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Have you ever realized to what extent you have body dysmorphia?

I had pretty severe body dysmorphia when I was younger. I think it stemmed from everyone in my family being large and I was always small. I don't think.I have it too much anymore but I am older and don't hangout in hardcore gyms! I do get the dude/chick/they,them is stronger/better shape.than me and I don't like it. I will wind up killing myself chasing a dream long gone. I don't get it from pros as they are not really my peers and I would not be willing to do what they did to get there. I never would have in my life nor would I probably have been a pro if I did. I really just want to get in shape and seem to have joined the "I don't want to get much bigge"crowd(because I can't). Everyone has been asking me if I am back on steroids and it malkes me happy until I take progress pics....lol

Also I took up krav/jujitsu/Muay Thai a little before 30 and really think that strips a lot of vanity off you. I kinda quit looking in mirror, I took my brother to the hospital once and the.Drs came and seemed to be more worried about me being bruised up. I didn't think I had any. So I kinda gave up the " pro dream" early in life.
 

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