and studying psychology, espec relationship psychology, in-depth since I was a kid

Co-dependency is something I struggle with and my bio dad and my mom said it the same way and many others are. this recent relationship worked very very cohesively because the ex was also codependent so the constant stimulation was reciprocated, as she also worked from home. so i am going to look to hop on one of my buddies construction crews for a few days work per week during day, why not continue learning trades in process.

anyway, i think it's juvenile to read the email that many times and not reply to something simple. I conduct myself differently and more civilly ideally. more cohesively

regardless I have an old friend that I had a crush on and we have been catching some workouts in and its enjoyable. She wants to get the kids together to skateboard and go on a date too

If things progress which it seems like they are I Will be upfront about me just being recently in a relationship and upfront and transparent. I Dont have time to F around

I have been doing a grip of ranch work to occupy my mind which has been fun and formidable.

I was taking adderall every day and quit cold turkey also amongst a heap of other bad habits! dialing back in, my clients are getting ripped too. Thanks for all your responses.

Good stuff, keep yourself occupied - great job on cold turkey. You get what you deserve and you're putting in the work so I hope things get better.
You've handled it in the right way, be prepared for if she tries to come back - you can forgive but don't forget how she treated you.

If things with this new girl are going great, don't let her come between that.

 

[Muay Thai]

Alright man, I've never seen anybody post this in reply to your threads so I'll do it.

You need a complete lifestyle change. Every few months you come on here and post a long story about a fight, getting jumped, troubles with a girl, legal problems, etc. You're not 21. It's not cool to constantly have drama in your life, particularly when you have kids to look after.

I say you cut the women, bodybuilding, gang behavior, past associates, all that stuff out of your life for an extended period. Focus on your business and taking care of your kids, nothing else. Get all the bullshit out of your life. The constant turmoil is a constant negative and you need to start racking up positives.

this is accurate i do not disagree. I don't have gang behavior nor engage in any. anyone I socialize with or stay in touch with are clients. if you knew me in real life and saw my portfolio, as numerous bros here do already, you would see with the celebrities im posting on my social media that I coach who are signed by SONY And other major exec companies , hollywood actors, would NEVER work with somebody who is gang affiliated. But from the outside view I can see why you might think this as its a common misconception based on some things ive shared on here in the past about my past that have been distorted. Not going to get into details but I have coached numeros actors and people you guys watch on tv and in UFC/bellator. my portfolio and references speak volumes, this is what i need to get back to. focusing on my business! and not women or other bullshit. bodybuilding I dont care about its just an outlet, i am in ufc fighter shape always at my very worse shape with just going a few days per week for maintenance. lots of yard work lately has also been helping @ ranch i appreciate the tough love bro

 

[Muay Thai]

Good stuff, keep yourself occupied - great job on cold turkey. You get what you deserve and you're putting in the work so I hope things get better.
You've handled it in the right way, be prepared for if she tries to come back - you can forgive but don't forget how she treated you.

If things with this new girl are going great, don't let her come between that.

excellent advice man ty for your time.

 

[Bio]

I know from discussions that you're removed from your old life but sometimes it comes back to haunt you in various ways. It's unfortunate but understandable. I'm not sure how intense you are in real life? Maybe you're calm for the most part, but like you said, both of you were triggered and said some hurtful things to one another. Unfortunately you can't suck those words back in. Depending on how deep those cut, in either direction, it could be enough to end things. You stated you sent her a heart felt message, so I'm not sure there's anything more you can do. It's tough not being in control sometimes but you have to respect her decision. Deep down you know you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, if that is in fact the case. Take a deep breath, do some meditation and let some time pass where emotions can reset.

I hope things work out for the best, whatever that outcome may be.

 

[control]

First off, I seriously feel for you, that is a rough situation. It sounds like you've found someone that benefits your life in many ways. Maybe you don't work together as a romantic couple because the emotions are too extreme; but maybe you can be best friends? I've known people that started off as couples and ended up being really close friends instead.

 

[Cerberus777]

Man, you've got some of the best loving advice in this thread. Please take it. If you embrace chaos you can't hold on to anything else. A lot of us have tried and failed, self included. Become the best version of yourself. When you don't "need" a women is when the best ones show up.

 

[crtx85]

what a mess my brain hurts reading this..... don't know how you find the time with these mind fk games.

 

[goback2013]

When you don't "need" a women is when the best ones show up.

facts!

 

[Vitobrata1]

long story short, a girl I have been flirting with for over a decade online who lives about 30 min from me , both of us had crushes on eachother forever. We even talked on phone a few years ago and had magical convos but never hung out. ffwd to this year about this time i rediscovered her (she blocked me 4 years ago when we were talking and she realized she should have gone on date with me and lost me when she saw i was already in a relationship and happy with someeone else) then it dawned on her, she told me this when we were dating. She was my #1 fan and basically idolized me. when we started dating we started posting eachother all over social media and broadcasting it, even tagging eachother in our bios , something ive never done before.

we had a magical relatoinship for 1 year,, but alot of it was gym and then dinner after. we did however have some excellent novel experiences together and were/are madly in love. Deep poetry and art, philosophy she was the perfect match my dream girl literally.

The girl i was dating before her, that i used to post pics of on her, is in the same real estate industry and has been lowkey trying to sabotoge our relationship. in one way she started working with her developer friend and was telling him about mine and her (barbie) relationship and other wierd stalker shit. Both of us during this year have served as coaches to each other and got both of our businesses rolling, she wasn't doing shit and i wasn't doing shit and we both inspired each other immediately upon dating to excel. and we did. and she helped me a lot and vis versa

i have PTSD bad and taking stims before our gym workouts did not help me be peaceful, it made me rigid and stiff. both of us have codependency diagnosed and were obsessed with each other. i basically healed her inside out and got her into excellent shape and instilled some invaluable biohacks for her and her daughter. i loved her daugther and mom like my own, she was also very involved with my family so that makes this more difficult. my son included

toward the end my ex posted as my google account a bad review on her google page for real estate. immediately i tried to rectify it by explaining that all my stufff from when i was in hospital from kidney dialysis is at her house still and my pc tower etc is there she has access and never would i do somethign so juvenile! thats a deal breaker, so i called her office and tried to explain to her boss as she got called in for it - and her boss was very rude and we got into a verbal disagreement that was heated, so my altruistic attempt to rectify the situation by showing her this person responsible for the fake bad review is notorious in your industry and works for very prestigious company, and its very easy to find out about her and i even provided her employer which is a HUGE RE company

boom. we broke up, so over last 3 weeks we have been "broken up" but still were carryign on romantically almost sa if nothing happened, but without the title and same closeness. I felt betrayed after iasked her what our status was last week/ Her response was **** we broke up 3 weeks ago, i told you. so i stepped out of character and said some mean shit you cant come back from, and eventually she returned fire and said some mean hurtful shit.

my question is, i havent heard from her in 3 days. I have sent a cordial short but sweet email 1x per day SINCE then to no avail. I do have email tracker built in so i can see she keeps reading it, and im assuming she is ruminating like i am, espec after how madly in love i mean i have never felt such love, and i was ungrateful toward end. I aired out all of this already in emails all my regrets and such, my future promises and that i hope we can reconnect in future even as friends and that we should fight for the magic we had and the 10+ year crush, we were joined at hip, both openly obsessed with eachother . i am used to talking to her 24/7 as she also works from home. I am heartbroken. DO i continue to send a cordial email or do I issue no contact and totally leave ball in her court? regardless i am moving forward and excelling and making moves, healing and reflecting, and i dont want to lose her for ever i would be devestated. She is my dream girl and vis versa, and our familys were involved.

I have already experienced mega grief and forgave myself and forgave her. I have started chatting with another girl from gym ive known in person though and actually hung out with back in day, and now she is romantically interested in me and wants to hang out. I feel sick to my stomach talking to her and fillign a void but it also feels GOOD to be wanted. She is stunning and cool af, but the magic is not there like it was with my last x "M" . M and i also were looking at places to move until about 3 weeks ago and i feel i screwed up by not pulling trigger and that being a catalyst. Can we come back from the ugly things said? I have a therapist and psychiatrist, she is very smart and has high emotional intelligence but she is also living with her ex (not kids father) but they were not romantically involved for a long time. he is a DND nerd lol old guy. I was her knight in shining armor she said, and i feel like i failed. She was my world and its been tough this entire month to eat and sleep. to add on to it , my sons moms roomates friends ended up jumping me. She has been holdingall of my belonging hostage al week and today finally isgoing to meet a family member to drop off. unbelieveably tough year. even my best friends in the beginning of the disagreements offered counsel to her which she was receptive to, her and my mom were also close and my mom was alsos in same industry previously

@OuchThatHurts @Virtuous @A50# @Bio all of my brothers and sisters your advice is welcome.P

Prepare yourself to not communicate for 3 MONTHS not 3 days. It takes a whole lot longer than 3 days. DO NOT SEND ANY MORE COMMUNICATION. That is literally the WORST thing you can do. Stop that immediately.


Give her the breakup. Work on yourself, she will eventually get curious and look for you, don't get too excited and act like you have your shit together. This shit is hard, it takes a lot of will but if you want to WIN this is what it takes. Do not listen to people who tell you to communicate with them. That NEVER works, there is NOTHING you can say that is going to improve the situation. TIME will improve it and TIME alone. It seems crazy and every part of your being will want to argue with me but trust me, it's the ONLY way to succeed.

 

[goback2013]

Prepare yourself to not communicate for 3 MONTHS not 3 days. It takes a whole lot longer than 3 days. DO NOT SEND ANY MORE COMMUNICATION. That is literally the WORST thing you can do. Stop that immediately.


Give her the breakup. Work on yourself, she will eventually get curious and look for you, don't get too excited and act like you have your shit together. This shit is hard, it takes a lot of will but if you want to WIN this is what it takes. Do not listen to people who tell you to communicate with them. That NEVER works, there is NOTHING you can say that is going to improve the situation. TIME will improve it and TIME alone. It seems crazy and every part of your being will want to argue with me but trust me, it's the ONLY way to succeed.

This is good advice for all. Believe MT is in a better place now. Although, I'm not his spokes man

 

[Muay Thai]

I cut that emotional vampire off and the one before her I used to post got me locked up. I am single as a MFER FOR A LONG TIME happily. My previous post was oozing codependence. those chains I revered have been broken.

good looking out homeboy @goback2013

 

[pesty4077]

I cut that emotional vampire off and the one before her I used to post got me locked up. I am single as a MFER FOR A LONG TIME happily. My previous post was oozing codependence. those chains I revered have been broken.

good looking out homeboy @goback2013

I don't get why people say you can't be happy single. Some of the best years of my life were being single.

 

[gauge22-v2]

long story short, a girl I have been flirting with for over a decade online who lives about 30 min from me , both of us had crushes on eachother forever. We even talked on phone a few years ago and had magical convos but never hung out. ffwd to this year about this time i rediscovered her (she blocked me 4 years ago when we were talking and she realized she should have gone on date with me and lost me when she saw i was already in a relationship and happy with someeone else) then it dawned on her, she told me this when we were dating. She was my #1 fan and basically idolized me. when we started dating we started posting eachother all over social media and broadcasting it, even tagging eachother in our bios , something ive never done before.

we had a magical relatoinship for 1 year,, but alot of it was gym and then dinner after. we did however have some excellent novel experiences together and were/are madly in love. Deep poetry and art, philosophy she was the perfect match my dream girl literally.

The girl i was dating before her, that i used to post pics of on her, is in the same real estate industry and has been lowkey trying to sabotoge our relationship. in one way she started working with her developer friend and was telling him about mine and her (barbie) relationship and other wierd stalker shit. Both of us during this year have served as coaches to each other and got both of our businesses rolling, she wasn't doing shit and i wasn't doing shit and we both inspired each other immediately upon dating to excel. and we did. and she helped me a lot and vis versa

i have PTSD bad and taking stims before our gym workouts did not help me be peaceful, it made me rigid and stiff. both of us have codependency diagnosed and were obsessed with each other. i basically healed her inside out and got her into excellent shape and instilled some invaluable biohacks for her and her daughter. i loved her daugther and mom like my own, she was also very involved with my family so that makes this more difficult. my son included

toward the end my ex posted as my google account a bad review on her google page for real estate. immediately i tried to rectify it by explaining that all my stufff from when i was in hospital from kidney dialysis is at her house still and my pc tower etc is there she has access and never would i do somethign so juvenile! thats a deal breaker, so i called her office and tried to explain to her boss as she got called in for it - and her boss was very rude and we got into a verbal disagreement that was heated, so my altruistic attempt to rectify the situation by showing her this person responsible for the fake bad review is notorious in your industry and works for very prestigious company, and its very easy to find out about her and i even provided her employer which is a HUGE RE company

boom. we broke up, so over last 3 weeks we have been "broken up" but still were carryign on romantically almost sa if nothing happened, but without the title and same closeness. I felt betrayed after iasked her what our status was last week/ Her response was **** we broke up 3 weeks ago, i told you. so i stepped out of character and said some mean shit you cant come back from, and eventually she returned fire and said some mean hurtful shit.

my question is, i havent heard from her in 3 days. I have sent a cordial short but sweet email 1x per day SINCE then to no avail. I do have email tracker built in so i can see she keeps reading it, and im assuming she is ruminating like i am, espec after how madly in love i mean i have never felt such love, and i was ungrateful toward end. I aired out all of this already in emails all my regrets and such, my future promises and that i hope we can reconnect in future even as friends and that we should fight for the magic we had and the 10+ year crush, we were joined at hip, both openly obsessed with eachother . i am used to talking to her 24/7 as she also works from home. I am heartbroken. DO i continue to send a cordial email or do I issue no contact and totally leave ball in her court? regardless i am moving forward and excelling and making moves, healing and reflecting, and i dont want to lose her for ever i would be devestated. She is my dream girl and vis versa, and our familys were involved.

I have already experienced mega grief and forgave myself and forgave her. I have started chatting with another girl from gym ive known in person though and actually hung out with back in day, and now she is romantically interested in me and wants to hang out. I feel sick to my stomach talking to her and fillign a void but it also feels GOOD to be wanted. She is stunning and cool af, but the magic is not there like it was with my last x "M" . M and i also were looking at places to move until about 3 weeks ago and i feel i screwed up by not pulling trigger and that being a catalyst. Can we come back from the ugly things said? I have a therapist and psychiatrist, she is very smart and has high emotional intelligence but she is also living with her ex (not kids father) but they were not romantically involved for a long time. he is a DND nerd lol old guy. I was her knight in shining armor she said, and i feel like i failed. She was my world and its been tough this entire month to eat and sleep. to add on to it , my sons moms roomates friends ended up jumping me. She has been holdingall of my belonging hostage al week and today finally isgoing to meet a family member to drop off. unbelieveably tough year. even my best friends in the beginning of the disagreements offered counsel to her which she was receptive to, her and my mom were also close and my mom was alsos in same industry previously

@OuchThatHurts @Virtuous @A50# @Bio all of my brothers and sisters your advice is welcome.

I read this quick.

One thing guys, and women, constantly do is jump from one relationship into another. You will set the stage for failure after failure.

You are depending on others for your happiness. This NEVER works. Be on your own, be happy on your own. Then look for a relationship.

 

[jaxino]

I don't get why people say you can't be happy single. Some of the best years of my life were being single.

I have to add.....

I was single and with my cat!!

 

[fisther69]

I don't get why people say you can't be happy single. Some of the best years of my life were being single.

So many years of my life would have been so much happier and simpler if I were single..wasn’t even fair to the other person

 

[Muay Thai]

please delete this thread its ancient and completely irrelevant and misrepresentation of my perspective and lifestyle today @pesty4077
it makes me look weak and pathetic. ancient history

 

[pesty4077]

please delete this thread its ancient and completely irrelevant and misrepresentation of my perspective and lifestyle today @pesty4077
it makes me look weak and pathetic. ancient history

Geez, it doesn't make you look weak. I would look pathetically weak too.

Just part of life and how we learn from experiences. I mean you appear happier, so you learn from it.

 

[slesh]

please delete this thread its ancient and completely irrelevant and misrepresentation of my perspective and lifestyle today @pesty4077
it makes me look weak and pathetic. ancient history

MT you the man - keep doing your thing. I don’t know why that noob chose this thread to get his post count up.