love the girl but cant stay faithful

[tkav1980]

i think the title of the thread says it all. i love her to death, but have a huge problem resisting temptation and in my business its thrown out there all the time. i mean blatent too. had a customer last week say"can we cut the shit and go in the back?". i wish i had more will power than i do. i feel like i should break up with her and go do what i want, but when im around her i want nothing to do with anyone else but her.

 

[thebrick]

Damn, what kind of work do you do?

Seriously, you owe it to her (and yourself) to be honest in this relationship. Unless "playing around" is OK with her and I think you know already the answer to that. Get off the fence and pick one.

 

[aeliop]

This might hurt a little bit.

i think the title of the thread says it all. i love her to death, but have a huge problem resisting temptation and in my business its thrown out there all the time. i mean blatent too. had a customer last week say"can we cut the shit and go in the back?". i wish i had more will power than i do. i feel like i should break up with her and go do what i want, but when im around her i want nothing to do with anyone else but her.

tkav let me start with I think you are a great member here and you're culinary contributions are a wonderful thing for all of the members. On a personal note you have contributed to my own site and I really appreciate that. That being said I am going to say to you what someone once said to me that really put things in perspective.

tkav is you're ego so big that you think you can have a relationship based on trust, love, and understanding with one person but also feed you're ego when ever you are hungry by countless sexual conquests? tkav you can resist temptation it's you're ego you can't handle. We all know it feels good, girls want you, there feeding you're ego but how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you want that done to you? I know man it's hard when girls show you attention it's hard to say no. But you have to realize that if and god forbid this, you were in a wheel chair tommorow you're not having the conversation with the girl in the storage room or any others but the girl you are with now might be the one taking you to the bathroom.
tkav next time someone makes a play think about what does it mean.

respect to you tkav in no way is this an attack just some advice from an old timer that thinks maybe you can use it.

 

[oldfella]

Yea, TKAV, you are a great member and well respected here. So I'll cut to the chase on this. Cut her loose and do your thing. DO not hurt this girl like that. Put yourself in her shoes!! I mean really put yourself in her shoes..............................does not feel good does it? SO as Brick said. Get your ass off the fence and choose. One or the other bro.......you cannot have both.

 

[mrsoul]

break up with her. its a dick move to cheat on her, no offense, but real men don't cheat.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

tkav is you're ego so big that you think you can have a relationship based on trust, love, and understanding with one person but also feed you're ego when ever you are hungry by countless sexual conquests? tkav you can resist temptation it's you're ego you can't handle. We all know it feels good, girls want you, there feeding you're ego but how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you want that done to you? I know man it's hard when girls show you attention it's hard to say no. But you have to realize that if and god forbid this, you were in a wheel chair tommorow you're not having the conversation with the girl in the storage room or any others but the girl you are with now might be the one taking you to the bathroom.
tkav next time someone makes a play think about what does it mean.

respect to you tkav in no way is this an attack just some advice from an old timer that thinks maybe you can use it.

Tkav, I was going to respond but when I saw this post I have nothing to add. This about sums it up. Succinct, honest, and straight to the point. Just the way I like it. I love your contributions to the board so don't get me wrong either. Like the above, let this girl go and play the field or don't and do the right thing.

 

[abolish the weak]

Take it from someone who has been there. It's not worth it, and you'll get caught. No matter how slick you think you are, you'll get caught sooner or later. When I sat there and watched my wife cry like her heart was torn out of her chest, I wanted to take a gun to my head, seriously. Strange part about it, is I felt hurt too. I felt like I hurt myself, like I had already committed suicide but didn't die from it. Dont do it, if you really love this girl straighten up now and start making up for your lies.

 

[oldfella]

TKAV, I had two long term relationships in the past that both cheated on me. The first one was my first love and HS sweetheart. I caught her with another guy and all I can say is...........I was gutted, literally. I hurt from the inside out a hurt that I had never known. A hurt that I knew I never wanted to feel again. I cried for hours that night and then on and off for days. I might as well have withdrawn from the human race, that's how much it hurt.

The second was also a girl I knew in HS but never hooked up with until well after that. We were together steady for almost three years. After a night out to dinner and bowling She tells me she insn't feeling real good and I agree to go home. I leave and about half way home I realize I have her bowling ball in the car. So I turn around to drop it back off to her. As I knocked on her door she raced to open it and a smile turned to absolute horror on her face as she saw me standing there. At that moment lover boy was pulling into the driveway. Well he saw me and hot footed it out of there, needless to say I was gutted like a fucking fish for the second time in my short life. I didn't have any words other than to drop the bowling ball at her feet from waist height and said......."Here's your fucking bowling ball, have a nice life" I turned away and never saw her again. That hurt I had falt that long ago soon returned and fast, but this time it hit me even harder as I realized that this must have been going on behind my back for some time. I felt so useless and less than a man at that point. No One should have to go through that torment. So my point is you know what to do. Spare someone you supposedly care about that kind of anguish, that kind of gut wrenching pain. You just have no idea what that can do to a person until you feel it yourself.

C'mon Tkav, this is not High school any longer. Cut her loose and go do your thing and let her get on with her life bro. It is the humane thing to do here!

 

[michelin]

tkav you've got all the willpower in the world, its whether or not you choose to apply it at the right time.

You know its wrong to cheat on your girl and the fact you're doing it proves you don't 'love her to death' - no matter what you tell yourself.

Let her go dude, she deserves to be treated better and you've obviously got some playing around to do until you're ready to commit to one girl

Good luck.

 

[cpesloco]

I want to know what you do for work?

everyone else has laid down the responses.

 

[Muay Thai]

DONT 4GET ABOUT KARMA TOO!!!! IT DOES EXIST AND TAKES RETRIBUTION

 

[NWMUSCLE]

If you really do LOVE her as aperson and your girl, then you would not cheat no matter what!.


Believe me I was a fuckchop for years, till I met the girl I wanted to marry, after that, I still look around at the sights, but I would never take the ride


You will know when you have the right one and that shit will end, unless you have a psychological issue to work out that is.

 

[buffbabeca]

DONT 4GET ABOUT KARMA TOO!!!! IT DOES EXIST AND TAKES RETRIBUTION

there couldnt be a truer statement.. i will be the female to chime in here on the topic. first and foremost stop being selfish and feeding your ego , be a man and have some sel respect and some respect for your lady and LEAVE HER if u cant be faithful..

ok sorry i didnt mean to attack you but i had to get that out. I have been the "other woman" before unknowlingly and it hurt. i thought i had a great relationship and really had feelings for this man only , introduced him to my fam (which is a huge thing for me) onlu to find out i was him woman on the side. much like Oldfella that pain runs deep and can break you if u let it.

please make up your mind and come clean and them move on with your choice

 

[tkav1980]

well your all right with this one. being the general manager of a bar and grill you can imagine the temptaion around all the time. after thinking this over for the last day i came to the conclusion that im not going to mess around any more. i thought about breaking up with her and just cant do it. i can however "keep it in my pants" so to speak. i appreciate all the advice from all of you. the girl is a saint to put up with things like my schedual and just my general bullshit. i thought about how i would feel if the roles were reversed and i cant do that to her.

 

[StoryOfTheYear]

Personally, I always try to treat other people as I would want to be treated. Now I'm not perfect, but the point is I try to the best of my ability. -StOrY

 

[j8282]

Once you go down that path its hard to turn away. If you break up with her it will only continue with someone else later. Picture the girl you love with someone else doing what you do, that should kill your temptation. I can truly relate bro.

 

[VanR__]

Murphy's Law--You'll break up with your girl and be single again and the girls will stop hitting on you

 

[cpesloco]

well your all right with this one. being the general manager of a bar and grill you can imagine the temptaion around all the time. after thinking this over for the last day i came to the conclusion that im not going to mess around any more. i thought about breaking up with her and just cant do it. i can however "keep it in my pants" so to speak. i appreciate all the advice from all of you. the girl is a saint to put up with things like my schedual and just my general bullshit. i thought about how i would feel if the roles were reversed and i cant do that to her.

I owned a bar and grill no explanation needed. I know the temptation. My partner was a man whore and could not keep it in his pants. I had to have numerous conversations with him about not fucking our employees and customers and he was married. Bad business all the way around.

 

[RONJON]

Bro I feel ya! ...I have been like this for alot of my young life. I think everybody is at some point. Then I met this girl and didnt really know if it was gunna go anywhere and in fact didnt really even care. But we have became really close and she is a great girl and now when the temptation comes I just cant seem to take the bait. I guess I just had to find someone I really cared about. Just something to consider bro

RONJON

 

[RONJON]

Murphy's Law--You'll break up with your girl and be single again and the girls will stop hitting on you

VERY TRUE!