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- Joined
- Jul 5, 2005
- Messages
- 5
Mr. Strong
He definitely takes his ego into the gym. Mr. Strong is concerned only about the amount of weight he can hoist. He has never heard the words form or technique. Mr. Strong tends to grunt, groan and growl during the last few reps of a set. On completion he sits down on the nearest bench and sheepishly looks around the gym to see who he has impressed. If no one appears to be impressed, he adds more weight for his next set.
Mr. Pocket Hercules
This guy stands barely 5 feet tall in his stocking feet. He is built like a brick outhouse and is proud of his blocky appearance. He reminds gym members that if he were 6 feet tall he’d be the biggest man on Earth. Nobody could touch him. His arms would be 30 inches! He also reminds members that he is not short in the most important area of his anatomy.
Mr. Lat Spread
Whether stripped for the beach or standing in a shopping mall, he is always lat spreading. Some observers conclude his arms just will not go down by his sides. Mr. Lat Spread is so committed to standing in this manner that even dogs bark at him when he approaches them in the street. If he moves forward, they rapidly retreat, yelping in complete fear of his intimidating silhouette.
Mr. Freakazoid
Every bodypart has to be freaky His quads have to be 6 inches bigger than his minute waist. He wants to make Ronnie Coleman look as though he never even trained. Mr. Freakazoid’s ambition is to make onlookers throw up when they view his flexed vein-choked 29-inch arms.
Mr. Gym Bag
He loves his gym bag. It makes him feel like an important businessman going to the office. Besides, it gives him an opportunity to flex his lats withouy looking as if he’s trying to impress. If possib1e, Mr. Gym Bag also likes to hol a water bottle in his other hand when wa1kingot into the gym. It’s his excuse for having his arm flexed and lookin’ good.
Mr. Pose Master
Posing is his life. He has never been to a restroom without practicing a few poses, complete with matching smile. He has yet to pass a mirror without flexing. If h meets a couple of young fans in a grocery store, he removes his T-shfrt to give them a side chest pose and drops his baggies to show off his quads. He is in constant need of validation.
Mr. Lover Boy
Although he enjoys his muscles and his fast cars Mr. Lover Boy enjoys his women even more. His only reason for training is to look good for the gym chicks. He is always ready to pose for a camera and has appeared in several bodybuilding magazines. He never enters contests but goes to the Arnold and the Olympia to pick up a hot new conquest or two. His mind seldom thinks about anything other than raucous sex. When he meets a new woman his eyes go straight to her butt, then to her boobs and then back to her butt. If he likes what he sees he falls back on his favorite pickup line: “Hey, baby! You’re so fine I’d do your shadow on a gravel road.” If this doesn’t work he blurts out, “Have you seen my picture in the muscle magazines?”
Mr Benchman
He just loves power. Although he can squat, row and curl with the best of ‘em, Mr. Benchman has a passion for bench pressing. He insists on loading the bar himself. The clanging noise of sliding on the plates keeps the entire gym appraised of the huge amount of weight he is using. He regularly rests 20 minutes between sets and his bench press routine takes just over four hours to complete; sometimes he will eat a hamburger and fries between sets to keep his strength and energy levels up to the task. There is a lot of noisy sucking of air, hissing, spluttering and groaning as Mr. Benchman performs his laSt few reps.
Mr. Traps
Shrugs are his favorite exercise. Mr. Traps will take on all-comers at any form of shrugging. His claim to fame is that he can shrug the back end of any known car, from a Honda to a Hummer. He boasts that one day he’ll shrug a tank or a freight train. Although he has never actually won a physique contest Mr. Traps is adamant that his day will come. He claims that compared to him, all other bodybuilders are pencil necks.
Mr Precontest
He’s entered 18 contests and never placed, but this time out he’s getting more ripped by the day. He takes great interest in looking contest-worthy and is getting his best white shorts and cut-off T’s out of the closet. He trims his hair every day, goes to the tanning beds and flexes in the mirror whenever he goes to the bathroom (sometimes for hours at a time). Modesty is not part of his vocabulary. His gym bag is neat and tidy; contains only a can of water-packed tuna, an apple and a mirror. When walking home from the gym on a crowded street, at six days out from the Nationals, Mr. Precontest loses it and shouts out to the gods above “I’m ready! I’m ready!”
Mr. Hang
He’s massive and it shows. Mr. Hang likes to dress up and appear cool. All his T’s are tailor made to show off his muscles to advantage. Even his socks are designer label. Mr. Hang, so named because his arms looked amazing in the hang position, but unfortunately when he flexed them they showed no biceps peak and are totally unimpressive. Mr. Hang only flexed in the privacy of his bathroom mirror (with the door locked!). He would close his eyes, flex hard and pray, but when he opened his eyes to gaze in the mirror the results were still zero. Day after day he would leave the toilet in a daze of disappointment. When he talked to fellow gym members Mr. Hang would always position himself sideways so that the full visual impact of his amazing hang was evident.
He definitely takes his ego into the gym. Mr. Strong is concerned only about the amount of weight he can hoist. He has never heard the words form or technique. Mr. Strong tends to grunt, groan and growl during the last few reps of a set. On completion he sits down on the nearest bench and sheepishly looks around the gym to see who he has impressed. If no one appears to be impressed, he adds more weight for his next set.
Mr. Pocket Hercules
This guy stands barely 5 feet tall in his stocking feet. He is built like a brick outhouse and is proud of his blocky appearance. He reminds gym members that if he were 6 feet tall he’d be the biggest man on Earth. Nobody could touch him. His arms would be 30 inches! He also reminds members that he is not short in the most important area of his anatomy.
Mr. Lat Spread
Whether stripped for the beach or standing in a shopping mall, he is always lat spreading. Some observers conclude his arms just will not go down by his sides. Mr. Lat Spread is so committed to standing in this manner that even dogs bark at him when he approaches them in the street. If he moves forward, they rapidly retreat, yelping in complete fear of his intimidating silhouette.
Mr. Freakazoid
Every bodypart has to be freaky His quads have to be 6 inches bigger than his minute waist. He wants to make Ronnie Coleman look as though he never even trained. Mr. Freakazoid’s ambition is to make onlookers throw up when they view his flexed vein-choked 29-inch arms.
Mr. Gym Bag
He loves his gym bag. It makes him feel like an important businessman going to the office. Besides, it gives him an opportunity to flex his lats withouy looking as if he’s trying to impress. If possib1e, Mr. Gym Bag also likes to hol a water bottle in his other hand when wa1kingot into the gym. It’s his excuse for having his arm flexed and lookin’ good.
Mr. Pose Master
Posing is his life. He has never been to a restroom without practicing a few poses, complete with matching smile. He has yet to pass a mirror without flexing. If h meets a couple of young fans in a grocery store, he removes his T-shfrt to give them a side chest pose and drops his baggies to show off his quads. He is in constant need of validation.
Mr. Lover Boy
Although he enjoys his muscles and his fast cars Mr. Lover Boy enjoys his women even more. His only reason for training is to look good for the gym chicks. He is always ready to pose for a camera and has appeared in several bodybuilding magazines. He never enters contests but goes to the Arnold and the Olympia to pick up a hot new conquest or two. His mind seldom thinks about anything other than raucous sex. When he meets a new woman his eyes go straight to her butt, then to her boobs and then back to her butt. If he likes what he sees he falls back on his favorite pickup line: “Hey, baby! You’re so fine I’d do your shadow on a gravel road.” If this doesn’t work he blurts out, “Have you seen my picture in the muscle magazines?”
Mr Benchman
He just loves power. Although he can squat, row and curl with the best of ‘em, Mr. Benchman has a passion for bench pressing. He insists on loading the bar himself. The clanging noise of sliding on the plates keeps the entire gym appraised of the huge amount of weight he is using. He regularly rests 20 minutes between sets and his bench press routine takes just over four hours to complete; sometimes he will eat a hamburger and fries between sets to keep his strength and energy levels up to the task. There is a lot of noisy sucking of air, hissing, spluttering and groaning as Mr. Benchman performs his laSt few reps.
Mr. Traps
Shrugs are his favorite exercise. Mr. Traps will take on all-comers at any form of shrugging. His claim to fame is that he can shrug the back end of any known car, from a Honda to a Hummer. He boasts that one day he’ll shrug a tank or a freight train. Although he has never actually won a physique contest Mr. Traps is adamant that his day will come. He claims that compared to him, all other bodybuilders are pencil necks.
Mr Precontest
He’s entered 18 contests and never placed, but this time out he’s getting more ripped by the day. He takes great interest in looking contest-worthy and is getting his best white shorts and cut-off T’s out of the closet. He trims his hair every day, goes to the tanning beds and flexes in the mirror whenever he goes to the bathroom (sometimes for hours at a time). Modesty is not part of his vocabulary. His gym bag is neat and tidy; contains only a can of water-packed tuna, an apple and a mirror. When walking home from the gym on a crowded street, at six days out from the Nationals, Mr. Precontest loses it and shouts out to the gods above “I’m ready! I’m ready!”
Mr. Hang
He’s massive and it shows. Mr. Hang likes to dress up and appear cool. All his T’s are tailor made to show off his muscles to advantage. Even his socks are designer label. Mr. Hang, so named because his arms looked amazing in the hang position, but unfortunately when he flexed them they showed no biceps peak and are totally unimpressive. Mr. Hang only flexed in the privacy of his bathroom mirror (with the door locked!). He would close his eyes, flex hard and pray, but when he opened his eyes to gaze in the mirror the results were still zero. Day after day he would leave the toilet in a daze of disappointment. When he talked to fellow gym members Mr. Hang would always position himself sideways so that the full visual impact of his amazing hang was evident.
