loneliness? combating it?

[maxsupplements]

hey guys, just wanted to see what all you single fellas do to keep the loneliness down...
i have been divorced for around 6 months, and now seems like the loneliness gets soo bad sometimes i just get all emotional and crap... seems like it always hits on a saturday nite and on sunday after church... i have cleaned my life up alot, and really am not into one night stands, and just having chicks around for the hell of it... now i am at a point in my life that i dont want to "settle" for a woman, i feel that when i was married, that i had settled for her.. she was a good woman, but all we had in common was sex and religion, and you know, unless you are married, thats not too good of a combination...lol...
im not much of a fan of the bars or clubs, but seems like every damn date i go on, i now compare to my exwife... its either, the chick doenst give me that "OH MY GOSH" crazy feeling, or shes just not that into me... so, after COUNTLESS dates with a bunch of chicks i feel no potential with, i am at a plateau..
you know i hang out with my good bros, but they just dont fulfill that companionship, and attention that i can get from a woman..
you guys got any suggestions? im just gettin lonely here!!

 

[flexmaster]

im in the same boat maxsupps, sometimes i dont know what to do with myself. i was told to set goals for myself to keep my mind off things...so i am training for my first powerlifing meet. granted i dont train on fri/sat/sun night, which, like you, is when i seem to really feel depressed and lonely. i would think you should just take it slow with the ladies, dont be looking for "the one" right now, just go out and meet new people, and if/when she comes you'll know because you'll just click together. i know its hard to meet people when you're not into the bar/club scene because i dont do that either...makes for a lot of lonely nights! maybe try having people over to your house, and inviting all your buddies and telling them to invite as many people as they can. just an idea

 

[Mr Pickles]

i would think you should just take it slow with the ladies, dont be looking for "the one" right now, just go out and meet new people, and if/when she comes you'll know because you'll just click together. i know its hard to meet people when you're not into the bar/club scene because i dont do that either...makes for a lot of lonely nights! maybe try having people over to your house, and inviting all your buddies and telling them to invite as many people as they can. just an idea

good advice.

the best times i'ver had, we when i wasnt trying to hav fun.. it just happened

same thing with girls... i never find a girl when i'm looking for one... but when i'm just out to have fun... it kinda just has of way of happening...

try not to think about it and just do the things that you like... for me.. i like to go to the shooting range (either alone, with a friend, or take a girl.. i taugh my ex how to shoot.. it was fun as hell.. now she's dangerous, which is a scary thought, but it was good time), work on my car, the gym, i rent ALOT of movies... in the summer i played in a softball league at work

just get out and do shit... but get out!! i tend to lock myself in my apt when i get depressed or lonely or whatever but its the worst thing to do...

just get out and do your thing... you'll be alright in no time...

 

[Mr Pickles]

PS

i masturbate a lot.

that helps.
















and i really mean a lot

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

any brothers? close friends? when my fiance left, I would go out with my brother and his friends from work, and we'd never talk about my ex. it felt great to just get out with the guys and forget everything for a few hours.

get some friends and just go out to have a good time. don't even think about being lonely.

i agree with pickles, when you look for something, it's harder then hell to find it... when you're just out havin a good time, laughing like no tomorrow, women see that and like it.... trust me, just have a good time and you'll meet the next woman before ya know it. you're a good guy dude, things'll work out for ya.

JW

 

[JETHRO TULL]

I THINK FLEXMASTER AND PICKLES ARE RIGHT.

I HAVE JUST THE OPPOSITE THING HAPPENING IN MY LIFE. I LIKE TO BE ALONE.....REALLY LIKE IT. I CAN TELL YOU THOUGH, MOST OF THE TIME WHEN FOLKS DO SHOW UP I HAVE FUN.

I AGREE WITH DOING SOCIAL GATHERINGS WITH OUT A DESIRED OUTCOME...AS IN NOT HOPING TO FIND A CHIC.....THE GOAL OF JUST ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF OTHERS IS ENOUGH. GET A CARD GAME GOING....RENT A MOVIE WITH SOME FRIENDS OF GO OUT TO EAT. THERE ARE THINGS TO DO....SOMETIMES ITS SORTA FUN TO WALLOW IN SADNESS AND LISTEN TO SAD SONGS TOO! HAHAHAHA

 

[StoryOfTheYear]

I HAVE JUST THE OPPOSITE THING HAPPENING IN MY LIFE. I LIKE TO BE ALONE.....REALLY LIKE IT. I CAN TELL YOU THOUGH, MOST OF THE TIME WHEN FOLKS DO SHOW UP I HAVE FUN.

I AGREE WITH DOING SOCIAL GATHERINGS WITH OUT A DESIRED OUTCOME...AS IN NOT HOPING TO FIND A CHIC.....THE GOAL OF JUST ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF OTHERS IS ENOUGH. GET A CARD GAME GOING....RENT A MOVIE WITH SOME FRIENDS OF GO OUT TO EAT. THERE ARE THINGS TO DO....SOMETIMES ITS SORTA FUN TO WALLOW IN SADNESS AND LISTEN TO SAD SONGS TOO! HAHAHAHA

^^^Yeah! like "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" lol j/k. Im the same way. I like keeping to myself a lot and just playing my guitar. Dont worry about it. Though, I think the club and bar atmosphere are different. Im WAY more of a "hanging out at the bar playing pool" kind of guy. Do you have any hobbies?

 

[maxsupplements]

wow, thanks guys....

you know, i had been having one of those weeks last week...
it got me all down and shit.... but after all your guys suggestions, i have already stopped looking for a woman completely...
and also, hunting season started, and i wasnt going enough.... so imagine what ill be doing alot of soon....

and you all know what... when i talked to my brother about this,, he totally understood,, and now hes almost buggin the heck outta me,.. but thats what brothers are for....

and hes gotta be one of my best friends... and my best hunting partner.... only thing that sucks is it is sooo damn dry here that the water isnt as i would like it to me.. im a big duck hunter, so you gotta have water for ducks...but you know, its more the fellowship thats fun moreso than the actual KILLING!!!

thanks guys for all the great suggestions... im not much of a bar guys, and now more so since i have been getting mroe and more involved in church... so, i have more idle time on my hands.. but thats a goood thing...

THANKS BRO'S!!!

 

[Mr Pickles]

you're welcome

glad you're doing better

now go shoot sumfin

 

[OuchThatHurts]

'tis the season

Okay. This is a huge topic.

Part of the reason that I've been away from the board for some time is that I'm dealing with the usual overflow of people that need help through this time of year.

It looks as though this instance is pretty much wrapped up in this thread so I won't cover it here but this is an area where many people, whether they know it or not, need help. So I'll try to put something together in the next few days and post it open forum.

Lonliness and feelings of isolation are some of the most common feelings among people today so be aware that you are in good company and suround yourself with people who care about you.

Take care,

Doc ouch

 

[CuttingEdge]

I am kind of a recluse, but loneliness does weigh heavily on someone after a while.

I always spend Christmas Eve and New Year's Even by myself now. Those are the 2 hardest days of the year for me. I don't date a whole lot (I have only dated 3 or 4 people in the last 5 years) and I am always single come the Holidays. This is the worst time of the year for me. I always thought by the time I was 28 I would have a wife to spend Christmas Eve with, children to play with and buy toys for, a Christmas morning to look forward too..

Being single/alone does have it's advantages, however. I thought I'd found the "right person" at one point in my life...about a year and a half ago. It just turned out that it wasn't meant to be. I'm not the easiest person in the world to put up with, but I do have a lot of good qualities. Some people who choose not to know me (at the gym, per se) think that I'm "arrogant" or "snobbish", when, in fact, I just like to not be bothered while I'm at the gym. I don't hit on everything that walks or BS with everyone there. I'm in there to take care of business and get my mind off the world, not to continually hit on everything that walks. I think guys that do that are sad. Of course, some of the people at my local gym actually thought I was GAY until a few weeks ago because I don't flirt with everything in there, shave my bodyhair, tan, etc. (things that people with good physiques try to do). I guess it would be hard to meet people at the gym if everyone there thinks you're gay anyway...alas...

I'm just different, and it's led to loneliness. I know my own personal loneliness won't last forever, but I deal with depression in my life. I have a good relationship with my brothers and mother (as well as other family members) and still have a couple good friends from high school left. A lot of the guys I grew up with are married, have moved away or are dead. I'm about the only one left who's still single.

My ship will come in. And, like someone said earlier, probably when I least expect it. It's frustrating when people judge you without knowing you just because you are quiet (at the gym), though. The funny thing is, when someone actually talks to me, I love to converse. I'm just not good at breaking the ice.

Oh well, sorry for the rant. It's late and I had to vent

 

[da_Fonz]

Well i know what yall are talking about. All the women I have met where I live all love how I look and everything but that quickly fades b/c they feel I spend to much time in the gym, i'm to strict in my diet, etc. I def dont really talk to anyone in the gym b/c I'm in there taking care of what needs to be done then getting out. I dont make it a social outting like some do. Not to mention I've been burned alot in the past so I put up a wall around myself to keep from getting hurt again and this usually causes me to screw things up pretty badly and loose the person I'm with. I just did that same stupid thing again with someone who for the first time I really enjoyed being around but like always i pushed them away when they got to close. This most likely cost me the relationship b/c the girl said shes needs space. She says she still loves me but needs time to think things through. I dont know why I act so rediculously stupid sometimes.

I hope things will work out but things havent been goin my way at all this year. I can say this has been one of the worst years in my life. I have had to deal with some serious fam issues, as well as work, and personal things which i think culminated into me pushing everyone away and costing me a relationship which for once I was happy in.

I def hope that next year will be a better one.

 

[Shawn Cooke]

yeah i lead a lonely and isolated as fuck life myself. no gf, couple friends, just recently got terminated at work. like cuttingedge, i can converse but also have a hard time breaking the ice. i too dont flirt with every bitch at the gym or talk to most dudes. im just quiet and get my shit done. i dont think people would think you're gay in there cuz u dont flirt with bitches there. at least not me cuz i carry myself manly. but most the time i talk to nobody.

but yeah this shit bothers me too i dont hit on alot of chicks partly because of the reason im real boring to be honest and i dont trust any bitch. i dont want to enter any serious relationships. im a very attractive young dude so ill just hit on the older hot bitches that arent in dreamland and just wanna fuck young guys.