Relationship Advice Needed PLZ

[slesh]

Advice is one thing, addressing underlying issues is another. I’m not, nor do I think most of us here are able to dig in deep this sort of thing.

Agreed - but I think we are qualified enough to tell him to drop this chick and move on lol. I’m not trying to get all Freud here…

 

[alfresco]

Lol yeah who the fuck are you with your 10 posts? Some of us have been here 10-20 years “coaching” each other up. Not saying a shrink wouldn’t be a solid addition - but I think collectively we all have had enough of the same type experiences where we can give advice.

Post count is irrelevant.

 

[slesh]

Post count is irrelevant.

It’s relevant because he’s been here for 5 minutes. He doesn’t know the relationships that have been developed here.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

It’s relevant because he’s been here for 5 minutes. He doesn’t know the relationships that have been developed here.

 

[goback2013]

Advice is one thing, addressing underlying issues is another. I’m not, nor do I think most of us here are able to dig in deep this sort of thing.

Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Underlying issues. I recognize myself doing some of the same as MT. So I empathize. As many have already stated, you have to take control of your life and recognize your self worth.
Do for self and your kids. The rest will fall into place.

 

[alfresco]

It’s relevant because he’s been here for 5 minutes. He doesn’t know the relationships that have been developed here.

Fair enough.

 

[stackdizzy]

Well I think your codependency is not healthy in your relationships. You leave one girl and are just finding another so you're not alone, don't seem to really hold that much value over the new one so I think it would be erroneous to think that the new one will work out. She is just there and happened to cross your path.

Kinda also going to parrot what others have said that you really need to get your life in order. You seem like a smart guy that got caught up in some bad shit and I know that life can be addicting but its really time to move on. I mean you need a whole paradigm shift in your life. Not much in your life is serving you anymore so you need to let it go.

Chicks that are sleeping with other guys in the same bed are not viable chicks for relationships, let that one go. Let the new one go she is just an addiction for you nothing more. I understand when someone gets caught up in some bad shit like fighting, getting jumped, robbed but if that happens all the time it's foolish to think that you are not the at fault. Start taking responsibility for everything that happens to you and you will see a dramatic change in your life.

I really do know how addicting the streets can be and the money is fast and good but its not that good and its definitely not going to end well(it never does) You really need to bow out on your terms not get put out on someone else's. Their is no bed of roses at the end in that life its always a little more and its unsustainable.

These chicks won't stick up for you for her job what do you expect with something involving the law?? This chick is bad news bro!

Didn't mean to beat you up but just giving you an outside look into what I see, here are some things you should do imo immediately

1. Dont talk about yourself at all, try and be nobody for awhile with nothing to offer anyone except those in business of course. This is hard but it will force you to listen and see opportunities. Don't do shit for anybody but yourself and your kids for awhile.

2. Lose your ego its doing you no good.

3. Grind in silence keep achievements to yourself.

4. Get a book on codependency as someone has already said.

5. Anything thats going to be said in anger is better left unsaid.

6. Stop contacting this chick at all, those least interested in being in the relationship have all the power. Still walk away from this girl though or you'll just be the next guy she is living with while seeing some other guy. That girl is broken

7. Be alone and work on you

8. Go get a shrink if your actually prepared to change, getting a shrink and not being prepared to work on yourself is pointless.

9. I see you post stuff on budism I believe or whatever it is get more into that. You also might like Hermetics if you need something new

10. Read one book a week try and get some self help books at first and stay away from anything that glorifies gang culture or crime.

11. I know you can spot a bad situation so leave immediately if one pops up. Drop peeps that bring those situations in your life.bu

Anyway just some quick thoughts but only you can save yourself hope it helps pm me if you feel I can help at all.

 

[Ziath11]

It’s relevant because he’s been here for 5 minutes. He doesn’t know the relationships that have been developed here.

I’ve been here longer than 5 minutes as my join date states. Doing more to become active on here. I noticed it seemed like a co-dependency issue which I’ve dealt with so I recommended a book. Besides that yes I do agree everyone here is qualified to tell him to drop the chick and move on. But there seems to be more issues here that can be resolved with a therapist or psychiatrist. Nothing wrong with that, I do therapy myself. No hate, just trying to give my own advice. Didn’t know new members were not allowed to do that.

 

[stackdizzy]

I’ve been here longer than 5 minutes as my join date states. Doing more to become active on here. I noticed it seemed like a co-dependency issue which I’ve dealt with so I recommended a book. Besides that yes I do agree everyone here is qualified to tell him to drop the chick and move on. But there seems to be more issues here that can be resolved with a therapist or psychiatrist. Nothing wrong with that, I do therapy myself. No hate, just trying to give my own advice. Didn’t know new members were not allowed to do that.

Well now you do fucko...lol jk bro sleesh might warm up to you sooner or later

 

[Zarati]

TL:dr lol

If you can't help him why bother posting
Let's be better than that

 

[Biggerp73]

My two cents

If you haven't apologized for whatever mean stuff you said, do so, but don't do it because you want her back. Do it because it's the right thing. And then leave it alone. Don't contact her again. If she replies with a "thank you", don't respond. Don't respond unless she replies or sends you something that actually indicates she wants a response, like if she asks you a question or makes a proposal of some kind. Just leave it alone and move on and follow the advice everyone else has been giving you. If in a year or two you want to reach out one more time, that's something different.

 

[buck]

From my brief glance at the post. Seems like to much trauma and drama already. At least for me. Probably more fantacy build up in the head then actual realty. Time to move on and re-evaluate life.

 

[RepZZ]

I'm not going to beat this up as it looks like you are taking a hit here. I can empathize. I'm 52 and I've been in numerous relationships and was married for over 15 years that ended in 2010. I've only been in love once (true love) and it lasted 2.5 years. This ended over 1 year ago,, so i fully understand the pain and I'm very sorry if your going through this. It hurts so much and the best advice I can give is to "not contact her" and stay very busy. Jump into work, kids, work out, go out with people as it helps keep your mind off it. You will sit in pain if you don't. I do NOT believe time heals anything but it does teach you how to handle the pain.
Dont date, it makes it worse. There is NO way to stop the process. It hurts and you need to let it hurt.
I'm so sorry. It takes balls to come on here of all places to share this and ask for help. Get a therapist and work through it. Lastly, your kids still need you,, so put them first and take care of them and cry when time permits. You can PM me if you just need someone to talk to. Again, after one year, I'm not over it but i picked up some tid-bits along my painful journey.

 

[FrancisK]

MT I'm no saint and I've had my fun and been through the shit even still enjoying that fun when the time is right but I'll echo what everyone else said about slowing down and finding some stable ground....you need that brother.

Now with that being said, move on from this, move on from the entire shit show situation and put yourself in a different one. There will always be another girl, there will always be another situation, there is a reason it didn't work out the first time or the second time, nothing is absolute and nothing is the best it will ever be. How you feel about all of this today as if it's the end all be all will be completely different in a few months, but again you need to find yourself some stable ground in life first. Find happiness within yourself first and find footing, the entire situation sounds like a mess that in reality you will be better off just walking away from. You don't need to fix any of this, just walk away it's no good for you.

 

[danieltx]

The funniest part of this is he was desperate for advice but hasn't been on the board since he made this post.

 

[fisther69]

The funniest part of this is he was desperate for advice but hasn't been on the board since he made this post.

Well, he was getting AAS piss tested for probation/parole if I’m remembering the right guy..maybe that shit got him

 

[goback2013]

Sounds like he's caught up in a whirlwind of BS. Probably dealing with that and maybe lurking while taking in all these responses.

The funniest part of this is he was desperate for advice but hasn't been on the board since he made this post.

 

[Samson250]

The funniest part of this is he was desperate for advice but hasn't been on the board since he made this post.

He stated he has limited access to internet because his belongings are being held hostage. Has to use a friend’s computer and transportation is an issue.

He also has said the issue with being tested for AAS was resolved.

 

[cage99]

Well, he was getting AAS piss tested for probation/parole if I’m remembering the right guy..maybe that shit got him

I think that all worked itself out and no bracelets were slapped on him.

Cage

 

[fisther69]

I think that all worked itself out and no bracelets were slapped on him.

Cage

Good for him man..that was chicken shit