What do I do?

[Bigbill]

I have a situation where my wife is bi-polar and takes medication for it. The medication has all but killed her sex drive and her interest in sex. Now me on the other hand is a different story. I'm 48 yrs old and could have sex everyday of the week if I had a willing partner. I love my wife dearly and she is really hot, even with the added weight gain from the medication. I am very supportive of her and her condition, but I am losing my mind with this having sex maybe once every three weeks. My mind, I mean my dick says go get laid! But I know if I start it will be hard to stop. I have told her to speak with her doctor to see if she can be given some other medication or something that will help her sex drive but to no avail. What do I do?

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I have a situation where my wife is bi-polar and takes medication for it. The medication has all but killed her sex drive and her interest in sex. Now me on the other hand is a different story. I'm 48 yrs old and could have sex everyday of the week if I had a willing partner. I love my wife dearly and she is really hot, even with the added weight gain from the medication. I am very supportive of her and her condition, but I am losing my mind with this having sex maybe once every three weeks. My mind, I mean my dick says go get laid! But I know if I start it will be hard to stop. I have told her to speak with her doctor to see if she can be given some other medication or something that will help her sex drive but to no avail. What do I do?

Bill, what do you do? Understand that the same medication that's keep her from experiencing the highs and lows of her bi-polarity is also what's keeping her brain from getting "ramped up" to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm. Almost all the meds have sexual side effects of this nature.

You have, sorry to say, few options. You could find other women to have sex with but what kind of person would do such a thing. Your wife is ill. Can you work out something with her where you can achieve even if she doesn't? Take that however you like. I think if you communicate this to her in a way where you don't make her feel guilty or inadequate but still attractive and desired by you, she may accomodate you in some way. Marriage, I keep telling people is about giving to each other, not always getting! You give by being patient with her and understanding, gentle and caring, and she gives to you by understanding that you aren't on meds and still the guy she married.

Do you understand?

 

[Bigbill]

Bill, what do you do? Understand that the same medication that's keep her from experiencing the highs and lows of her bi-polarity is also what's keeping her brain from getting "ramped up" to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm. Almost all the meds have sexual side effects of this nature.

You have, sorry to say, few options. You could find other women to have sex with but what kind of person would do such a thing. Your wife is ill. Can you work out something with her where you can achieve even if she doesn't? Take that however you like. I think if you communicate this to her in a way where you don't make her feel guilty or inadequate but still attractive and desired by you, she may accomodate you in some way. Marriage, I keep telling people is about giving to each other, not always getting! You give by being patient with her and understanding, gentle and caring, and she gives to you by understanding that you aren't on meds and still the guy she married.

Do you understand?

Yes I understand! I hope I didn't sound like some selfish prick! It's just that it's going to take some getting used to. I have never made her feel inadequate nor guilty, I think that might happen anyway. The last time we spoke about it I told her not to worry, that I just wanted her to feel better about herself. We have been through things much worse than this and made it through so I pretty sure we'll get through this. Thanks

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Sounds great! You have a good attitude. That alone will carry you through but it also seems like the two of you communicate well. That being the case, how can you lose?

If she begins to make remarks that imply that she's feeling guilty, I'm sure you'll do everything you can to reassure her of your feeling for her.

Yes I understand! I hope I didn't sound like some selfish prick! It's just that it's going to take some getting used to. I have never made her feel inadequate nor guilty, I think that might happen anyway. The last time we spoke about it I told her not to worry, that I just wanted her to feel better about herself. We have been through things much worse than this and made it through so I pretty sure we'll get through this. Thanks

 

[fsm]

One thing I learned (too late) was that women like all that preliminary romantic fluff that we men could take or leave. Candles, soft music foreplay etc. Don't know if you do these things, but it always helps to let her know she is sexy!

 

[Bigbill]

Sounds great! You have a good attitude. That alone will carry you through but it also seems like the two of you communicate well. That being the case, how can you lose?

If she begins to make remarks that imply that she's feeling guilty, I'm sure you'll do everything you can to reassure her of your feeling for her.

Just an update. Things are much better than before. The doctor changed her meds around and it's made her much more prone to have sex. She's going on vacation with the kids and her girlfriend and her son this week, and seems like she's trying to drain every ounce out of me before she leaves!!! I'm glad I did'nt do anything stupid. Thanks Doc

 

[Mr Pickles]

ouch is a good guy.

glad things worked out for you.

seems like it was similar to a common problem for people on antidepressants... my buddy was on something for depression and couldnt get it up, didnt want sex.... Dr put him on wellburtrin and he was back to normal in a month or so...

glad it was an easy fix for you two

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Fantastic!!!

Even had she NOT changed medicative therapies, I think you two would have been fine because of your communication. Now that she has and things are working again, EVEN BETTER!

Congratulations. I love a good update.