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Im 20, my girlfriend is 19 in a few days. She attends a University 140miles away from me. She has school 5 days a week, and we've agreed on every 2 weeks, she comes home, and I come up when possible. I however, go to school Monday/Wednesday and work full time then, the rest of the week I trying to maintain active in the gym. She fell in love with me first and hard, We both lost our virginity together, she and I both came from fucked up relationships. She was emotionally abused and the guy was a real dirt bag who Id kill for her if she asked. This guy was one of those losers who couldn't keep a girl his age, so he fucked with high school girls obviously. We hit our year mark in November.
I did fool around in the beginning,(The first two months must of been the prime of my life or something, even my friends were like "bro, wtf is going on" every weekend and almost once in the middle of the week, a new girl we kicked it with. Everyone else struck out. Sex was a whole new thing, I did hesitate to loose it in high school and outside of it. The first 2 months, I was whatever about it, not sprung as she was, she was hot to me, and I was like "heh, i'll take her" She didn't have a lot of friends really, if any, about 3-7 friends. Even then, they were drama and pretty lame. I had a life full of them, drinking bottles of GG and UV in a night. Passing out, staying out late, always chillin, Having fun, doing it all. She made a comment, she didn't feel I cared, so I made the effort, explained to her I was "scared" to fall in love, which I somewhat am because, when I get attached, im focused on that one person. "when a man lovers a woman" - Percey S. haha.
We'll things were ok up until Thanks Giving Weekend, she came home, We sat in the back seat of her car,(I asked her to make out, cause we usually kiss and do the whole nine yards but sometimes kissing is just fun, brings back some of the innocent times that were still memorable.) She begins to Explain that she would want to experience other people, and I told her, at least we did this right for our first time in something serious, it wasn't random. I offer her to just go separate ways, telling her I love her and she begins to cry, and when she does, I do too. She hides from her problems, always has. She ignores ex's and doesn't talk to them or about them much, pretends like nothing ever happened between them and moves on. On the inside shes building up with pain. She doesn't want to, so we kiss and pretty much do a love scene except in a car with leather,(LEATHER SUCKS!)
Then, I begin to wonder if I should allow her to really be free. Let her go, I came to the conclusion, something had to of happened, when you're in love, and you think about that one person, you only think of them. I let her go to clubs when she was down here with me and her family. She danced, all that stuff, she comes home to me so, I didn't care. Well the weekend before thanks giving, she told me she was at a party buzzed and a guy tried to kiss her when dancing. and it made her want to experience other ppl. Obviously, they kissed, or he kissed her but she didn't do anything, my gf is horny when shes buzzed/drunk. most are.
Our relationship has been very truthful up until she went to school. I was never into drugs, however, I have always been curious. She stopped smoking cigarettes for me. She has friends up there that are always high, and I asked her if she had done it because shes with those type of people so much, she pauses to answer and then I say "don't lie to me". She had done it twice and I felt like a fucking idiot for not knowing...I mean my girlfriend doesn't confide in me, then she never told me about the guy till I asked, if she spoke up, I would of blew it off, "ohh babe, I smoked today" or something to that extent, or "I tried it a few days ago"...etc I had to ask her about the guy who tried to kiss her too. I explained to her when you sleep with someone else, am I going to have to ask too? I told her flat out, im doing roids, etc, etc. She wasn't comfortable but im honest and open. She was with me too, until she left for school.
My heart grew fonder cause of the distance, we'd get hotels when she'd come down and have a SEX FEST 08 or id go to her dorm and stay the night for the weekend. It was to get away from both our parents, my house is small, my room isn't ideal for a hangout place because I have no TV or anything really, my family is always in our living room. Our anniversary, was the best yet, I spent 100$ on lingerie and edibles. Crown Royal Hotel on the top floor almost, a huge window in front, (we're a young kinky couple in case your wondering.)
I tried all week to break up with her, and she explained to me that she meant in the future, she was stupid for telling me that, and she didn't want that. She promised to let me know when she wants a break. She told me she thinks we met to young. This is the first argument that we've had in 1 year, nothing else. We both see the future with us, just not forever right now. Now, im becoming that insane boyfriend who thinks shes cheating when she doesn't pick up the phone, or respond back to me fast enough. Shes coming down this Friday or I may pick her up from school, thank god gas is cheap! 1.75/gal!! in a v8 it sucks. but she'll be here for 3 weeks. I dont know what to do, Im going to play some minor "games" with her, I never did before, but, I think I need to get her back on some type of leash, I let it go to far. So, I have to get her jealous and realize im not living around her life but my own instead.
She was supposed to help me with some homework last night over the phone and through the computer, we agreed in 30 minutes cause she was in the library studying, and instead she was with her friend Helen watching movies 30 minutes later, asking me to wait till after, I wasn't gonna stay up until 1am to get help. She texted me last asking me when my final was and I never responded, I plan on not responding and if she asks what I was doing a girl in my class helped me. Maybe it sounds childish to play games but, its what I feel is necessary.
I think I fucked up venting and being all emotional with her. She more then likely thinks shes in control. Im also in PCT right now, and tapering letro as we speak.
sorry if this turns into my life story.
venting helps.
PS shes a very straight forward girl, a very good girl(virgin) she lied about oral too just so I thought she had some experience. I never cared if she did or not.
I did fool around in the beginning,(The first two months must of been the prime of my life or something, even my friends were like "bro, wtf is going on" every weekend and almost once in the middle of the week, a new girl we kicked it with. Everyone else struck out. Sex was a whole new thing, I did hesitate to loose it in high school and outside of it. The first 2 months, I was whatever about it, not sprung as she was, she was hot to me, and I was like "heh, i'll take her" She didn't have a lot of friends really, if any, about 3-7 friends. Even then, they were drama and pretty lame. I had a life full of them, drinking bottles of GG and UV in a night. Passing out, staying out late, always chillin, Having fun, doing it all. She made a comment, she didn't feel I cared, so I made the effort, explained to her I was "scared" to fall in love, which I somewhat am because, when I get attached, im focused on that one person. "when a man lovers a woman" - Percey S. haha.
We'll things were ok up until Thanks Giving Weekend, she came home, We sat in the back seat of her car,(I asked her to make out, cause we usually kiss and do the whole nine yards but sometimes kissing is just fun, brings back some of the innocent times that were still memorable.) She begins to Explain that she would want to experience other people, and I told her, at least we did this right for our first time in something serious, it wasn't random. I offer her to just go separate ways, telling her I love her and she begins to cry, and when she does, I do too. She hides from her problems, always has. She ignores ex's and doesn't talk to them or about them much, pretends like nothing ever happened between them and moves on. On the inside shes building up with pain. She doesn't want to, so we kiss and pretty much do a love scene except in a car with leather,(LEATHER SUCKS!)
Then, I begin to wonder if I should allow her to really be free. Let her go, I came to the conclusion, something had to of happened, when you're in love, and you think about that one person, you only think of them. I let her go to clubs when she was down here with me and her family. She danced, all that stuff, she comes home to me so, I didn't care. Well the weekend before thanks giving, she told me she was at a party buzzed and a guy tried to kiss her when dancing. and it made her want to experience other ppl. Obviously, they kissed, or he kissed her but she didn't do anything, my gf is horny when shes buzzed/drunk. most are.
Our relationship has been very truthful up until she went to school. I was never into drugs, however, I have always been curious. She stopped smoking cigarettes for me. She has friends up there that are always high, and I asked her if she had done it because shes with those type of people so much, she pauses to answer and then I say "don't lie to me". She had done it twice and I felt like a fucking idiot for not knowing...I mean my girlfriend doesn't confide in me, then she never told me about the guy till I asked, if she spoke up, I would of blew it off, "ohh babe, I smoked today" or something to that extent, or "I tried it a few days ago"...etc I had to ask her about the guy who tried to kiss her too. I explained to her when you sleep with someone else, am I going to have to ask too? I told her flat out, im doing roids, etc, etc. She wasn't comfortable but im honest and open. She was with me too, until she left for school.
My heart grew fonder cause of the distance, we'd get hotels when she'd come down and have a SEX FEST 08 or id go to her dorm and stay the night for the weekend. It was to get away from both our parents, my house is small, my room isn't ideal for a hangout place because I have no TV or anything really, my family is always in our living room. Our anniversary, was the best yet, I spent 100$ on lingerie and edibles. Crown Royal Hotel on the top floor almost, a huge window in front, (we're a young kinky couple in case your wondering.)
I tried all week to break up with her, and she explained to me that she meant in the future, she was stupid for telling me that, and she didn't want that. She promised to let me know when she wants a break. She told me she thinks we met to young. This is the first argument that we've had in 1 year, nothing else. We both see the future with us, just not forever right now. Now, im becoming that insane boyfriend who thinks shes cheating when she doesn't pick up the phone, or respond back to me fast enough. Shes coming down this Friday or I may pick her up from school, thank god gas is cheap! 1.75/gal!! in a v8 it sucks. but she'll be here for 3 weeks. I dont know what to do, Im going to play some minor "games" with her, I never did before, but, I think I need to get her back on some type of leash, I let it go to far. So, I have to get her jealous and realize im not living around her life but my own instead.
She was supposed to help me with some homework last night over the phone and through the computer, we agreed in 30 minutes cause she was in the library studying, and instead she was with her friend Helen watching movies 30 minutes later, asking me to wait till after, I wasn't gonna stay up until 1am to get help. She texted me last asking me when my final was and I never responded, I plan on not responding and if she asks what I was doing a girl in my class helped me. Maybe it sounds childish to play games but, its what I feel is necessary.
I think I fucked up venting and being all emotional with her. She more then likely thinks shes in control. Im also in PCT right now, and tapering letro as we speak.
sorry if this turns into my life story.
venting helps.PS shes a very straight forward girl, a very good girl(virgin) she lied about oral too just so I thought she had some experience. I never cared if she did or not.
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