work dilema

tomuchgear · Nov 13, 2008

ok so if any one hasnt figured out what i do for a living. i work with a special needs child. dont ask for to many detail there due to confidentiality. any way been doing this for six years. this past year has been needless to day brutal. long hours dealing with schools or what not. a little hard to explain. any way new school new problems kind of the same old problems. took this job as a way to get through colledge six years later still living in the same state working the same job. grown very attached needless to say. now a new possibility has dropped into my lap. this is were the confusion comes into play. there is a possability i may be offerd a job with in the school system. basicaly to be there for the child that i work with. since for what ever reason i am the only one who connects with him. i am also the only one he doesnt try to bite there fingers, and what ever else he can get ahold of. dont know why we groove so well but we do. taking this job i would still be working my normal hours wich is 7 days a week. i would just be working well over the nine to five. limiting my time with my family. i have a true detest for the school system, but could be there to make sure the child was looked out for. also to prevent him from having the problems he is having. basicaly the job would mean health benefits, more money, more hours, and benefits in general. every one around me says to do it. seems though taking this job makes it so much more permenant. i dont know if thats what i want. i go to work even when i am burnt out annoyed with things. only for the child. this person has touched my life a great deal in there own way. five years working with this child will no longer be an option. basicaly just looking for some opinions here. is this the right path for me. in this field i spent years getting out of a shadow. now i am am well known around the area in my chosen field. made a name for myself in a field i never thought i would go into. any thoughts good or bad are appriciated.

mooshue · Nov 13, 2008

when i was married, my step son was autistic. He was pretty high functioning, could learn and do most of the things everyone else could do, he just had those ticks that caused him to loose interest, burst out, etc... We finally found out that he was able to get an aide. With the aide, he excelled well beyond what anyone expected, i commend you and everyone else in that field for doing what you do and keeping them on task.
I have to say from experience, if the aide, the same aide the child knows and loves can stay with him for as long as possible, the better the child will do. Once my step son got into middle school, the aides would get shuffeled around to other children, get transferred to other schools, new aides would have to be hired and the kids would be left on their own failing miserably. I hear ya on the school system and id make sure that isn't a possibility of happening to you.
If you truly are doing it for the kid, then the right thing would be stick with him. However, having your own family, they should come first. Its a tough spot man.

tazdevil · Nov 13, 2008

From one Ohio guy to another...

Obviously, you are in a tough spot and there are pro's and con's to whatever decision you make. Try making a list of the pro's and the con's and see if that helps. Sometimes by looking at it on paper the clear choice becomes aparent. Remember, the needs of you and your family come before anything else. My prayers are with you in that you will make the right choice for everyone involved.

blackhole2 · Nov 13, 2008

tomuchgear said:
ok so if any one hasnt figured out what i do for a living. i work with a special needs child. dont ask for to many detail there due to confidentiality. any way been doing this for six years. this past year has been needless to day brutal. long hours dealing with schools or what not. a little hard to explain. any way new school new problems kind of the same old problems. took this job as a way to get through colledge six years later still living in the same state working the same job. grown very attached needless to say. now a new possibility has dropped into my lap. this is were the confusion comes into play. there is a possability i may be offerd a job with in the school system. basicaly to be there for the child that i work with. since for what ever reason i am the only one who connects with him. i am also the only one he doesnt try to bite there fingers, and what ever else he can get ahold of. dont know why we groove so well but we do. taking this job i would still be working my normal hours wich is 7 days a week. i would just be working well over the nine to five. limiting my time with my family. i have a true detest for the school system, but could be there to make sure the child was looked out for. also to prevent him from having the problems he is having. basicaly the job would mean health benefits, more money, more hours, and benefits in general. every one around me says to do it. seems though taking this job makes it so much more permenant. i dont know if thats what i want. i go to work even when i am burnt out annoyed with things. only for the child. this person has touched my life a great deal in there own way. five years working with this child will no longer be an option. basicaly just looking for some opinions here. is this the right path for me. in this field i spent years getting out of a shadow. now i am am well known around the area in my chosen field. made a name for myself in a field i never thought i would go into. any thoughts good or bad are appriciated.

Where will you be in 5 years from now going either way?

Yes, special needs children are really something they put us to shame and open our eyes.

oldfella · Nov 13, 2008

I worked with special kids in my gym for 4 yrs. The same group of kids for the entire 4 yrs. So I fully understand the attachment you have made. But your own family will need to come first. It is not like you are abandoning him.

Your concerns over the level of care and attention he will get are founded. It is a tough call but no matter what you choose to do he will still be a part of your life!!

OuchThatHurts · Nov 13, 2008

tomuchgear said:
basicaly just looking for some opinions here.

Clearly there is not a single definite moral choice either way. You have the benefit of being able to make a decision without being compelled by conscience. What you're left with here is a pure, 100%, grade-A decision to make.

I can only offer you my subjective opinion. I don't believe that life is a game of dice and I don't believe in chance or coincidence. I read through your post and I see someone describing what most people would refer to as a calling. It sounds as though you have a gift. You can do anything or nothing with that gift and you shouldn't feel bad about it either way. Any gift can be used or not at your discretion.

However, be that as it may, I still am sitting here wondering how you'll feel in a few years if you don't at least try something new. Will you feel resentful? Will you regret not pursuing some other endeavor? If so, then I would at least see what's out there. It's your journey. It's like I told someone else in here a while back - better to make a choice or a decision while you still have a choice then to wait until you no longer have a choice and risk experiencing regret.

tomuchgear · Nov 13, 2008

wow some really good responces thanks guys. common consensus here is to take the job from every one i have talked to. the definite offer came through today so i have to answer tom. i decided i am going to take the job. one so i can be there with the child. my position will be bit diffrent than originaly thought. i will be the childs one on one aid in the classroom. so thats a definite plus. also being around the other children is cool. i have had interaction with them earlier on in the school year and absolutely love the class. alot of really cool kids. my brother told me to look at it this way nothing has to be permenant. give it the rest of the year and go from there. so i am going to give it a shot. thanks guys for all the input here. i am not sure when i will start the longer days. oh also nother plus note i get to make my own hours still. since i bring the child to school in the morning then get him off the bus in the afternoon. they are willing to work around that. if nothing else a great new learning expierience.

thebrick · Nov 14, 2008

I think you are doing the right thing. Explore the path put before you. Like your brother told you. Nothing is carved in stone.

oldfella · Nov 14, 2008

Good choice! Now you will be in a position to help more than just the one, without losing the contact with the one. I believe you will find great reward in your choice and a new experience. People like you do not come along everyday. I learned a great deal about humility from these kids. It will bring you a whole new level of fulfilment and sense of purpose. There is not a day goes by that I do not reflect in some way about the times I got to share with my kids. I use the word "my" as a term of endearment to those kids. They allowed me into their world, not the other way around. You will enjoy the new position. Good choice and all the very best with it!!

tomuchgear · Nov 14, 2008

thanks i am looking forward to it. gotta make the call today to tell them i am accepting the position then find out when i start. going to make for some really long days though lol.

tomuchgear · Nov 15, 2008

thank you for your post and advice. yes this child is my first client but not the only client i have worked with. there is just a bit more to the situation as per me being there. i can go into some detail but not to much to help explain my position. couple years ago the school system was doing bout the same thing. some one in a higher up position told them to quit calling me into the school every time they needed help. they quit then arrested the child for a violent outburst. dont know to this day how that one happend. things like that have been going on for years. the arrest only once and no charges when the childs mother went down there with her lawyer and threatend a heavy law suit. last year some how the no child left behind act was ignored. the child was suspended from school from early october to mid november. back in school till some time in march. then out of school the rest of the year. when the child is not in school then typical day, and some evening hours plus weekends is in my care. granted i am the first to admit after working with this child for so long i am more attached than what i should be. granted but i can work with this child with out stitches as well. in my care alot of behavior problems have stopped and communication has gone up. for what ever reason we just click with each other. the school system cant or wont find another alternative. seems it would be better to be on the inside as opposed to keeping my phone on me at all times during the day and being on call. so hopefuly my presance there will make the school days easier again. the start of the year i went in to help with transitioning. that went well but every is saying the honey moon is over. so we will see what happens i will definetly keep the thread updated. thanks again every one for your comments.

Sassy · Nov 18, 2008

That sounded like a tough decision.

I just wanted to wish you good luck!

tomuchgear · Nov 18, 2008

thanks ya it was but wasnt i guess lol. been going in for a couple hours past two days. trying to get a feel for what goes on in the class room and all that. should be starting after the first.

tomuchgear · Mar 3, 2009

well i am updating this havent been on here much in a while.short version got interview all that. turned job down. what i was promissed when job was offerd was way diffrent when hiring came around. on a odd turn of fate the class room i would have ended up in is now the class room the child i work with is in. its been a really crazy past few months. very stress full. now going to class room 8-10 i think i was doing that when i started this thread cant remember. so thats bout it really. child i work with is really thriving in the new class room setting. gets alot more hands on attention not just from me. so so far so good.