When you realize nobody cares about you.....

TooPowerful4u · Jun 9, 2006

Im gonna ask the mods not to move this because i feel the majority of the members (my true family) are.

Here i am sitting here, the day before my final show, kind of depressed. What do you do when you think about your life and realize nobody truly cares about you? I have all these so-called friends (mostly poeple who i believe like to be able to claim their my friend or they know me), yet my childhood best friend has gone behind my back with girls more than once, and 2 others i would have called VERY good friends have done the same (one of which was last week 3 days away from a show. Its happened 2 other times, but they were ok friends, not GOOD friends. Thats a total of 5 and they all knew better.

I will be competing in my 9th show tomorrow, and i can count on one hand how many friends have shown up to support me. Mo (renegade) being the only person who was there more than once. It was sold and packed out last weekend, he got there late drove 2hrs and waited outside for me for 3hrs until i came out. Thats a friend. With all the money he had in his pocket he took me out to eat and we had a good time. He will be picking me up and driving me all day tomorrow, and i wish i could do something to return his kindness (although i did the same for him last year and paid for the hotel room haha).

I was just talking to my parents. My dad has to work which i understand, we need the $, but my mom made an AA commitment to speak that night after knowing i had the show. When i asked her she said no i wont be there i have something to do. She wouldnt help me with my tan this morning even when i had nobody, so im waiting for my best friend (my lil bro) to get home from school. Hes always there for me, love the kid to death and would die for him. I remember my boss (Rich Gaspari) telling me his father never missed a single show until he died. This just kinda saddens me...

The only thing that brightens up my life..... im so glad he enjoyed coming to my show with me last weekend and had a great time, i love taking him out n buyin him things n making him smile, not to mention he loves to be good at everything i am, so i do my best to teach him... iv already made him a championship wrestler... hes workin out and gained believe it or not 6lbs of muscle on pushups, pullups, decline drunches, and hyperextensions in the last 4 weeks on only protein shakes and (ahhh genetics

) and has just about doubled his reps in all if not more. 14yrs old.... the only thing that makes me smile, im glad i have pictures to look at whenever im down... i keep these with me everywhere....

ADD: ah fuck genetics... this lil fucker has lower lats visible and lower back striations when he sweats, takes my ass 8 weeks of dieting to see that lol, i just stick with my "hey im wider bitch" arguement with him haha

big-al · Jun 9, 2006

Bro, always look at it this way, Always be thankful for what you do have and the other stuff will take care of itself.

Rob Roy · Jun 9, 2006

You attract what you radiate

You know what bro, your going to find that as you move through life you'll have even less people that care about you. It's not you! It's them! Most people are just fricken selfish by nature. I've worked in the service industry my whole adult life. From running night clubs to health clubs. i learned a hard lesson when I left the night club industry. I knew every body and everybody "knew me". Yeah right! When I was the man everyone was tight with me. When I stepped out I started getting less n less calls. Ya know, "hey man can you get me in". Until finally not a one. Work on your own personal development with your mind, body and spirit. I believe in a saying that you "attract what you radiate". From The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. If you havn't read it, go get it. As you develop your self you will start to attract other like minded people. Remeber that people tend to fall victim to their surroundings. Dump the LOSERS that you are around. They are LOSERS. If they will F*ck your girl. They are no friend of yours. Just because you have known someone for a certain period of time does not constitute a friendship. F*ck them! Pardon the crude language. Get your head right and go out n Kick some Arse at the show. It's time to worry about yourself. I would say Good Luck, but it's not about luck it's about proper preparation. Rob Roy:st:r-wars

bulldog21 · Jun 9, 2006

Well bro you know I would be there if I didn't live 700 miles away! lol,

We have rapped about this before in the physch section but the same thing has happened to me with friends and girls many times in the past, it sucked complete ass when it happened to me and I wondered why at the time I deserved this to happen to me but I look back now on things and am grateful it happened, it wisened me up to who my real friends are, what kind of people can become good friends of mine and who to completely cut ties and weed out of my life.

I now have a handful of friends too and I am grateful for them, very grateful, I don't need anymore than those peeps. Granted I get along with everybody and there is honestly not one person on this planet I hate but when it comes to friends and family its a tight close circle and I like it that way as they all can get my full love and attention....

I understand feeling bad about your p's, mine aren't going to my show either and have only been to one. Mom digs it but my dad despises me being a bodybuilder. He loves me and all that but doesn't have any respect for the sport and he doesn't want to drive for 2.5 hours to watch me be on stage all of if I am lucky 5 minutes, I understand....

You are great guy TP4U you have a good head on your shoulders and you have alot to be thankful for, good luck tomorrow. hopefully I will see you in Vegas for the O.....

flexmaster · Jun 9, 2006

TP4U

i know we dont really talk but i feel compelled here...why look to others for gratification? i know it sucks to not feel socially/emotionally supported(have been there many many times). after my parents found out about my using aas, my parents (especially my dad) almost completely disowned me. my dad didnt say a single word to me for almost a year. i had finacial problems, relationship problems, school problems, work problems and was struggling with a horrible self image. i literally had no one to turn to for help. i've always kind of been a loner (which i like), but when i really needed people to help me out i had no one to turn to...IMHO your family should always be there for you, and it was hard to know that i could not ask them for help because i wouldnt get it. there were 4 times i broke down and called my dads cell, and he wouldnt answer, wouldnt call me back, even though in my message it was obvious i was desperate and had no where to turn. i had to firgure it all out on my own...and do it on my own. and you know what? im glad i had to.

people will always let you down, no matter how good the friend, there will always be those times where they cannot or do not want to be there. im sorry you have to kind of deal with the same stuff, it's hard to not feel loved, especially by family.

jawbreakerkid · Jun 9, 2006

as far as your friends...they are not friends. I have a few friends I know I can turn to when shit hits the fan, other than them, I have acquaintenances. Sounds like you have one true friend in Mo, that is alot more than most, so cherish that. Parents can be tricky. When you do something they may not approve of or agree with they can turn their backs on you. When I came home from college I was 270, my parents hated it, couldn't understand why I wanted to be so big. I blew out my shoulder shortly after coming home, had no job (got to love graduating college right after 9/11), no health insurance, and my parents, who have plenty of money to help, turned their backs on me. In their eyes it was a way that they could control my physique, no shoulder, no training. It didn't matter that I couldn't sleep at night or put a shirt on by myself...all they cared was I couldn't train and would get smaller. Pretty fucked up, but it doesn't mean your parents love you any less.

Good luck at your show

BiggerStronger · Jun 9, 2006

I have felt the same way many many times bro...it sucks, but you need to surround yourself with better people. Find yourself good people that you can trust fully be it guy or girl and hang out with them. Be there for them and they will be there for you. It goes both ways.

In the past I would hang out with my bar hopping/clubbing "friends" and I would always feel dissapointment when I was alone, because besides that contact they didn't give two shits about me. I was basically there to impress them in one way or another and I never cared enough about myself to do any better that that. In hanging out with these guys we would pick up lots of women at bars or clubs and I would sleep with them. I thought the answer was to meet/sleep with girls. Nope, didn't help. At the time it was fun, but in the end it made me even more stressed out and depressed.

Hmm...wonder why? None of it is meaningful...You need meaning in life to be happy. Either for yourself or others.

BrooklynBB · Jun 9, 2006

Life

Hey TP4U,

Man, your words resonate with me when you talk about people who you thought were your closest friends turning on you. The thing is, the more someone knows you, the easier it is for them to hurt you.

It's also easier for you to be hurt by them. What I mean is you expect more from those closest to you, and will accept shortcomings of those not so close to you. And that's where people fall into traps.

Your parents, I'm sure, have hurt you more often then anyone else you know. Hell, of course they did: You've interacted with them more in your life than anyone else you know. That's just how it is. They did it to me to. (Not your parents, haha, my parents.

)

Then you have your best friend. Man, I had a friend from kindergarten all the way through college and beyond. It took one piece of pussy to make him change his views on me. It's funny: He never had a problem with me or anything I said or did until that bitch he was with decided that I was a bad influence on him. Meanwhile, this was the guy who got me into drinking and having no problem cheating on my girl. BUT I'm THE BAD INFLUENCE! LOL!!

It goes on and on. And you're doing the right thing by keeping your brother close. But I'm noticing something about you, and you really have to change this: Stop depending on other people to make you feel good. You have to be at peace with yourself and your choices. If people disagree with you or step in your way, don't hate them for it. Just keep pressing on. They'll be kissing your ass in the end.

It sucks to not have the support of your friends. But you know what? You'll get new friends. The more success you have in your life and doing what you love to do, the more you'll find people who will be better friends and family then those you ever had previously. That's just the sad reality of life.

So don't take it personal that most people don't keep thier word, or most people can't make it to your shows or help you when you need it. And don't compare what you've done for others with what they've done for you. Do stuff for others because you want to, not because of the reward you're going to get.

I'll stay quiet now, but you seem like a great guy who just seems to allow yourself to get hurt by other people. Screw them man: Be your own person and surround yourself by REAL people and not phonies. It seems like you've found one in Mo. Keep him close man. He's definitely a true friend, and build from that.

Shelby · Jun 9, 2006

I don't think it's a matter of who you surround yourself with, though that can certainly have an impact. The main thing is YOU. Being content / happy / whatever starts and ends with YOU, not something outside of you.

TooPowerful4u · Jun 9, 2006

ok guys im back... carbed up.... feelin better.... nice tight... im gonna go out there n give it my best for me.... then be the best i can be. THen im gonna improve 10 fold and bring it again next year even bigger n better, nobies gonna stop me or hinder me. The best revenge is success....

Hey nobody commented on my lil bro, how awesome is he tho!!! I pulled him outta 8th period got him a pair of shoes, a movie, and some pizza... that made me feel alot better too

TooPowerful4u · Jun 9, 2006

I NEED TO SAY THIS. YOU HERE ARE ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. WHENEVER SOMETHING IS WRONG YOUR ALL ALWAYS HERE FOR ME. WHAT I DID TO DESERVE TO STUMBLE UPON THIS BOARD YEARS AGO AND BECOME PART OF THE BEST GROUP ON THE NET, IL NEVER KNOW. THANK YOU ALL COMPLETLY, I NEVER HESITATE TO COME HERE FOR ADVICE OR COMFORT ON ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE... AND YOU NEVER LET ME DOWN

happy · Jun 9, 2006

i here you bro i think the older you get the less friends you have everyone is to busy with thier own lives to care about anyone else, i am married 14 years
with 2 kids and i count my blessings for them, the make it all worth while when i feel down , i hope you feel better soon.
good luck.

mrcat · Jun 9, 2006

For me, sometimes I think parents total and complete lack of support for any sport I've trained for after HS is a generational thing. People in there generation just didn't do sports beyond HS in any numbers. Mine basically don't even want to talk about any sport or sporting activity I'm involved in. Makes for real interesting conversation, since it's generally a fairly large focus in my life LOL...

A true friend is someone that shows up on moving day, knowing you haven't packed, there won't be room for everything, and it's going to be a total disaster, just like the last 3 moves in the last 3 years.... a rare breed....

Got Juice · Jun 9, 2006

damn TooPoo is that your little bro on the left in that first pic? lol... If he keeps at it, starting at 14, he will be al little beast by the time he is 17..

also.. i think you parents prolly either dont understand how important this is to you, thats why they dont feel like its such a big deal to go.. OR, like others said, they might not support it 100%, but from what i have read from previous post you parents seem to be pretty supportive of it.

anyhow, like others have stated those fuc**** who back stabbed you are not friends at all.. i would distance myself from the because they are only going to bring you down.. stay focused, be a good role model for your little bro, continue to be a good person and good things will come.. everyone goes through some tough times unfortunately, but they only make you stronger and appreciate the good times that much more.

good luck at the show bro, give em hell.

later,

Vander_V · Jun 9, 2006

Life is what u make it my nucca

I moved out west in a Gad danm pig rig stuffed with everything i owned , i knew ZERO people and had no connections what so ever NONE , i lived by myself and went a full 2 months without getting some pussy , It was tuff but the more i tried to enjoy my life the better it became , i met hundreds of cool people made an empire of friends girls guys old people ect , by the 3rd yr i was well known and liked alot in this town , i now had the connections and hookups i needed at that time and age in my life , now its like i dont need anything or anybody funny how it works huh, i guess when you find your true love everything else is peanuts .

My advice to you is be posistive think positive thoughts the problem with you is DOUBT, you doubt alot of things in your life , stop doubting start living bro .

BTW you know a mutha fuckas got yo back u here what im saying big Hairy Bush.

HUTCH · Jun 10, 2006

You think its bad now wait until you get married and have kids, ALL your friends will disappear....your frineds without kids and a wife wont be able to related to you anymore...Same thing with bodybuilding, its a lot easier to have friends when can go get drunk whenever and dont have to put things aside to go train, cook and eat, sleep...As far as your girls sleeping with your boys thats just you choosing the wrong girls....Good luck in the comp man..

ECL · Jun 10, 2006

you are good people

i like how yoou put all of this together.
i know you going to very good at this show.
life sometimes sucks,but what doesnt kills us makes us stronger.
and you are definetly strong.
GOD bless you bro.

ECL

bigbadasian · Jun 10, 2006

Reply

|--[\\\]>--------- Isnt it strange that ppl who you have never met or maybe never will can be more of a 'friend' than real ones in your life?! i was very popular in highschool and colleage, but ever since i moved away, no one ever tries to contact me...but hey, life goes on. im just thankful for my family, girlfriend, dog and my health. Stay strong and just look to those who are really there for you all the time and just stick to them, and if it's only PM family, then so be it! good luck at your show