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- Joined
- Mar 11, 2008
- Messages
- 310
Aloha to all my fellow brothers in iron!!! I registered a little over a year ago, and well, as you can see by my post count, I haven’t been on that much. I wanted to take some time and tell my story. It’s one of pain, love, addiction, and victory. I won’t pull any punches in what Im going to write. Im shooting straight from the heart here fellas. I’ve been weight training, like most, since high school. I was a 2 sport athlete, competing in both football and wrestling. In school, I was my high school’s strongest athlete. I had never read a bodybuilding mag, taken a supplement, or even thought of taking gear. Now, let me tell everyone, Im shorty. I stand a whopping 5’5. Muscle mass came rather easily to me, but also, fat storage came easily as well. I tried my best throughout school to keep my weight in check. Which, I had to do for wrestling. I competed in the 215lb weight class. I never had abs, but always had good strong legs and chest. I was the first athlete at my school in 7 years to break the 300lb bench press barrier. My senior year, I also got under 800lbs and hit a box squat for 2 reps. The ones where you put a chair behind you, and as soon as your butt touches, you bring the weight back up. Sounds crazy, I know, but it’s the honest to God’s truth.
I had a pretty good life growing up. I was taken in by my Grandparent’s at age 6, and they raised me as their own. I never knew my “father”, and I don’t care to. Now, after school, I ballooned up to 305lbs, with a whole lot of fat. At 20 years of age, I was winded walking up 4 steps. I decided, this was unacceptable, and purchased my first gym membership. Just after this, I went through some heartache. I lost my Grandfather, then a month later, the first girl I loved, broke it off with me. I went to the gym sporadically, but nothing serious. In fact, for the first few months, I wouldn’t even go near the freeweights. I stayed strictly on this 9 machine circuit training, my gym had set up. After a few months of being a moron, basically not working much, drinking when I did have money, etc., I found a decent little job close to my home. I started to re-think my training. I figured, if I was going to put my time and money into it, I had better start getting something for it. I stopped drinking all together, and focused solely on training. Now, I didn’t have internet access, and my first mag subscription was to the “fabled”, Muscle and Fitness. I eventually got up the nerve to start trying freeweights again. I remember my first chest day well. I was always the strongest in school, so I put 225 on the bench, and proceeded to let it down and couldn’t raise it back up. I knew I had some serious work to do.
After about a year or so, I had started to notice I was getting stronger, and a tad leaner. I had ran a couple of small gear stacks, but was still very green. Eventually, I landed a great job with a local energy company. A friend of mine had a bottle of Upjohn Winny, and I had the means to buy it. This was the start for me. I went from about 248lbs, to a much leaner 225lbs. I was able to wear nice clothes, and started to get looks again. Towards the end of 2001, I let a local “natural” competitor talk me into trying competitions. I took him serious, but it was obvious, he didn’t. He told me he would help me, and well, let’s just say, I got more help from the sweat on the bench, than I did this guy. Around that time, I noticed my gym had gained a new big boy. I was nervous to approach him, but one Saturday leg session it all changed. The guy who had offered to work with me, had also invited this new guy to train with us. While the “natural” boy was off getting water, the new guy had started to talk to me about competing. He told me he had done a few shows, and knew a guy in the Pittsbugh area, that could help me. I went to my new friend’s house, about a 30 minute trip from mine, and seen he wasn’t blowing smoke. I seen about 4 or 5 trophies for competing, a boatload of supplements on his counter, and quite a few other things that are bodybuilding trademarks. I will call my new friend Jim. Jim got me in touch with his guy in Pittsburgh. I emailed him and told him my thoughts. He needed a fee to work with him and pics. I had no problems furnishing either. I told my new friend in Pitt, who I will call, Dan, that I wanted to do a natural show, because I really didn’t have the funds to do an untested. Around the same time, there was a new lady in our gym who was in town for the summer working on an internship for college. I won’t give out her name, but I tell you no lies when I say she is currently an IFBB Pro now. She also was the best dang leg training partner I have ever had to this day. Dan and I emailed back and forth. He set my diet out in clear and concise directions on what I had to do with food, supplements, and training. I started my diet at 239lbs. The problem was, I didn’t realize naturals had to work a tad harder then enhanced bodybuilder’s. With work and school, it made it very tiresome. Every day, up at 4AM to be the gym to do my cardio, abs, and calves. Go to work in a power plant for 8-10 hours, then back to the gym to work on whatever bodypart. Going home, having to do laundry, cooking my meals, etc., left a single guy like me, no time for anything. I was completely focused. I went out to Pittsburgh a few times to see Dan so he could critique me. The rest of the time, I made the 30 minute trip out to see Jim. By week 3, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it. I was falling asleep at work constantly. I had no energy. The extreme low carbs had taken it’s toll. The other problem, was loose skin. Remember, I had ballooned up to 305lbs. Well, I didn’t take the proper steps when dropping down in previous years to tighten that up. So at 3 weeks out, being in the best shape I had ever been in, and having abs for the only time in my life, I had to bow out. I wasn’t ashamed. I had done something not many in the World had the nerve to even attempt. I knew competing wasn’t for me, but nevertheless, I was hooked on the lifestyle.
Jim and Dan had taught me quite a bit, and I never wanted to stop learning. I would ask questions constantly about training, diet, and gear. In 2004, my life began to change. I was against drugs my whole life, but Dan had let me “try” ex while I was in Pittsburgh. I got the “I wouldn’t give you anything that wouldn’t help your bodybuilding” line, and I bought it. Eventually, it lead me to try other nefarious drugs, which I won’t mention, but I will say started to become priority. One night after using ex, I was wide awake, and wanted to sleep. We had all gone back to Jim’s house and asked him if he had anything that would help. Jim pulled me into a room, and said, “let me see your arm.” I said, no way, why??? That night I got my first shot of Nubain. I started using it about 3 months later. At first, it started out being prior to training. Eventually, I started liking the feeling, and it became a habit. On and off from 2005 to 2006, I used this garbage, and yes, I learned to mainline it. Im not proud, but it’s a life lesson learned. Eventually, I beat it. I haven’t touched the stuff since May of 2006. I haven’t used any rec drugs since 2006 as well. Eventually, I found out I had a bone spur on my left shoulder. Surgery soon followed and here came the pain pills. It started out, I was taking them as directed and it soon spun out of control. Now, in 2007, I was training very well. I had put some very good size on through training, eating, supplementation, and a nice stack. Late July, I had a slight tear of a ligament in the opposite shoulder. I couldn’t train the way I wanted to and soon started to disappear from the one thing I loved, training.
Depression soon set in, and all I cared about was getting pain medicine. 2008, eventually became my worst year ever. I trained maybe 3 times the whole year. I don’t think there was many days that went by that I wasn’t eating opiate based pain pills. Now, I never went back to Bain, but this wasn’t any better. Eventually, I alienated friends and family. I was ashamed of myself, but didn’t care. The last time I got a script for pain medicine, I went to my car, and swallowed 9 Loracet tablets. Then every 4 hours, I would take 4 more. Finally when they ran out, I told myself, I can’t do this anymore. These things had cost me everything I had ever loved. I had become fat. Almost lost my job, home, and car. Friends stopped calling, family was scared. The works. Finally, I decided to try Suboxone. Let me say this, had I not tried this, I probably would have been dead. Im proud to say Im now 123 days sober. I haven’t touched any recreational drugs, nor have I abused any of my current prescription medication. A week ago, I started training again. It’s going to be a long road back. Im excited to see what my body is going to do. I know through hard work and discipline, I will become stronger and bigger, with less fat. Im almost 31 now, and Im excited about where my life is headed. I hope to be a bit more active on the board now that I have my focus back. Im not a genius of the game. I’ve trained with a few top level amateurs in the past. Learned some good knowledge, but never stop wanting to learn more. Fellas, if any of you out there are going through the problem of addiction, PM me. Im not the smartest guy when it comes to this stuff, but I don’t mind offering some words of encouragement. Don’t let it get the better of you, it’s not worth it.
So that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. There’s a lot of detail that I could have included, but for obvious reasons, I didn’t want to. For those who take the time to read this, thank you very much. Im looking forward to being more active on the board.
Pumpt73
I had a pretty good life growing up. I was taken in by my Grandparent’s at age 6, and they raised me as their own. I never knew my “father”, and I don’t care to. Now, after school, I ballooned up to 305lbs, with a whole lot of fat. At 20 years of age, I was winded walking up 4 steps. I decided, this was unacceptable, and purchased my first gym membership. Just after this, I went through some heartache. I lost my Grandfather, then a month later, the first girl I loved, broke it off with me. I went to the gym sporadically, but nothing serious. In fact, for the first few months, I wouldn’t even go near the freeweights. I stayed strictly on this 9 machine circuit training, my gym had set up. After a few months of being a moron, basically not working much, drinking when I did have money, etc., I found a decent little job close to my home. I started to re-think my training. I figured, if I was going to put my time and money into it, I had better start getting something for it. I stopped drinking all together, and focused solely on training. Now, I didn’t have internet access, and my first mag subscription was to the “fabled”, Muscle and Fitness. I eventually got up the nerve to start trying freeweights again. I remember my first chest day well. I was always the strongest in school, so I put 225 on the bench, and proceeded to let it down and couldn’t raise it back up. I knew I had some serious work to do.
After about a year or so, I had started to notice I was getting stronger, and a tad leaner. I had ran a couple of small gear stacks, but was still very green. Eventually, I landed a great job with a local energy company. A friend of mine had a bottle of Upjohn Winny, and I had the means to buy it. This was the start for me. I went from about 248lbs, to a much leaner 225lbs. I was able to wear nice clothes, and started to get looks again. Towards the end of 2001, I let a local “natural” competitor talk me into trying competitions. I took him serious, but it was obvious, he didn’t. He told me he would help me, and well, let’s just say, I got more help from the sweat on the bench, than I did this guy. Around that time, I noticed my gym had gained a new big boy. I was nervous to approach him, but one Saturday leg session it all changed. The guy who had offered to work with me, had also invited this new guy to train with us. While the “natural” boy was off getting water, the new guy had started to talk to me about competing. He told me he had done a few shows, and knew a guy in the Pittsbugh area, that could help me. I went to my new friend’s house, about a 30 minute trip from mine, and seen he wasn’t blowing smoke. I seen about 4 or 5 trophies for competing, a boatload of supplements on his counter, and quite a few other things that are bodybuilding trademarks. I will call my new friend Jim. Jim got me in touch with his guy in Pittsburgh. I emailed him and told him my thoughts. He needed a fee to work with him and pics. I had no problems furnishing either. I told my new friend in Pitt, who I will call, Dan, that I wanted to do a natural show, because I really didn’t have the funds to do an untested. Around the same time, there was a new lady in our gym who was in town for the summer working on an internship for college. I won’t give out her name, but I tell you no lies when I say she is currently an IFBB Pro now. She also was the best dang leg training partner I have ever had to this day. Dan and I emailed back and forth. He set my diet out in clear and concise directions on what I had to do with food, supplements, and training. I started my diet at 239lbs. The problem was, I didn’t realize naturals had to work a tad harder then enhanced bodybuilder’s. With work and school, it made it very tiresome. Every day, up at 4AM to be the gym to do my cardio, abs, and calves. Go to work in a power plant for 8-10 hours, then back to the gym to work on whatever bodypart. Going home, having to do laundry, cooking my meals, etc., left a single guy like me, no time for anything. I was completely focused. I went out to Pittsburgh a few times to see Dan so he could critique me. The rest of the time, I made the 30 minute trip out to see Jim. By week 3, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it. I was falling asleep at work constantly. I had no energy. The extreme low carbs had taken it’s toll. The other problem, was loose skin. Remember, I had ballooned up to 305lbs. Well, I didn’t take the proper steps when dropping down in previous years to tighten that up. So at 3 weeks out, being in the best shape I had ever been in, and having abs for the only time in my life, I had to bow out. I wasn’t ashamed. I had done something not many in the World had the nerve to even attempt. I knew competing wasn’t for me, but nevertheless, I was hooked on the lifestyle.
Jim and Dan had taught me quite a bit, and I never wanted to stop learning. I would ask questions constantly about training, diet, and gear. In 2004, my life began to change. I was against drugs my whole life, but Dan had let me “try” ex while I was in Pittsburgh. I got the “I wouldn’t give you anything that wouldn’t help your bodybuilding” line, and I bought it. Eventually, it lead me to try other nefarious drugs, which I won’t mention, but I will say started to become priority. One night after using ex, I was wide awake, and wanted to sleep. We had all gone back to Jim’s house and asked him if he had anything that would help. Jim pulled me into a room, and said, “let me see your arm.” I said, no way, why??? That night I got my first shot of Nubain. I started using it about 3 months later. At first, it started out being prior to training. Eventually, I started liking the feeling, and it became a habit. On and off from 2005 to 2006, I used this garbage, and yes, I learned to mainline it. Im not proud, but it’s a life lesson learned. Eventually, I beat it. I haven’t touched the stuff since May of 2006. I haven’t used any rec drugs since 2006 as well. Eventually, I found out I had a bone spur on my left shoulder. Surgery soon followed and here came the pain pills. It started out, I was taking them as directed and it soon spun out of control. Now, in 2007, I was training very well. I had put some very good size on through training, eating, supplementation, and a nice stack. Late July, I had a slight tear of a ligament in the opposite shoulder. I couldn’t train the way I wanted to and soon started to disappear from the one thing I loved, training.
Depression soon set in, and all I cared about was getting pain medicine. 2008, eventually became my worst year ever. I trained maybe 3 times the whole year. I don’t think there was many days that went by that I wasn’t eating opiate based pain pills. Now, I never went back to Bain, but this wasn’t any better. Eventually, I alienated friends and family. I was ashamed of myself, but didn’t care. The last time I got a script for pain medicine, I went to my car, and swallowed 9 Loracet tablets. Then every 4 hours, I would take 4 more. Finally when they ran out, I told myself, I can’t do this anymore. These things had cost me everything I had ever loved. I had become fat. Almost lost my job, home, and car. Friends stopped calling, family was scared. The works. Finally, I decided to try Suboxone. Let me say this, had I not tried this, I probably would have been dead. Im proud to say Im now 123 days sober. I haven’t touched any recreational drugs, nor have I abused any of my current prescription medication. A week ago, I started training again. It’s going to be a long road back. Im excited to see what my body is going to do. I know through hard work and discipline, I will become stronger and bigger, with less fat. Im almost 31 now, and Im excited about where my life is headed. I hope to be a bit more active on the board now that I have my focus back. Im not a genius of the game. I’ve trained with a few top level amateurs in the past. Learned some good knowledge, but never stop wanting to learn more. Fellas, if any of you out there are going through the problem of addiction, PM me. Im not the smartest guy when it comes to this stuff, but I don’t mind offering some words of encouragement. Don’t let it get the better of you, it’s not worth it.
So that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. There’s a lot of detail that I could have included, but for obvious reasons, I didn’t want to. For those who take the time to read this, thank you very much. Im looking forward to being more active on the board.
Pumpt73
