O/T: Gf had a misscarriage

[dieselbuilder]

We didnt even know she was pregnant and she had a misscarriage. We were not planning on it either (the pregnancy as a whole). Does anyone else have any experience dealing with this sorta thing? When she first told me about it, I went numb and felt like crying because I thought about how I had a baby for probably 1 month....I guess God had other plans.... I dont know, I just feel loss.

I know I am not good friends with anyone on this board like some people are... I was just wondering if anyone else has been there and has an insight.

 

[Big Bapper]

Sorry to hear this bro.

 

[SisyphusRocks]

I'm sorry to hear this too.
I'm not really tight with you but I feel for you.
Take care of your lady & yourself & don't get too down.

 

[conan1980]

sorry for your loss bro..

have been there and it is very sad..

talk about it with your gf and maybe light a candle or anything else to remember the little one..

i personally like to take time out each year on the anniversary and do something to remember.

will make you feel better..

and its good to shed a few tears, maybe together with the gf..

once again very sorry for your loss..

 

[BigChef]

Mate I am sorry for your loss. My wife lost our baby when she/he was 6 weeks old. She was bleeding alot too. We both cry and support one another but it took us time to get over it and we try again.

Hang in there mate, support your gal mate and be there for her.
Life goes on ! Best part bout it is to keep on trying and enjoy the thrill with your partner.

Regards,


Chef

 

[EasyEJL]

we had a miscarriage on what would have been our 3rd child at 19 weeks. we had known it was going to happen from around week 13ish but decided to carry to miscarriage rather than abortion.

it was not easy, I ended up buying a new car as my grief reaction, she just started planning for having another on purpose as hers.

at 20 weeks in florida they actually issue a death certificate, so we were 1 week short of that. We did have his remains cremated and put in a tiny urn, which now sits inside a build a bear workshop dog who sits in our bedroom. The other kids play with him from time to time, the 5 year old slept with him last nite, and knows he is something special if not exactly what.

Probably its a good time for you to talk with your gf about long time plans for relationship + family

 

[madmick]

So sorry bro. My fiancee had one about 18 months ago. It is a tough thing to go thru. Be there for your girl, I know mine took it really hard and still does.

 

[ldog40]

Been there twice. All I can say is take your cues from her and be there for her. Everyone deals with it differently. All I can say is if she has a need to talk and vent, let her do it. She may even shut down a bit, I can't really say. Just be there for each other.

 

[MiteyMite]

Nothing wrong with crying bro, be there for her. You have a lot more friends then you think. Our prayers are with you both.

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Well, I'd like to think this board is different.

We didnt even know she was pregnant and she had a misscarriage. We were not planning on it either (the pregnancy as a whole). Does anyone else have any experience dealing with this sorta thing? When she first told me about it, I went numb and felt like crying because I thought about how I had a baby for probably 1 month....I guess God had other plans.... I dont know, I just feel loss.

I know I am not good friends with anyone on this board like some people are... I was just wondering if anyone else has been there and has an insight.

You are sure as hell welcome to be my friend. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you and your woman recover. Talk to her, comfort her, let her know how special she is to you.

Hit Barnes and Noble.....there are books that discuss loss and grieving.

Hang in there.

 

[dieselbuilder]

we had a miscarriage on what would have been our 3rd child at 19 weeks. we had known it was going to happen from around week 13ish but decided to carry to miscarriage rather than abortion.

it was not easy, I ended up buying a new car as my grief reaction, she just started planning for having another on purpose as hers.

at 20 weeks in florida they actually issue a death certificate, so we were 1 week short of that. We did have his remains cremated and put in a tiny urn, which now sits inside a build a bear workshop dog who sits in our bedroom. The other kids play with him from time to time, the 5 year old slept with him last nite, and knows he is something special if not exactly what.

Probably its a good time for you to talk with your gf about long time plans for relationship + family

Jeez bro, that is so sad.

Also, thanks to everyone who posted. It definitely helped. Hopefully everything will work out.

 

[slide]

I have been through it twice--and both times, the following month, she was pregnant again with my two boys.

We were young and it was certainly tough, but it was a time where we both needed each other and where I needed to be there for her even more.

I wish you both well.

-slide

 

[gyno]

hey friend, thats tough. My prayers are with you and your GF.

 

[EasyEJL]

Jeez bro, that is so sad.

Also, thanks to everyone who posted. It definitely helped. Hopefully everything will work out.

we got pregnant with the 3rd maybe 8 months later, he's 1 now and hayuge. at 13 months he's almost 30lbs

 

[cslim]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Be there for each other, comfort, console, and yes, this opens up a good time to talk about family, relationship, what life you want with her

Although it doesn't alleviate the pain the two of you are sharing, God does have another plan for you right now and it will be ok.

Bless the both of you!

 

[violentmessiah]

wow

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is a loss, but don't forget that God still has plans. I have no words that are worth much other than I am so very sorry, and you will both be in my prayers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. Don't hold back on your girlfriend and be there for her when she needs to let it out, which is sometimes extremely difficult for the female. It's okay and health to shed some tears together.
My heart goes out to you both.

 

[csuperman]

i know how you feel i had the exact same situation happen, we were not planning on it and in fact she was on birth control, but sometimes things happen. I often thought about how much my life (out life) would be differant if there was a child in it. We mostly talked about how it would have been and it seemed to help.

 

[Iceman1800]

agree with what others are saying. also, don't look for reasons or blame. it is easy to say "if I only knew" and think about what you could have done different to change what happened but that does no good. she especially will feel guilt so make sure she knows its not her fault

 

[h22tuned]

Im very sorry for your loss , my prayers are with you.

 

[ENraged]

We didnt even know she was pregnant and she had a misscarriage. We were not planning on it either (the pregnancy as a whole). Does anyone else have any experience dealing with this sorta thing? When she first told me about it, I went numb and felt like crying because I thought about how I had a baby for probably 1 month....I guess God had other plans.... I dont know, I just feel loss.

I know I am not good friends with anyone on this board like some people are... I was just wondering if anyone else has been there and has an insight.

Back in high school my G/F went off the road on her way home from soccer practice (trying to miss a rabbit!) turned out she was pregnant at the time and we had no clue!
it sucks ass bro! It gets easier and like you said it was not in the cards rite now so hopefully in the future the time will be rite.
I will admit even now I still wonder what could have been. Do not go beating yourself up over it or have any ill feeling towards her as it was a mystery