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Time For A Story PM

Little Bear

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Jan 2, 2009
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131
First off, you all need some background for this tale of idiocy :banghead:. The background will be longer than the story, but you need to read the background to get the full effect of this complete douche. :rolleyes:

Background
I go to the gym every saturday at roughly 630 in the pm. I should've learned my lesson by now, but hey... we all can be a little dim witted sometimes right? There's this guy who fancies himself to be powerlifter. Yes, I say fancies himself because he is nowhere near to what most lifters would consider a legitimate powerlifter. Now as a point of reference here, I'm 5'2 and roughly 170. He's a good 6'3 and 230. He's substantially larger than I am, but chubby where as I am substantially leaner than he is.

I've never seen him do anything besides bench, deadlift, squat, and ,on one occasion, curls. He typically walks in the gym with sandals, khaki shorts, and some retarded graphic-T that's supposed to be clever and cute, but really makes him look like an overgrown douchebag. With that being said, he then comes in, sits as close as possible to the nice power rack (it even has an amazing platform on it... top notch shit). and proceeds to change into his deadlift socks (for bench and squats mind you, he never wears them on deadlifts) and chalks up his best flannel shirt :cool: that he obviously cannot bench or squat without :rolleyes:. He will then walk over to the other rack across the gym, but leave his things by the nice one. He will bother the person in said power rack until that person leaves and will set up his bench in there where he chalks up (which chalk isn't allowed in the gym... I know, shitty) the entire bar, the entire bench, and the weights he's using. It looks like he's Al Pacino from Scarface... that much damn chalk :banghead:. He'll work up doing doubles all the way to roughly 185 and then YELL AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE on every rep... even if it's 95lbs... and then SLAM the weight back into the rack so that rack inches backwards with each slam. Between each set he will run back over to his stool and where all his stuff is across the gym and write down the set in his little notebook. After the bench, he'll bother the person on the nice power rack until they leave so he can squat when he wants. Last week I was doing power upright rows (I know I know, not a typical bodybuilding movement, but to each his own...) with roughly 225 and working up to 275. He sat there 3 inches from the edge of the power rack and stared me down the entire time until I finally got uncomfortable and left. I was actually more afraid that if something happened I'd hit him with the weight and he'd sue. People are douchebags like that.

I'm sure you all get the picture now... so onto the story.


I walk in and warm-up my rotator cuffs and back and then make my way to the nice power rack since nobody was on it and I begin to set up my stuff for barbell rows. I have the weight IN MY HAND... I want to reiterate that... IT WAS IN MY HAND! and he runs from across the gym and yells at me and says he was going to squat there and asks me to use the other squat rack. Now being the nice and courteous individual in the gym that I want everyone else to be, I decided it was okay for me to go to the other squat rack.... big mistake. I find out that he was JUST BENCHING IN THE OTHER SQUAT RACK HE TOLD ME TO GO TO!!! It's still got the bench in the rack and the bar is on the safety bars where he couldn't get it off of.... covered in chalk of course. So I just take everything off, wipe it all down, do my rows and move onto my next exercise. All the while I'm doing this he's doing his "squats", which consisted of him yelling at the bar from 10 feet away "I'M GONNA GET THIS WEIGHT! THIS IS MY WEIGHT! WOOO!!!! I GOT THIS!!!! YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!!!" He runs under the bar and slams his neck into the bar.... yes... his neck. Then he tries setting up for 3 full minutes (I timed it once) and then with it on his neck walks it out and stares at the ground and does ass to the grass squats. The descent is so fast I thought he might shit his pants or at least split them. At that point, he grinds out his final reps with 295 (for a double of course) and slams the bar so hard into the rack (mind you... this rack weighs roughly 700lbs at least) that it hits the mirrors. Thankfully it didn't break them. He then gets out from under the bar and yells "WOOO GOT THAT WEIGHT!!!" and looks around to see if anyone was looking at him as if he's a teenage girl smoking trying to be cool.

I shake my head, finish my workout, and leave. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the hell that is my saturday nights at the gym. Thank you for listening :p
 

waynaferd

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Oct 28, 2009
Messages
1,893
Stop being a pus-c and learn to tell people to fuhk off.....its easy after you do it a few times LOL...

Good story, BTW :headbang:
 

Newman

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May 11, 2009
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My friend, you are a far better man than me. I desire peace with EVERYONE, but when some ignorant moron inconveniences everyone around them, I just just can't sit there all passive like and let it go.

I'd just have to (as nicely as possible) explain the error of his ways to him. If that didn't work, there's always "plan B"...

Hey, why don't you just show up when he shows up & outlift the crap out of his swollen ego? Then, in between sets you can go over & condescendingly mock him for being a "girly man"... I wouldn't actually call him that directly, I'd just offer honest strength training advice & point out that if he doesn't start lifting heavier, that eventually other "real men" might start to think he was a femme. Be sure to have wittnesses sitting a little ways off in case you need to give him some social therapy... (let him swing first)
 

Newman

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May 11, 2009
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Stop being a pus-c and learn to tell people to fuhk off.....its easy after you do it a few times LOL...

Good story, BTW :headbang:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Then again, there's always the more direct approach...
 

biggreenstacks

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May 16, 2010
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169
You've messed up

I wouldn't have put up with this at all. If he wants to be a dumba$$ I can too. That's a light weight for squats you should show him up so he knows he isn't moving any weight.
 

mexbeast

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Feb 22, 2009
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damn! if i knew this was going to piss me off i would not have read:banghead: sorry about your luck! next time he's benching offer a spot then when he can't press the bar up push it down on his neck, and your problems will be gone;)!
 

Fa Seeshus

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you are just jealous that i got that weight little bear.
 

buselmo

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May 6, 2006
Messages
2,277
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

next time when he does that, try to be in the middle of an exercise the moment he's done. the minute he starts whoring for attention with his yelling and screaming, just laugh real hard, drop the weight and keep on laughing and go to the bathroom. then come out with a tissue in your hand while wiping your eyes and giggle a bit. :D
 

Ehren

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Ask him if you can work in and do a widowmaker set of 20 with the weight he was using. WhattaDick!

This happens once in a while. Some asshat's gotta be yelling at some warm-up weight. I just tell them to go away. Not loud, not agressive. Just, "Dude...go away".

So many types there. Legit guys, good Bros, Douchebags, hipsters (which is totally beyond me. 1 set every 10 minutes and lost of texting).

Or then there's the "angry-old-guy". He's not in bad shape, he still trains. But ANY time one of the youngbloods who looks good is in there is training, he has to address any and all perceived insults. Don't get off the bench to drink from your water bottle 1 foot away, or he's gonna run over and tell you: rack your weights, respect the gym, don't think because you're young and in good shape you can just do whatever you want...all this while your towel is still on the bench...obviously still working.

I'm older, so it doesn't happen to me. But I feel for the young guys. It's funny to watch a friggin 240lb Bodybuilder just stand there and listen out of respect, like their dad just came into their room to ask why they didn't mow the lawn. :D
 

waynaferd

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Or then there's the "angry-old-guy". He's not in bad shape, he still trains. But ANY time one of the youngbloods who looks good is in there is training, he has to address any and all perceived insults. Don't get off the bench to drink from your water bottle 1 foot away, or he's gonna run over and tell you: rack your weights, respect the gym, don't think because you're young and in good shape you can just do whatever you want...all this while your towel is still on the bench...obviously still working.
LOL, this is the kind of old man I wanna be!!
 

Emery

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Dec 30, 2009
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Those types don't last long... They fizzle out and quit showing up...

I would not have the patience for that shit and neither would any of the other bodybuilders at my gym. If he is yelling and carrying on like he's pushing Branch Warren type weight... and it is what you stated, then he is mentally ill probably or, he has really bad hemorhoids and the sweat running down his ass crack causes him to uncontrollably act like an idiot due to the stinging asshole pain...

The chalk thing is funny. I see chalk rubbed on the 60 pound dumbells at my gym and always wonder who the hell is chalking them up and why?

Lots of dipshits in the world... Once I got into management I realized there's always that "ten percent". I guess my Marine Corps Drill Instructors were right about that "10 percent" rule!

Good luck and hang in there, he won't be around long!
 

massmonster32

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That sucks when I go just put my hat low headphones loud and eye on the prize. I hate watiing for equipment so I will do another exercise no one usually uses the squat rack. So the only time I dont wait if someone is doing barbell curls on the rack.

I will politely ask can I use the squat rack to do squats. Other than that I will find a comparble excercise dumbells or barbell or whatever and avoid dumbasses like that. They usually hurt themselves and you dont see them again. Good luck I would change my time If you can I always try to go before closing. Personally I try to never go on Mondays. Chest day for the whole gym arrrgggg. MM
 

ErnieTaylor

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May 5, 2010
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All gyms have douches like that.

It's like the guy at my gym who insists on doing curls (like 70pds :rolleyes:) at the squat rack. Sometimes I want to choke that motherfucker.
 

driven

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Ask him if you can work in and do a widowmaker set of 20 with the weight he was using.
x2.. or just add a plate to whatever he's doing and calmly rep it out with perfect form.. after a few sets of humiliating his PR, politely critique his form.. suggesting he lower the weight to something he can actually manage ;)
 

Newman

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May 11, 2009
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This is getting even funnier! I almost pissed myself reading this today.

Maybe try bringing in some power lifter chick in there to really outlift him...
 

BigEnough

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Jul 30, 2007
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6'3" 230 and not lean... I wouldn't call that big lol. I just ignore idiots like him, They're everywhere! Next time he says something to you, Just ignore him and keep doing what you were where you were, Act like you can't even hear him. Don't move for that punk! I'm sure because he's a lot taller than you he thinks hes the shit... You're the bigger man for keeping the peace, Good for you bro!
 

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