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OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABIES...

LATS

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we all know that sometimes kids are way to honest..political correctness is not their cup of tea. anyway, today i was taking my little girl to a party of one of her friends..after dropping her off at the party , i decided to go to the mall..now, just to let ya know, i never go out to public places with a tank top on..i always wear baggy shirt or something..i do no like the attention and it is kinda a fetish of mine...but, this day i decided to brave the world since i was so close to the mall and go ahead and walk in..i was wearing a t shirt with the sleeves cut out and shorts..i figured that the book store that i wanted to go to was very close to the door so , waht could happen in that time??
i walk in and go immediately to the magazine rack to pick up my civil war magazines (yes, i am a huge civil war buff). as i get to the mag rack i see there is two boys abouit 10 years old at the rack sitting the ground.. both kids are black and fully dressed in the jerseys, shorts and hats, albeit turned side ways, of their favorite sports teams..i walk up and try to be invisiable and grab my magazines..." DANG, YOU ARE HUGE" one lets out..that of course makes the others at the rack turn and look,,,i just smile and attempt to grab the other mags and get out of there "HOW MUCH YOU LIFT??" i reply "i dont know..not much" thinking the vague answer would stop the questions..no dice. "YOU WRESTLE OR PLAY FOOTBALL?" "no, i dont " THEN WHY YOU GOT THEM MUSCLES??" i reply "i just do.." i then get " NO WAY MAN, YOU DONT JUST GET MUSCLES, YOU GOTTA LIFT WEIGHTS ARE SOMETHIN' " i say "well, i lift sometimes but, i dont play sports or anything" "DO GIRLS LIKE THEM MUSCLES??" as you can see i am being suckered into a conversation and can not seem to get out of it without looking like a a- hole.. so i said" not all..some i guess" WELL, IF GIRLS DONT LIKE THEM MUSCLES THEN WHY YOU GOT 'EM??" "well, i like them so that is all that matters" "WHAT...YOU A HOMO OR SOMETHIN' " now , i am losing this battle and completely caught off guard by the little shits last volley..i stammer " no, i am not a homo, as you put it, i just said that some girls do not like big muscles" he stares at me and gives me the look of "yeah right"..and then looks at his friend.. i now find myself defending my "straightness" to a buch of pre pubesent midgets i say " guys , i am married, so i am not gay" "WHATEVER, (he then giggles and high 5's his friend)" as i strat to walk away he yells "IF YA NOT A WRESTLER OR FOOTBALL PLAYER THEN WHY YA BOTHER TO LIFT THEM WEIGHTS?" I RETORT "it is like chrome on a car..ya dont need it put it is nice to have it" thinking i just topped the little bastards , i make it up to the register. just then i hear " TELL YA BOYFRIEND I SAID HI" he then dropped out of sight and all i hear was his silly ass giggle.. i am now in a fetal postition on my couch trying to stop crying....LITTLE BASTARDS !!!!! i will now always have a big ass t shirt in my car at all times..:(
 

xcelbeyond

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:confused: :D

xcel
 

thompson

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That is hilarious! You havent really experienced it until you are in the middle of 20 or so of them! I worked at a nightclub that had occasional teen nights (12-18). They are very brave and outspoken.
On another related note, I noticed you said you have a little girl. Dont ever let her go to a teen night anywhere!!! You wouldnt believe what goes on there. Just a little insider tip
 

drgoodbody

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:p

"TELL YA BOYFRIEND I SAID HI"....rotflmao!

Classic.

DrG
 

Trulyhuge

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If I am not mistaken, isn't your boyfriends name marty???:D

TH
 

Chest Rockwell

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Now that was some good stuff. You sure that wasn't chris rock tearing into you? He kinda looks like a prepubescent boy.
 

raybravo

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bwah ha ha ha , jesus christ , this story rocks :D !!!!
 

JustWannaBeHuge

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lol. sorry dude, but me and my girl are laughing our asses off at your expence. that was to damn funny


JW
 

Mr_Magoo

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thats why i only wear baggy clothes for the past 2 years, after a while u just get sick and tired of the questions, i still get them because my best bodyparts, (Delts, and Traps, Lats) show through my shirts, but the questions arent as common nowadays
 

Steak Helmet

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LATS,

Excellent story...the stares are nice sometimes, because some people imagine themselves looking like that.
 

Paul Bunyan

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That's some funny shit! I always get asked if I'm a pro-wrestler or a Stongman competitor. But that's mostly from adults.

PB
 

JETHRO TULL

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LATS! THAT WAS GREAT........HAHAHA

I AM 38 AND NEVER HAVE BEEN MARRIED........SOMETIMES EYEBROWS GET RAISED AT THAT. NO ONE EVER TOLD ME TO 'TELL MY BOYFREIND, HELLO" THOUGH! HAHAHAHA.......STUFF LIKE THAT KEEPS YOU HUMBLE. HOLY CRAP........THAT'S FUNNY.:D
 

tbonus

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my boyfriend and I are laughing our asses off!!, hehe, j/k
 

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  • LATS
    Moderator / FOUNDING Member / NPC Judge

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