Life suck's

[Geoffke]

My eyes tell the sadness I feels inside
Surrounded by darkness while the sun shining bright
The smile on my face is just to pretend
That nothing is wrong but I'm marked till the end
Confusion throws a young man's mind apart
Like a knife that cuts out the feeling of my heart

The past, it's never gone, constantly it will return
Memories in my soul, forever burn
Moments of pain, without any fun
There's to much misery in a life that's just begun
I feel old but I'm only a teen
Dark side of a thing called life is all I've seen
The way I look tell you more than words can say
I'm alone with fears in a world of betray
None can share my pain, it's a stigma deep inside
I need a rest but it's a never ending fight
The past, it's never gone, constantly it will return
Memories in my soul, forever burn
Moments of pain, without any fun
There's to much misery in a life that's just begun

The tears that have fallen, they will fall again
Again and again I feel the fear I felt then
I only wish is to lock that door to the past
And throw away the key faster than fast
Only than stops the pain I doesn't deserve
Only than stops the pain that none deserves

The past, it's never gone, constantly it will return
Memories in my soul, forever burn
Moments of pain, without any fun
There's to much misery in a life that's just begun

Think I do really wanna die
Kiss this sorry world good-bye
"Fuck you all, everyone"
Will be my final words before I shoot my gun

G.

 

[BigBoyJ]

What the hell was that? Did you write that? Damn man, nothing is that bad. I've sawed off my hand, lost a wife, lost a baby, lost my home, lost my job all at the same time, but I'm still here. Don't be weak. Whatever life throws at you, be determined that YOU will be stronger than any problem. Tragedies pass and you're stronger when you've made it through them. You may think that no one cares. But someone does. Hell, I don't even know you but I care enough about you to tell you DON'T GIVE UP. I've been through some shit in my life. There were periods of years that it felt like it would never end. But, it did end. And now I know what I'm made of. You can do the same. You can make it through anything. And whether you believe in God, or not. PRAY.

 

[Geoffke]

What the hell was that? Did you write that? Damn man, nothing is that bad. I've sawed off my hand, lost a wife, lost a baby, lost my home, lost my job all at the same time, but I'm still here. Don't be weak. Whatever life throws at you, be determined that YOU will be stronger than any problem. Tragedies pass and you're stronger when you've made it through them. You may think that no one cares. But someone does. Hell, I don't even know you but I care enough about you to tell you DON'T GIVE UP. I've been through some shit in my life. There were periods of years that it felt like it would never end. But, it did end. And now I know what I'm made of. You can do the same. You can make it through anything. And whether you believe in God, or not. PRAY.

Hey thanks for your reply. I didn't write it but this poem tells what I feel.
Since a few years I have health problems. Due a rec.drug overdose my vision got damaged... I have a blurry vision now. I have to life with it.
The worst thing is that I'm almost sure that someone gave me bad drugs, to hurt me, because I was having a fight with this guy, who lives now in a mental clinic.
So my bad vision is caused by some guy.
God knows ... that the day I can't take it anymore, I'm gonna blow his head of, and then take my life.
I have other problems to, with my ears... I hear a sound all day, that's in my head. I can't explean it because I don't know the name for it in English.
So imagine... you wake up, you hear that sound... when you fall a sleep you hear that sound. I can never rest It makes me insane.
Everday I have pain in my testes, the doc said it's allright, it's not dangerous... but they have to remove something then.
And nowone comes near my balls!

A few weeks ago I got my test levels checked and it was way below normal.
So that's fucked up also...
Now a few days ago my girlfriend left... and this was to much.
Turns out she never loved me and she was just using me.
I love that girl with all my heart.
I was happy again, I could smile again.
When she looked in my eyes and said: I love you ...
And now, ... she's gone with another man.

But I'm brave and offcourse I can't give up.
But in all honesly ... I just don't like life anymore...

Thanks for your help and words, I appreciate it.

 

[BigBoyJ]

You'll be all right, man. Life can kick the shit out of you. Be patient. Take each day as it comes. Just remember that you aren't the only one who's had to go through things like this. It may sound strange, but when I start feeling depressed and sorry for myself, I think of all the people who have it so much worse than me. I think of people born with disabilities, or someone who became disabled in a car wreck. I think of all the people who have to go to bed hungry and watch their familes die from starvation. I think of aids and cancer victims who have to spend years suffering. Then I start to realize how blessed I am. I have to remind myself that no matter what problems I have, there is always someone who has it worse and I HAVE NO RIGHT to feel sorry for myself because I really am a lucky bastard. I was born healthy, and I always have plenty to eat. Sometimes you have to get back to the basics and think of how blessed you are for the things you DO have.

Just stay strong; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Don't let anything get the best of you. Something can come along and knock you down, but ALWAYS get your ass back up.

 

[Geoffke]

Waw... you really made me thinking.
You're right, feeling sorrow for myself is not gonna help me.
Bodybuilding helped me alot to keep my sanity.
When I look in to the mirror, I see: this is what I have done and I'm damn
proud about it.
My dream is to compete in a few years... if I work hard enough, then
maybe I can step on stage, and that's what I always been dreaming of.
So I'll try to keep strong... thanks for listening

 

[di8kids]

Life is a test

I think of life as a test. There is a lot of stuff that will pass through and test us. I have determined to always do and be my best--No matter what comes my way. Each test that you will go through will just strengthen you and make you a better person--if you let it. Sometimes an answer is just a prayer away.

 

[BigBoyJ]

Waw... you really made me thinking.
You're right, feeling sorrow for myself is not gonna help me.
Bodybuilding helped me alot to keep my sanity.
When I look in to the mirror, I see: this is what I have done and I'm damn
proud about it.
My dream is to compete in a few years... if I work hard enough, then
maybe I can step on stage, and that's what I always been dreaming of.
So I'll try to keep strong... thanks for listening

And that's the key. Focusing on the positive things. Looking at the negative is easy to do, but doing it will drag you down. Focus on the things that make you happy and learn how to let the bad things roll off your back. If competing is a goal for you, go for it, have fun.

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Geoffke, it sounds like you've gone through a lot of rough times lately.

I am glad you've reached out and shared some of your situation here. Sorry you are hurting. What do your friends and family think of the the things that have been happening in your life?

I agree with the posts above and it sounds like you've made up your mind to accentuate the positive aspects of your life. That's great!

One nice way of helping yourself accomplish this task is to keep a log and write down at least one postive thing about yourself each day. Place a note card where you will see it and read it to yourself everytime you see it. Practice keeping track of your successes. Believe it or not we get so good at negaitve self-talk that it runs a constant loop in our minds if we are not careful.

If your testosterone levels are low it could be a significant factor in your moods. Don't let that testosterone level stay low!

 

[AsylumBitch]

If you love yourself, people will fall over themselves to love you.


Dude, nothing is ever this bad. You really do have to get your chin up and do some things for yourself.

You say this girl never loved you. Then do you really want her in your life? Ofcourse not. As hard as it is to get over, you will in time.

Be strong. You know you can and I am sure you have before.

Time does not heal all wounds, it's what you do in that time that does the healing.

 

[REA]

I couldnt help but notice this thread, you are definitly facing some mentally damaging situations...
I know its all easy for most of us to say certain things because only you know how you feel about your life, but for a minute think about it in perspective and realize that your life could be soo much worse...its not going to be this way forever, so that being said its all up to you in what you decide for yourself. In life we really dont have to do ANYTHING...the only thing we all have to do is die...everything else besides death is something we choose to do. (we dont even have to get out of bed if we dont want to either). So basically im not saying that you wanted these things to happen (everything happens for a reason) but really, you are simply choosing to let yourself be pissed off and have negative thoughts....thats your whole perception on your life.... so.. is this way of thinking working for you??? based on results, it isnt. you dont need to do that to yourself. people who think this way need to get out of their head embrace the fact that life is shitty sometimes and know that obstacles are inevitable...and use that knowledge as strength to plow through your problems...ever wonder why training is way better when youre pissed off?? .. you take your anger out on the weights, thats one way but seriously in the long run youll be a stronger person and know how to deal with any situation. all im saying is youre life is worth living even during the fucked up present scenario..why dont you start a new thread and post the good things in your life right now and see how you feel. there are good things im sure you can speak about. so are you willing to give up who you are right now in order to become who you really want to be?? nobodys gonna make that decision for you...choose wisely

"growth happens on the edge of discomfort"

 

[Geoffke]

Hey... I'm feeling better now.
Sig., it's been 4 years that I didn't tell anyone about my problems,
but talking about deffenetly helps.
I'm not a crybaby, but now I understand that my life isn't been easy for me, so I'm proud of myself keeping it all together, have good points at school, and to be succesfull as an athlete.
I was feeling very bad though because my girlfriend left, but like the guy here said: do I want somebody in my life who doesn't love me? Hell no, then I rather be alone....

Thanks for the advice everyone, I feel better now

 

[REA]

Hey... I'm feeling better now.
Sig., it's been 4 years that I didn't tell anyone about my problems,
but talking about deffenetly helps.
I'm not a crybaby, but now I understand that my life isn't been easy for me, so I'm proud of myself keeping it all together, have good points at school, and to be succesfull as an athlete.
I was feeling very bad though because my girlfriend left, but like the guy here said: do I want somebody in my life who doesn't love me? Hell no, then I rather be alone....

Thanks for the advice everyone, I feel better now

NOW SEE!! the second you change your perception or belief on your life, puttting all the bullshit aside and moving on, you feel better!

 

[feelnfit]

donot rely on anyone but yourself to make you happy. by putting some one on a pedastel you build your world around them without realizing what would happen if that pedastel falls and your world cracks? build a world together so that if somthing happens only a piece will be missing not the whole world.
bodybuilding has been with me to fall on throughout my first marriage,jobs and other things that have happen in my life. it help me re-focus so i could get my life back on trac. andit is mine and no-one can take that away.

 

[denntit]

It was not meant to be a bed of roses

But bro, you have to use your faith because no one can snatch it away from you. That is the most valuable item in your life. It makes you believe in yourself and that you could fulfil your dreams if you try hard enough.

Don't let yourself down bro.

 

[Future]

I think of life as a test. There is a lot of stuff that will pass through and test us. I have determined to always do and be my best--No matter what comes my way. Each test that you will go through will just strengthen you and make you a better person--if you let it. Sometimes an answer is just a prayer away.

EXACTLY. Remeber, the weak crumble when life gets tough. Anyway can endure the good times. Despite your pain, and it's ok to be upset, you gotta rise above it somehow. Don't deny your pain and hurts. Embrace them. Be honest with yourself. That will help you heal in time. And sadly that is usually the one big denominator of healing: time.

 

[AsylumBitch]

I was away for a few weeks and checked this post as soon as I returned.It is great to see that you are feeling a bit better. Keep that attitude up.

Speaking from the experience of a very long depression, it is amazing how good you can feel when you start thinking about yourself and loving yourself. Everything else just falls into place my friend. It truly does.