Got to get this off my chest!!!!

[gcherry87]

You are getting a lot of solid advice. Listen to it. When I went through mine, a bunch of my friends said, "just wait, things will get better over time." It didn't seem possible then, but now 8 years later, things are great. IT WILL GET BETTER. You are far from the first. You will come out of this stronger, a better Dad, and a better husband for the next one -- if you listen to the guys here telling you the way it is.

Do not do anything that looks petty, and do not waste your money on your lawyer arguing over who gets the material stuff. You will pay your attorney way more than any furniture.

Also remember that just because the Court issues an order does not mean that she will live up to it. But if you go back to Court every time she doesn't comply, guess who gets made out to be the dickhead?

You must accept reality, do not think in terms of ought. There is no justice in the justice system, especially when it comes to this.

All the judge wants to do is get the case over and done with so that he can meet both your lawyer and your wife's lawyer for dinner and drinks at the country club. There is no one in this process other than you and we hope your parents who gives a shit about you. You will have to stop thinking about your brother in terms of additional hurt. Just think of him as an anonymous asshole she met at a bar. That is because you cannot get distracted. Put him on the list for later.

Your goal is to get in and out Court with a reasonable agreement. Even if it is shared custody the little whore sounds like she will giving them to you a lot so she can go do her thing. You will not win the war in Court, you will win it afterwards by being a the best Dad you can be.

Stay calm, stay clear. My heart is with you. I ended up with three of four of my sons -- over time. You are 1 year older than my oldest. I know I don't really know you, or you me, but I am telling you that I am with you. And obviously a lot of other bros here, too. You will be ok.

Thanks bro. i am going to do just that! one thing i am worried about is the house. its all in my name though. if she tried to get it do you think she would be able to? Yeah and her loss im a good guy great provider and i think a great dad. eventually like you said i know i will come out on top.

 

[Sean.]

Alot of great advice, I went through a split up as well with kids involved. She cheated, lied and stole off the Government and was charged. Guess what? She still got the kids! The laws in the US and Canada are pro women when it comes to divorce. I thought I had it bad until I saw a few other dads with ALOT worse situations. Best advice is meet in the middle and be rid of her, don't let her try and use you. Out of sight out of mind, and remember bra "Time Heals Everything" Good luck..

 

[blaze918]

Dude that sucks :/ not cool at all, hope things get better for you.

 

[richiec]

Since you were the provider, be prepared to pay alimony (sp). Courts favor the mother, despite how bad she may be. I've seen alcoholic/drug addict moms end up with the kids over a clean and sober dad due to her being the mom. Society today doesn't regard a father as much as a mom, which is quite sad. Best of luck bro, praying for you

 

[gcherry87]

Thanks bro! Yeah this is going to be a long and shitty road thats for sure

 

[plumpsumo]

There's a silver lining to every cloud. One day soon you may meet someone much better than her and deserving of your efforts. Just keep your head up, take the punches as they come, and you'll make it out OK. It's all business now, so try not to take it personal, as hard as that may be right now.

 

[Jahcuree]

Goodluck gcherry man, i cant even begin to feel what you are feeling right now but stay strong brotha. Im very sorry this all happened to you. Goodluck

 

[gcherry87]

Goodluck gcherry man, i cant even begin to feel what you are feeling right now but stay strong brotha. Im very sorry this all happened to you. Goodluck

Thanks bro, the way im looking at it now is getting to hit the gym more, longer, and harder. Il keep you guuys posted on everything. thanks again for all the advice and from the guys that had to deal with this also.
I can only get stronger from this point on

 

[kotter716]

I hope you don't live in California..its a "no fault" state or something like that..meaning that the act that is causing the divorce is not even considered when dealing with custody and money. My friends parents are divorcing because her mom screwed around on her dad and HE'S getting raked over the coals financially and in terms of custody because in Cali the mother has an automatic %51 entitlement to the kids unless she is deemed unsuitable. This is if you are in Cali from how I've understood what my friend has told me about her parents situation. Good Luck and I hope it works out for you. Should have waited until the dust settled to deal with your brother and then go after him when he doesn't expect it or just don't ever let him ANY interaction with your kids and their uncle...not to be a dick, but given you found out she has a history of screwing around on you..are the boys all yours?

 

[ConanX]

Can't give you any advice since I've never been through this. All I can tell you is to stay strong and never give up! You still have your health, bodybuilding, and CHILDREN. Everything will work out in the end even though it looks dark right now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes!

 

[johnjuanb1]

Man...That's horrible! What a cold-blooded way to treat you when you gave her everything! I'm sorry you're going through this nightmare! Keep taking out your rage and frustration on the weights.

This may be totally wrong/inappropriate of me to say, but the first thing that entered my mind when I read your story is oJ Simpson. OJ, Baby!!! Hahaha...but be smart and take it out on the weights. Good luck, Brotha!!!

 

[f450]

tough situation brother. Women can be scum. Sorry you have experienced this first hand.

STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS YOU CAN!

 

[biggpoppapump]

B smart. I've been married 21 years. Get your shhit in order. Protect your assets you first then kids. Apologize to your brother have his statement off the affair putt on tape or writing if you use your noddle hhe will cooperate. Be nice all the fucking time. Don't let any one take your peace when its where you want. Smile like a muthafuker. God b w/u.

 

[alterntego]

went through all the shit you did with a couple of diff. twists . wont even go into it . it was hell . as i look back at it it was the best thing that has ever happened to me . fate rewarded me with the best thing tthat could have ever happened to me . she is poison my friend and i hope you can just get over her and move on without doing any damage to yourself or those around you . the kids are what make it the toughest and i had two of them with my ex . they will be fine no matter what happens . get away from her and get her out of your head there is no going back . go forward . have as little communication with her as possible for a long long long time . its doable and it makes it better for you her and them . look up and look forward . just my two cents

 

[kid1dakota]

That is an aweful story of betrayal by not one but two individuals.Do you have insurance or access to counseling? how you handle this mentally and emotionally could really impact your future ability to care ,trust and love others, which is understandable.But is what you need to focus on is those boys and mending your own broken heart.

"what comes around goes around" and karma etc....She and your brother will get theirs in due time, I promise! it may not be tomorrow or next month but it will come.

Your goal should be not to let this change you and the good person you are.It will make you stronger and wiser but not a hard and bitter(well,not long term anyway) man.You will move on and have love ,happiness and peace.

Let your attorney handle the legal and you focus on those boys and yourself(healing and being a good man).

 

[Gaintrain]

bro that is messd up! #1 keep your cool and dont do anything stupid in the divorce process! prove that the whoreish bitch cheated on you so you look good! she sounds like a gold digging peice of whore trash!

i'm sorry bro i dont know what to say about your brother that is FUCKD up! what kinda backstabbing shit is this! to do this to your own brother is mind blowing....

p.s you probably shouldnt have woopd your bros ass and should just said have fun finding a new brother but YOU know what fuck it the sun of a bitch had it coming cause to do that to you is fucking low!

 

[renewlyf]

Sorry you're going through this man. There are some very sick people out there!! Alchoholics and addicts are some of the most sick and selfish ones. I know I was one. Keep strong for your kids. They need there father now more than anything. Sounds like your a stand up guy! I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Ehren]

That is some TERRIBLE shit , Bro. Sorry to hear it. Buckle up for the divorce and no matter what happens, remember, you have right on your side. You can live with yourself as a good man and honest husband. Your self respect is intact. so you're already far richer than they'll ever be. None of this can be said of your brother or soon to be ex. They have no honor and never will. Remember that...remember it, and treat them in court without mercy as they have treated you.

Fucked up people do fucked up things. Your brother is the worse of the two, IMO. HELL no, you shouldn't feel bad. For what?!? He got what he had coming, maybe less than he had coming...but the worst beating can't change him...so fuck it. More wouldn't help.

Bottom line, she would have found someone else to fuck if that's who she is. But your brother made a choice against his own FAMILY, his own blood...he can't be helped. He's just lost. So don't feel bad at all! Hell, I hate my brother, but I'd NEVER do that or even think of it. WTF is wrong with people?

Bro, I'm sorry for all that's happened to you. Keep your head up and keep fighting for your kids.

 

[littlejames]

Hey bro swervedriver is an attorny give him a message he may beable to point you in the right direcction. I no that you can sue for loss of affection . From where she slept with those guys and there alot of other things . swervedriver will help as much as he can.

 

[tmuscle]

You know that the state of the nation and society is really, really fucked up when good guys like this end up in situations like this and a majority of the time, lose.

My heart goes out for you brother